The Road to the Sun -- Heidrick
The Road to the Sun:
A Record of Self Initiation to Tipheret
by Bill Heidrick
All rights reserved by the author © 1989
| "How fair and how pleasant art thou, o love, for
This thy stature is like to a palm tree,
And thy breasts to clusters of grapes.
I said: 'I will climb up into the palm tree,
I will take hold of the branches thereof;
And let thy breasts be as clusters of the vine,
And the smell of thy countenance like apples;
And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine,
That glideth down smoothly for my beloved,
Moving gently the lips of those that are asleep."
--- from The Song of Songs, Which is
Solomon's 7: 7-10
| - -
All things have one beginning and one ending. The end
is the beginning. I was born into this world at 9:10 in the morning on August ninth,
1943 e.v. in Chico California and I have lived many lives since my birth. Some
of these lives have been joyful, some have held the bitter
pain of innocence, some have been blind anger, some have
been filled with the softness of love. I have learned to
hate. In hate I could find no one to hate but myself. The
hate was great enough to teach love. The love was small
enough to banish hate forever. Now love grows inexorably
toward Chesed and that which is beyond all loves and hates,
yet ever in love and ever the object of hate. No end and no
beginning, yet the semblance of both. Drink deeply in these
reflections and know yourself in me. We are one, you and I;
and in our oneness we may transcend all and reach the great
silence that is somehow everything and nothing. A truth so
obvious may be a secret forever.
Let us make an oath never to deceive or willfully hide
growing thoughts from one another. There are many secret
lodges hiding in their secret thoughts. To know the tale
and tell it not is death, and such lodges always die with
their makers. True secrets keep themselves until gentle
wooing brings them as lovers to our souls. There is no
master of such mysteries save the master of the inmost self.
Let us share this pledge, brothers and sisters: that light
which comes to each of us let us share with any who are open
There is no jealous god or scheming devil to torment
such as we. There are mysteries of great beauty behind
these dull and grotesque masks. These masks have been made
by half enlightened men who refuse to trod the next step on
the way. They remain as bleached and grinning skulls to
frighten children into false and stiffening maturity. There
is no pain of evil and no sin save by clandestine agreement
between half asleep self deceivers. There is no truth but
only Truth. That truth we tend to all our lives.
Enlightenment is not knowledge of truth; it is steady and
continuing growth toward timelessness and perfection beyond
the current perfection.
Let us bind ourselves in one more oath. Say anything,
even judgments of one another; but let the judgments be soft
words forgotten by the speaker as they are spoken. Let us
not compare spiritual progress. Let us share our acts and
joys, our sorrows and our yearnings; but let no one say: "My
state is better than another's." Neither shall anyone say:
"I lack the perfections of my brother." This is folly of
the lowly sort. Let us partake of the folly of light and
make no hateful comparisons. No one can truly know who
stands higher and who lower beneath the open Eye of God. In
matters of this world there are necessary comparisons to be
made, but these mean nothing in the Great Work.
Still, such experiments and searches as we make may aid others to know themselves. Let us share such when we can.
Our Order is a great one which has no bounds or rulers. It
is the order of Beings and we are of the lodge of Humanity.
There is no higher order and no more rightful lodge.
These are my experiments with the way called Tree of
The tenth Sephiroth.
Shortly after my birth, my parents gave me the name I
bear in this world. This name is my name of Malkut:
William Emmet Heidrick. Through many cycles of experience I
have kept this name and used it in this world. My friends
have given me other names; enemies have sometimes done the
same. All these are names of Malkut, and all have magical
power to raise or lower the powers of this world. My birth
name binds me to the laws of this place and enables me to
act through this society. My nicknames are a union with
others in this place through love. The names called down
upon my head are a reminder of work to be done in this
From birth to now I have dwelt in Malkut. Birth is
initiation into Malkut. Death is severance from Malkut. I
will be in Malkut until death takes me elsewhere,. That
other place will be another experience of Malkut. This does
not mean that I will never reach beyond Malkut. I exist in
all ten levels of the Tree of Life always. The thing we
call consciousness of self may flit about in any of these
places. When that consciousness grows slowly from the least
toward the highest, never relinquishing touch with the least
nor abandoning the quest for the highest, the Tree of Life
I first became aware of this climbing in April of 1970
e.v. The tale of my life before that time is too long to
tell in this place, but I came to write in my diary:
My religion is not Christian or Buddhist or any of those.
It is not written down in a book or spoken by a leader. My
religion is written in all the writings of men. It is
spoken in all the words of men and in the utterances of
beasts and the wind through trees and past the corners of
buildings. It is felt in the texture of the manifestations
of the Universal Being, whatever and wherever they may be.
To me, truly, God is Being.
This was my consciousness then and it is still my
consciousness now. It has grown in depth and in conviction
without fundamental change.
What occurred in April of that year was a dream, a dream to move me on the path of Taw, the thirty-second path
which goes from Malkut of the physical world to Yesod of the
dreaming mind. This dream is too long to give here in its
entirety, but these excerpts from my diary of 4/17/70 e.v.
will show something of it.
I was in this world and I knew of another. A friend
had disappeared into that other world. I followed and met a
sort of nomadic tribe. The tribe was part of a race which
was dominated by another race (like the Well of the Worlds,
by Kuttner or an episode of Star Trek which I remember) ...
The elder of the Tribe rested me and applied a thin snake to
my joints, saying that the bite of the snake would help, not
hurt. I then seemed to see myself playing like a sort of
quadruped animal with two members of the Tribe.
...we rode in old cars, and seemed to fear discovery.
When the caravan reached the place of access to the caverns
of the city of the master race, all the cars were concealed
in a deep, overgrown ditch by the road. I lifted the car I
was in ... into the ditch alone, and I wondered at my
strength. ... Some of us went to a mound of rock which
concealed the elevator to the city. ... With a single Tribe
member, I entered the elevator. On the back of the elevator
was a complex set of directions, a set of control buttons of
some sort, an oblong color television screen and a small
window which displayed, one at a time, very imperative
questions. I started to read the directions, but gave up.
I pushed a button and the elevator must have started. The
TV began to show guerrilla warfare scenes and the window
started to ask questions; I ignored both ... .
The elevator stopped and opened. My companion got out,
but I saw another elevator which I knew went on from where
this one left off. I held the door to the second elevator
open and asked whether we should go there or into the
passage just to the left. My companion said nothing, so I
let the door close and led the way down the passage. I
stepped out into a wider transept just as some uninformed
men in orange braid on brown uniforms ... were walking by
(This shows a tendency to drift off the path of Taw and take
the path of Shin between Malkut and Hod. Brown applies to
Malkut and orange to Hod. The regimentation of the men is
fitting for the rational path of Shin.) .. The men passed
and we went up another passage into a sort of foyer. A
dignified couple fell on some wide steps and I helped ...
them up ... . We seemed to be on the highest level of a
city of towers and gardens. There was a clear blue sky
despite being underground. I walked around a bit ... up a
short flight of stairs and onto a sort of open veranda. I
passed a planted oval which had what looked like a low, ...
old gray gnarled tree almost hidden in green foliage. I
came to a second oval much like the first, but its tree had
a longer broken limb which seemed to be more like the arm of
an octopus. I had a vision of the limb seizing and crushing
the head of my companion. I struck the limb on its broken
end, but it did not give -- my hand hurt slightly. I then
seized the end of the limb in one hand and crushed it like a
piece of rotten wood. Two large pieces fell to the veranda.
As I turned to walk away, I heard a voice say very clearly; "take the flesh of the diamond tree with you -- it's food --
it has no bones." ...
There is much more, but that's enough to get the idea.
When I dreamed that dream, I had little knowledge of the
Tree of Life diagram, yet the dream can be interpreted down
to the last detail in terms of that diagram. It is not a
difficult thing to do once the diagram is well enough
understood; this dream fits easily.
I continued to grow slowly and experienced many other
things of this sort and some things more bazaar.
In September of that same year, I made a study of the
"Ritual of the Lesser Pentagram" from the writings of people
who where associated in one way or another with the Order of
the Golden Dawn, an occult organization founded in the
1880's. The Order of the Golden Dawn has fallen into ruin,
and emerged again. Its teachings and its off-shoots involve
the most active and workable areas of modern occultism.
Aleister Crowley, Paul Foster Case, Dion Fortune, Israel
Regardie, and many others derive many of their theories and
practices from this organization. My own efforts are based
upon the efforts of these people.
The Pentagram Ritual was the first formal magical ritual
that I mastered aside from the magical rituals of Roman
Catholicism, my earlier religion. The Ritual of the Lesser
Pentagram trains the mind and body in the essential
practices of ceremonial magick. I have placed a detailed
description of this ritual together with other related
material in an appendix of this book. Anyone who wishes to
repeat my experiments may use the ritual as it appears in
the appendix or refer to several other versions of the
ritual to be found in the books listed there.
The Pentagram Ritual has a dual function. It may be used
to banish or to invoke elemental force. This ritual is
first learned with the banishing pentagram of Earth. Later
the invoking pentagram of Earth and other elemental
pentagrams are introduced. The banishing form of the ritual
is used to obtain freedom from distractions and obsessions
and to prepare for other magical work. The Invoking form of
the ritual is used to obtain elemental force for magick and
meditation. The pentagram of Earth can send people and
things away or bring them near. The Pentagram of Water can
send or summon emotions. The pentagram of Air can send or
summon life. The pentagram of Fire sends or summons
intelligence. In addition to these attributions, other
properties of the elements are associated with these
pentagrams. For instance, the pentagram of fire effects
physical fire as well as the lofty fire of thought. To
learn this ritual and practice it thoroughly is to embark on
the journey of a magician.
The pentagrams also function in relationship to the Tree
of Life. The pentagram of Earth is proper to number 10,
called Malkut or the Kingdom. That of Air is proper to
Yesod, the Foundation, number 9. The pentagram of Water
especially acts in Hod, Splendor, number 8. The Pentagram
of Fire is potent in Netzach, Victory Through Endurance,
number 7. It is fitting to begin with the pentagram of
Earth, owing to its attribution to Malkut and the physical world. The other pentagrams are not easily controlled until
consciousness has been awakened in their respective
Sephiroth (Yesod, dream or fantasy awareness; Hod, rational
or empirical awareness; Netzach, emotional or feeling
I began to practice this ritual in earnest soon after
studying it. My diary records an early experience.
I did the following (2:30 AM to 3:30AM):
One banishing lesser pentagram ritual.
One invoking lesser pentagram ritual.
Meditation at desk.
No clear images, but notable feelings of strong
concentration. Much vision of flaming clouds, vapors, etc.
when eyes were opened. General tendency of motion upward in
these clouds with a rate of about one to one and a half
inches per second. Seemed to come from a region before me
and from my hands -- also solar plexus.
General after effects: improved vision, etc. Did try
to return Astral Body to physical one -- caused rapid
awakening to physical plane. No clear separation or
realization of Astral Body noted.
Later that same day, I indulged in this bit of
philosophy, perhaps partly because of the effects of the
He who speaks too early of the world as "Maya" or
illusion should be more careful. The entire world of the
senses is often a sort of illusion; but, not because of
that, nonexistent. If I walk in front of a fast moving car,
something will indeed happen to me. A fly doubtless doesn't
see or perceive the impact of a fly swatter in the same way
a man perceives the impact of a car, but the result is in
both cases death. No matter where your soul is, unless it
can build up a body from scratch, you have no more chance
with that car than a fly has with a fly swatter.
Doubtless death is not the simple thing it seems to be
on the physical plane, but that doesn't make it nonexistent.
A hurt hurts and a pain pains regardless of how or even
whether or not it is noticed. The appearance is illusion,
but there is a face behind each mask. It is the purpose of
the mystic and the seeker after knowledge to unmask the many
faces of reality, not to deny that there is some reality
connected with what is seen.
By the simple process of continued stripping of one
mask after another, a point is eventually reached where all
faces seem to be the same; or there seems to be no face at
all. The latter is rooted in that greatest of follies, the
denial of one's own existence. The former is material for
pleasure or meditation, but signals the need for a new
beginning and a new unmasking rather than the end of
One must not forget that the experience of the Oneness
of the All is often only a denial of the Difference of the
Many, and not anything more or less than that. It is a
mental action in the first instance, not an observation.
All this is quite a different thing from that state of
meditation which transcends unity and difference and
experiences all things in all places at one time.
I have come to realize that such philosophical bits and pieces come from some higher mental state. They are
communications, not speculations. Some part of myself knows
something and takes any means open to it to communicate that
something to the rest of me. These communications may come
in dreams, physical happenings or, as here, philosophizings.
After the passage of much time, the character of these
communications has changed. I find myself writing
instructions to myself without being fully aware of the act
or of the intent. Messages of this sort have been described
as specimens of the "Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy
Guardian Angel." Others have spoken of such things as these
when they referred to the "Star Demon within man." The
philosophical message just recounted helped fill a need to
understand Malkut in its relationship to other states of
Two more dreams will illustrate early experiences of the
path from Malkut to Yesod.
Last night I dreamed of assisting my mother at a
birth. The baby caused no pain and could rest in the palm
of my hand. This seems to represent the common child of the
Shechinah and my paternal soul. The conjunctive birth is of
a new soul and may represent the Neshamah. This follows the
days of my preparing the study of the Tarot. Earlier in the
same dream, or in one just before it, I saw myself sitting
with my father and mother before a fire in which burned
three pieces of wood. One of the sticks hissed dangerously
and the sound of hissing began increasing. It was said that
the stick must be taken out to protect those who were in the
room. After a few seconds my mother removed the stick and
tossed it out the front door and into the drive-way. The
burning stick then exploded with a great detonation, radial
shower of sparks, and extremely bright illumination. The
stick had come from the left in the fire.
This dream contained a clue to my difficulties in
advancing, a clue that I overlooked to great disadvantage
for several years. I had allowed too much attention to
those things represented by the left-hand side of the Tree
of Life (the side of reason and order). This caused a
serious imbalance toward the rational in my thoughts and
behavior. Reason is not all. To reason exclusively is to
cut away the heart of things. Reason is a fire that burns
all to ash. Emotion is a great sea that drowns all else.
Better to blend both than to die by fire or by water. This
I have learned through much inner torment. That torment is
illustrated by the Tarot Key of the Tower and by the path of
(path number 27) between Hod and Netzach on the Tree of
I'm getting a bit ahead of my story, these realizations
were not fully felt until much later. Here's the other
dream. It illustrates a function of the Pentagram ritual.
Last night I dreamed of a visitation.
I went to bed after a banishing pentagram ritual.
At a point some few minutes after lying down, and
after I had expressed a wish to experience a dream of
Tipheret, I suddenly sensed a face looking over my shoulder.
The impression of a person being present was very distinct
and slightly disturbing. I turned, as one does, and saw
nothing (the face seemed to come from the North, over my
back and left side, near my shoulder.). I mused that the
impression must be like that experience typically when one
gets results in an experiment of evocation. Some time later
I fell asleep.
The hours of sleep wore on and I came to dream. I
dreamed of a stern woman with dark hair and of a height not
notably inferior to my own. She seemed to stand close
before me. I stood also. There was an impression of
menace. I fumbled in my dream through some of the ritual of
the Pentagram before her, and she receded very slightly. I
carefully and quickly traced the Pentagram of before
the woman and spoke the names of the four letters. ...
slight recession of the image. I then willed the image to
dissolve (as suggested in Israel Regardie's Golden Dawn for
this ritual). With some considerable effort, the figure
dissolved. I later awoke in some emotional distress.
Here is another communication of the philosophical sort:
People act magically when they act in awareness of the
unity of the Universe and Self. When one so acts, he
appears "more real" to himself and to others -- especially
to those to whom he speaks without concealment.
Both Christ and Hitler seem to have been intensely
magical people in this last sense.
When one is chiefly aware of means which others
consider in their hearts to be good, others think him good.
When one is chiefly aware of means which others
consider in their hearts to be evil or wrong, others think
him evil or wrong.
When one thinks of most of his means as good but
others do not, he should act with caution and inspect
others' motives and means.
When one thinks of most of his means as evil or wrong
he is insane. He should seek help or kill himself. He
should try for many years with many people to help himself
before the second method of correction be employed. He
should be especially careful of exaggeration as to the evils
of some few of his means.
He who thinks of most of his means as good is
He who thinks of most of his means as evil is
He who does not understand that some of his means are
good and some are evil is God, the Fool. He has transcended
sanity; and, although the term "Unsane" is better, most
would think him mad. Such a one is not he who "Proves" his
indifference to good and evil by wanton murder.
These musings aided me to settle in my mind some
questions concerning right and wrong.
We now jump some months ahead and take up another dream.
This one continues the exploration of the path between
Malkut and Yesod with some complex variations.
I am returning home after a pleasant interlude with
friends and family. Coming up the back way, we enter the
yard via the gate near the garage, in the boardwall. The
garden and back yard are over-run with dangerous animals. I
see a lion (or other large tawny cat), a black panther, and
other beasts including dogs. There are unruly people with
the animals (circus roustabouts?). I try to send these
beings away, but to no avail. I enter the house by the back
door, taking with me a friend. Inside the house, intending
to restore control, I tell my friend to come with me to
"communications central" -- which seems to be a sort of
over-world in which I have absolute power. The house is
vast, out of all proportion to reality. We enter a room in
which are stacked lockers. I pull one aside, and we enter
the space beyond. A room filled with business machines or
card punches is beyond our position. No one is within. I
do something, or will something. The walls of the room
suddenly are made of close fitting bricks, moving downward,
as we are moving upward (yet there is an impression of the
house having no upper floor). The motion stops and we walk
out to a path paved in curiously colored and luminous
flagstones (curving slightly, with the colored stones all in
one small section). There is an entrance procedure. I
press certain flagstones to identify both my friend and
myself. This done, we pass within. The inner world is very
bright, clean, neat, industrious and busy. Many people are
pursuing many tasks. In spite of the elevator going up, the
entire place seems to be in some vast space under the
surface. Suddenly one of the unruly people comes up behind
us. He has followed from the surface despite the
safeguards. I condemn him to be removed and turn away. He
utters words of hopeless protest and fear, but I will see
him in that place no more.
I and my friend wander about. The place doesn't seem
quite the com. center I was looking for. We walk a bit and
enter a dress shop. There are two full length mirror-doors
within. I open one to show that it contains only cast-off
rags, etc. I tell my silent friend to open the second,
knowing that it is a door to a hidden place. He (the
friend) does nothing. I open the door and we enter a sort
of machine chamber in which lies a great blob of machinery.
It is shaped like a human heart lying on its side, with the
big end near us and the smaller end farther to the right.
At the far right stands a workman. There is a steady but
thin discharge of electricity about six feet or so long,
coming from the left and striking an electrode on the upper
left part of the machine. I wish to go past to the smaller
end and beyond, but the spark of electricity is too close to
the path. After a brief pause, a midget with large elfin
ears comes in via the mirror door, passes us, and walks up
toward the smaller end of the machine. He is too short to
fear the spark.
This dream symbolically repeats warnings about being too
rational and being too restrictive. The dream is also prophetic. I am now surrounded by the "disorderly people"
that I repudiated in the dream. These have become my
brothers and sisters instead of the undesirables in the
dream, while the animals have turned up as pet cats. This
dream told me to change my standards and to realize that I
had been wrong to deny the better part of my life. I could
not progress until I became one of these "freaks" and
accepted that they were not freaks at all. This realization
took months to reach consciously, but I began to move toward
it at once.
I continued to study things occult:
Some notes on Keys 0, 1 and 2 of the Tarot (BOTA
When coloring these Keys, the most difficult and
time consuming (therefore most obstructing) parts are those
having the greatest complexity of small detail in
2--The outer garb of the Fool.
3--The framing rose arbor of the Magician.
1--The temple curtain of the High Priestess.
The following ideas are thereby suggested:
1--The crowning fault of mercy is the allowance of
interfering states to get as close as they wish.
2--The crowning fault of severity is to hold
interference off by main strength.
3--The crowning fault of balance is to view
interference as a distinct and simple obstruction.
These faults are countered thusly:
1. Ignore the interference.
2. Rend the interference to shreds.
3. Find truth in the sphere of interference.
As a single course of action:
3. Perceive interference.
2. Conquer interference.
1. Forget interference.
Here's another diary entry about Tarot, dated 2/13/71:
The Magician stands tall and firm in his garden. Lo, a
change! The Red Robe falls to the garden floor. It moves,
changes, becomes a Great Red Lion. The roses below entwine
with the Kundalini serpent and chain the man and the beast.
The roses are as twelve passions to master the rage of the
Lion. White lilies, are you teeth? Are you claws, O'h
elementals? But the Man is Woman as his inner humility
makes humble the Raging Beast. And the garden that hung
above descends to crown the Woman within. The Jaws of roses
and Lilies have closed to open the Jaws of the Beast." ---
the cards of the Magician and Strength.
This next speculation comes from the same entry in my
diary. It relates the three mother letters of the Hebrew
Alphabet to the Major cards of the Tarot. These three mother letters are:
Aleph, , corresponding to the element Air.
Mem, , corresponding to the element Water.
Shin, , corresponding to the element Fire.
These speculations were made using the BOTA deck.
"More on the Three Mothers:
0. The Fool is crowned by Air (his head in the clouds of
heaven) --- Aleph, .
His center is water (where is Kundalini?) --- Mem, .
Beneath him and about his legs burns fire (He stands
on Kundalini!) --- Shin, .
1. The Magician's Head swims in the waters (can this be
--- the great sea elevated?) --- Mem, .
His body burns with fire (Kundalini is rampant and
about him) --- Shin, .
At his feet the air lingers to receive his fiery blast
and lilies await) --- Aleph, .
2. High Priestess with her flaming crown (fire among
pommegranets) --- Shin, .
Air stirs about her waist (holding many secrets) ---
Waters flow from her hem (conscious life-stream pours)
--- Mem, .
3. Empress, Air stirs in thee to bear thy seeds to the
harvest --- Aleph, .
4. Emperor, Water finds its channel by thy will --- Mem,
5. Hierophant, Fire comes forth from thy words --- Shin,
6. Lovers, Water flows from on high through you in two
does not one seek union with the other? --- Mem, .
7. Chariot, Fire burns brightly as thy conquering force
--- Shin, .
8. Strength, passive Air is made so by conjoined woman
beast --- Aleph, .
9. Hermit, bright burns thy lamp to show the way (triple-
Fire in lamp, staff and man) --- Shin, .
10. Wheel of Fortune, spin in Air, crossed by the four
quarters --- Aleph, .
11. Justice, let Waters of harmony balance thee --- Mem,
12. Hanged Man, you are suspended by the cross of the
world in the Air
of sanctity --- Aleph, .
13. Death, you trouble the Waters with your reaping ---
14. Temperance, you are so harmonious that you are a three-tongued
flame of Fire --- Shin, .
15. Devil, you are the darkness upon the waters --- Mem,
16. Tower, you reach too high from too poor a foundation
destroying Fire --- Shin, .
17. Star, you embody Air --- Aleph, .
18. Moon, your Fire is borrowed --- Shin, .
19. Sun, your children dance in Air --- Aleph, .
20. Judgment, your sounding parts the Waters --- Mem, .
21. World --- Earth made up of Air, Water and Fire --
Aleph, Mem and Shin, .
These attributions of the three Mother Letters and
corresponding elements to the twenty-two major cards of the
Tarot can be used to study the Tree of Life. In this
method; the Fool corresponds to number one, Keter, the
Crown. The Magician corresponds to Chokmah, number two,
Wisdom. The High Priestess corresponds to Binah, number
three, Understanding. The Empress, Emperor and Hierophant
correspond to Tipheret, Beauty, number 6 (this is Tipheret
raised to the place of Da'at, see Appendix A of this book).
The Lovers, the Chariot and Strength correspond to Chesed,
Mercy and number four. The Hermit, Wheel of Fortune and
Justice correspond to Geburah, Severity and the number five.
The Hanged Man, Death and Temperance correspond to Yesod,
the Foundation, number nine (raised to the place of
Tipheret). The Devil, the Tower and the Star correspond to
Netzach, Victory and number seven on the Tree of Life. The
Moon, Sun and Judgment correspond to Malkut raised to the
place of Yesod.
All this is rather technical, but study will bear
fruit. The more usual attribution of these cards is to the
paths connecting the ten Sephiroth, rather than to the
Sephiroth themselves. The usual attribution is taken from
the occult system of the Order of the Golden Dawn and is a
very good thing to study along with the system outlined
Here is the usual attribution:
These matters can best be studied through actual work
with the cards. A BOTA deck of Tarot is best for this sort
of thing. Additional correspondences to the paths and
letters will be found in Appendices A and B.
|Path on Tree:
|11, Keter to Chokmah
|12, Keter to Binah
|13, Keter to Tipheret
|14, Chokmah to Binah
|Emperor (alt: Star)
|15, Chokmah to Tipheret
|16, Chokmah to Chesed
|17, Binah to Tipheret
|18, Binah to Geburah
|19, Chesed to Geburah
|20, Chesed to Tipheret
|Wheel of Fortune
|21, Chesed to Netzach
|22, Geburah to Tipheret
|23, Geburah to Hod
|24, Tipheret to Netzach
|25, Tipheret to Yesod
|26, Tipheret to Hod
|27, Netzach to Hod
|Star (alt: Emperor)
|28, Netzach to Yesod
|29, Netzach to Malkut
|30, Hod to Yesod
|31, Hod to Malkut
|32, Yesod to Malkut
The next development became a very important step in my
growth. Frater Fons Numeris brought to my attention the two
hundred and thirty one gates of the Sepher Yetzirah. Fr.
F.N. and I met at San Francisco State in a class on the
history of 15th century magic. We gradually opened up our
discoveries to one another and began to share experiments in
occultism. This relationship continued until the mid 1970s,
and we lived under the same roof. He and I were brothers in
a way that transcended our differences. Our differences were great, yet each gave to the other an insight that
neither would possess alone. We grew in the strength of our
studies. Our brotherhood was a gift from god to aid us
both. Seek brothers and sisters in your lives. When they
are found, life multiplies its meaning.
The mystery that Frater F. communicated to me was a
simple enough thing in itself, but it led to a series of
meditations that I have continued to this day; meditations
that have meant more to me than any other aid. Much of this
book will consist of extracts from those meditations. For
now, a brief explanation will be made.
The concept of the gates.
|the single letters: 22 fundamental symbols which interrelate according to combinations and various theories (such as numeric reduction).
|the two-letter combinations: 22 duplications of the fundamental (1) symbols and 231 combinations showing simple interrelations between different symbols, taken two at a time.
|the three-letter combinations: 22 duplications of the fundamental (1) symbols, 462 combinations showing an exaggerated (2:1) bias to one of the two letter symbols in a two letter relationship, and 1540 combinations of three different letters, showing 6 interrelationships of which half are of one cycle () and half are of another cycle
|9). ... 21). in like manner.
|the 22 letter combinations: 22 duplications of (1), duplications of (2), bias duplications of (3) -- any combination of three different letters with arbitrary, duplications up to 22 letters in all, ... one combination of all 22 different letters.
As to permutations:
1). none possible.
2). each gate has two forms: or , showing precedence
emanation (involution or evolution.).
3). each triplicity (no duplication) has six forms (,
, , , , ) in two cycles:
the two cycles are often taken as indications of gender:
is of the male cycle and is of the female
cycle. -- Sepher Yetzirah (AMORC ed.), page 26.
The Sepher Yetzirah (page 24) identifies the six
of , , and with "six rings, or elementary circles,
namely, air, water and fire ..." and their two
offspring (the cycles) --- each triplicity with one
three forms (, , ) and only a single
cycle. These reflect the gates of two, with a single
element exaggerated, and the ways of examining the effect
of the exaggeration. --- each triplicity of one letter
incapable of permutation, and is thus a simple
expression of (1).
4) ... 2) in like manner.
22) as before, but now we have reached the level of complete
systems (cube of space, sphere of 22 points; in short,
22-dimensional spaces.) It should be noted that only
sets of all letters identical (equal (1)) are to be
exactly in all 22 scales, or levels, of combinations
permutations. Thus there is no exact counterpart of a
in any of the odd number scales. The form is not
exactly reproducible in the scale of 4: witness as
counterpart of --- there are twenty one others, each
having four factorial = twenty four or 4!/2=12 different
permutations depending on whether at letter has been
(twelve) or not (twenty four)). These permutations may
be viewed as the ordering of elements within a
sphere or sub-universe to produce different effects
The above concepts may be used to order and classify
interrelating elements in any system possessing any number
--- providing that the elements are clearly separable.
In practice, the construction of a system proceeds as
0 The frame beyond understanding.
The frame of the Absolute
The start of the frame of evolutions of
The frames of the evolutions of triplicity, quadruplicity, etc. each compose an infinite sequence in themselves.
Generally the more elements (letters, pigeon holes,
etc.), the easer the classification and the harder the
comprehension of the whole system. The less the number of
elements used, the easier the comprehension of the system as
a whole, but the more difficult the classification or
Thus, the mundane (practical analysis) tends to
prolific systems in terms of the number of symbols; and the
divine (synthetic) tends to reduction of number of symbols.
22 symbols make a nice alphabet whereby almost anything
may be designated by a reasonably short combination of some
or all of the symbols in some distinct order or permutation
Such an alphabet may be generated on a single system
which permits reduction of the complex "words" back to the
simple, inter-symbol relationships. Further reductions run
any word back, in a series of neat, logical steps, to the
synthetic minimal size of the system --- or the minimum
level for meaning of the word.
Basically, such a system must be made intentionally ---
an artificial alphabet and language. Mundane usage tends to
the proliferation of symbols without unification except on
Whether we consider that God or some lesser being
makes and maintains such a system, or that men devised or
synthesized such a system, is of no fundamental importance.
Sanskrit was an artificial language composed on
principles like the above --- although, at this late date,
it may never be known how close the composition followed
these principles. Greek, Hebrew and other isopsephic
languages may be reflections of some very ancient, and
highly artificial language system.
That was quite a complex chunk of information from my
Holy Guardian Angel. Some day I hope to write it up at
greater length and with numerous examples, but this will do
to show one extreme of the kind of information that comes
from contacting inner and higher consciousness. This theory
is behind my meditations, and it may one day come out of my
works as a powerful study of systems of thought. That day
is far in the future. Now I am simply meditating on the 231
different combinations of two Hebrew Letters. When I have
sufficiently mastered these 231 gates of the Sepher
Yetzirah, I will be able to take on the greater job of
digesting and using many other systems. When I can see each
system in each of the others I will be able to write my book
of systems. The reader is not advised to hold his breath
until that comes to pass.
Here's some information about the seven ancient
planets, and what they represent. This is an example of
another type of communication from the inner mind:
................ morbid solemnity.
................ solemnity and solemn joy.
................ sanguine solemnity and joy.
................ moderate solemnity and great joy.
..... .......... immoderate joy.
................ joy and solemnity in the "fey" sense ---
lunacy at extreme.
................ joy and solemnity in balance, always in the sense of rejoicing or of jubilee.
................ all grades compounded.
Of laughter, there are several sorts:
hysteric, .................. to be avoided --- the alarm
in disgust, ................ to be avoided --- a door slammed shut.
depreciative, , , ........ a valid counterweight to
solemnity, tipping it only slightly.
appreciative, , , ....... (Same as depreciative
battle, ................... in heat of deeds --- mark of intense involvement.
loving, ................... in joy of union --- or discovery of union.
spontaneous, .............. hearty and easy --- ease of soul.
mad, ...................... lunacy --- Ophielia's bane.
delighting, ................ from discovery of beauty --- bathing in light.
Of solemnity, there are several sorts:
stunned silence, .......... thoughts frozen --- overload
morbid, ................... death-bound --- the shut door
depreciative, , , ....... as for laughter
appreciative, , , ....... as for laughter
battle, ................... as for laughter
loving, ................... as for laughter
fixed, .................... native to the soul --- natural
pompous, .................. lunacy
delighting, ............... as for laughter.
As may be seen, I deem that laughter and solemnity are
opposites. The one is noisy, the other is quiet. Both are
equally disposed to serious or frivolous exhibition.
Solemnity ponders, laughter prods. Solemnity declares,
laughter shares. Solemnity judges, laughter accepts.
Solemnity goes inward, laughter burst out. Solemnity is
old, laughter is young. Solemnity is female, laughter is
These bits of information came to me at a time when I
needed to understand my cycles of manic-depression. I
learned that there was no need to become alarmed at their
counterchanges. This enabled me to relax and freed me from
being trapped in either state. Happiness and sadness are two flavors in life; they are best mixed. Too much sadness
leads to death. Too much happiness leads to sadness. Yet
there is a place that is beyond both, as daylight is beyond
twilight. To climb the Tree of Life is to seek the place
beyond such changes. Once there, the mind can experience
emotion as a musician experiences music. Some emotions are
to be experienced from the works of others (shared,
actually, a becoming one with others). Some are to be
created and unfolded by oneself.
Sometimes communications take the form of physical
happenings. These can be frightening, but they are acts of
love from the physical world toward the mental one. As such
they sometimes startle and sometimes provoke to laughter,
but they are as the mock-fighting that takes place between
children and adults. Sometimes accidents can happen and
pain results, but the whole is a thing of play between the
universe and oneself. Such magical events can be invited,
with caution. The physical universe means well but can
sometimes be a little too rough. The next excerpt from my
diary illustrates a very mild bit of rough play.
I made my first trial of Case's method of divination.
Among other things, I learned of some psychic manifestations
to come, of the spiritualistic sort.
This afternoon I sat at my desk pondering matters. I
was considering the gematria for the "Secret" word of the
Briatic world. Thinking that the word was either or ,
I was dismayed to realize that the reduced total was not
right (ok for = 60 + 3 = 9 by reduction, but this didn't
agree with my previous work ... I later discovered that I
had read for earlier). As I pondered this matter, the
hanger of my Tree of Life chart broke and sent the framed
chart crashing to the floor. The cover glass was cracked
across. The crack started on the path of (between Chokmah
and Chesed) and ended in that of (between Hod and Malkut).
= 9 (by reduction). This is the same spelling that I had
substituted for Mathers' expression earlier, and had
forgotten. I conclude that the true Briatic name is , but
that may be a male alternative to a female proper.
That sort of happening, in which a physical event will
occur that matches a current thought, is one form of the
kind of play that the physical world has with the mental.
There are many other types of experience that bridge the gap
from matter to mind. A very strange one follows:
Sometime in 1970, perhaps in the last quarter of that
year, I performed an experiment in old-style ceremonial
magic. This was the summoning of a "devil" by the practice
of Goetic magic. Perhaps this was unwise in that it
endangered a human life --- without intention, but the
danger seemed real enough. The whole experience is quite a
thing to remember. I knew what I was doing in theory and
was safe because of that. The fellow who suggested the
thing in the first place didn't know what he was in for, and
he suffered some rather drastic psycho-physical changes as a
result. The books I used were not very reliable, the
methods incomplete and myself not sufficiently trained to
perform the full evocation. None-the-less, some results were obtained; too many and too much for my accomplice. I
could say that the fellow had it coming, but I should have
been more careful to see if he knew his business. The whole
thing would have gone well enough if he hadn't ignored the
simplest of precautions. Be that as it may, I will first
express my own understanding of this sort of Goetic practice
and then narrate the episode.
There are many dark and destructive impulses in the
depths of the human mind. Such impulses can dominate the
consciousness and can penetrate a whole personality. When
the personality is ruled by such downward tending impulses,
the person is insane and may be said to be "possessed by a
demon or devil." This "possession" is actually a
psychological state and not a seizing of the mind by some
external being. The effect often is such that there seems
to be a distinct and evil personality in control of an
otherwise normal mind. This effect has let people to assume
that such things as demons and devils can push out the
rightful dweller in a human body. Such demons and devils
are actually personified impulses and thoughts of an
incomplete and destructive nature. When this sort of demon
is properly summoned into manifestation, one of these
thoughts is given a limited and definite place to exist for
a limited and definite time. The thought is given form in
the imagination, sometimes hallucinated as a separate
physical being, and dealt with conversationally. By this
rather strange means, it is often possible to objectively
consider and master defects and weaknesses of the spirit.
Great care must be taken to limit the actions of the demon
so that "possession" or obsession does not occur. There are
elaborate symbolic actions and settings involved with the
formal ritual evocation of such demons. When these practices
are followed, the rules must be carefully observed. Perhaps
there are such things as separately existing demons, devils
and angels; but, if they do exist independently from the
minds of those who deal with them, that existence is a very
special one. Such astral beings are pure spirit and cannot
effect matter without the aid of something that is partly
spirit and partly matter. The human being is both spirit
and matter and can act as a go-between for such beings and
the physical world. The only way a pure spirit can contact
a human being is through the mind of that human. This takes
place only when there is some thought in that human mind
which resembles the nature of the pure spirit. Such spirits
are nothing more or less than thoughts, self-existent
thoughts perhaps, but thoughts and nothing more. For
example, to summon a demon of concupiscence it is first
necessary to have a concupiscent thought. That thought may
then be elaborated into a thinking structure much like a
personality. When the structure is complete enough, the
demon of concupiscence is present. Pure spirits have no
proper locations except where they contact a semi-material
being. Such spirits are not subject in themselves to time
or division. It may be possible that spirits can persist
after the death of the human responsible for their physical
effects, and this is one explanation behind stories of
ghosts. Such an extended effect is at most a weak thing. A
disembodied spirit would require the aid of other semi-
material minds to remain in the time an space world. A human mind can always undo what a human mind has done. The
dangers from such phenomena stem largely from ignorance and
panic, two of the most terrible demons ever to afflict
humanity. The actual word "demon" may signify a beneficial
spirit as well as a harmful one. The "Personal Demon,"
"Star Demon," "Holy Guardian Angel," "Higher Self," etc. is
the best and most beneficial of these personified thoughts.
Many human minds long for a personal god, not the great
vague thing that is the subject of most organized religion,
but a little god that lives within. Such a god can be
The process of obtaining a personal god is often the
whole aim of a religion. Most major religions are directed
toward people who don't need or want such a thing as a
little, inward god; but many of the mystery, occult and
third world religions are just there to help provide a god
or goddess to those who want to find one. The Qabalists
sometimes call such a god or goddess Shechinah, and theorize
a direct relationship to the Great God. The Shechinah is
traditionally female, but it should perhaps be generalized
as having the opposite sex from the human to whom the
Shechinah is attached. This is a good idea for those who
wish to obtain such an inward god. Personal gods tend to
have sexual characteristics anyway, so it's a good idea to
line up a personal god having sex opposite to your own.
When the god and the human have opposite sexes, life is much
less lonely. When people make love, their little gods make
love. Such a love making is useful for sexual magick.
There isn't any real dividing line between personal gods of
different people. There isn't any real dividing line
between a human being and the personal god of that human
being. People can become one with each other through their
personal gods more fully than in any other way. When
personal gods can relate with oneanother, any human sharing
becomes a loving union.
Back to the demonic evocation.
When C. and I first met, it was over a glass of wine in
C's apartment. He and his wife occupied the apartment over
mine for several months during the years I lived in Oakland.
C's wife was celebrating her birthday, and she had invited
me to the occasion. I had not met her husband before, but
the fact that their bedroom was directly above my own made
for much of an introduction, at least of them to me. Long
nights of words and noises had filtered down, and I formed a
conception about these neighbors. Their life was complex in
matters of love and trust, filled with inconsistencies.
Still, direct impressions often are more trustworthy. I was
pleased to meet C.
C. and I talked a bit about several things until the
conversation gradually shifted toward science fiction and
things occult. C. remarked proudly that he had managed to
get a science fiction story published. We discussed that a
bit; and, when the conversation lagged, I thought to pick it
up with a few remarks about my occult interests. The wine
was pleasant and slightly dulling to wits and judgments.
When I mentioned that I possessed several rituals used in
the Middle Ages and Renaissance for summoning the "Devil,"
C. immediately became alert. He suddenly suggested that we
try one. This startled me; but to save face and owing to the persuasion of the wine, I slowly agreed. It would not
be possible to do a full job of it on such short notice, I
told him; but we could give it a try. I reasoned that the
demons were only facets of the self, and that no possible
harm could come to me through such an experiment. I was
more than half convinced that C. was just playing a rather
nasty joke anyway, not really serious about his suggestion.
That may have been the case at the start, but not at the
finish of the evening. C. got burned, but good! I should
have pressed the point of his motives a bit more closely.
We adjourned to my apartment.
Once in my apartment, I quickly assembled the necessary
props and references. For my ritual I used A.E.Waite's
Black Magic and Pacts (a stupidly blinded book) and Richard
Cavendish's The Black Arts (a useful introduction to many
branches of occultism). I took an old robe with a black
lining and reversed it to become my magical robe. For a
sword, I was better supplied. I had an old masonic sword,
quite elaborate and magical looking. This sword had a short
silver chain attached from guard to pommel. Where the chain
joined the pommel, a small silver ring formed the last link,
This sword and chain shall feature in what follows. There
was a fireplace with wooden mantle in the West wall of the
room. The flue had long ago been closed and an electric
heater filled the entire hearth opening. We placed our half
empty glasses on the mantle and set to work.
I showed C. the preparations and schooled him briefly
in the basics of the ritual. We took up a stand in the
center of the room, facing East. I passed the sword slowly
about us both, defining the magical circle of protection. I
then moved the sword about in the space inside the circle
more or less duplicating the design for a magical circle
shown on page 238 of Cavendish's book. We then went through
the lesser pentagram banishment together and began the
ritual evocation. The conjuration actually used is to be
found on pages 241 and 242 of Waite's book. It runs as
"I, (name of practitioner), do conjure thee, O Spirit
(name of Spirit), by the living God, by the true God, by the
holy and all-ruling God, who created from nothingness the
heaven, the earth, the sea, and all things that are therein,
in virtue of the Most Holy Sacrament of the Eucharist, in
the name of Jesus Christ, and by the power of this same
Almighty Son of God, who for us and for our redemption was
crucified, suffered death, and was buried; who rose again on
the third day, and is now seated on the right hand of the
Creator of the whole world, from whence he will come to
judge the living and the dead; as also by the precious love
of the Holy Spirit, perfect Trinity. I conjure thee within
the circle, (not a wise choice of words, it turned out)
accursed one, by thy judgment, who didst dare to tempt God:
I exorcise thee, Serpent, and I command thee to appear
forthwith under a beautiful and well favored human form of
soul and body, and to fulfill my behests without any deceit
whatsoever, as also without mental reservation of any kind,
by the great Names of the God of gods and Lord of Lords,
ADONAY, TETRAGRAMMATON, JEHOVA, TETRAGRAMMATON, ADONAY,
JEHOVAH, OTHEOS, JEHOVA, OTHEOS, ATHANATOR, 'a Liciat'
TETRAGRAMMATON, SADAY, SADAY, SADAY, ISCHYROS, ATHAMATOR, SADY, SADY, SADY, CADOS, CADOS, CADOS, ELOY, AGLA, AGLA,
AGLA, ADONAY, ADONAY. I conjure thee, Evil and Accursed
Serpent (name of Spirit), to appear at my will and pleasure,
in this place, before this circle, without tarrying, without
companions, without grievance, without noise, deformity, or
murmuring. I exorcise thee by the ineffable names of God,
to wit, Gog and Magog, which I am unworthy to pronounce;
Come hither, Come hither, Come hither. Accomplish my will
and desire, without wile or falsehood. Otherwise
St.Michael, the invisible Archangel, shall presently blast
thee in the utmost depths of hell. Come then, (name of
Spirit), to do my will."
This conjuration is in many ways poorly written. Still
it was enough to waken the inner deeps of the mind of C. In
fact, it produced a few external results.
Immediately after we read the conjuration, a loud and
steady buzzing sound issued from the closed up fireplace
behind us. The sound persisted for several minutes and
resembled the buzzing of a large horse fly trapped behind
the grate. The sound had not been heard in that place
before and it never occurred again. No material cause ever
presented itself, but it is possible that something physical
could have caused it. I chose to interpret this sound as a
warning from the demon Baalzebub, demon "Lord of Flys." The
sound had come from the West while we were facing East.
Even as the East is the direction of the rising Sun, it is
said in Christian mysticism (note that the conjuration used
here was at least partly Christian in form) that Christ
shall come from the East on Judgment day and that the devils
shall fly with the souls of the damned toward the West,
where the Sun sets. Accordingly, I suggested that we should
face the West when summoning devils by this formula. We
faced West and pronounced the following "discharge," also
found in Waite's book, page 243:
"Go in peace unto your places. May there be peace
between us and You, and be ye ready to come when ye are
called. In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of
the Holy Ghost. Amen."
We then resumed our preparations, repeated the
conjuration and sought for results. This procedure was
followed many times during the night and into the early
morning hours. We called in turn upon two "devils," Belial
and Asmoday, and used the information and seals presented by
Waite in Black Magic and Pacts.
On page 175:
"Asmoday, a strong and powerful king, appears with three heads, the first like a bull, the second like a man, and the third like a ram. He has a serpent's tail, the webbed feet of a goose, and he vomits fire. He rides an infernal dragon, carries lance and pennon, and is the chief of the power of Amaymon. He must be invoked bareheaded, for otherwise he will deceive. He gives the ring of virtues, teaches arithmetic, geomancy, and all handicrafts, answers all questions, makes men invisible, indicates the places of concealed treasures and guards them if within the dominion of Amaymon."
On page 187:
"Belial, a mighty king created next after Lucifer, appears in the form of a beautiful angel seated in a chariot of fire, and speaking with a pleasant voice. He fell first amongst the superior angels who went before Michael and other heavenly angels. He distributes preferences of senatorships, causes favors of friends and foes, and gives excellent familiars. He must have offerings and sacrifices made to him.
I now know a great deal about such "devils" that I did
not know then. If I were to call upon them today, it would
be to learn the particular lesson of their corruption. That
information is concealed in the Hebrew spelling of their
names and can be read with some ease. In a later part of
this work, I will show how such information is obtained.
When rightly studied, these demonic names are found to be
formulas of great value. The letters of the names may be
used to analyze the fault personified by the demon and to
learn how to avoid it. The proper use of these demons
involves setting them up as guards against their particular
vice or failing. The things a demon is said to teach are
best mastered through dominating the demon, discovering the
error personified by the demon and becoming free from it.
There are other uses, but they relate to this one.
The forms of the seals are important too, but the poor
state of preservation of such things makes them much more
difficult to analyze.