Thelema Lodge
Ordo Templi Orientis
P.O.Box 2303
Berkeley, CA 94702 USA
January 1997 e.v. at Thelema Lodge
Announcements from
Lodge Members and Officers
by Aleister Crowley


Derived from a lecture series in 1977 e.v. by Bill Heidrick
Copyright © Bill Heidrick

Frater P, known to the world as John P. McClimans, 1947-1996 e.v., II° OTO, of Sirius Oasis, died in his sleep in the evening of 10th November of complications of diabetes and a heart ailment after a stroke on 24th September. Frater P was a founder of CAW (the Church of All Worlds), and a Gardnerian of the Proteus Coven of New York City; had worked in the Chicago Temple of the Pagan Way; and had COG and Spiral ministerial credentials.
| Phantom walls and phantom halls | |
| The universe exploding | |
| Desiccation in the soul | |
| A phantom wind eroding | |
| Imago and Jericho | |
| Our tiger blood is urgent | |
| Son of Midnight and the Sun | |
| A winged splendor emergent | |
| (10-16-61) | |
| Ram's horn and Unicorn | |
| The star-track waves are twinkling | |
| Disassociated sense | |
| A sieving Siva's inkling | |
| (10-20-61) | |
This poem corresponds with the Sun trump in Tarot, one a cycle of Grady's lyrics which he entitled The Angel and the Abyss. Published first as a fragmentary quotation in The Magickal Link 3:10 (Berkeley: O.T.O., October 1983), it was first printed in complete form in McMurtry: Poems (London & Bergen: O.T.O., 1989), then in The Grady Project (Berkeley: O.T.O., December 1988).
A
.
| --- Ariadne |
| I was just beginning. | |
| Yes, Aiwaz. | |
| I wanted it all. | |
| I was determined to succeed. | |
| Yes, Aiwaz. | |
| Nothing could stop me. | |
| I made my first move, | |
| And I was victorious. | |
| Yes, Aiwaz. | |
| I sat bathing in my glory. | |
| Aiwaz, | |
| I was. | |
| The next move was to be difficult, | |
| But I was determined to succeed. | |
| Yes, Aiwaz. | |
| I gathered my resources. | |
| I was plotting my coming victory. | |
| Yes, Aiwaz. | |
| My preparations piled high, | |
| I was fighting to the Death. | |
| Yes, Aiwaz. | |
| Aiwaz, | |
| I only knew victory, | |
| And I was granted it. | |
| My crowning glory shone forth. | |
| I was brighter than the Dog's star. | |
| Yes, Aiwaz. | |
| Victory was to be so easy now. | |
| I was to have it all. | |
| Yes Aiwaz. | |
| One veiled obstacle remained: | |
| A single figure clad in blue. | |
| I was determined. | |
| I swept aside the veil, | |
| And I was met by a flame of cold. | |
| Aiwaz? | |
| My defenses crumbled into dust. | |
| I lost all that I had, | |
| And I was defeated. | |
| But I worked so hard! | |
| I was to be victorious! | |
| Aiwaz, was I? | |
| Nothing lay around me, | |
| But abomination and desolation. | |
| Aiwaz. | |
| Were my victories all apparitions? | |
| What was I without victory? | |
| Aiwaz? | |
| I had nothing. | |
| I was nothing. | |
| Aiwaz! | |
| I had everything. | |
| I was everything. | |
| Aiwaz victorious! | |
| Aiwaz. | |
| I am. | |
| I Will. |
| 5169 1/4 Fountain Avenue, Los Angeles, 29, California.
June 30, 1954 | ||
| Dear Karl:
Copy of Cameron's last letter to me is enclosed. Reference to I Ching: She asked me to throw the sticks for her -- this over the phone. I do not permit an inquirer to tell me the question -- I feel much freerer. There seemed to be an urgency, so I typed it immediately, and posted it to her. I learned afterward that it had to do with her new art unfoldment, done on parchment, and which seems to have put her over -- to some extent at least. She is being talked about, etc., but I have not yet seen these paintings, which is rather annoying and disappointing. She gave me good news: "Jane, my Messianic Drive is over -- finished!" About two years ago, at Cameron's request, Estai endorsed a copy of Liber AL to Renee Loomer, and one to LeRoy ...... I now learn that LeRoy has organised Voo Doo Ceremonies in Pasadena and Los Angeles. His photograph shows a fine upstanding negro, with power and personality. Did A.C. ever do anything about "the obeah and the wanga"? Those are Voo Doo terms. But LeRoy would never come to see me. Cameron Renee and Paul Andre (her partner) have a growing group, so Paul told me. I was so stupid I did not ask about it; but I shall have a chance later on. Cameron again. I have let her alone, for the most part, as she always phones or calls when in deep trouble, or in need of talking it out with some one. When here two weeks ago she told me the past year has been hideous -- that her two selves were in conflict -- that she was insane for a time -- she always carried the means of suicide -- but now thinks she has faced the lurking fears. Out of this chaos came an art expression which she has sought for years, and it is in art she is to express herself. Phyllis. You gave me a Commentary on Liber VII some years ago, asking me not to show it to anyone. Is Phyllis now entitled to read it? Monty is not in any position to work on Qabalah, etc., at present. Desperate about money, some of his Mexican friends plotted out a section of L.A. (East) through which to canvas for insurance (Life). This he will do every evening. It is thought he can make $50 a week after he learns the techniques. His debts are troubling him mightily -- money his sister loaned him, a Bank in Beverly Hills, his daughter's support -- the wife maintains herself. Louis had supper with us two nights ago, he was full of talk about this and that, but after he had gone I realized I had not heard anything about the remaining books!! The fool's cap and corner for me.
| ||
| 1203 Inchon Avenue. Barstow, California
July 1, 1955 | ||
| Dear Karl; Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. A.C.'s letter to Jack. My recollection -- which I feel is correct -- is that Jack was to work in secret. Also that the Working, and the Result, were not to be told anyone -- Jack himself to put it out of his mind when finished. Whether Jack followed the instructions at first, Ron Hubbard later became an assistant. Hence my shock on receiving Jack's report. I do hope that Report turns up! You have seen Jack's pencilled Liber 49 (now in your possession). Did Ron Hubbard have aught to do with the typed Liber 49, Ron eliminating many superfluous words? Did A.C. think Jack capable of such work? Or was Jack capable but being tested for the Four Powers of the Sphinx. By the way, I was told (by whom? Culling?) that Ron Hubbard had some powers. For instance. That he nailed W.T.S. to a board? a cross? There he stayed till Jack could no longer tolerate Smith's pleadings to be released. Ron then let him loose. Hubbard was a successful contributor to "Weird Stories" Magazine. Ero, Jean and I leave early Saturday a.m. for L.A. They return the 4th.
| ||
| 1203 Inchon Ave. Barstow, California.
August 13th, 1955. | ||
| Dear Karl: Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Cameron will not get to Mexico at the time she stated, July 26. She came to the Burlingames to see me the 3rd of August, and then stated she was to go the following Tuesday. She also told me somewhat of Muir. He is divorced and has with him 3 children of that marriage. In the group destined for Mexico are Muir, a second wife(?) and their three children, Cameron and the three children above mentioned. These three Cameron cares for; she also keeps conversation going, when needed. This discipline is a strain, but she feels there is something waiting for her in Mexico -- possibly a thought to keep up her spirits?? -- something she wants but fears. Also, she is without a home and has worn out her welcome now here, now there. No letter from Mexico as yet. This from Cameron. Anger is in Majorica, for 3 years; no pictures during this period; no people other than those of his present line of thought, one of which is a group of people named "The Circle of Saturn", of Germany. Anger wrote C. at the time of the "Pleasure Dome" experiments in London, but she did not answer him. But told me she now will write him. At no time did she write Kenneth Grant -- her "instinct" prevented it. I feel Cameron will go ahead or fall off her perch. She is hard pressed and looked worn and thin when I saw her. Jean has written re Meeka and Louis, so I add the remark of Phyllis. "Saw Mica and Louis and was amused and annoyed. Louis still dangerous to our best interests. He is always the monkey on the lookout for the cat's paw, and unprincipled." Cameron is pressed for money, yet refused the program. Meeka bragged about the money one could get on T.V. Smith refused. She and Louis were quite melodramatic -- especially Meeka -- who stood out front watching the actress rant and rave, preening herself on her ability and beauty. But then, sincerity is not in either one. I was glad to hear Coates, the Confidential columnist, tell the audience, the Ritual was a hodge-podge, but even so could do some damage to some people. I was surprised to hear him say there are 40 groups in L.A. who practice witchcraft and sorcery. But on thought, there are Mexicans interested in some such thing, and the negro vodoo. Cameron says that is practised in L.A.
Love, | ||
| Vortex spinning seeds of change | |
| Blinding light and icy rage | |
| Towers crackle in the fire | |
| Jump the wind whirling higher . . . | |
BW asked about negative spirits and depression a friend experienced.
MP wanted to know if Magick was without limits, particularly in regard to time travel.
WJ remarked the similarity of sex and prayer.

| 1/5/97 | Gnostic Mass 7:30PM Horus Temple | Thelema Ldg. | ||
| 1/8/97 | New Moon in Capricornus 8:26 PM | Thelema Ldg. | ||
| 1/12/97 | Thelema Lodge Luncheon Meeting 12:30 | Thelema Ldg. | ||
| 1/12/97 | Gnostic Mass 7:30PM Horus Temple | Thelema Ldg. | ||
| 1/13/97 | The Law is for ALL reading and discussion, Library, 7:30PM | Thelema Ldg. | ||
| 1/15/97 | Thelema Lodge Library night 8PM (call to attend) | Thelema Ldg. | ||
| 1/18/97 | OTO initiations. Call to attend | Thelema Ldg. | ||
| 1/19/97 | Sol into Aquarius 4:43 PM | Thelema Ldg. | ||
| 1/19/97 | Gnostic Mass 7:30PM Horus Temple | Thelema Ldg. | ||
| 1/20/97 | Section 2 reading w/Caitlin at OZ Balzac's The Magic Skin, 8PM | Thelema Ldg. | ||
| 1/22/97 | Tarot with Bill Heidrick, 7:30 PM in San Anselmo at 5 Suffield Ave. | Thelema Ldg. | ||
| 1/23/97 | Full Moon in Leo 7:11 AM | Thelema Ldg. | ||
| 1/26/97 | Gnostic Mass 7:30PM Horus Temple | Thelema Ldg. | ||
| 1/27/97 | Sirius Oasis meeting 8PM Berkeley | Sirius Oasis | ||
| 1/28/97 | Thelema Lodge Library night 8PM (call to attend) | Thelema Ldg. | ||
| 1/31/97 | "The Houses in Astrology" workshop with Grace in Berkeley 7 PM | Thelema Ldg. |
Thelema Lodge
Ordo Templi Orientis
P.O. Box 2303
Berkeley, CA 94702 USA
Phone: (510) 652-3171 (for events info and contact to Lodge)
Production and Circulation:
OTO-TLC
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