The Road to the Sun -- Heidrick

The Road to the Sun:

A Record of Self Initiation to Tipheret

by Bill Heidrick

All rights reserved by the author © 1989

"How fair and how pleasant art thou, o love, for delights!
This thy stature is like to a palm tree,
And thy breasts to clusters of grapes.
I said: 'I will climb up into the palm tree,
I will take hold of the branches thereof;
And let thy breasts be as clusters of the vine,
And the smell of thy countenance like apples;
And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine,
That glideth down smoothly for my beloved,
Moving gently the lips of those that are asleep."
--- from The Song of Songs, Which is Solomon's 7: 7-10

Yod-Zain:Zain Mem-finalYodReshYodShinHay ReshYodShin
Mem-finalYodGimelVauNunAyinTawBet HayBetHayAleph TawMemAyinNun-HayMemVau TawYodPehYod-HayMem
TawVauLamedKafShinAlephLamed Kaf-finalYodDaletShinVau ReshMemTawLamed HayTawMemDalet Kaf-finalTawMemVauQof TawAlephVau
VauYodNunSamekhNunSamekhBet HayZainChetAleph ReshMemTawBet HayLamedAyinAleph YodTawReshMemAleph
ChetYodReshVau Nun-finalPehGimelHay TawVauLamedKafShinAlephKaf Kaf-finalYodDaletShin AlephNun-VauYodHayYodVau
Mem-finalYodChetVauPehTawKaf Kaf-finalPehAleph
Mem-finalYodReshShinYodMemLamed YodDaletVauDaletLamed Kaf-finalLamedVauHay BetVauTetHay Nun-finalYodYodKaf Kaf-finalKafChetVau
Mem-finalYodNunShinYod YodTawPehShin BetBetVauDalet


All things have one beginning and one ending. The end is the beginning. I was born into this world at 9:10 in the morning on August ninth, 1943 e.v. in Chico California and I have lived many lives since my birth. Some of these lives have been joyful, some have held the bitter pain of innocence, some have been blind anger, some have been filled with the softness of love. I have learned to hate. In hate I could find no one to hate but myself. The hate was great enough to teach love. The love was small enough to banish hate forever. Now love grows inexorably toward Chesed and that which is beyond all loves and hates, yet ever in love and ever the object of hate. No end and no beginning, yet the semblance of both. Drink deeply in these reflections and know yourself in me. We are one, you and I; and in our oneness we may transcend all and reach the great silence that is somehow everything and nothing. A truth so obvious may be a secret forever.
Let us make an oath never to deceive or willfully hide growing thoughts from one another. There are many secret lodges hiding in their secret thoughts. To know the tale and tell it not is death, and such lodges always die with their makers. True secrets keep themselves until gentle wooing brings them as lovers to our souls. There is no master of such mysteries save the master of the inmost self. Let us share this pledge, brothers and sisters: that light which comes to each of us let us share with any who are open to receive.
There is no jealous god or scheming devil to torment such as we. There are mysteries of great beauty behind these dull and grotesque masks. These masks have been made by half enlightened men who refuse to trod the next step on the way. They remain as bleached and grinning skulls to frighten children into false and stiffening maturity. There is no pain of evil and no sin save by clandestine agreement between half asleep self deceivers. There is no truth but only Truth. That truth we tend to all our lives. Enlightenment is not knowledge of truth; it is steady and continuing growth toward timelessness and perfection beyond the current perfection.
Let us bind ourselves in one more oath. Say anything, even judgments of one another; but let the judgments be soft words forgotten by the speaker as they are spoken. Let us not compare spiritual progress. Let us share our acts and joys, our sorrows and our yearnings; but let no one say: "My state is better than another's." Neither shall anyone say: "I lack the perfections of my brother." This is folly of the lowly sort. Let us partake of the folly of light and make no hateful comparisons. No one can truly know who stands higher and who lower beneath the open Eye of God. In matters of this world there are necessary comparisons to be made, but these mean nothing in the Great Work.
Still, such experiments and searches as we make may aid others to know themselves. Let us share such when we can. Our Order is a great one which has no bounds or rulers. It is the order of Beings and we are of the lodge of Humanity. There is no higher order and no more rightful lodge.

These are my experiments with the way called Tree of Life.


The tenth Sephiroth.

Shortly after my birth, my parents gave me the name I bear in this world. This name is my name of Malkut: William Emmet Heidrick. Through many cycles of experience I have kept this name and used it in this world. My friends have given me other names; enemies have sometimes done the same. All these are names of Malkut, and all have magical power to raise or lower the powers of this world. My birth name binds me to the laws of this place and enables me to act through this society. My nicknames are a union with others in this place through love. The names called down upon my head are a reminder of work to be done in this place.
From birth to now I have dwelt in Malkut. Birth is initiation into Malkut. Death is severance from Malkut. I will be in Malkut until death takes me elsewhere,. That other place will be another experience of Malkut. This does not mean that I will never reach beyond Malkut. I exist in all ten levels of the Tree of Life always. The thing we call consciousness of self may flit about in any of these places. When that consciousness grows slowly from the least toward the highest, never relinquishing touch with the least nor abandoning the quest for the highest, the Tree of Life is climbed.
I first became aware of this climbing in April of 1970 e.v. The tale of my life before that time is too long to tell in this place, but I came to write in my diary:

2/19/70 e.v.

My religion is not Christian or Buddhist or any of those. It is not written down in a book or spoken by a leader. My religion is written in all the writings of men. It is spoken in all the words of men and in the utterances of beasts and the wind through trees and past the corners of buildings. It is felt in the texture of the manifestations of the Universal Being, whatever and wherever they may be. To me, truly, God is Being.
This was my consciousness then and it is still my consciousness now. It has grown in depth and in conviction without fundamental change.
What occurred in April of that year was a dream, a dream to move me on the path of Taw, the thirty-second path which goes from Malkut of the physical world to Yesod of the dreaming mind. This dream is too long to give here in its entirety, but these excerpts from my diary of 4/17/70 e.v. will show something of it.
I was in this world and I knew of another. A friend had disappeared into that other world. I followed and met a sort of nomadic tribe. The tribe was part of a race which was dominated by another race (like the Well of the Worlds, by Kuttner or an episode of Star Trek which I remember) ... The elder of the Tribe rested me and applied a thin snake to my joints, saying that the bite of the snake would help, not hurt. I then seemed to see myself playing like a sort of quadruped animal with two members of the Tribe.
...we rode in old cars, and seemed to fear discovery. When the caravan reached the place of access to the caverns of the city of the master race, all the cars were concealed in a deep, overgrown ditch by the road. I lifted the car I was in ... into the ditch alone, and I wondered at my strength. ... Some of us went to a mound of rock which concealed the elevator to the city. ... With a single Tribe member, I entered the elevator. On the back of the elevator was a complex set of directions, a set of control buttons of some sort, an oblong color television screen and a small window which displayed, one at a time, very imperative questions. I started to read the directions, but gave up. I pushed a button and the elevator must have started. The TV began to show guerrilla warfare scenes and the window started to ask questions; I ignored both ... .
The elevator stopped and opened. My companion got out, but I saw another elevator which I knew went on from where this one left off. I held the door to the second elevator open and asked whether we should go there or into the passage just to the left. My companion said nothing, so I let the door close and led the way down the passage. I stepped out into a wider transept just as some uninformed men in orange braid on brown uniforms ... were walking by (This shows a tendency to drift off the path of Taw and take the path of Shin between Malkut and Hod. Brown applies to Malkut and orange to Hod. The regimentation of the men is fitting for the rational path of Shin.) .. The men passed and we went up another passage into a sort of foyer. A dignified couple fell on some wide steps and I helped ... them up ... . We seemed to be on the highest level of a city of towers and gardens. There was a clear blue sky despite being underground. I walked around a bit ... up a short flight of stairs and onto a sort of open veranda. I passed a planted oval which had what looked like a low, ... old gray gnarled tree almost hidden in green foliage. I came to a second oval much like the first, but its tree had a longer broken limb which seemed to be more like the arm of an octopus. I had a vision of the limb seizing and crushing the head of my companion. I struck the limb on its broken end, but it did not give -- my hand hurt slightly. I then seized the end of the limb in one hand and crushed it like a piece of rotten wood. Two large pieces fell to the veranda. As I turned to walk away, I heard a voice say very clearly; "take the flesh of the diamond tree with you -- it's food -- it has no bones." ...
There is much more, but that's enough to get the idea. When I dreamed that dream, I had little knowledge of the Tree of Life diagram, yet the dream can be interpreted down to the last detail in terms of that diagram. It is not a difficult thing to do once the diagram is well enough understood; this dream fits easily.

I continued to grow slowly and experienced many other things of this sort and some things more bazaar.

In September of that same year, I made a study of the "Ritual of the Lesser Pentagram" from the writings of people who where associated in one way or another with the Order of the Golden Dawn, an occult organization founded in the 1880's. The Order of the Golden Dawn has fallen into ruin, and emerged again. Its teachings and its off-shoots involve the most active and workable areas of modern occultism. Aleister Crowley, Paul Foster Case, Dion Fortune, Israel Regardie, and many others derive many of their theories and practices from this organization. My own efforts are based upon the efforts of these people.
The Pentagram Ritual was the first formal magical ritual that I mastered aside from the magical rituals of Roman Catholicism, my earlier religion. The Ritual of the Lesser Pentagram trains the mind and body in the essential practices of ceremonial magick. I have placed a detailed description of this ritual together with other related material in an appendix of this book. Anyone who wishes to repeat my experiments may use the ritual as it appears in the appendix or refer to several other versions of the ritual to be found in the books listed there.
The Pentagram Ritual has a dual function. It may be used to banish or to invoke elemental force. This ritual is first learned with the banishing pentagram of Earth. Later the invoking pentagram of Earth and other elemental pentagrams are introduced. The banishing form of the ritual is used to obtain freedom from distractions and obsessions and to prepare for other magical work. The Invoking form of the ritual is used to obtain elemental force for magick and meditation. The pentagram of Earth can send people and things away or bring them near. The Pentagram of Water can send or summon emotions. The pentagram of Air can send or summon life. The pentagram of Fire sends or summons intelligence. In addition to these attributions, other properties of the elements are associated with these pentagrams. For instance, the pentagram of fire effects physical fire as well as the lofty fire of thought. To learn this ritual and practice it thoroughly is to embark on the journey of a magician.
The pentagrams also function in relationship to the Tree of Life. The pentagram of Earth is proper to number 10, called Malkut or the Kingdom. That of Air is proper to Yesod, the Foundation, number 9. The pentagram of Water especially acts in Hod, Splendor, number 8. The Pentagram of Fire is potent in Netzach, Victory Through Endurance, number 7. It is fitting to begin with the pentagram of Earth, owing to its attribution to Malkut and the physical world. The other pentagrams are not easily controlled until consciousness has been awakened in their respective Sephiroth (Yesod, dream or fantasy awareness; Hod, rational or empirical awareness; Netzach, emotional or feeling awareness.).
I began to practice this ritual in earnest soon after studying it. My diary records an early experience.

I did the following (2:30 AM to 3:30AM):
One banishing lesser pentagram ritual.
One invoking lesser pentagram ritual.
Meditation at desk.

No clear images, but notable feelings of strong concentration. Much vision of flaming clouds, vapors, etc. when eyes were opened. General tendency of motion upward in these clouds with a rate of about one to one and a half inches per second. Seemed to come from a region before me and from my hands -- also solar plexus.
General after effects: improved vision, etc. Did try to return Astral Body to physical one -- caused rapid awakening to physical plane. No clear separation or realization of Astral Body noted.

Later that same day, I indulged in this bit of philosophy, perhaps partly because of the effects of the ritual:
He who speaks too early of the world as "Maya" or illusion should be more careful. The entire world of the senses is often a sort of illusion; but, not because of that, nonexistent. If I walk in front of a fast moving car, something will indeed happen to me. A fly doubtless doesn't see or perceive the impact of a fly swatter in the same way a man perceives the impact of a car, but the result is in both cases death. No matter where your soul is, unless it can build up a body from scratch, you have no more chance with that car than a fly has with a fly swatter.
Doubtless death is not the simple thing it seems to be on the physical plane, but that doesn't make it nonexistent. A hurt hurts and a pain pains regardless of how or even whether or not it is noticed. The appearance is illusion, but there is a face behind each mask. It is the purpose of the mystic and the seeker after knowledge to unmask the many faces of reality, not to deny that there is some reality connected with what is seen.
By the simple process of continued stripping of one mask after another, a point is eventually reached where all faces seem to be the same; or there seems to be no face at all. The latter is rooted in that greatest of follies, the denial of one's own existence. The former is material for pleasure or meditation, but signals the need for a new beginning and a new unmasking rather than the end of thought.
One must not forget that the experience of the Oneness of the All is often only a denial of the Difference of the Many, and not anything more or less than that. It is a mental action in the first instance, not an observation.
All this is quite a different thing from that state of meditation which transcends unity and difference and experiences all things in all places at one time.
I have come to realize that such philosophical bits and pieces come from some higher mental state. They are communications, not speculations. Some part of myself knows something and takes any means open to it to communicate that something to the rest of me. These communications may come in dreams, physical happenings or, as here, philosophizings. After the passage of much time, the character of these communications has changed. I find myself writing instructions to myself without being fully aware of the act or of the intent. Messages of this sort have been described as specimens of the "Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel." Others have spoken of such things as these when they referred to the "Star Demon within man." The philosophical message just recounted helped fill a need to understand Malkut in its relationship to other states of consciousness.

Two more dreams will illustrate early experiences of the path from Malkut to Yesod.

9/13/70 e.v.

Last night I dreamed of assisting my mother at a birth. The baby caused no pain and could rest in the palm of my hand. This seems to represent the common child of the Shechinah and my paternal soul. The conjunctive birth is of a new soul and may represent the Neshamah. This follows the days of my preparing the study of the Tarot. Earlier in the same dream, or in one just before it, I saw myself sitting with my father and mother before a fire in which burned three pieces of wood. One of the sticks hissed dangerously and the sound of hissing began increasing. It was said that the stick must be taken out to protect those who were in the room. After a few seconds my mother removed the stick and tossed it out the front door and into the drive-way. The burning stick then exploded with a great detonation, radial shower of sparks, and extremely bright illumination. The stick had come from the left in the fire.
This dream contained a clue to my difficulties in advancing, a clue that I overlooked to great disadvantage for several years. I had allowed too much attention to those things represented by the left-hand side of the Tree of Life (the side of reason and order). This caused a serious imbalance toward the rational in my thoughts and behavior. Reason is not all. To reason exclusively is to cut away the heart of things. Reason is a fire that burns all to ash. Emotion is a great sea that drowns all else. Better to blend both than to die by fire or by water. This I have learned through much inner torment. That torment is illustrated by the Tarot Key of the Tower and by the path of Peh (path number 27) between Hod and Netzach on the Tree of Life.
I'm getting a bit ahead of my story, these realizations were not fully felt until much later. Here's the other dream. It illustrates a function of the Pentagram ritual.

9/16/70 e.v.

Last night I dreamed of a visitation.
I went to bed after a banishing pentagram ritual.
At a point some few minutes after lying down, and after I had expressed a wish to experience a dream of Tipheret, I suddenly sensed a face looking over my shoulder. The impression of a person being present was very distinct and slightly disturbing. I turned, as one does, and saw nothing (the face seemed to come from the North, over my back and left side, near my shoulder.). I mused that the impression must be like that experience typically when one gets results in an experiment of evocation. Some time later I fell asleep.
The hours of sleep wore on and I came to dream. I dreamed of a stern woman with dark hair and of a height not notably inferior to my own. She seemed to stand close before me. I stood also. There was an impression of menace. I fumbled in my dream through some of the ritual of the Pentagram before her, and she receded very slightly. I carefully and quickly traced the Pentagram of HayVauHayYod before the woman and spoke the names of the four letters. ... slight recession of the image. I then willed the image to dissolve (as suggested in Israel Regardie's Golden Dawn for this ritual). With some considerable effort, the figure dissolved. I later awoke in some emotional distress.

Here is another communication of the philosophical sort:

9/25/70 e.v.

People act magically when they act in awareness of the unity of the Universe and Self. When one so acts, he appears "more real" to himself and to others -- especially to those to whom he speaks without concealment.
Both Christ and Hitler seem to have been intensely magical people in this last sense.
When one is chiefly aware of means which others consider in their hearts to be good, others think him good.
When one is chiefly aware of means which others consider in their hearts to be evil or wrong, others think him evil or wrong.
When one thinks of most of his means as good but others do not, he should act with caution and inspect others' motives and means.
When one thinks of most of his means as evil or wrong he is insane. He should seek help or kill himself. He should try for many years with many people to help himself before the second method of correction be employed. He should be especially careful of exaggeration as to the evils of some few of his means.
He who thinks of most of his means as good is imbalanced.
He who thinks of most of his means as evil is imbalanced.
He who does not understand that some of his means are good and some are evil is God, the Fool. He has transcended sanity; and, although the term "Unsane" is better, most would think him mad. Such a one is not he who "Proves" his indifference to good and evil by wanton murder.

These musings aided me to settle in my mind some questions concerning right and wrong.
We now jump some months ahead and take up another dream.
This one continues the exploration of the path between Malkut and Yesod with some complex variations.

1/14/71 e.v.

I am returning home after a pleasant interlude with friends and family. Coming up the back way, we enter the yard via the gate near the garage, in the boardwall. The garden and back yard are over-run with dangerous animals. I see a lion (or other large tawny cat), a black panther, and other beasts including dogs. There are unruly people with the animals (circus roustabouts?). I try to send these beings away, but to no avail. I enter the house by the back door, taking with me a friend. Inside the house, intending to restore control, I tell my friend to come with me to "communications central" -- which seems to be a sort of over-world in which I have absolute power. The house is vast, out of all proportion to reality. We enter a room in which are stacked lockers. I pull one aside, and we enter the space beyond. A room filled with business machines or card punches is beyond our position. No one is within. I do something, or will something. The walls of the room suddenly are made of close fitting bricks, moving downward, as we are moving upward (yet there is an impression of the house having no upper floor). The motion stops and we walk out to a path paved in curiously colored and luminous flagstones (curving slightly, with the colored stones all in one small section). There is an entrance procedure. I press certain flagstones to identify both my friend and myself. This done, we pass within. The inner world is very bright, clean, neat, industrious and busy. Many people are pursuing many tasks. In spite of the elevator going up, the entire place seems to be in some vast space under the surface. Suddenly one of the unruly people comes up behind us. He has followed from the surface despite the safeguards. I condemn him to be removed and turn away. He utters words of hopeless protest and fear, but I will see him in that place no more.
I and my friend wander about. The place doesn't seem quite the com. center I was looking for. We walk a bit and enter a dress shop. There are two full length mirror-doors within. I open one to show that it contains only cast-off rags, etc. I tell my silent friend to open the second, knowing that it is a door to a hidden place. He (the friend) does nothing. I open the door and we enter a sort of machine chamber in which lies a great blob of machinery. It is shaped like a human heart lying on its side, with the big end near us and the smaller end farther to the right. At the far right stands a workman. There is a steady but thin discharge of electricity about six feet or so long, coming from the left and striking an electrode on the upper left part of the machine. I wish to go past to the smaller end and beyond, but the spark of electricity is too close to the path. After a brief pause, a midget with large elfin ears comes in via the mirror door, passes us, and walks up toward the smaller end of the machine. He is too short to fear the spark.
This dream symbolically repeats warnings about being too rational and being too restrictive. The dream is also prophetic. I am now surrounded by the "disorderly people" that I repudiated in the dream. These have become my brothers and sisters instead of the undesirables in the dream, while the animals have turned up as pet cats. This dream told me to change my standards and to realize that I had been wrong to deny the better part of my life. I could not progress until I became one of these "freaks" and accepted that they were not freaks at all. This realization took months to reach consciously, but I began to move toward it at once.

I continued to study things occult:

1/16/71 e.v.

Some notes on Keys 0, 1 and 2 of the Tarot (BOTA version):
When coloring these Keys, the most difficult and time consuming (therefore most obstructing) parts are those having the greatest complexity of small detail in alternating colors.
These are:
2--The outer garb of the Fool.
3--The framing rose arbor of the Magician.
1--The temple curtain of the High Priestess.

The following ideas are thereby suggested:
1--The crowning fault of mercy is the allowance of interfering states to get as close as they wish.
2--The crowning fault of severity is to hold interference off by main strength.
3--The crowning fault of balance is to view interference as a distinct and simple obstruction.

These faults are countered thusly:
1. Ignore the interference.
2. Rend the interference to shreds.
3. Find truth in the sphere of interference.

As a single course of action:
3. Perceive interference.
2. Conquer interference.
1. Forget interference.

Here's another diary entry about Tarot, dated 2/13/71:
The Magician stands tall and firm in his garden. Lo, a change! The Red Robe falls to the garden floor. It moves, changes, becomes a Great Red Lion. The roses below entwine with the Kundalini serpent and chain the man and the beast. The roses are as twelve passions to master the rage of the Lion. White lilies, are you teeth? Are you claws, O'h elementals? But the Man is Woman as his inner humility makes humble the Raging Beast. And the garden that hung above descends to crown the Woman within. The Jaws of roses and Lilies have closed to open the Jaws of the Beast." --- the cards of the Magician and Strength.

This next speculation comes from the same entry in my diary. It relates the three mother letters of the Hebrew Alphabet to the Major cards of the Tarot. These three mother letters are:
Aleph, Aleph, corresponding to the element Air.
Mem, Mem, corresponding to the element Water.
Shin, Shin, corresponding to the element Fire.
These speculations were made using the BOTA deck.

"More on the Three Mothers:

0. The Fool is crowned by Air (his head in the clouds of heaven) --- Aleph, Aleph.
His center is water (where is Kundalini?) --- Mem, Mem.
Beneath him and about his legs burns fire (He stands on Kundalini!) --- Shin, Shin.
1. The Magician's Head swims in the waters (can this be Binah's crown
--- the great sea elevated?) --- Mem, Mem.
His body burns with fire (Kundalini is rampant and self-feeding
about him) --- Shin, Shin.
At his feet the air lingers to receive his fiery blast (roses
and lilies await) --- Aleph, Aleph.
2. High Priestess with her flaming crown (fire among palms and
pommegranets) --- Shin, Shin.
Air stirs about her waist (holding many secrets) --- Aleph, Aleph.
Waters flow from her hem (conscious life-stream pours) --- Mem, Mem.
3. Empress, Air stirs in thee to bear thy seeds to the harvest --- Aleph, Aleph.
4. Emperor, Water finds its channel by thy will --- Mem, Mem.
5. Hierophant, Fire comes forth from thy words --- Shin, Shin.
6. Lovers, Water flows from on high through you in two streams ---
does not one seek union with the other? --- Mem, Mem.
7. Chariot, Fire burns brightly as thy conquering force --- Shin, Shin.
8. Strength, passive Air is made so by conjoined woman and
beast --- Aleph, Aleph.
9. Hermit, bright burns thy lamp to show the way (triple- flamed one,
Fire in lamp, staff and man) --- Shin, Shin.
10. Wheel of Fortune, spin in Air, crossed by the four quarters --- Aleph, Aleph.
11. Justice, let Waters of harmony balance thee --- Mem, Mem.
12. Hanged Man, you are suspended by the cross of the world in the Air
of sanctity --- Aleph, Aleph.
13. Death, you trouble the Waters with your reaping --- Mem, Mem.
14. Temperance, you are so harmonious that you are a three-tongued
flame of Fire --- Shin, Shin.
15. Devil, you are the darkness upon the waters --- Mem, Mem.
16. Tower, you reach too high from too poor a foundation --- self-
destroying Fire --- Shin, Shin.
17. Star, you embody Air --- Aleph, Aleph.
18. Moon, your Fire is borrowed --- Shin, Shin.
19. Sun, your children dance in Air --- Aleph, Aleph.
20. Judgment, your sounding parts the Waters --- Mem, Mem.
21. World --- Earth made up of Air, Water and Fire -- Aleph, Mem and Shin, ShinMemAleph.

The Three Mother letters and Tarot

The Three Mother letters and Tarot

These attributions of the three Mother Letters and corresponding elements to the twenty-two major cards of the Tarot can be used to study the Tree of Life. In this method; the Fool corresponds to number one, Keter, the Crown. The Magician corresponds to Chokmah, number two, Wisdom. The High Priestess corresponds to Binah, number three, Understanding. The Empress, Emperor and Hierophant correspond to Tipheret, Beauty, number 6 (this is Tipheret raised to the place of Da'at, see Appendix A of this book). The Lovers, the Chariot and Strength correspond to Chesed, Mercy and number four. The Hermit, Wheel of Fortune and Justice correspond to Geburah, Severity and the number five. The Hanged Man, Death and Temperance correspond to Yesod, the Foundation, number nine (raised to the place of Tipheret). The Devil, the Tower and the Star correspond to Netzach, Victory and number seven on the Tree of Life. The Moon, Sun and Judgment correspond to Malkut raised to the place of Yesod.
All this is rather technical, but study will bear fruit. The more usual attribution of these cards is to the paths connecting the ten Sephiroth, rather than to the Sephiroth themselves. The usual attribution is taken from the occult system of the Order of the Golden Dawn and is a very good thing to study along with the system outlined above.

Here is the usual attribution:

Tarot Major:Path on Tree:Hebrew letter:
Fool11, Keter to Chokmah Aleph, Aleph
Magician12, Keter to BinahBet, Bet
High Priestess13, Keter to TipheretGimmel, Gimel
Empress14, Chokmah to BinahDalet, Dalet
Emperor (alt: Star)15, Chokmah to Tipheret Heh, Hay
Hierophant16, Chokmah to Chesed Vau, Vau
Lovers17, Binah to Tipheret Zain, Zain
Chariot18, Binah to Geburah Chet, Chet
Strength19, Chesed to Geburah Tet, Tet
Hermit20, Chesed to Tipheret Yod, Yod
Wheel of Fortune21, Chesed to Netzach Koph, Kaf
Justice22, Geburah to Tipheret Lamed, Lamed
Hanged Man23, Geburah to Hod Mem, Mem
Death24, Tipheret to Netzach Nun, Nun
Temperance25, Tipheret to Yesod Samekh, Samekh
Devil26, Tipheret to Hod Ayin, Ayin
Tower27, Netzach to Hod Peh, Peh
Star (alt: Emperor)28, Netzach to Yesod Tzaddi, Tzaddi
Moon29, Netzach to Malkut Qof, Qof
Sun30, Hod to Yesod Resh, Resh
Judgment31, Hod to Malkut Shin, Shin
World32, Yesod to Malkut Taw, Taw.

These matters can best be studied through actual work with the cards. A BOTA deck of Tarot is best for this sort of thing. Additional correspondences to the paths and letters will be found in Appendices A and B.

The next development became a very important step in my growth. Frater Fons Numeris brought to my attention the two hundred and thirty one gates of the Sepher Yetzirah. Fr. F.N. and I met at San Francisco State in a class on the history of 15th century magic. We gradually opened up our discoveries to one another and began to share experiments in occultism. This relationship continued until the mid 1970s, and we lived under the same roof. He and I were brothers in a way that transcended our differences. Our differences were great, yet each gave to the other an insight that neither would possess alone. We grew in the strength of our studies. Our brotherhood was a gift from god to aid us both. Seek brothers and sisters in your lives. When they are found, life multiplies its meaning.
The mystery that Frater F. communicated to me was a simple enough thing in itself, but it led to a series of meditations that I have continued to this day; meditations that have meant more to me than any other aid. Much of this book will consist of extracts from those meditations. For now, a brief explanation will be made.

The concept of the gates.

1).the single letters: 22 fundamental symbols which interrelate according to combinations and various theories (such as numeric reduction).
2).the two-letter combinations: 22 duplications of the fundamental (1) symbols and 231 combinations showing simple interrelations between different symbols, taken two at a time.
3).the three-letter combinations: 22 duplications of the fundamental (1) symbols, 462 combinations showing an exaggerated (2:1) bias to one of the two letter symbols in a two letter relationship, and 1540 combinations of three different letters, showing 6 interrelationships of which half are of one cycle (* # @) and half are of another cycle
(@ # *).
9). ... 21). in like manner.
22).the 22 letter combinations: 22 duplications of (1), duplications of (2), bias duplications of (3) -- any combination of three different letters with arbitrary, duplications up to 22 letters in all, ... one combination of all 22 different letters.

As to permutations:

1). none possible.
2). each gate has two forms: * # or # *, showing precedence of
emanation (involution or evolution.).
3). each triplicity (no duplication) has six forms (* # @,
# @ *, @ * #, @ # *, # * @, * @ #) in two cycles:
the two cycles are often taken as indications of gender:
Shin Mem Aleph is of the male cycle and Mem Shin Aleph is of the female
cycle. -- Sepher Yetzirah (AMORC ed.), page 26.
The Sepher Yetzirah (page 24) identifies the six permutations
of Aleph, Mem, and Shin with "six rings, or elementary circles,
namely, air, water and fire ..." and their two additional
offspring (the cycles) --- each triplicity with one duplication has
three forms (* * #, * # *, # * *) and only a single
cycle. These reflect the gates of two, with a single
element exaggerated, and the ways of examining the effect
of the exaggeration. --- each triplicity of one letter is
incapable of permutation, and is thus a simple expression of (1).
4) ... 2) in like manner.
22) as before, but now we have reached the level of complete
systems (cube of space, sphere of 22 points; in short,
22-dimensional spaces.) It should be noted that only the
sets of all letters identical (equal (1)) are to be found
exactly in all 22 scales, or levels, of combinations and
permutations. Thus there is no exact counterpart of a form: * #
in any of the odd number scales. The form * # @ is not
exactly reproducible in the scale of 4: witness HayVauHayYod as one
counterpart of VauHayYod --- there are twenty one others, each
having four factorial = twenty four or 4!/2=12 different
permutations depending on whether at letter has been duplicated
(twelve) or not (twenty four)). These permutations may
be viewed as the ordering of elements within a fundamental
sphere or sub-universe to produce different effects through
their interactions.
The above concepts may be used to order and classify
interrelating elements in any system possessing any number of elements
--- providing that the elements are clearly separable.
In practice, the construction of a system proceeds as follows:
0 The frame beyond understanding.
* The frame of the Absolute
* The start of the frame of evolutions of duality.
* #
# *
* # *
* * #
# * #
* * *
# # #
* * # #
to infinity

The frames of the evolutions of triplicity, quadruplicity, etc. each compose an infinite sequence in themselves.
Generally the more elements (letters, pigeon holes, etc.), the easer the classification and the harder the comprehension of the whole system. The less the number of elements used, the easier the comprehension of the system as a whole, but the more difficult the classification or practical use.
Thus, the mundane (practical analysis) tends to prolific systems in terms of the number of symbols; and the divine (synthetic) tends to reduction of number of symbols.
22 symbols make a nice alphabet whereby almost anything may be designated by a reasonably short combination of some or all of the symbols in some distinct order or permutation (a word).
Such an alphabet may be generated on a single system which permits reduction of the complex "words" back to the simple, inter-symbol relationships. Further reductions run any word back, in a series of neat, logical steps, to the synthetic minimal size of the system --- or the minimum level for meaning of the word.
Basically, such a system must be made intentionally --- an artificial alphabet and language. Mundane usage tends to the proliferation of symbols without unification except on superficial levels.
Whether we consider that God or some lesser being makes and maintains such a system, or that men devised or synthesized such a system, is of no fundamental importance.
Sanskrit was an artificial language composed on principles like the above --- although, at this late date, it may never be known how close the composition followed these principles. Greek, Hebrew and other isopsephic languages may be reflections of some very ancient, and highly artificial language system.

That was quite a complex chunk of information from my Holy Guardian Angel. Some day I hope to write it up at greater length and with numerous examples, but this will do to show one extreme of the kind of information that comes from contacting inner and higher consciousness. This theory is behind my meditations, and it may one day come out of my works as a powerful study of systems of thought. That day is far in the future. Now I am simply meditating on the 231 different combinations of two Hebrew Letters. When I have sufficiently mastered these 231 gates of the Sepher Yetzirah, I will be able to take on the greater job of digesting and using many other systems. When I can see each system in each of the others I will be able to write my book of systems. The reader is not advised to hold his breath until that comes to pass.

Here's some information about the seven ancient planets, and what they represent. This is an example of another type of communication from the inner mind:

2/19/71 e.v.

Saturn ................ morbid solemnity.
Jupiter ................ solemnity and solemn joy.
Mars ................ sanguine solemnity and joy.
Venus ................ moderate solemnity and great joy.
Mercury ..... .......... immoderate joy.
Moon ................ joy and solemnity in the "fey" sense --- lunacy at extreme.
Sun ................ joy and solemnity in balance, always in the sense of rejoicing or of jubilee.
Alchemical Earth ................ all grades compounded.

Of laughter, there are several sorts:

hysteric, Mercury .................. to be avoided --- the alarm bell.
in disgust, Saturn ................ to be avoided --- a door slammed shut.
depreciative, Venus, Mars, Jupiter ........ a valid counterweight to solemnity, tipping it only slightly.
appreciative, Venus, Mars, Jupiter ....... (Same as depreciative laughter).
battle, Mars ................... in heat of deeds --- mark of intense involvement.
loving, Venus ................... in joy of union --- or discovery of union.
spontaneous, Jupiter .............. hearty and easy --- ease of soul.
mad, Moon ...................... lunacy --- Ophielia's bane.
delighting, Sun................ from discovery of beauty --- bathing in light.

Of solemnity, there are several sorts:

stunned silence, Mercury .......... thoughts frozen --- overload
morbid, Saturn ................... death-bound --- the shut door
depreciative, Venus, Mars, Jupiter ....... as for laughter
appreciative, Venus, Mars, Jupiter ....... as for laughter
battle, Mars ................... as for laughter
loving, Venus ................... as for laughter
fixed, Jupiter .................... native to the soul --- natural and free
pompous, Moon .................. lunacy
delighting, Sun ............... as for laughter.

As may be seen, I deem that laughter and solemnity are opposites. The one is noisy, the other is quiet. Both are equally disposed to serious or frivolous exhibition. Solemnity ponders, laughter prods. Solemnity declares, laughter shares. Solemnity judges, laughter accepts. Solemnity goes inward, laughter burst out. Solemnity is old, laughter is young. Solemnity is female, laughter is male.
These bits of information came to me at a time when I needed to understand my cycles of manic-depression. I learned that there was no need to become alarmed at their counterchanges. This enabled me to relax and freed me from being trapped in either state. Happiness and sadness are two flavors in life; they are best mixed. Too much sadness leads to death. Too much happiness leads to sadness. Yet there is a place that is beyond both, as daylight is beyond twilight. To climb the Tree of Life is to seek the place beyond such changes. Once there, the mind can experience emotion as a musician experiences music. Some emotions are to be experienced from the works of others (shared, actually, a becoming one with others). Some are to be created and unfolded by oneself.
Sometimes communications take the form of physical happenings. These can be frightening, but they are acts of love from the physical world toward the mental one. As such they sometimes startle and sometimes provoke to laughter, but they are as the mock-fighting that takes place between children and adults. Sometimes accidents can happen and pain results, but the whole is a thing of play between the universe and oneself. Such magical events can be invited, with caution. The physical universe means well but can sometimes be a little too rough. The next excerpt from my diary illustrates a very mild bit of rough play.

2/21/71 e.v.

I made my first trial of Case's method of divination. Among other things, I learned of some psychic manifestations to come, of the spiritualistic sort.
This afternoon I sat at my desk pondering matters. I was considering the gematria for the "Secret" word of the Briatic world. Thinking that the word was either GimelSamekh or VauSamekh, I was dismayed to realize that the reduced total was not right (ok for GimelSamekh = 60 + 3 = 9 by reduction, but this didn't agree with my previous work ... I later discovered that I had read Shin for Samekh earlier). As I pondered this matter, the hanger of my Tree of Life chart broke and sent the framed chart crashing to the floor. The cover glass was cracked across. The crack started on the path of Vau (between Chokmah and Chesed) and ended in that of Shin (between Hod and Malkut). VauShin = 9 (by reduction). This is the same spelling that I had substituted for Mathers' expression earlier, and had forgotten. I conclude that the true Briatic name is GimelShin, but that VauShin may be a male alternative to a female proper.
That sort of happening, in which a physical event will occur that matches a current thought, is one form of the kind of play that the physical world has with the mental. There are many other types of experience that bridge the gap from matter to mind. A very strange one follows:

Sometime in 1970, perhaps in the last quarter of that year, I performed an experiment in old-style ceremonial magic. This was the summoning of a "devil" by the practice of Goetic magic. Perhaps this was unwise in that it endangered a human life --- without intention, but the danger seemed real enough. The whole experience is quite a thing to remember. I knew what I was doing in theory and was safe because of that. The fellow who suggested the thing in the first place didn't know what he was in for, and he suffered some rather drastic psycho-physical changes as a result. The books I used were not very reliable, the methods incomplete and myself not sufficiently trained to perform the full evocation. None-the-less, some results were obtained; too many and too much for my accomplice. I could say that the fellow had it coming, but I should have been more careful to see if he knew his business. The whole thing would have gone well enough if he hadn't ignored the simplest of precautions. Be that as it may, I will first express my own understanding of this sort of Goetic practice and then narrate the episode.

There are many dark and destructive impulses in the depths of the human mind. Such impulses can dominate the consciousness and can penetrate a whole personality. When the personality is ruled by such downward tending impulses, the person is insane and may be said to be "possessed by a demon or devil." This "possession" is actually a psychological state and not a seizing of the mind by some external being. The effect often is such that there seems to be a distinct and evil personality in control of an otherwise normal mind. This effect has let people to assume that such things as demons and devils can push out the rightful dweller in a human body. Such demons and devils are actually personified impulses and thoughts of an incomplete and destructive nature. When this sort of demon is properly summoned into manifestation, one of these thoughts is given a limited and definite place to exist for a limited and definite time. The thought is given form in the imagination, sometimes hallucinated as a separate physical being, and dealt with conversationally. By this rather strange means, it is often possible to objectively consider and master defects and weaknesses of the spirit. Great care must be taken to limit the actions of the demon so that "possession" or obsession does not occur. There are elaborate symbolic actions and settings involved with the formal ritual evocation of such demons. When these practices are followed, the rules must be carefully observed. Perhaps there are such things as separately existing demons, devils and angels; but, if they do exist independently from the minds of those who deal with them, that existence is a very special one. Such astral beings are pure spirit and cannot effect matter without the aid of something that is partly spirit and partly matter. The human being is both spirit and matter and can act as a go-between for such beings and the physical world. The only way a pure spirit can contact a human being is through the mind of that human. This takes place only when there is some thought in that human mind which resembles the nature of the pure spirit. Such spirits are nothing more or less than thoughts, self-existent thoughts perhaps, but thoughts and nothing more. For example, to summon a demon of concupiscence it is first necessary to have a concupiscent thought. That thought may then be elaborated into a thinking structure much like a personality. When the structure is complete enough, the demon of concupiscence is present. Pure spirits have no proper locations except where they contact a semi-material being. Such spirits are not subject in themselves to time or division. It may be possible that spirits can persist after the death of the human responsible for their physical effects, and this is one explanation behind stories of ghosts. Such an extended effect is at most a weak thing. A disembodied spirit would require the aid of other semi- material minds to remain in the time an space world. A human mind can always undo what a human mind has done. The dangers from such phenomena stem largely from ignorance and panic, two of the most terrible demons ever to afflict humanity. The actual word "demon" may signify a beneficial spirit as well as a harmful one. The "Personal Demon," "Star Demon," "Holy Guardian Angel," "Higher Self," etc. is the best and most beneficial of these personified thoughts. Many human minds long for a personal god, not the great vague thing that is the subject of most organized religion, but a little god that lives within. Such a god can be found.
The process of obtaining a personal god is often the whole aim of a religion. Most major religions are directed toward people who don't need or want such a thing as a little, inward god; but many of the mystery, occult and third world religions are just there to help provide a god or goddess to those who want to find one. The Qabalists sometimes call such a god or goddess Shechinah, and theorize a direct relationship to the Great God. The Shechinah is traditionally female, but it should perhaps be generalized as having the opposite sex from the human to whom the Shechinah is attached. This is a good idea for those who wish to obtain such an inward god. Personal gods tend to have sexual characteristics anyway, so it's a good idea to line up a personal god having sex opposite to your own. When the god and the human have opposite sexes, life is much less lonely. When people make love, their little gods make love. Such a love making is useful for sexual magick. There isn't any real dividing line between personal gods of different people. There isn't any real dividing line between a human being and the personal god of that human being. People can become one with each other through their personal gods more fully than in any other way. When personal gods can relate with oneanother, any human sharing becomes a loving union.

Back to the demonic evocation.
When C. and I first met, it was over a glass of wine in C's apartment. He and his wife occupied the apartment over mine for several months during the years I lived in Oakland. C's wife was celebrating her birthday, and she had invited me to the occasion. I had not met her husband before, but the fact that their bedroom was directly above my own made for much of an introduction, at least of them to me. Long nights of words and noises had filtered down, and I formed a conception about these neighbors. Their life was complex in matters of love and trust, filled with inconsistencies. Still, direct impressions often are more trustworthy. I was pleased to meet C.
C. and I talked a bit about several things until the conversation gradually shifted toward science fiction and things occult. C. remarked proudly that he had managed to get a science fiction story published. We discussed that a bit; and, when the conversation lagged, I thought to pick it up with a few remarks about my occult interests. The wine was pleasant and slightly dulling to wits and judgments. When I mentioned that I possessed several rituals used in the Middle Ages and Renaissance for summoning the "Devil," C. immediately became alert. He suddenly suggested that we try one. This startled me; but to save face and owing to the persuasion of the wine, I slowly agreed. It would not be possible to do a full job of it on such short notice, I told him; but we could give it a try. I reasoned that the demons were only facets of the self, and that no possible harm could come to me through such an experiment. I was more than half convinced that C. was just playing a rather nasty joke anyway, not really serious about his suggestion. That may have been the case at the start, but not at the finish of the evening. C. got burned, but good! I should have pressed the point of his motives a bit more closely.
We adjourned to my apartment.
Once in my apartment, I quickly assembled the necessary props and references. For my ritual I used A.E.Waite's Black Magic and Pacts (a stupidly blinded book) and Richard Cavendish's The Black Arts (a useful introduction to many branches of occultism). I took an old robe with a black lining and reversed it to become my magical robe. For a sword, I was better supplied. I had an old masonic sword, quite elaborate and magical looking. This sword had a short silver chain attached from guard to pommel. Where the chain joined the pommel, a small silver ring formed the last link, This sword and chain shall feature in what follows. There was a fireplace with wooden mantle in the West wall of the room. The flue had long ago been closed and an electric heater filled the entire hearth opening. We placed our half empty glasses on the mantle and set to work.
I showed C. the preparations and schooled him briefly in the basics of the ritual. We took up a stand in the center of the room, facing East. I passed the sword slowly about us both, defining the magical circle of protection. I then moved the sword about in the space inside the circle more or less duplicating the design for a magical circle shown on page 238 of Cavendish's book. We then went through the lesser pentagram banishment together and began the ritual evocation. The conjuration actually used is to be found on pages 241 and 242 of Waite's book. It runs as follows:

"I, (name of practitioner), do conjure thee, O Spirit (name of Spirit), by the living God, by the true God, by the holy and all-ruling God, who created from nothingness the heaven, the earth, the sea, and all things that are therein, in virtue of the Most Holy Sacrament of the Eucharist, in the name of Jesus Christ, and by the power of this same Almighty Son of God, who for us and for our redemption was crucified, suffered death, and was buried; who rose again on the third day, and is now seated on the right hand of the Creator of the whole world, from whence he will come to judge the living and the dead; as also by the precious love of the Holy Spirit, perfect Trinity. I conjure thee within the circle, (not a wise choice of words, it turned out) accursed one, by thy judgment, who didst dare to tempt God: I exorcise thee, Serpent, and I command thee to appear forthwith under a beautiful and well favored human form of soul and body, and to fulfill my behests without any deceit whatsoever, as also without mental reservation of any kind, by the great Names of the God of gods and Lord of Lords, ADONAY, TETRAGRAMMATON, JEHOVA, TETRAGRAMMATON, ADONAY, JEHOVAH, OTHEOS, JEHOVA, OTHEOS, ATHANATOR, 'a Liciat' TETRAGRAMMATON, SADAY, SADAY, SADAY, ISCHYROS, ATHAMATOR, SADY, SADY, SADY, CADOS, CADOS, CADOS, ELOY, AGLA, AGLA, AGLA, ADONAY, ADONAY. I conjure thee, Evil and Accursed Serpent (name of Spirit), to appear at my will and pleasure, in this place, before this circle, without tarrying, without companions, without grievance, without noise, deformity, or murmuring. I exorcise thee by the ineffable names of God, to wit, Gog and Magog, which I am unworthy to pronounce; Come hither, Come hither, Come hither. Accomplish my will and desire, without wile or falsehood. Otherwise St.Michael, the invisible Archangel, shall presently blast thee in the utmost depths of hell. Come then, (name of Spirit), to do my will."

This conjuration is in many ways poorly written. Still it was enough to waken the inner deeps of the mind of C. In fact, it produced a few external results.
Immediately after we read the conjuration, a loud and steady buzzing sound issued from the closed up fireplace behind us. The sound persisted for several minutes and resembled the buzzing of a large horse fly trapped behind the grate. The sound had not been heard in that place before and it never occurred again. No material cause ever presented itself, but it is possible that something physical could have caused it. I chose to interpret this sound as a warning from the demon Baalzebub, demon "Lord of Flys." The sound had come from the West while we were facing East. Even as the East is the direction of the rising Sun, it is said in Christian mysticism (note that the conjuration used here was at least partly Christian in form) that Christ shall come from the East on Judgment day and that the devils shall fly with the souls of the damned toward the West, where the Sun sets. Accordingly, I suggested that we should face the West when summoning devils by this formula. We faced West and pronounced the following "discharge," also found in Waite's book, page 243:

"Go in peace unto your places. May there be peace between us and You, and be ye ready to come when ye are called. In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."

We then resumed our preparations, repeated the conjuration and sought for results. This procedure was followed many times during the night and into the early morning hours. We called in turn upon two "devils," Belial and Asmoday, and used the information and seals presented by Waite in Black Magic and Pacts.

On page 175:

"Asmoday, a strong and powerful king, appears with three heads, the first like a bull, the second like a man, and the third like a ram. He has a serpent's tail, the webbed feet of a goose, and he vomits fire. He rides an infernal dragon, carries lance and pennon, and is the chief of the power of Amaymon. He must be invoked bareheaded, for otherwise he will deceive. He gives the ring of virtues, teaches arithmetic, geomancy, and all handicrafts, answers all questions, makes men invisible, indicates the places of concealed treasures and guards them if within the dominion of Amaymon."

On page 187:

"Belial, a mighty king created next after Lucifer, appears in the form of a beautiful angel seated in a chariot of fire, and speaking with a pleasant voice. He fell first amongst the superior angels who went before Michael and other heavenly angels. He distributes preferences of senatorships, causes favors of friends and foes, and gives excellent familiars. He must have offerings and sacrifices made to him.

I now know a great deal about such "devils" that I did not know then. If I were to call upon them today, it would be to learn the particular lesson of their corruption. That information is concealed in the Hebrew spelling of their names and can be read with some ease. In a later part of this work, I will show how such information is obtained. When rightly studied, these demonic names are found to be formulas of great value. The letters of the names may be used to analyze the fault personified by the demon and to learn how to avoid it. The proper use of these demons involves setting them up as guards against their particular vice or failing. The things a demon is said to teach are best mastered through dominating the demon, discovering the error personified by the demon and becoming free from it. There are other uses, but they relate to this one.
The forms of the seals are important too, but the poor state of preservation of such things makes them much more difficult to analyze.

To return to the events of that night and morning:
As we multiplied our conjurations, I grew gradually weary of the whole process. Nothing much happened beyond an occasional movement of a curtain or an odd sound from outside. Things were different for C. As I grew more bored, he grew more tense. Sweat broke out on his brow and his body gradually became more rigid. His breathing became by slow degrees more audible and forced. He had the sword when he did a very foolish thing.
We had just finished the conjuration of Asmoday and were waiting for the usual flop when he suddenly thrust the hilt beyond the circle and said: "I offer you the magic sword if your appear!"
I uttered a warning, but it was too late. He had broken the circle with the chief instrument of protection. Nothing happened then beyond a minor mishap, but he paid for his indiscretion later. When he passed the sword hilt beyond the circle, the chain from guard to pommel fell free of the pommel. After giving the discharge, we tried to rejoin the chain to the pommel, but the silver ring that formed the link was nowhere to be found. I reasoned that it had probably caught in his clothing when he thrust the hilt forward and that it must have fallen off. We continued.
After that I became a bit more concerned about C's reactions. What he did was harmless as physical actions go; but, in the symbolic setting of the ritual, it was far from harmless. To formally give up protection in the evocation of a harmful spirit is to ask that spirit to obsess yourself. Even if the ritual is a psychological game, that is a very odd thing to do. I resolved the participate in only one more evocation and then to stop.
The next evocation proceeded as did the others. No trouble and no result. After it I told C. that I was growing tired (the dawn was breaking) and that I wished to cease the conjurations. He pleaded with me to do one more. I refused to help, but agreed that he could do it alone if he wished.
At first he protested that I would be outside the circle and in danger. To quiet him, I showed him a large crucifix with a death's head at the base. This, I said, would be protection enough. He agreed.
I seated myself at some distance from his workings. From my new position, I was able to get a better look at him. What I saw distressed me. He looked like a man intoxicated with fear. His clothes were wet with sweat, and he had a wild look. I began to have misgivings about the whole thing. Yet he had begun, and I though it best not to interrupt him.
He quickly rushed through the conjuration. When he had finished it, he stood for a moment with the book open at his feet. Suddenly he dropped to his knees and said in a clear voice; "Come and take me! You can have my soul if you appear!"
That was a stupid thing to do!
He immediately slumped forward on his knees at an unnatural angle, and began the recitation of the discharge. When he had finished, he lowered himself closer to the Waite book, which was open to the seal of Asmoday; and he said; "I don't want to go. Don't send me away." He then froze in that position with all his muscles rigid.
The first think that crossed my mind was; "What am I going to do with the body?" --- I was a great deal less charitable in those days. As it turned out, burial wasn't necessary.
Taking the initiative (C. seemed unable to do much), I went up to him and held the cross between his eyes and the book. I then raised the cross to touch his forehead. At that point he uttered an enormous sigh and relaxed.
C. retrieved a wine glass from the mantle and went to my couch to sit down. Between sips of the wine he was telling me how harrowing his experience had been, when suddenly he uttered an inarticulate sound and stared at his glass.
I was beginning to think; "Here we go again." When he rose and brought the glass over to me, asking; "Do you see that? Do you see that? ..."
I took the glass from his trembling fingers and inspected it. After a moment I saw on the bottom, beneath an inch or so of red wine, the silver ring that had fallen from the sword.
Thinking that he wasn't ready for another such shock, I quickly drank the rest of the wine to show him that he hadn't endangered himself that way. How did the link reach the glass? It would have had to travel an almost impossible path from the place where the chain broke free to the tiny opening of the glass on the mantle three feet above. Perhaps C. had held the thing in his hand and introduced it into the glass himself. I don't know. If he did it himself, he couldn't have been fully conscious of it. He was genuinely disturbed.
When C. recovered enough to leave, he insisted on taking the sword up to bed with him as a protection against --- what? Later, as I lay in my bed, I heard gasping from the room above, like the sounds made by a person dying of a heart attack.
C. recovered, and showed further interest in things magical. He even asked if we could do something like that again. I evaded the question.
The last I heard of him, he had become a Jesus Freak of sorts, enlisted in the Armed Services without pressure from the draft and had developed a neurotic fear of the honking of geese. All in all, I would say that he got off very easily.
The whole episode may be interpreted as a lesson in applied psychology from my own little, inward god to me. As for C., his inward god seems to need heavy handed tactics to teach him lessons. I hope he learns how to live more gently in the future, but I have my doubts.
Remember that all this took place under the influence of Malkut, the tenth Sephira of the Tree of Life. That influence includes the dark world of the Qliphoth Demons, such as the two mentioned above. We are all subject to such influences as long as we remain only conscious of Malkut. There are holy and wonderful things in this place of all beginnings in the Earth, but there are dark things as well.

Here is a philosophical problem:

4/4/71 e.v.

The ultimate matter to be resolved is the problem of the many and the one. How can the one be the many? How can the many be the one? If the one and the many are the same thing, they are the one. If the one and the many are not the same, they are the many. In both cases they are the same and not the same.
When one comes to a paradox, one has asked an unreal question.
Clearly the many are illusion and the one is actuality. But why and how can I perceive the illusion?
If I reason that perception of multiplicity results from being only a small part of things, I defeat the whole question in a stupid set of tail chasings --- I answer nothing. Maybe God has the hives!
This problem is essentially one of comparison between Keter, the first Sephiroth, and Malkut, the tenth. The problem is solved by invoking the number zero, Ain.

4/9/71 e.v.

Ain surpasses the problem of the one and the many. Ain (in the simple sense, not the three-fold sense) is that summation of the All which cannot be pinned down. In Ain there can be no unity and no disunity.
Keter is the first manifestation. Keter is unity. Keter is the most pure form of definition. Keter is the ultimate seed of division. Unity is the tacit recognition of the possibility of disunity.
Chokmah is the second manifestation. Chokmah is duality. Chokmah is the seed of relationship between parts. Duality is the tacit recognition of the possibility of interrelationships.
Binah is the third manifestation. Binah is reunification through interrelationships. Binah is thus the seed of duplication or reflection --- this follows from the duplication of the unity of Keter. The dialectic is the tacit recognition of duplication.
The second Triad is the reflection of the first. The second Triad thus corresponds to Chokmah while the first Triad corresponds to Keter. The Third Triad corresponds to Binah, and it is a manifestation of the reunificative properties of that Sephira. Malkut is the reflection of of the entire Tree of Life into a unity. Malkut is the seed of seeds. Malkut is the beginning of the Trees from the Tree. Thus Malkut is the unity which is many. Thus Malkut is the manifestation of Ain. Thus Malkut IS AIN, for of Ain there can be no division, no replication, no partial representation.


*      *

*      *      *

*      *      *      *

Now begins a great labor that continues to the present day. I had been thinking about the two hundred and thirty one gates ever since Fr. Fons Numeris brought them to my attention. These combinations of Hebrew letters seemed to me to be the fit subject of meditation that I needed to fully enter into the Great Work. Accordingly, I started a series of meditations on these pairs of letters. This point marks my coming of age in the magical world. I set firm foot on the path of Taw, the path from Malkut to Yesod.
This is the record of that beginning:

The Two Hundred and Thirty One Gates:

QofTzaddi QofPehQofAyinQofSamekhQofNunQofMemQofLamedQofKafQofYodQofTetQofChetQofZainQofVauQofHayQofDaletQofGimelQofBetQofAleph

4/10/71 e.v.

At about 7PM the last flame went out. New candles and start cycle at 6AM, 4/11/71, Easter Sunday morning.
When the flame expired and the smoke rose up, I did the Lesser Pentagram Banishing ritual. Disturbances in the air. The Eastern Pentagram seemed to be lightly visible. The HayVauHayYod vibration had a distinct emanation cloud going forth from my right hand at charging. Other directions were less notable. May have been distracted by results. The angel of Elemental Air was visible as a general disturbance like a heat wave. Ritual was done in the outer room --- last candle was the southern in that room. I asked for a sign of a gentle and harmless sort.

4/11/71 e.v.

I awoke, lit the candles and a bit of incense. I studied the gates and wrote in the books of 231 and Aleph (notebooks used during this period) about the gate BetAleph. The candles came before and the study and writing after a seven minute meditation on the Key 0 (The card of the Fool in Tarot. It corresponds to the letter Aleph). The meditation was broken twice; once to think about the damp in the North East corner of the room, once to look up. I counted the nine mountain peaks (these details are to be found in the BOTA Tarot card of the Fool), eight spokes, seven trefoils. I pondered the Malkut-earth-stone beneath the Fool. I noted the grip of the hand on the rose and on the staff. I saw the wreath. I noted the white, Horus eye. I saw in the rose a lotus wand. I dimly discerned another lotus wand at the feet of the Fool. I tried to see and count fingers in the ground beneath the feet. I tried to discern the PCS monogram (inadvertently left on this card by JBP). I counted the wheels. I noted the belt. I examined the decorations of the outer garment with an eye to painting them. I thought about the color of the background, the hair, the sun, rose, dog, wand, outer garment, leggings, face, wallet, mountains and leaves.

Another meditation from the next day:

4/12/71 e.v. --- 6AM

7-8 min. med. on colored Key 0. Saw the contrasts between the yellow sky and the violet-purple mountains. Saw that the torso and skirt of the Fool form mount Meru with the belt the dividing line. Just as the world-mill trembles and falls off the axis-mundi at the end of each world-age, so will the false restraint of the Fool fall away and send him tumbling through the worlds. He is the double cone which rises and falls above and below the horizon.

This dream is recorded for the same day:

I dreamed a dream ... in which I had entered a strange world. It was a sort of carnival world in which a great ferris wheel turned. Its wheels were pentagrams in circles, made out of beads of light. I was tested in this world (to gain entry?). Part of the test consisted of a cubic lattice. One had to see that it was a lattice with the cubical form and that on it, things which seemed to have no relationship to each other were the same and at the same point. Even when ordered out of that place by a certain time, one could not truly leave it. Walk as one would, the lights of the wheel would but become blurred and then return to sharp clarity. This was the world of the Folly that is wisdom. Here everyone seemed irrational --- but their's was the height of reason --- DaletAleph.

Some explanation might help.
I had started meditation on the 231 gates or combinations of Hebrew letters. According to my plan, I would meditate twice on each pair of letters. In each case, the first such meditation was intended to be simple, only a little more than a rehearsal of the correspondences. The first part of the meditation on each gate was spent in examining correspondence to both of the letters constituting the gate. As part of the first-type meditation, I prepared several pages listing the correspondences of various traditional things to each letter of the pair. These correspondences often derive from the Sepher Yetzirah, according to the Golden Dawn pattern, and include numbers, astrological symbols, colors, Tarot cards, human vices and virtues, etc. See Appendix B for a listing. After setting down these correspondences to the gate letters in two parallel columns, I looked up the pair of letters as a word in a Hebrew dictionary. Usually several dictionary meanings can be found for each pair of letters. After this I wrote short sentences uniting correspondences. This first-type meditation is practice and discipline. The second meditation follows another sequence of the gates. Out of the first 21 successive mediations, all were of the first type. The next 21 meditations started with one of the second type. The next 21 started with two of the second type and included 19 of the first type. The last 21 meditations will be entirely of the second type.
These second-type meditations start in the same manner as the first-type. I sat and meditated before a Tarot card or two, letting my thoughts follow the course that seemed best. After this I indulged in trance writing rather than the checking off of correspondences.
The frequency and method of the meditations changed many times during the years of this labor, but most of the pattern outlined above continued in use. I will remark about the changes as they occur in this history.

This next item is a diary entry about a first-type meditation of the letters ZainAleph. It records thoughts experienced while looking at the Tarot card of the Fool. The more complex work with correspondences is a different sort of thing.
8 min. meditation on Key 0. Did 231 (gate 6) and Aleph earlier. Face of Fool again strong. I looked on the mountains of the background and remembered Crowley on K-2. Was Crowley's mountaineering a physical version of his spiritual accomplishment? Did he seek to attain in nature what he could not attain in spirit?
I wonder if the Fool stands on Everest?
Attempted a projection of self into the Key. Felt a bit of arise. Key seemed more real. Got strong visual overloading effects, not strong enough to precipitate rising in the light, only a bit of color flashing.

That last paragraph mentions a very useful practice. Take a Tarot card, one of the BOTA cards that you have painted yourself is perhaps the best, and visualize yourself in the body of the principal character of the card. See all the things that the principal character would see. Imagine all the parts of the clothing of the figure. Wear that clothing about your imagined form. Do in imagination the things done in the card. This method is the same as the Golden Dawn method of building up a god-form about oneself. In this case, the Tarot images are the god-forms.

There are many Tarot decks. I have found that different sorts of decks answer different needs, and I use several. The BOTA deck has aided me most in meditation. For divination, I like the Waite-Rider pack. For light mediation and simple pleasure, Crowley's Book of Thoth deck is best. Crowley's deck is the most beautiful published deck that I have seen, but the designs are too complex for most uses. The Cook deck (called The New Tarot for the Aquarian Age), although not a Tarot deck at all, is nice to trip with. The Tarot of Marseilles is the oldest style available widely. There are many illustrated books which provide glimpses of strange and beautiful designs.
A few words should be said about the so-called "Egyptian Tarot" of C.C.Zain (Elbert Benjamine). This deck, also known as the "Church of Light" deck and the "Brotherhood of Light" deck, is a modern example of a type that originated in 18th century France. This sort of Tarot is not Egyptian in any way other than the style of its art. The story of an Egyptian origin for Tarot seems to be false. The myths illustrated on the cards have Egyptian counterparts; but the designs on the cards show the 12th century European versions of such myths, not Egyptian. This is true even of the Zain deck. In this design, the European myths are acted out by characters drawn to appear like Egyptians. Most of the pictures on the Zain deck Major Trumps are redrawn from very similar Trumps in a book titled Practical Astrology, by pseudo Comte C. de Saint-Germain, 1901. Sometimes Zain introduced Egyptian hieroglyphs into the designs, but these are usually irrelevant to the meanings of the designs. In one case, that of the card of the Fool (Zain's "Materialist", Arcanum XXII), there is a relationship between Zain's Egyptian characters and the symbolism of the card. On the base of the fallen obelisk, Zain has placed the cartouch of "Men-Keph-Ra," an alternate name for Pharaoh Thuthmes the IIIrd. The AMORC pseudo-Rosicrucians use this cartouch as the "seal of the founder;" and it is possible that Zain used it to insult that honorable, though juvenile organization. In his book, the Sacred Tarot, Zain claims that the letters on the lower right corners of the Major Trumps of his Tarot are Egyptian characters. These letters are a form of Hebrew called the "Alphabet of the Magi," and they may be seen in the back of the Mathers "translation" of the Greater Key of Solomon. There is no known direct connection between these letters in this form and ancient Egypt. Had Zain really wished to use Egyptian characters, he could have turned to Budge's book on the Egyptian Language. This work contains a list of Egyptian hieroglyphics which correspond to the letters of the Hebrew alphabet. Some of these could easily be attributed to the Major Trumps of Tarot.
Tarot cards may have been introduced into Europe by the Gypsys when that people migrated from India. An enterprising Gypsy may have adapted Indian cards to European usage by drawing pictures of participants in the pre-Lenten festivals of 12th century Italy. Such festivals (called Mardi Gras in this country) included all the figures of the traditional Tarot. Because historic records appear to indicate the first arrival of the Gypsys in Western Europe some considerable time after the first appearance of Tarot, the Gypsy theory of Tarot origin is unlikely. Probably the idea of such cards came in through Venetian commerce with Islam.
Whatever their origin, Tarot cards have been used as teaching aids in occult organizations for several centuries. Special features have been introduced into the designs of most modern decks. Although these features are rarely traditional to Tarot, they do make the decks that incorporate them easier to use with the theories of the occult organizations. If a person studies one or another of the various occult systems, it is best to use Tarot decks designed by students of the system being studied. The use of Tarot based on other theories may be confusing. Zain's theories don't fit well with the Waite deck, and the Golden Dawn theories don't fit Zain's deck. To learn Zain's system, use his deck. To learn the Golden Dawn system, use the decks of Waite, Case or Crowley.
Whenever a Tarot card is described below, the BOTA (Case) deck will be the one used. The few exceptions to this rule will be noted in the text where they occur.

The next item comes from my diary dated: 4/18/71 e.v., 6PM. It concerns experiences obtained while doing a first- type meditation on the gate NunAleph.
The wand of the Fool is the serpent-staff of Aaron. My spine must become that staff. The Moon and Sun in close embrace on the left shoulder of the Fool are gate 13, NunAleph. The entire wand and wallet are strong for this gate. Scorpio in the neutral and good aspects. Kundalini stiffens to send the crest of the life-force back to the sphere of Keter and to Ain beyond. The mementos of incarnation rise in the grip of the Eagle to the top. Look through the eye! Unlock the clasp! Know!
I read the last BOTA lesson on the Fool first ...
Also took a much needed bath --- If I hadn't had a hangover, might have risen in LVX.
... Tarot meditation interrupted by much swallowing. There was some perspiration, and automatic rigidity, ='s lower stages of Pranayama. The hangover interfered with the necessary breathing control. Also sluggish from weight build up ... water of rehydration ... Yama too weak. Niyama not the interfering weakness this time. Definite Asana problems. Crowley is right. Good health and comfort are necessary. A clean skin and an empty set of testicles will not
overcome even a mild hangover. In later experiments, I found that this was only true of a certain type of meditation. Hangovers from alcohol and from various other drugs can be actually incorporated into the meditation. This does limit the choice of the meditator, however. One may not be able to use one's "favorite" meditation style.

This selection from my diary represents only a part of the written material that accompanies such a meditation. Each such diary entry starts with a brief summary of the basic experience and provides information on its duration.:

16 min. on Key 0. 231 and Aleph. The Key flashed nicely. I was able to come close to stopping myself --- may have done it for several fractions of a second. Had much improved visualization. Improved identification. Came closer to strong perception of the Life-Force.

The 16 min. refers to time spent actually sitting in silence and looking at the Tarot card of the Fool. After the basic record of time spent and physical conditions, ideas and impressions are recorded in the diary.
Two other records of each meditation are written in different notebooks. The first of these records is a formal meditation on correspondences to the letters. This is done for the first-type meditation only. In cases of the second- type meditation, the record in this same notebook consists of trance and semi-automatic writing. The notebook that holds the first of these additional records is referred to in diary entries as "231."
These "231" notebooks have a separate section for each of the pairs of Hebrew letters. Each of these sections is subdivided into three subsections. Here are copies from the first subsection of "231" for the gate NunAleph:

This first subsection contains no original material. It is little more than a list of the correspondences to the two letters. A middle column of correspondences to the pair of letters as a whole is derived from their numerical values and placed between the columns of the correspondences to the letters taken separately.

The second subsection puts these correspondences into more complex statements and starts a study and meditation on their significance.:


4/18/71 e.v.

How long O'h Lord? When may we leave our bondage in the Egyptian land? How long must we shuttle back and forth between the Day city and the Night city?
When you are ripe, when you are ready, then and only then shall you depart the earthly Heliopolis and the earthly Thebes. In that time shall you journey past the Moon City of the Dead. In that time shall you journey past the Sun City of the Living. In no time and no space shall you enter the gates of the Heavenly city of which earthly Heliopolis is scarce a dream.
The Ox falls past the Sun. The Ox is stuck tight in the spinning rounds of the Fish who chases his tail.
Air blows past the Sun. The maddened Bull rushes into the nest of scorpions. Yet is there, there to be found the serpent of the wise and the Bird of Heaven. The fire which stings to the death also kindles the flame of life and shoots be-times as high as the sky.
Above to below rises and falls as South-East and South- West. Between these two verticals spins the disk of the Sun. The Wheel of Brahma hath eight spokes.
Life-Breath inwardly understands the transformations of life and death. To free the Ruach from the motion of the manifesting ... Only stop and listen.
The Fiery Intelligence eternally enters into the Imaginative Intelligence. To triumph, forget time and space.
Yod ......... Life-Breath is enkindled into Nature.
Hay ......... The Heavens crash to earth.
Vau ......... Life in nature becomes subdued unto death beneath
             the fertile earth.
Hay ......... The Crown of Life is changed for the Anubis rod of Death.
Nun-finalVauAleph .............. Breath, nothingness; idolatry, falsehood, sin, toil;
             Heliopolis; wealth; strength. ... here is the nature
             of life mixed with the seed of death.
AlephVauNun .............. to avert, hinder, refuse, frustrate. ... here is
             the seeming nature of death. Avert thine eyes
             from the Sun which is darkened by thy Idolatry O'h Israel!

The third subsection on NunAleph is added at a later time, following the second meditation on this particular gate. It is of the second-type and consists of trance writing. The example below is a little out of place here, as it actually was written nearly a year later than the time now under discussion. It has been included at this point to show the full form of the sectional entries of the 231 notebooks.

2/6/72 e.v.

The Son of the Sun enters the world but to die and to rise again.
To you O'h Lord we owe our livelihood! To your fields, your skies and your creatures do we owe existence! Yet we must kill you.
You have entered our hearts and made them glad. You have given us children and kept them well. Yet we must kill you.
You have brought the gentle rain and the cooling breeze. You have made the earth rich and bearing. Yet we must kill you.
Your life is in all, it slackens not, nor does it lose its savor. Yet to preserve that life we must kill you.
O'h Son of the Sun we shall morn you. We shall grieve for you. In every field we shall bury you. Your body shall be divided among us all. Your bones shall be ground into our bread. Your flesh shall become our portion.
The beast and the stranger, the sheaf and the tree --- these are your hiding places. These shall die that you may be with us always.

In the second notebook additional records of the meditations are made in the form of short entries to link the pair of letters through the corresponding Tarot cards. This series of records is kept in twenty-two separate notebooks, one for each letter of the Hebrew alphabet. In the diary entries, these notebooks are referred to by the corresponding Hebrew letter. Thus, the entry for the first- type meditation on NunAleph is found in the notebook of Aleph.



The Life-Breath of the Fool is trapped in the cycles of Death and reincarnation. The soul shuttles back and forth between Heliopolis and Thebes; between Nun-finalAleph and AlephNun; between the Sun of the living and the Moon of the dead. Hear the sayings of the Hierophant. Then shall Death case to plant and to harvest. Your seed shall have grown vines upon the trellis of his bones as a Serpent twines a Tree. The blossom you put forth shall be caught up in the talons of the Eagle and carried to that which shines in the No-time and No-space beyond the sky. The Sting of Scorpion Death will know thee not. Nun-finalAleph shall become Nun-finalYodAleph.

When the second type meditation occurs, this type of record is placed in the book of the second letter of the gate or pair of letters. In this case, the book of Nun was used:

2/6/72 e.v.


The Fool glides out of the mouth of the Hierophant to keep rendezvous with Death.

Whatever is not recorded in the books of 231 or in the books of the Hebrew Letters is noted in the diary, after the general record.

This is the form of my meditations. The details vary, but in each case there is a longer or shorter period of ritual meditation followed by an earthing of the experiment in writing. The whole is a single experience, a single meditation. In a very real sense, there is no time in which I am not meditating. As soon as I have finished with one gate, by formal meditation and writing, I invoke the force of the next. All events that occur from one formal meditation to the next are interpreted as occurring under the magical influence of the pair of letters that is the subject of the next formal meditation. Sometimes the effect is mild, sometimes violent; but the effect of each gate on my life is always definite. Each gate teaches me and causes me to grow. When I am fully open to the influence of a given gate, I learn through pain and frustration. Both sorts of experience will be shown in the pages which follow.
This series of meditations was undertaken as a preliminary to the magical retirement described in the writings of Aleister Crowley and in the Sacred Book of the Magic of Abramelin the Mage. The preliminary became the main event. I progressed to the reception of the unhindered knowledge and conversation of my Guardian Angel, my Higher Mind. At the time now being discussed, I was not fully aware of this. I spend long months on the 31st path of the Tree of Life, the path of Taw.
Throughout April and the first part of May of 1971 I was tormented by the approach of my master's degree oral exam. This valuable but miserable experience figured in my meditations of the period. I had enrolled in the physics master's degree program at San Francisco State College (now University) in the Fall of 1969 and completed the program with reception of the degree in 1971. During most of this time, I meditated twice daily.

Here is a record of my first meditation of the gate VauBet, as recorded in my diary:

4/27/71 e.v. PM

12 min. Med. on Key 1. Good Flashing. Had brief vision of myself in a temple. Circle about me. I am the Magician. Power flows through me in a granular stream. Below me doors open and close in a great dim hall. ...
Missed the morning meditation through tiredness ... Combination of oral test jitters and psychic pressure. Started to do a paragraph by paragraph summary of R&C (AMORC Lesons) 4th degree monographs ... Have drunken about 6-8 oz. of mild liquor cordials over about 2 hrs. before this writing. Will probably get drunk tonight. The mental- psychic pressure is very high. I am nearly frantic ... This will burn out or lead to a major discovery. That is the usual.
Some of this pressure may come from my oath violations (to AMORC on secrecy) --- these are made on the basis of higher obligations than in the oaths. --- Thus I am forced into a higher state of being before I may be ready (to justly break a morally binding oath of secrecy it is necessary to have reached a higher state of development than that for which the oath was designed).

Here's part of the entry from 231 on the same meditation:

Mercury doubles itself in the duality of the claws of the crab. The bull ruses madly about the ring; the picadors will spear him to see that he charges truly. While the horsemen devil, the Magician-Hermes-Matador dances the dance of life and death with the veil of the temple between him and the fiery snorts of the bull's life. The banderilleros come to give six-fold direction to the bull's charge. The Magician takes cape and sword to play the rotation game of round-about. The fire breath of the bull is gushing forth. The moment of truth. The sword thrust into the great blood- river of the Bull. Death in the delicate tap of the escarpetio. A turn about the ring. Two ears and a tail. Torero!

As the time of my examination drew closer, I came to enter more deeply into my meditations:

Diary, 5/3/71 e.v. PM, SamekhBet

The Keys of the Tarot are kind to me. The blessings of the Angel descend as soon as the ritual is started, as if the ritual was complete. No great intoxication with these meditations. Just realization of the image of the Key. I am a distraught husband whose wife comes gently to him and lays her hand upon his cheek. She loves her child-spouse and tends his needs when he needs. She knows that in his strength he will provide his very body and soul to her least desire --- even if not to her strong need. Yet will he strive and the very striving beings the gentleness in the bower...
Oral tomorrow; many friends have sent their wishes ... "Every number is infinite, there is no difference."

I meditated in AyinBet the next morning. This left the influence for the oral to be PehBet, in Tarot correspondences, the Magician and the Tower. After the meditations I made a divination about the oral exam by the Tarot.

5/4/71 e.v.

At basis, lasting success and coming happiness. This is opposed by illusionary success and by excessive planning. At best, a partial success (but not a serious problem like failure which would push me back into the blindness of the lower places). I have an established strength now, but not an absolute one. In the past, my honesty has helped me. In the future, I shall rest from the strife of anxiety. I have somewhat of friendship and of balanced force. My environment is a defeating one ... I fear loss and I will surrender to the inevitable. ... yet the fear is not all- powerful, nor is the surrender quite perfect. In the oral I shall be coached by the inner voice of intuition, the occult forces that I have willfully invoked. Looks ok.
I was drained of most of my energy for a week following that exam, but I passed it in the way the divination had indicated.

The last meditations of the gates of Bet were made on 5/8/71.

Osiris at last (the Egyptian God of resurrection from death. "O" in the ancient formula IAO. "I" is Isis and beginning strength. "A" is Apopis and destroying boredom. "O" is successful conclusion and renewal.). A parting gift from the Magus. Some or most of the former difficulties may have been due to too much lighting (during meditation on the Tarot card). Got quite high. Used invocations (oral and projected) to inflame. Excellent flashing. Very much refreshed. Very much more powerful afterward... The meditation on the Tarot Key of the Magician lasted thirty- three minutes.
In 231: In the House, the Beautiful One, the Son of the King is nailed to the cross. A third of heaven's stars follow him to Stygia. The Light of High brings Stygia forth into day. The cross becomes the spokes of the Great Wheel; and who dances about the hub? The Fool of men and heaven ... TawBet.

I began meditation on the gates of Gimmel on May 9, 1971, Mother's Day.
This written meditation from 231 was made the next day after beginning the gates of Gimmel and it records a second- type meditation on the letters GimelBet. Bet is the Magician and Gimel is the High Priestess of Tarot.
The Lord of Fire embraces the Lady Water. Behold duality made one! Behold the triangle of Fool in Magus and High Priestess!
White Rabbit Moon!
The spark of life falls in a lightning flash into the sea. The sea receives it and multiplies it into the endless forms. Yet of these forms, there are only twenty-two sorts and these are all the same.
A diamond grows in the heart of the inflamed waters. The diamond has the cut of a cross made of cubical stones. Many colors flash from its facets. Yet all the colors come from a single beam of white light. They race about the world in the darkness of their many ways. Yet they rejoin where they began and blaze the blaze of the bornless one.
Heaven's messenger bears the Sun to the Moon. They lock themselves in carnal delight. The man falls exhausted; the woman wants more --- yet she must birth he whom she would bed. Incest in heaven and hell is the royal way.
Bet is the runnel pipe and Gimmel is a cistern. When the cistern overflows, the nymph shall go to lie upon the moss. (See Crowley's Lapidis Lazuli).

Bits of information about the Tree of Life continued to come slowly to me. 5/14/71: The Tree of Life can have only one purpose: To unite or generate opposites. Any other use is partial and fragmentary.

At this point a short break occurred in my mediations. The influence of the letters Gimmel-Nun, the gate of that time, was extended for an unusually long time. These letter correspond to the High Priestess and Death, to the Moon and to Scorpio. The Moon was in Scorpio at my birth. This break was involuntary and served to teach me several things in a very abrupt manner.
I had gone to a show of the paintings of Mary-Ann Withrow in Santa Cruz and attended a party afterwards in the home of Gary and Mary-Ann. These two people were very close to me, and this occasion became a point of change for me.
Diary, 5/17/71: Great show. Beautiful paintings. Gave Mary-Ann a copy of my chart --- her art is heavy for charts and Earth. Got drunk and spent the night in the front room. That was some party. All kinds of people and dogs. Had wine, gin, beer, etc. and one good time. Some weird dude actually bit a chunk out of a phonograph record before the guests could figure out his trip.
The experience was timed just right for me and this gate. I was intoxicated psychologically when I went. I could accept anything and everything. First time I have ever just sat and dug everything I could see at a party.
The next day, I experienced the negative side of the gate: Lost another day to illness. Came on a few hours after the last entry (in the diary). Had me embracing the Ain of the porcelain ring while casting forth offerings to Crowley upon the waters therein. Saluted Waite out the other end. Unfortunately, in true mystical form, I manifested both these extremes at once. I'll need a new prayer-rug for my hermitage ...
I spent several days in bed (when I could stay in it) recovering and reading Crowley's Moonchild.
By the 22nd of that month, I had figured out my immediate problem: My present illness came suddenly at a time when I would have been studying the gate NunGimel. ... During the period immediately prior to this, I opened myself to many ... unbalanced impressions. Since my subconscious mind has integrated the correspondences, etc., I may have psychosomatically precipitated this illness, effectively using the lunar tendency to sickness (Moon and Gimel) conjoined to the constellation of the destroyer (Scorpio and Nun) to produce the symptoms. This being the case, I should be well very soon.

The Moon repented her harshness and sent me a beautiful dream. This was a brush with Yesod, the ninth Sephira of the Tree of Life. I was not ready to be initiated into Yesod, but my labors to that end were being encouraged.

5/23/71 e.v.

I dreamed of a desert place with a cave or narrow canyon which could be entered through a tomb. Inside was a manmade pond and a fountain. The fountain was in the shape of the upturned face of the sea-god. The water issued in a single column from the mouth of the god. Yet the fountain would not function unless commanded. I told the waters to rise up. They answered my will. Whenever I commanded, the waters spouted upward. At first only a few inches, then a few feet, then a hundred feet, then a thousand, all done at my command. Yet it was hard to maintain the display, and the fountain quickly returned to a height of a few feet and then of a few inches.
Farther from the place (to the West? or North? I don't know. Only that it was "Left" of that place.) there was a place where worlds meet. I met a girl who came from a world where they fear the Sun, where the Sun burns and radiation contaminates everyone who doesn't bend closely to the ground and cover himself with a sheep skin. I brought this girl to the place of the fountain. Together we rejoiced and loved. Later we went back to the edge of her land and helped others, one or two or three, to join us in the better place. Her people were herdsmen.
I went back alone to the place of the fountain. There was one who thirsted at the door of the tomb. At first I did not want to open it. Then I saw the need and tore away the stone and the mortar. It fell in pieces and the dome and arch-way of the tomb fell with it. I entered the garden of the fountain and called it into play. Up it went, first inches, then feet, then a hundred feet, then a thousand feet --- all at my insistence. I turned to walk about in the garden.
Soon men came. They were dressed like Aztec Indians. One carried a sword and had a shield hound to his arm --- I saw it being bound. There was another sword and shield --- for me. The people had come when they saw the water rise above the hills. I was given the sword but not the shield. As the sword was being attached to my hand, I overheard the people talking.
They were alarmed that the water spout had been seen. Yet, in the old days, they said, to keep the water steady at right angles like that for six minutes was a great thing, a holy thing. I thought that I would have to fight their champion.
There was no fight. Instead, they explained to me in a vision that they feared the place and feared disturbing or awakening it. I saw that a building had stood there once, that it had caught fire and that the fire had spread to an entire town.
Then I was in a sort of house which was built up against a similar house on the other side of the border with the world of the herdsmen. There was a doorway with a hanging curtain between the two worlds. My friends went through and came back with girls. I was alone. I went to the curtain and, holding it aside, beckoned to one of the two girls who were just coming out of a similar door on the other side. I let the curtain fall and waited. Soon the girl who had seen me came in. She went to me and we held each other. She was delighted with the view of trees and gardens seen through what she called the "smoked glass" windows. I told her that the windows weren't smoked, that there was nothing harmful on the other side of them. She understood; and we loved, each the other. I know that this is the world of the herdsmen and that the world of the fountain is the place where my soul lives.
This dream is prophetic. I have seen the fountain in its tomb. I have come a way toward controlling it. I have met the girl of the burning world of shepherds. You, my reader, are the one who thirsts at the door. I have seen the first of the Aztecs and know what they fear and desire. The rest is yet to come.

On May 30th, 1971, I began the meditations on the gates of Dalet. Here are three second-type meditations from 231:


5/30/71 e.v.

The Supernal Mother Binah has received the living essence from the Supernal Father Chokmah. There grows within her womb the intricacies of the living things, the Chioth Ha-Qadosh. These are the four who will uphold the corners of the Universe. Within the Mother are we.
She is the provider ... from her came all things. Into her pass away all things. She is Lady Life and Mistress Death. The great Wheel of Fortune is but her spinning wheel, and the fibers she joins are of the very stuff of life. The Fool dances in her womb; he flows through her fingertips; he flies about the wheel. She, the Mother, sits in her garden in the cool air of the morning. She has many names and one name. She is the sky goddess Nuit. She is the crystal sea aswim with the motes of the stars. She is the Earth Mother giving birth. This last is closer to her name in DaletAleph. She stands in rushing space and opens the door of her womb. A sesame this, within the stone a cave of wonders. The riches of the worlds within the smallest seed. That seed an egg of deepest black. Within the egg an Eagle trapped, one day to fly into the Sun that melts the morning mists. Yet now the Eagle is content to be a child seated upon a lotus. He touches his finger to his lips. Does he seek silence or does he open his mouth with the tool of the ancient priests? No answer and no need of answer. At that gesture is heard the sound that is no sound and cannot be heard. Mother Kali is flatulent at giving birth. A great heave and birds sing. A moan and streams flow. A cry and the flame of the lightning strikes fire to the tinder of the world soul. The babe who is brought forth bears a silver cord and wears a silver caul. Not red, for the blood there is true blood of life's beginnings.


5/31/71 e.v.

She sits within the view of her Lord. He has taken her in his embrace. To the union the Man brought a seed. This seed is a thought which enters the egg of life and orders its contents. The Woman ceases to be the Purified Holy One and becomes the Mother. She has been touched by man and is no longer virgin. The virgin has given way to the Mother.
Within the Mother's womb lies the egg of Yeggdrasil which contains the four worlds of the Aesir. Strong is the attachment between Mother and Child. She would even conceal the part of the Father in the Child's forming. Overly protective at first, the Mother treats the Child as a part of herself and not the union of Above and Below. The Child is hers. Man is the intruder. He must go about his ways while the Child grows to ripeness. Then, like a true mother, the Mother of nature sends forth her Child into the world of outer darkness. This world is not truly darkness; it is the world of the Father. To the eyes of the Mother's Child, the male world is a cruel and violent place. The female world protects, holds, restrains and is pliant to the needs of the Child. The male world attacks, pushes, frees and bends never to a child's will. Yet the Child must learn to master both worlds.
The double heritage attends the double act of conception. Even as male begat and female birthed, the Child must come forth from the world of the Mother and must enter into the world of the Father. In the very act of birth, this event takes place for the body. From the warm and nourishing sea within the Mother, the Child violently enters the world. His first sound is a cry of rage and loss. Yet if he did dwell within forever, he would never become, he would only be a sort of growth. A growth taking up space which could be used to produce another. He must pass out the door and into the greater world outside. Yet the Mother nourishes still. She has changed the way but not the act. Before a silver cord stretched across the sea to bear all things needful. Now a slender pap reaches to the crying mouth and teaches it the first fruits of victory. Gone are the days of effortless receiving. Come are the days of the quest.


5/31/71 e.v.

The Eagle and the Serpent. The Serpent detaches itself from the Eagle and coils about the Moon. The Serpent penetrates to the inner Moon. The Moon grows graved. The Serpent's tail hangs down in a loose twining, crosslike, and Venus is born Venus.
The Virgin is impregnated and reincarnated as the Mother. The sword of the Father has driven in the defenses of the citadel. Fire raged within the broken walls. Now the once barren courtyard blooms with life in the fertile ashes. That life nourishes the wild goat, who leaps forth to repeat the act upon his mate.
When the great dipolar exchange of energies (GimelBet) took place, it left the two poles changed (DaletGimel, HayBet). Now the Woman waits. She is trained to the art. She has been given the seed of life before. Once she lingered and languished in the safe precincts of the temple. She dwelt in her own womb, waiting completion. She waited without knowing. She felt cold and distant. She was higher than anything, yet she was lonely. When man came, she feared him. Fearing him, she became colder still. Who would dare to disturb a figure of glass, a figure of precious crystal ice? Yet ice is made for ice picks. The man came to here and went into her. They trembled in her womb. She cried out in fear; he gasped in terror of his loss. Now those times are gone. The man of the Key has grown a white beard and sits upon his wife's old seat. When she needed it no longer he dragged it down beside the flow --- a seat for the supervisor, a stone to rest upon, no longer a seat for a constipated Virgin. The woman too has changed her place. She sits outside in the garden upon the table used by her husband when he was her lover. The tools of wooing are gone, they were expensive frills. Now the woman tends her garden. The days are spent in gestation, the nights in conception. The old man and his child wife don't groan so loudly any more. It has become a game. A game more of memory than of feeling. Yet love grows deeply for all of that.
One glorious, fearful, painful lusting has become the milestone in two lives for one woman. Before, she could only receive; now, she can only give.
The Vestal Virgin has become the Whore of Babalon.

I still walked the path between Malkut and Yesod on the Tree of Life. Yet there was a great flow of consciousness from higher places. From time to time the gates of Yesod would open to admit my mind. This made a foundation for the climb to come. Each Sephira and every path is found in its essential basis in the path of Taw between Malkut and Yesod. Only when all have a beginning will the climb and the self- initiation proceed beyond this path.
During this time, I continued my visits with friends and teachers. No one ascends alone. Only through the aid of others can we come to the high places.

The last of the gates of Dalet ended with this prayer of praise:

6/19/71 e.v.

For thy kindness I thank thee, my Mother.
For thy sternness I have learned to love thee, my Mother.
For thy steadfastness I shall honor thee all of my days, my Mother.

The next day, this meditation came on the shapes of the Hebrew letters and the Tarot:

Aleph is the Fool because it resembles a dancing figure.
Bet is the Magus because it shows a force penetrating an object.
             The Resh is a man with an erection, the lower line is a woman lying down.
Gimel is the woman holding on to a child --- High Priestess.
Dalet is the Empress as a builder's square and as Nuit bending over.
Hay (Golden Dawn attribution) is the Emperor as Hadit (Yod) beneath
             Nuit (Dalet) .... (This could be said to be the birth of the Star).
Vau is the Hierophant --- a man-woman standing alone.
Zain is the Lovers as a child lifted by a parent toward heaven.
Chet is the Charioteer as Hadit united to Nuit. Yod is the Hermit as a man (Hadit) alone.
Kaf is the wheel because of its circular motion.
Lamed is Justice both as an instrument of direction (goad) and as a sort of balance
             called a "steel-yard".
Mem is the Hanged Man as the Hierophant (Vau) submitting to the Wheel (Kaf).
Nun is Death as being his scythe.
Samekh is Temperance as the wheel closed back on itself, complete and in harmony.
Ayin is the Devil as a phallic symbol, as a picture of an inverted trinity, as a face
            with two horns, as a witching rod.
Peh is the Tower as the wheel with its victim crying out as he falls.
Tzaddi (Golden Dawn Tradition) is a fish-hook in shape, and in no direct
             way do I at this time see how to connect it with the word "Star."
             {But, as Emperor, it would be a human figure seated on his knees
             with his arms raised above his head}.
Qof is the Moon above the Hierophant or Hermit --- Hay again, or the Nuit and Hadit.
Resh is the Sun as the male part of the Magician.
Shin is Judgment as the three-in-one rise upward.
Taw is the world --- I can see the cross-Taw relationship from the cursive
             form of Hebrew, but not from the "flame" style of the letter. ---
             perhaps the gibbet of the Hanged Man?

The meditations on the gates of Hay began on Father's Day, 6/20/71. The first four of these meditations were of the second-type. Three of these follow from the 231 notebooks.


6/21/71 e.v.

The All-ruler receives his scepter. Magus unites himself to the Ancient of Days. There is a great roaring and a trembling. A river passes between mountains of fire and unyielding earth. Strong upon his throne, the Lord looks down. He turns his right eye and the waters darken. He turns his left eye and the waters leap and sparkle. Power flows through him like water through a sluice. He directs. He appoints. He decides.
Roses and Lilies, Violets and Lotus; now this one, not that one. Not those; yes these. The garden blooms by the art of the gardener. Not he, who grows the plants. Not he, who makes the Sun to shine. Yet he planted the seed, and he pulls out the weeds.
Four tools do a garden make; a stick, a pot, a spade and some tile. Four elements do a garden nourish; Fire from the Sun, Water from the stream, Air from the winds, and a little earth. Four things grow in a garden; life, love, dreams and death. To make a garden grow takes reason and will. Plant the seed in barren soil (Gimel). Barrenness departs and the seed puts forth a shoot (Dalet). Tend the plant (Hay).
You who love in merry ways ... recognize your child! Guide him, guard him, grow him!

Ilmarinen, mighty smith, strikes away at steel.
Quick it bends and quick it changes.
Fashion what you will.
Vainamoinen, mighty singer, sing a Tree for me.
Let it be forever green, and let it have ten branches.
On each branch let ten twigs grow
And on each twig ten leaves.
Let this Tree be tall as thee,
And give me leave to climb it.


6/22/71 e.v.

An old man after a young girl.
The Oracle of Delphi is violated. "Come O'h Pythoness and receive thy god between thy loins." She cowers back. "I am virgin sire!" "So what my dear. We are all on the verge of something. Why not step a bit farther and take a good look." "No, no, no!" "Yes, yes, yes!" "Will it hurt?" "Who? Me or you?" Thus began an age.
When the old man had finished grunting, he wiped the blood off his cock and smiled down at the recumbent Pythoness. "Of course you know what this means," she said. "What?' said he; "still prophesying after that?" "Only once more dear, the sanctuary is in ruins and Delphi prophesies no more. Help me up, I feel pregnant."
On they went, hand in hand. He led her to his palace garden and placed upon her head a crown of stars. For her dowry she gave him her seat. Not that stupid tripod, but the squared block she really preferred, a good solid bit of matter. "Sit on that and watch a while. I've got children to birth."
There he sits, encased in armor, while his young wench dyes her hair and struggles into a maternity dress.
In the old days she wore blue and white. She sat alone in a cold temple and muttered to herself. People would come and ask her things, but the answers they got were strange. She was busy daydreaming about a tall, dark stranger in red who would carry her off. He would send her a torrent of airy flame to merge with her watery womb. Maybe it did happen. She couldn't have gotten pregnant from a hairy old man, could she? O'h well, he was probably young once. It's more fun to sit outside in a garden anyway.
The Old Man sits and scowls at the river. Chastened, it flows quietly past.


6/23/71 e.v.

Yah and Eloha, Ab and Aima, Father and Mother. These two serve and fashion. The Marriage of black and white, of the Tohu and the Bohu. Father is the chaotic force which brings order. Mother is the fixed force which brings forth chaos. One in cause and effect, this pair forms and fashions. A seed was planted in the watery womb of the Mother. It grew and multiplied. The Father disowned it. He refused to believe the child his own. "Too old am I to father children. Before there was a wind fashioned of the Air, I Am." The Mother bore her burden in silence. She came to term and delivered a stone. The stone was silent. "Get out," the Father roared. "You would not be faithful! You knew what would come forth! You knew that the child would be base!" "Yes," sighed the Mother. "I knew. The fault is mine. I will take the child and go!" Off she went to the end of the new Universe.
The Father sat in silence upon his throne, little thinking that it was the child. Soon he pondered; came to wish the Mother home. Yet he knew that without her child she would not come. Still, no dumb stone belongs in Heaven. What value to the silence if it does not sing. The silence may not sing unless the silent one has the power to choose.
He sat about to make a tongue for the stone.
An age passed and the stone grew moss from its Eastern face; branches bearing leaves appeared. Yet branches and leaves could only rustle.
He waited yet another age and then cast the stone into the sea; the Mother laughed at the pun. "You would deny your child," she said. "You said that he came not to my inner sea from thee. Yet thou hast cast him into an outer sea. Admit it! He's yours as well as mine!" "Yes, but we'll just wait a bit and watch." The stone became scaled and finned. It swam about. From its Western face there came a moan. "Not yet."
Another age passed and the stone stood erect in the valley whence it fell from the mountain. It turned toward the South and cried: "Enough of this SHIT! Do you want me or don't you?!" Father and Mother laughed aloud. "Now do you recognize him," she demanded. "He's just as raunchy as his Old Man." "All right, you Bitch! I've heard the bastard. Bastard he may be, but he must be mine. Teach him to shut up and bring him home." This last task being a bit more difficult than the others, the child remained below for a time. Finally he ascended into Heaven.
After gleefully pinching his Mother's ample buttocks, he went up to his Father and demanded the Keys to the Chariot. The Old Man asked him why. "Well, you see, there's this cute little priestess out Delphi way. I thought I might go and see if I could get a little action." "Son," the Father said, "one bit of advice. When they say 'No,' ignore it. But watch out you don't get her pregnant." "Sure, see you later."

Perhaps irreverent chauvinism does not please everyone, but some of the gods like it. The only way I have ever been able to magically influence weather is through cursing the Divinity and ordering High God about like an office boy. This practice has roots in antiquity. Irreverence is often more respectful than ordinary piety. It involves more conscious thought. A god wants attention, not mindless mush.
Late in June I had a dream that gave me great and abiding pleasure. This was my dream of the Park of the Trees of Madness, the most beautiful dream that I can remember:

6/25/71 e.v.

Strange dream. First I tried to catch a bird with a desk calendar baited with ABC gum. This I did in an alleyway between a utility plant and a government installation (behind a large link fence) ... I didn't expect any luck, but just as I left, I saw a large parrot with gray, black and white markings --- except for a red patch on its head. This bird watch me as I left.
After walking very quietly through the ghetto, I came to a rotunda of concrete. High up inside was a forest of strange trees. This forest was completely enclosed by the concrete rotunda. I entered the high end (East on the "Cube of Space" but West in Oakland --- like my temple at the time with mystical East in physical West). All the people there were running from the high end of the tree-park to the low end. A storm was about to take place outside, and anybody left with the Trees would go mad with fear. The storm wouldn't reach him, but the quiet of the Trees would. The trees had long and spidery exposed roots. As we ran past, I inhabited the mind of a park director. He was sure that the people he was running with would damage one of the exposed roots in their flight and fear. Soon we were out of the rotunda, down past the lower hall --- the exit --- reminds me of a gymnasium with a lower entrance and upstairs rooms. We ran out of this and across to a barn --- same as the machine barn with its forge at home. My consciousness divided itself between the park director and someone else. This someone else was more "me." I bugged the park director by going back into the lower entrance hall of the rotunda. There was a small closet just inside the entrance way. I went to the closet, took out a small oblong block of wood set in the rear wall, and peered through small telescopes at instruments placed beneath the Park of the Trees at the center of the rotunda. My park director self was so annoyed that he left the girl he was with and grabbed my other self just as my other self was replacing the wooden block. He rushed me back up stairs and threw me into the Park of the Trees of Madness. He then ran out of the building.
Soon the park director felt remorse. He left his girl again and crept up to the tree park. There I was, in the lowest corner in a sort of classroom with large black boards between me and the trees. The boards formed a sort of cubical room with the walls of the park. There was a door into this enclosure from the outside hall of the upper level, so the park director didn't have to go directly into the open park to find me. I had covered the boards with strange, systematic writing. I was mad alright, but not with fear, just stoned.
I knew that the trees in the park came from a different world and that they did things to people's minds when they could. I showed the park director a colored diagram of how there were algae or mold patches where the roots met under ground. These were good to eat and gave trips ... A moral to the story.
Don't seek enlightenment with some narrow system and old stale ideas. Let your mind run with the foolish children who run before the lightning and who write strange- stupid books. Take a hard look at them and what they fear. Leap straight into what they fear.
Try to take some if it home with you, but don't plan to use it directly again. Only the Park of the Trees of Madness with their moldy roots contains Divine Madness. The other is for those times when there is no storm about the garden or quiet under the Trees.
The concrete rotunda of the Park of the Trees of Madness was the sphere about the Cube of Space; it was the light about my sanctuary; and it was the cranium of my skull with the Trees of Madness and their gray-green grass as the nerves and gray matter of my brain.
Thus my trip is in my head and my best stone is in my own mind. I don't need dope; but it could be a sort of mirror ... A pleasant change from the dry Qabbalistic stuff on the black boards, but drugs are just the same. The real soma isn't words or drug highs but mind madness.
Some of the images in this dream came from a story told me the day before about an encounter in Golden Gate Park.

The next day, I meditated on the gate YodHay for 23 minutes. My meditation was immensely strengthened through a chance event, a TV show of all things!

... Meditation spectacular. At 6PM, Bronson show came on TV with a nice-funky-witch-type show. Earlier I had been working (on Crowley's Lapidis Lazuli) ... and had discovered the full structure of "L.L." Prologue and Chapters I and II in terms of IAO ... when I saw the innocuous rites on the TV show, I went into my own. Some prelims,. ShinMemAleph chants, etc. Full Goetia Bornless Ritual. Very slow earth pentagram banishment. Chant of Prologue, Chapter I and part of Chapter II of Lapidis Lazuli complete with LVX to IAO. Full body involvement. When I sat down, I was wreathed and shrouded with energy. Set there conserving a while. Went into chamber and repeated Earth Pentagram banishment. Then Meditated, ... Periods when my body consciousness seemed to grow and fall --- like becoming larger and smaller. Desk top rose and fell in slow waves --- subjectively like one to three feet. Very much in control of consciousness as a whole, just riding up and down as a package ...
After this experience, I often used extensive warm-ups of ritual and chanting before meditation. The results improved considerably. The length of time in silent, unmoving meditation gradually but unevenly increased.

On June 28, 1971, Fr. Fons Numeris and I discussed the possibilities of his moving in to share my Oakland apartment. We had both worked long and hard on our spiritual development, and we had found no one but ourselves to listen to our discoveries. Loneliness is a part of this trip in the early stages. Later loneliness ends in one sense and increases in others.
Two more different people would be hard to find. F.N. had lived the life of a "Head;" I had been as "Straight" as a suit can make anybody. He had lived only in crowded surroundings; I had always lived alone. We both feared that our contrasts would be greater than our similarities. Each of us secretly said to himself; "If I can live with this one, I can take anything." There was no question of homosexuality. Both of us were too up-tight to even consider such a relationship, except for paranoia about the other's intentions. He was outwardly mellow and inwardly hard. I was the direct opposite.
In the time that we shared the same home, both in Oakland and later in San Anselmo, our characters gradually shifted. We each received some of the positive qualities of the other. We each lost the worst qualities which we had when our relationship began. Before we parted company, both F.N. and I became people who cannot be classified by terms like "Head" or "Straight." We each became a little bit of all things. Such is the reward of determination and dedication to an ideal. There were times when we bugged each other intensely, but we continued to live under the same roof for several years. We shared the vision.

I began to meditate on the gates of Vau on July 4, 1971. My state of mind is reflected in the second-type meditations below:


7/4/71 e.v.

Listen my children and heed. I tell a tale of wonders and woes. You suffer and live, you pleasure and die; but you know not. You seek and find, you possess and lose; but you know not. You desire and grasp, you honor and attain; but you know not.
Behold a single hand with two fingers held together. All things are dual and one. Yet there is more, much more to tell.
This staff I hold once went wandering upon a mountain. It cast itself into a valley and hid itself from all. It passed into many things. A Magician held it to heaven; an Empress held it to living things; an Emperor held it to stone. I hold it to you. Another will come who will hold it on a mountain top. In another's hand it will become a rake to draw in souls. Other forms it will take, a blazing torch held near the ground, at tree, a serpent and one day you. This and other things have I to show.
Sit in silence and hear my words. Bear your silence with you.
Before all these "I AM" saith the Lord. I say you ARE also.
Gaze about you. I speak in a thousand, thousand forms and in a thousand, thousand ways. I am in everything, yet I am never still. I am the essence of change, yet I change never. When you listen not, I speak. When you strain to hear, I am dumb. Not in old thoughts will you find me. I have done my work therein. In new thoughts will you see me. I care nothing of time and who said what when. I sit never in the same chair twice. My robes I change from time to time.
To find me, seek; and having sought, leave go. When you call me, I come. I wait outside your mind. When your other guests depart, I enter in.
This first meditation on the gates of Vau was the first direct and unequivocal communication between my Guardian Angel and my mundane self in writing. All earlier communications were impersonal. Here the Angel speaks as the Hierophant of Tarot. After this time such communications came more often. They have frequently come during the second-type meditations, but they have come at other times. The Angel speaks to me by any way I can permit. If I can write the words, they are written. If I can hear them, they are heard. Only once, and that briefly, have I seen the form of this Higher Self. I may hope for more.

This was written after a mediation of thirty minutes duration. It contains a few important mysteries and methods.


7/22/71 e.v.

Upon the plane a thousand teachers. Each is true. Each says all the others lie. Each teaches a tale of unraveled thread. Each speaks of warp and woof. Each casts a net to catch souls. Each tells truth with lies.
Find a faith. Stand firm in it. Be baptized with water and with fire. Affirm the opposite of the faith. Then you shall baptized with piety and apostasy.
Seek ever the opposite in every thought. Only through negation may truth flow. Set two legs upon the ground. Raise two arms to heaven. Thus you burrow and fly.
A child sits in the temple. Learned men ask patronizing questions.
How old are you?................ How young are you?
Who is your father? ............ My child.
Who are you? ................... Who am I not?
Whence did you come? ........... Where I am going.
What do you know of the Law? ... Only what I Will to Know.
The doctors of the place are confused. They cry aloud: "Who has taught such devilish lies to a child? Who has schooled such insolence?"
The child, thinking the questioning still proceeding, points to an empty room behind a veil and says: "He taught me!"
Since the shedding of blood in the sanctuary is forbidden, the elders tell the child that he is holy and that he should depart. This seems the only course.
The child walks out of the temple and journeys back to his village. His home is poor. He enters an empty room after lifting a bit of cloth which serves as a door.
The priests of the temple go on worshiping outside their Holy of Hollies. The Child dwells in His.

On July 29, 1971 I succeeded in purchasing Volume I, Number 7 of the first edition of Crowley's Equinox. This very rare book was magically summoned to aid Fr. F.N. in his work and to begin an important phase in the acquisition of a magical library. This book contained "Sepher-Sephiroth," a number dictionary composed by Allan Bennett and slightly augmented by Crowley. F.N. sought his work to confirm the labor he had undertaken, the composition of a great dictionary of Gematia (Qabalistic number-word mysticism). The work F.N. had accomplished to that date surpassed the Bennett-Crowley work. This realization gave much strength to future labors. F.N.'s dictionaries have continued to grow. When they are finally published, they will provide a source of Qabalistic discovery that will enable the Qabalah to rest upon an accessible basis for all who seek its mysteries.
The next day brought Volume I, Number 9 of the Equinox.

The meditations of the gates of Chet began on the third of August, 1971. The second-type meditations which follow are, as usual, taken from 231.


8/3/71 e.v.

Into the center of a circular pool a stone is cast. The once calm waters are set in motion. Out from the central point spreads a circular ring of disturbed water --- a wave. It strikes the edge of the pool and is reflected back toward the center. Shadows of light and dark play across the pool's bottom. The fish which dwell there are startled from their rest. They go darting about between and across the moving shadows of the ripples. Children gather about the pool to watch the antics of the fish.
A simple soul is drafted to serve in war, He knows nothing of violence and strife. Yet he learns of these and other matters. He learns of the ways of living and of dying. he learns of the ways of sparing and killing. There is much to do and much to avoid. There is a game to play which has no rules, yet must be learned. Some actions produce good effects, other ill. some of the ends require victories, others require defeats. Firm hands must guide to a goal set in the mind. This goal is always the other side of the field. It cannot be attained.
The dancer swings and sways within the place of the dance. His actions follow one another in exact sequence. They follow a plan that is known only to themselves. The dancer cannot decide his steps, the steps must decide the dancer.
Ask a banjo player if his fingers follow his mind or the strings.

This first meditation of the gates of Chet is an introductory lesson in magical attitude. The next meditation is a continuation of that lesson.


8/4/71 e.v.

In a darkened room a man stands alone. He is within a circle of fire. Without are lesser fires. The lesser fires seem to circle about the greater one as planets about the sun. The man, as the center, stands rigidly. He seems to be confined to a space like the shape of the double cube before him. The double cube is an altar. It holds magical weapons and pantacles of the planets. The man is also an altar. He also holds magical weapons and planets within his body. All that circles around him and all that stands before him have a single purpose. The outer signs call to their inner Lords. Those Lords stir in their sleep and quicken to active life. The man who dares such arts must exercise great care. Planets must have fixed orbits --- lest they topple into each other and the Sun. Weapons must be properly arrayed. Solar and Lunar currents are directed up and down, across and back, into one thing or another. With great care indeed must the Magician raise his inner centers. He must confine and attune. The forces must be held within the frame. The centers must be located and gradually focused. There are many tools in the outer temple, but these can only dimly reflect the tools of the inner temple. Great art must be employed to make the links between the outer and the inner perfect. Then and only then will the planets and weapons of the outer temple be magical --- they will also become dangerous. Hence an outer altar to serve as body and Chariot (the Tarot Key corresponding to the letter Chet) for the outer weapons. Just as two hands bear that outer altar where it may be born, so also shall two currents of the mind bear the living body and Chariot where it will be born.

The next meditation details a magical operation similar to the visions of Revelations. This affords an example of the mental visions that attend magick.


8/4/71 e.v.

The bridegroom comes in splendor to the house of the bride. Many are his courtiers. Many are his trappings. The bride is decked with the ornaments of the Moon Princess. Her beloved has the light of the Moon in his eyes.
Hear, O'h child, a tale of woe and wonder. A child of joy and sadness has come into the world. He strides upon the waste with the steps of a giant. He whimpers at the breast with the voice of a child. His mother holds him dear but she knows nothing of his ways. She cannot see his need beyond a mother's milk. This she gives willingly. He takes suck from right breast and from left. His tiny hands drum on the emptied nipples. His mother cries out and lets him fall. Down, down, down, into the coils of the serpent universe he slides. Gasping in horror, his mother flings herself after him. The two forms merge a moment as they fall. The mother's heel strikes upon the serpent's head and crushes it. It shall not eat her baby. Blood gushes from the broken fangs and rises in a flood-tide of gore. The child laps it up with glee as his mother laughs madly. What dreams the blood brings! A serpent has two heads. When one is crushed the other wakes. There comes a twisting and a churning as the snake of heaven and hell seeks to crush the babe within its coils. The coils close upon the child and he is lost within. As bones crack to dust, the serpent's body trembles. The coils are stretched apart as though they were made of rubber. The babe was but the egg of God. He's broken now and hatched. The Ouroboros is a tight-stretched belt about his center as he rises beyond the sky. His mother's marks upon his frame, he has no mind of less than all. He casts his will upon the sea like a net to raise the treasures of the deeps.

The next meditation shows the exhaustion which often follows the peak of magical will. This is analogous to and may be identical with the immediate aftermath of sexual orgasm.


8/5/71 e.v.

A dark-wet thing lies crying upon the leaves. His mother is panting slowly and softly. Her eyes are closed and there is a happy smile on her face. She reaches down and does what she must for her child.
The child is wrapped closely and warmly. He sleeps long in his bindings. The garments he will wear when he passes into the grave will resemble the shroud of earliest life.
The child grows alone with his mother. No other children enter the garden. No outsiders come to teach him the ways of men. His mother fears that he will seek the profession which his father took.
Sheltered from all turmoil, the child grows into youth. No sword or swordsman has he seen. His innocence unbroken, he is Parzival. If he remained in the garden yet a little longer he would become the seed of Buddha. This is not to be. He shall be ripped from this leafy womb untimely for such fate. Into his life will come strangers. A quest shall call to him and his unripe ears shall hear only the echo of that quest in the world. Forth in search of the echo he will fare. Many feats of strength will await him. He shall grow in power until he finds his echo in the Graal. If farther he shall go, it must be by the arts of Graal and Kundry.

After a 46 minute period of silent meditation on the letters of the next gate, this meditation came. It describes the effect of successful magical ceremony on the Magician and illustrates the after-glow of intercourse.


8/5/71 e.v.

I walk with might upon the heads of my enemies. There is no god but God. I am God. I walk with the sword of vengeance and of fire. With the might of the winds I will the worlds to rise and set upon my brow. No power has mastery over me. The flames of Hell are one with the gentle breeze of Heaven. They matter not for me. From my mouth issue fangs of light and darkness. I grind the heavens and the earth as flesh and bones for my meal. My meal sustains me not. I need it not. The mangled remains of past ages I void as waste. No mountain can be seen with me. No valley can hide me. I am Lord of Lords. I am the dominion of dominions. In the spark of lust in a boy's eye I dwell. In the gasp of a girl's lost virginity I dwell. The roar of the rising sea of the will is my name. I am beyond the voice in the silence. Yet I am the surge of electricity that crushes the testicles of an electrocuted man. I am the jest made by a man as he is beheaded. I am the first smile a man returns to a stranger. I am the first bead of sweat upon the brow of a student, a laborer and a whore.
Seek me if you are a Fool. Find me if you despise me. Lose me if you do anything twice. I am the lightning which destroys so completely that no place may endure to be the target of a second stroke.

This meditation reveals the purpose of highest magick to be unity with God. The fulfillment of sexual union is the same. On the day of this meditation, I bought the Blue Equinox in first edition and a reprint of the Equinox of the Gods.

The following meditation places emphasis on conservation of the magical-sexual force and suggests moderation between experiences.


8/6/71 e.v.

A mighty child grows slowly into manhood. Parzival is counseled on the conduct of a true knight. He realizes that might is not enough. From dumb nature he passes into reason. Moderation in desire perfects and frees will. Wild repine is disciplined into harmony.
Hear me my son! You must cease your violent madness. You are too strong for the game you play. You will destroy worlds without care. There is nothing in existence which does not speak to the soul. When you devour all things without restraint you lose the nature of things. It is a heady wine, I vow; but it is fast drunk and the lees are bitter. Sip awhile the wine of victory. Taste its beauty and enjoy its ways. The time of divine madness shall come again; for now, dwell with us.
Strike not against the stranger. You were made as well as grown. So too were others. Give the slower children time to reach thee. Play well, not with wanton violence. Create as well as destroy. Saturnalia is for Alpha and Omega; the bulk of the letters lie between. Blend your wine with water.
Remember you have now a Father, not only all-devourer but all-begetter. He moderates his ways from black to blue. Exchange Chronos for Zeus. No wheel turns in the dread silence beyond eternity. Preserve the silence of the creaking wheel.
I am like your father, concluded the wizen old king. Heed my words and become a true knight.

8/8/71 e.v.

Meditation in Turnersville, New Jersey. This included a good deal of introspection about physical violence. In early childhood I had occasionally struck my playmates in anger or frustration. This sort of thing was usually provoked and resulted in minor injury. I became very disturbed by this violence. As a result, I withdrew from physical attack. By the time I entered High School, I had become incapable of striking a blow in anger. I avoided occasions of violence and the more violent forms of activity. Physical Education became abhorrent to me ... I avoided it whenever I could. I grew to detest sports and most forms of social activity. Eventually this led to prudishness and a total rejection of emotion. I set my goal on becoming a scientist, later a physicist. This goal I attained, and found wanting. By rejecting violence at too early an age and by the extreme nature of my rejection I had seriously arrested my human development. In terms of the Tree of Life, I had become obsessed with the left hand path and had abandoned almost all levels of consciousness but Hod and Malkut. Yesod tormented my dreams and Netzach tortured my waking hours. All this was the result of denial of emotion and elevation of the intellect beyond its proper place. The time had come to reassess the situation. Great changes had occurred in the last two years. These changes were largely the result of meditation. My evolution resumed. I returned to adolescence to learn the lessons of a man.
Perhaps the most serious retarded development that needed attention involved sexuality. So greatly had I fallen behind in my growth in this area that I hadn't even masturbated until my twenty second year. This harmless and innocent activity is a major outlet for the disturbing energies that lead to violence if not directed. Because I took so long to come to so simple a solution, I long suffered from meaningless fears and frustrations. At puberty I ran to fat instead of after girls. I abstained from social sexuality from fear of harming others. This fundamental misconception was intensified by the religious dictates of the Roman Catholic Church. I had to break with this faith of my childhood, for it nearly destroyed my life for God and Man. Perhaps someday I will be partly reconciled to Christianity, but I will never again accept the dictates of external authority over the workings of my mind and soul. External religion exists only to coordinate the efforts of believers. God has no direct part of religion. Religious faith attaches to God through the human soul. Without the inward link to God, religion is only social. I believe in God and dedicate my life to God, by I reject the established religions as mediators of my union with God. One can find fellowship through religions, but no external source can replace God's quiet inward voice. Especially useless are the fearful counsels of sex-hating, celibate priests and nuns. Sexuality is the religion of nature. Procreation is not the primary object of sexual union --- nor is it to be rejected as less than a beautiful secondary purpose. People have sex to become one. There is no more perfect prayer or greater Magick.
At this time, I came to believe Virginity to be the most dire form of sexual perversion, the utter frustration of all its proper ends. It took more than another year before this great hatred of my own virginity subsided enough to permit a reconsideration. Some of the meditations which follow will trace this interior battle and its consequences. Only when I could no longer hate my lack and need of sex could my development in this area continue. While virginity remained with me, I ceased to fear it. Had I the habits of successful adolescence, I would have surpassed this limitation long before. I awaited with longing for my second birth.

On the 12th of August, I came to these conclusions:

I observe that magical workings of the more extreme sort are probably improper for me until I have:
1) engaged in heterosexual intercourse.
2) lost about 30 pounds or more.
3) found a better place to live.
4) established a more stable income.
5) studied more.
This, of course, does not imply any alteration of the current course of events. Specifically; no blood offerings, no physical abuse, no sex magick, no group workings, no active attempts to start a cult.
Basically what will be needed is: more meditation, study, physical control, mental control (control = discipline), modesty of claims in conversation, etc.
Most of the above conditions should be worked out within the day, month and year (correct!). Two to three years should see me ready to practice in very earnest (Subsequent events did not greatly alter this assessment. The time was shortened somewhat.). Before then, many of the established rituals will be worked as training for the Great Work of devising and executing ritual.

On the 17th, I went to New York and did some book hunting. I failed to get another Equinox, but I did get a first edition of Stenring's translation of the Sepher Yetzirah. This book freed me from slavish dependence on the system of the Golden Dawn. I have retained the Dawn system in most of my work, owing it its superiority over other western systems in wide use. I use it as an available language, not a doctrine. My experiences and meditations may be understood by the users of any occult system, but what I have written will be most easily and completely understood in the Dawn system and in Crowley's revision of that system. On the same day that I purchased the Stenring in New York, Fr. Fons Numeris purchased a reprint of it in California.
When I returned by air to California, I had a brief stop-over in Chicago. I used my time there to check book stores by phone. This led to more copies of the Equinox.
I returned home to my apartment in Oakland on the 24th of August, 1971. That was the first day of my mediations on the gates of Tet. With these gates, I began to redirect my sexuality into proper emotional and rational channels.
Until I was able to face the implications of my sexuality, I could not advance beyond the path of Taw into Yesod. The passage was finally made through mind.

My higher self gave many counsels during this time. This next example advises simplicity and openness in contacting the personal God.


8/26/71 e.v.

One follows another; chained links of a silver belt go by. They know nothing and they say nothing. A man comes to number the links. He casts images upon them and calls them gods. His gods are dumb. His prayers are sent from one end of the belt around to the other. There is no end. How may the girth be tightened or loosened? What can a man do when his very gods are mute? To dance and leap and run requires only a place to stand. There is no need for many things. No eyes to watch. No voice to speak. Call to the wind and hear in its whispers what you will. Take a bit of clay and mold it into your own form. Pass the clay through fire and dress it in doll's clothes. Set it on a throne of glass and burn waste before it. Call upon it for oracles and forebodings. It will answer not. Why have gods who are silent, without will? Why pray to stone and steel and earth and air? May as well ask water of the doings of fire.
To find a god, rest still and hold. Draw on time and dizziness. Ask nothing. Send your mind into a dark place of fears and madness. When you withdraw you will have seen and heard God. Yet all the time you will be alone.

The gates of Yod began on September 5, 1971. These meditations brought increased skill, began the search for a place to live and work, and laid the foundation for major changes in the technique of the meditations.
The first of these Yod meditations counseled detachment from worldly concerns. All such things are subject to exaggeration --- they move the body but the soul need not be disturbed. Another force moves the soul.


9/5/71 e.v.

Darkness reigns, and light is but a point in the primeval night. On a lofty peak stands the wizard of the land of dreams and wakening. He leans upon his staff, old but strong. He is alone as no one else has ever been. Wind howls about the crags, but stirs not the least hair of his head and moves not the folds of his garment. To the mad children below there sometimes comes a wind which is no wind. A wind is heard where none is felt. Trees are seen to blow and come crashing to earth; yet, in the morning, all is as it was; no trees have fallen. Such it is with the Old Man. For him all winds have ceased to blow save the soft breeze of the soul. The storms that hurl mountain tops at one another are but silent shadows to the Watcher. In him blows a Wind of Winds. In his every part there is a rushing and a whirling which knows no end and no beginning. Pitying the children of the low places, the Watcher raises his lamp over the Abyss. Forth from the flame of the lamp he directs the Wind to blow. It courses to the six directions of space, this Wind which moves nothing, yet is ever blowing. In the quiet places of the valleys the wind of the flame goes questing for a soul. It finds its way between the trees and stones and enters at last into the heart of a child. The child stirs in his sleep as he seems to see tall trees moving and blowing in a silent wind. Calling aloud the child wakes. About him nothing moves, yet dimly now he hears the sound of the Wind.

The next meditation ran the gamut of distractions and exposed such things to my attack. One change that came of this was a reduction in the importance of the amount of objective time involved in a meditation. I had confused the time a meditation lasted with the quality of the meditation. After this I began to avoid thinking about the time during meditation. The duration was recorded with interest, but only as a measure in the outer world of the body, not the inner world of the mind.


9/5/71 e.v.

I sit in the accustomed place and compose myself. A comfortable position, upright and secure. I close my eyes, or fasten their gaze upon a thing unmoving, simple and solitary. I'm off.
What time did I start? Ah, yes, 7:08. Let's see if I can get it up to thirty minutes. How about an hour! Stop that! Don't think about the end of the meditation! Don't think! I feel a drawing sensation. Magical lines form between me and the picture. I wonder what time it is? Run down to the store. Get some toilet paper ... I feel a sense of excitation. My muscles are slowing changing my posture --- that's it. The card's flashing. There are dim images of other things now. Flashlight batteries for the radio. I'm going up. Light changes and forms appear. My vision is unfocused. Oops, I just focused again. Maybe it will help. Strange marks on the card. --- words --- sure. I mus'n't examine them now. Later. --- I bend close to guess at a word. Car noises in the street. What's a car? Ah! I don't know, I must be gettin it on. A car is a motor vehicle that serves as trans. ... Nuts! Give up? Keep it on. My chair creaks --- I start. Electricity by God! Where was I? I shouldn't sense these things. Breathing is regular. Stop that! Not the breathing, the monitoring. Stop thinking about thinking! Can masturbation restrict Kundalini force! I hope not. My cock still has feeling in it so that should be ok. As a matter of fact I'm a little horny. Good. Back to the meditation. Should I concentrate on my cock or my throat or my chest or my head or my whole body or what? I should do whatever works. Here it comes. There it goes. I looked and the whole thing fizzled out. What time is it? Bet I've been going a half hour. Probably not. If it's noticeable it's not there. I feel like stopping. Of course not! Now's the time for the big one. I can't feel my hands! I'm on! I feel my hands. Oh fuck! That's it. Ahh... The time is ...
And another one: This time less distraction. Emotional contentment predominates. Spontaneous distractions arise but pass under willed indifference and resignation. A key is found in active resignation. All distractions, physical sensation or thoughts alone, are embraced by a simple love and forgotten. The body falls away and only a slight awareness of it remains. The meditation is broken several times by waves of motion seen in stationary objects and by sudden side-slips of objects held in sight. Highest levels are reached after resignations and after superficial distraction --- just enough to draw attention from the act of meditation but not enough to start an emotion-laden train of thought.

The following written meditation followed an unforced meditation in silence of 80 minutes duration. The time in the mind was much less than the time in the physical world. The subject of the meditation was profound and the experience powerful.


9/6/71 e.v.

A stone shines in darkness. From its many facets go rays of lambent force. They are as the spines of a sea creature which radiate with purposeful strength. Upon the spines are spun webs of spiders and of dreams. The webs veil the stone. They catch the light in their narrow filaments and glow as lines across the cosmos. Who can see to count the facets of the stone? About us nothing but filaments of force and light. They travel endlessly and purposelessly. Why dream of follies and seek to unravel the mind-knot? Draw strength to a bursting of your soul and body. Make of it a shaft of hardened fire and light. Yourself the point of the lance. Fly into the Gordian madness. Burst the strands of mindlessness. Strike through into the heart of the cube. Strike out the spark that is god. Set your raging fire in the place of shattered cube and dethroned god. In a moment all is burned away, even yourself, even the flame. Darkness grows as the closing jaws of a dragon of ice about the burned cinder of you. You see but cannot think. You feel but cannot touch. Far out in the darkness a thin radiance takes form. Far, far out the edges of a vast cube form as smoke-blue specters in the vastness. You are in the center as the edges become your extensions. Filaments project and webs begin to form.
Sound example and advice. This method works!

The next meditation was weak:

5 min. on Keys 9 & 4. 231 & Yod. Meditation perfunctory. I am distracted by my guests having sex together last night. Maybe I'll get in soon. In the mean time I'll hang on.

My Angel began forcing attention to my sexual immaturity through events in the physical world. This manner of instruction was long in the teaching.

This example exposes my state of consciousness at this time. Some of the dialogue reported may have been hallucinated --- otherwise, the description is factual.


9/7/71 e.v.

"Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law."
In the darkness come sighs and sounds of love. I lay without. I sweat and shake. My will is to enter into the joys --- yet I hang back. Reason tells me that advances are welcome. Yet I do nought but sweat and shake. My mind invents coverts and overts to perplex my desire and to shroud it from fulfillment. I will go only to look, to see if love is truly free. Yet I hang back. Too strong the drive, too strong the doubt. Fire wrestles fruitlessly with chains of life-long cowardice. Only a sweat-soaked bed to show.
Voices come. "Should I go to him? He heard me too." ... "If he wants to, he'll come here." Oh, yes! But how? I can scarce sit this bed let alone navigate there. I've lost my erection! Not in pleasure have I lost it, but in waiting. Not in ejaculation but in hopelessness. How go there? Am I to stammer out "Ffff - fa - fa - fuoo - oo - fuck!"? No way. How abet, should she come here, I'll manage some way. Thus grasping on dim hopes I sweat and shake the hours away. Four times, more or less, she comes into the room next to mine to make ablutions. Can I call out? No Sir! Dim hope hides behind false plan, and no whispered "Hi!" is heard. What to do? No way is open. By defying true will at first approach and later, currents of bliss teach the same lessons behind banks of cold pain.

Bashfulness is a hard thing to pass through. Time and magick did it, but not easily.

The Angel is not adamant in forcing lessons. Respite is always granted when willingness to learn is manifested. This meditation came.


9/8/71 e.v.

Come to the celebration of Life! Give joy to the wind that it bear you upward. Shake loose the wings of fire that rest upon your back. Spread wide those gleaming wings. To your hand comes a radiance not to be mistaken. Tendrils of light twist and spin about. Tell thoughts to the air and watch them glow in lambent flame. Send out a blade of light to send happy phantoms tumbling away. Rise up to embrace the Sylphs. They dance on their wings as yours move slowly, ponderously, bearing world after world dustily up from the caverns. Crystal and amethyst are the wings. Glowing clouds shape moment by moment to your passing will. Dim scenes are formed with gray puppets moving in frames of flaming vermilion. No earthly sky can be where such visions exists; no ground, no Earth can abide. Only the spirits of air, fire and water swim the sky of dreams. Dragons form and vanish with their crenelated splendors. All do homage in sinuous dance to their creator.
Yet all this stuff is but the passing of a moment. There is some small and hidden key, a latch to turn to direct the magic-lantern show upon a screen in the larger mind we call the World Outside.

I derived great pleasure from the presence of my guests as soon as I got over my sexual freak. Much love grew in small ways.
As a blessing of this quiet love, my Angel sent me a gentle happening.

9/12/71 e.v.

While writing ... a dandelion seed entered my room unnoticed and settled itself on the arms of Shiva (a statue of Shiva dancing in a ring of twenty-two flames) --- the holy shrine above my desk. ...
The seed looked so like a star burning clear and silver in the arms of Lord Shiva that I fixed it there with a drop of glue ... (In retrospect, it would have been far better to let it drift away. This act itself was symptomatic.)

After a 42 minute meditation --- for all its medium length, the best to that time --- a special technique of meditation was recorded. This method became a standard in times of trouble and in times of great ease. No surer way to quietly break free exists than simply to seek the moving point that moves not.


9/21/71 e.v.

Take firm in hand thy soul. Sit fixed, not rigid, not relaxed. Send thoughts about the place. let one thing be another. Dreams lie. Eyes see. What can you see? Gaze into the depths and heights of the soul. Find a flitting lightness that is madness. Let it fasten on nothing. Trace letters and swirls and volutes with the divine spark. Let it alight nowhere. Draw near. Rush around. Go past. Fly back. Trace letters of glowing gold in pentagrams of lambent glory. No hand moves in flesh. A single white- glowing finger writes each line. The chariot of the mind is drawn at breakneck speed by a diamond point of gray light. Eyes are the hands on the reins of this chariot. No calmness and no terror. Only swift dartings and rapid motions. Why call aloud? Why move about? Follow the darting thought. It has no substance of its own. It clothes itself in forms of things. Grant it no rest. Let no form be assumed. Swiftly passes the point of being and ending. Nowhere may it focus. Nowhere may it be. Nowhere may it end. Substance it has none. Substance is not granted it. In wild abandonment the thing that is thought and nothing to think of rushes in and out, above and below. Darkness grows. Dimness in the mind. A chance to sleep. Yet chance refused. Thought may not even rest in that. Through the veil of sleep refused passes thought. Light blooms slowly as did darkness. By its new extremity, thought fixes on a higher plane. Light grows in all surroundings. In body grows a libidinous fire --- yet cold as a draft of air. The head wears a wreath of thick air as the light grows brighter. Then back the spent will. Slowly the light and other sensations fade. One step has been briefly touched. The soul has by main-strength pulled itself upward. Yet unexercised and unenduring, it settles back. Strive often and attain in earnest.
Construct a chinning-bar of aspirations and build muscles of madness.

This is one path to expand consciousness. The meditations later brought a way to hold the goal attained. Freedom from desire and from major fluctuations in the mind strengthens meditation. The rapid dartings of thought prevent narrow concentrations of attention. By this means stillness of thought is obtained through motion of thought.

The next meditation brought peace and a vision of the Chakras.


9/22/71 e.v.

Take no heed of day-to-day. Hope not. Seek not. Live ever in the brilliant flame of being. Shine the light that has no source. Fashion feelings and sensations. Gaze with the look of a cretin upon wonders beyond wisdom. No understanding can pass. Now wisdom can reach. Fire without heat. White-golden radiance inhabiting the very air. What can anyone do to be in such glory? I exist. No being, only light. From the light craft a body. The body make like your old shell. Let the shell be a frame-work to the pattern. About the temples and the rear of the skull a band of many-petaled light, a loose crown of soft and multiple touching. Hair gone to Glory. About the throat a band of wonder, holding tight yet yielding to the breath. Within the chest a golden radiance. It fills more than a body. Yet it is more than heart and lungs. Within the loins burns a buzzing glows. Pleasure is there in gentle sensations beyond description. The whole is a body like a beam of solidified light making love to a Universe of light and being loved sensually in return. What wheel? I am the axis of a wheel of wheels.

The basis of my consciousness changed. I gained the quiet inner life that is the seed of the Tree of Life. This seed has grown.
I learned a needed secret, a method almost too simple to believe.

The secret of holding the high seems to be in simply recognizing no need to terminate the mental state of the meditation. ... it should be possible to keep a cumulative effect ...

This eventually freed me from the wheel of twice daily meditation and enabled me to live equally in the physical and higher worlds. The meditations continued, but time had no dominion over them after this discovery. Close retirement from the world of living men had ended. Gradual return began.

The time was coming to build up a version of the Tree of Life in the physical world. My thoughts moved with magical force toward Malkut. I sought a holy place for the work.

The next meditation brought a vision of the Cube of Space of the Sepher Yetzirah. This was one of the tools needed for remaking my world. Later, I devised a ritual for this Cube of Space whereby it may be built up in the astral as a microcosm of absolute strength. This meditation ritual is given in Appendix D. Here is the first form in which this ritual manifested to me:


9/23/71 e.v.

Behold a vision of the frame-work of the Wheel.
Aleph --- a glowing pillar of yellow air and life itself stands fixed in the Abyss. For infinities above and infinities below its passage is unbroken. About the shaft are twined two serpents. On the serpents are each two heads. They intertwine their yellow bodies in living convolutions ... about the radiance of Aleph.
Bet --- above, a shining pool of yellow water looks down upon creation. Gravity is not defied, gravity is justified. Within the pool are stars which swim like fishes. Where Aleph enters are pools of iridescent yellow and while. Thus the canopy of Bet.
Gimel --- below, a pool of blue of night. Darkness lives to floor the Universe with calmness. Into the heart of the pool enters Aleph like a shaft of love into a womb of desire. Dim shapes dance in the glory of fire in water as fishes swim like stars. Thus the place of Gimel.
Dalet --- to East, a wall of verdant green to hold the loveliness of living things. From the sheet of golden heaven to the floor of midnight blue there is a fertile mixing to produce the green of the Mother's garments. Through the wall of Emerald enter the living children; through the door of Dalet.
Hay --- to North-East stands a scarlet sentinel. He is a radiant line against the encroachment of disorder. From North-East emanates a Father's cares and labors. By Mother's side he stands, reaching Heaven and Earth in single pose --- stands Hay.
Vau --- to South-East rises a column of Red-Orange splendor. This is the ever wakeful watcher who guards the children's play. He counsels at the side of the Mother concerning that which is above and below --- counsels Vau.
Zain --- above the Eastern gate of Heaven rests the lintel of the door. Upon its Orange-glowing substance are written these words: "Remember that ye love one another. Stand firm as these two pillars that are wardens of the door. Be joined like them in me or be sundered by the sword called Zain."
Chet --- below the East face rests a boat for voyage of the sea. Enter it O'h you who are children and voyage past the Pillars of Hercules --- voyage in the Yellow-Orange protection and security of firm Chet.
Tet --- high in the North shines Yellow the reflected glory of the Morning Star. He rides high in the pool of Heaven even though he is hidden when he seems below. Aspire O'h children to his serpent's strength. Call to the Peacock Angel if you will. Soon shall come answer to your call --- answer from a hidden Tet.
Yod --- below the North is upraised a warning hand. The seas beyond this point are uncharted. Strange monsters and terrors await beyond this water gate of Yellow-Green. Do not go unprepared through the gate whose basement cope is Yod.
Kaf --- in the West is heard a sound of great beauty and of great danger. There the sirens call to mariners at sea. Danger threatens in the Violet stones of the sea of the West. Yet gold is there in the heights of that stony place. A place to try your fortune --- Kaf.
Lamed --- in the North-West stands a tall Green tree. Upon it are boughs of heavy weight. Yet it stands tall between the waters, both above and below, for its weight is equal to each side. Deep go its roots in Heaven and its branches brush the Earth. Thus stands the tree of Lamed.
Mem --- blue waters rush across the Abyss in a race from Mother East to Mountain West. The waters mingle with the air of life in the center of creation. There is no need to fear the fall of the waters of this ever-flowing stream into the seas above or below. It runs firm and true in its bed between yesterday and today. Thus flows the midmost sea called Mem.
Nun --- in south-West stands a Blue-Green column of foreboding aspect. Yet its color is that of life and of the sea ... Nun is the change in the restless seas admixed with the forms of living things. Thus stands the spawning place of fishes and stars --- stands Nun.
Samekh --- a Western sky alight with rays of faint Moon- light. The Blueness of that place is a rest to the weary and a reward to those who climb the West wall. Yet not for long may the rectified of North-West remain in rest. Soon the well known fate of South-West draws them into graves --- from the harmony of Samekh. Ayin --- below the West, upon the margin of the lower sea,
lies open the Blue-Violet mouth of Hell. There are the souls of damned children. From that place comes moans ...; yet no fetters hold the unhappy ones at the feet of Ayin.
Peh --- Red glory of a fire in the North gate. See now the warning of Yod. It is a path to tread, yet only those who ride the horses of thunder safely venture there. Burned bodies of false creatures fall from a mouth of a more terrible Hell --- from the mouth of Peh.
Qof --- Crimson light upon the desolate docks beneath the southern gate draws strange shadows to the right and left of that last cold place. Children leave the Boat of Earth by this holy shore. The quiet place of life's last weakness --- the shore of Qof.
Resh --- glory of the Orange star of the eternal Southern Dawn, glory to the children at the joy of their homecoming. Brighter than a thousand suns of Earth is the glory of the open gate of life eternal --- life of Resh.
Shin --- from the bow of the Father of Lightings leaps a shaft of fire. Across the Abyss from burning North to glorying South leaps the flame. Fire, water and air mingle with great report in the center. Thus the act of Red Shin.
Taw --- Darkness brighter than all the light that ever was burns in the center of creation as the God of All takes up his throne amid the conjoined elements --- the six rayed cross, the throne of Taw.

The next meditation dealt with proportion. I had often experienced trouble in doing things because of wrong circumstances, wrong mood or physical discomfort. This difficulty decreases through careful choice of activity to suit circumstance. I usually tried to ignore external conditions, and this was long a source of frustration.


9/24/71 e.v.

Ask not for warm days in Winter. Seek not snow in Summer. To each event and each activity a time, condition and circumstance is appointed.
Some days are suited to examination of the glories of the soul. Some days are proper to the elaboration of those glories. The canvas is behind the paint all the time, but do not look to see it from the front. When the body and the mind join to give a mild disorientation, without impairing the imagination, that is the time to experience what drifts in the astral. When body and mind are sluggish but obedient, there is insufficient fluidity of view. At later times build the unseen; labor now at what can be done. Yet never twice the same. Now, all is ripe save responsive memory. Now, all is well for memory but not the rest. Attend what's there.
Yet somewhat this may deceive. A time of forced growth may find natural growth in its wake and not let it be recognized. When a mind concentrates on setting free the reins of constraining emotions and enlisting more obedient ones, the mind may soon be free and high. Yet how's the state to be recognized when that which opposed is gone. Without contrast there is little to see. Perhaps a state of consciousness, once attained, looks much like any other state --- yet is not like any other. In despair attention wanders from the course appointed and by degrees the hard won ground is lost. Let not this happen! When feelings lessen it is only another part of growth. After Isis comes Apopis. Only then is attainment rectified and made permanent. Only after symbolic death may Osiris be reborn.
For doubters let a single look be given. All that's there is all that was. Only old presence has habituated the mind to mark not what it knows too well. Soon the changed will change the changed and thus the change will grow. Between discovery and full possession must a time elapse.

These same thoughts were paraphrased in the last of the second-type meditations of the gates of Chet:


Call the tale of the wheels within wheels. Answer that call with all that is within you. Forth go whirlings. Everyone is a part of every other. No void exists. None can exist. Within the mortal housing turn great wheels of wonder and power. Bearing on these wheels are many levers. Each lever is driven by a single thought. Each thought says sometimes "No," then "Yes." Sometimes "A little more." sometimes "A little less." These thoughts are the escapements of the wheels of more than mortal power. The whole of a man's mastery is in the governing of these thought-levers. If his will is weak, he will not set the levers strongly enough. If his will is troubled, he will not settle clearly which lever is to govern which wheel. If he is as all men, he will set wheel turning against wheel in his confusion, doubts and vacillations. The wheels are immortal. The levers are immortal. Man's body is the only point of weakness. When wheel moves against wheel the body breaks. These breaks afright the soul. The soul inhibits proper control by pulling thought-levers at random --- upsetting the good as well as that which works harm. Thus pain and sorrow.
Yet even these, yet these, the very wheels of power are dreams before the things beyond them. And those things beyond are less than dreams before the One-Thing. And the One-Thing is not before the NO THING WHICH NEITHER IS NOR IS NOT.

I evolved a series of exercises for the period of intensive meditation that precedes the written meditations. These exercises are usually done in the mind alone, but they can be done aloud with appropriate movements of the entire body. The first of these was a simple recitation of Crowley's Lapidis Lazuli from memory. Only the Prologue and first chapter were used in this way. This poetic work holds strong images, ranging from very mundane to very startling. The whole recitation, silent or aloud, prepares the mind for deeper meditation. The poem was usually followed by the Lesser Pentagram Ritual of the Order of the Golden Dawn. This ritual clears the mind and establishes an astral barrier against obsessions and trivial thoughts. The Pentagram Ritual was followed by a ritual projection of the Yetziratic Cube of Space. This projection establishes a magical universe about the mind. Effectively, the Cube is a three-dimensional magical circle that reinforces and extends a similar circle produced by the Lesser Pentagram Ritual. Various other special mediations and techniques were added and tried at different times. My own version of the Lesser Pentagram Ritual is given in Appendix C. My Cube of Space Projection ritual is in Appendix D.
Ritual exercises are very valuable in several ways. Recitation of poetry helps to quiet the mind and affords a rhythm for thinking. The actual bit of poetry used is not a matter of much consequence. It is only important that the poetry stir the mind with many images. Good meter is useful in recitation, and it can be significant in silent use. Various techniques of chanting and vibration are worth trying. Complex, short rituals like the Lesser Pentagram are very good for mental projection. The various motions and perambulations of the imagined body are often the hardest things to project or visualize. When such visualizations are successful, they increase the powers of the mind. Centering rituals like the Cube of space are a good way to maintain balance and control in mediation.
More will be said about these various matters below. The various works by Aleister Crowley are especially valuable for information on rituals and meditation techniques.

In September of 1971, I saw a film bases on the historical case of the possessed nuns of Loudun, called The Devils. This film provided a curious experience. Almost the entire audience was appalled at the horror of the thing. Fr. Fons Numeris and I enjoyed it as a fine comedy. I take this to be a sign of detachment from some of the ridiculous fears that plague the majority of humanity. The film presented a beautiful combination of ridiculous behavior. The historical accuracy of the thing made it even more funny. If the people who were so disturbed at its brutality had seen its lighter sides, they might have lost many needless fears. Most of the things we think of as "heavy" or "oppressive" are no more than jokes, ill understood. It is well to remember that God has a rather large sense of humor.

A meditation on the gate SamekhKaf provided curious visions.

From my Occult Diary, 9/27/71 e.v.

At times visions came. Yet these visions were gentle and not burning in pain. They were of light. In one, I perceived myself, in white brilliance, climbing up out of a hole of light into a cubical room of light. In another vision I beheld a vast plane of light with men (the 24 Elders) dressed as sages in shining garments. I was welcomed and shown a place reserved among their number for myself. There were scenes in which I was being incarnated into the form of one of the sages, his = my face before my face of flesh. So close to desire and so seemingly amenable to my will was this series of visions, that I decided to dismiss them as selfwilled and created. Yet when I came to do the gates, I found that a meaning of SamekhKaf is throne --- that of Ezekiel's vision and of God. The gate fit the whole experience and vision.
My meditations had grown a bit stale. Each of them carried much power in many ways, but something was lacking. I experienced great joy and was carried to high places, but something was needed to bring the whole into perfection. I could continue to unfold internally as long as I wished, but this was not enough to be my whole purpose. Part of the problem lay with my Oakland apartment. I was free to make many alterations, yet I was not in my own house. I craved an outer dwelling into which I could reflect my inner experiences. I needed a magical house.
Marin county seemed the place to look for such a house. It was close enough to San Francisco and the East Bay to offer good chances for work, and it had a pastoral quality that I craved. To be in a place where people smiled at strangers and took no offense at trifles was my desire. I had enough money from an inheritance, and I took the necessary steps.
The gods showed their agreement with my plan. I called a real estate agency over the phone and arranged for an appointment to be shown houses. Several days later I went to San Rafael to see what could be found. This journey seemed at first to be a failure. No one was at the agency office to greet me or to keep the appointment. Through lack of anything better to do, I waited a little over a half hour.
At last a person came. He knew nothing of my appointment, but consented to show me listings and to help me if he could. Neal Farley, that was his name, did well by me. I spent about an hour going over the listings for homes. I found few, and most of those proved to be no longer on the market. Armed with a small collection of possibilities, we set out to look at houses.
While passing through San Anselmo, Farley suddenly cut off the main street and ran the car up onto a traffic island. He had thought of a place to show me that we hadn't considered. "This house," he said, "is a little over what you want to pay, but it's overpriced and they'll come down." I went with him to look.
The house had minor interior damage from settling foundations and the like, but it was magnificent. There were many large, well placed rooms. Through careful use of several doors, the house could be divided into three distinct living spaces; no problem with privacy. Most important, the master bedroom was perfect to serve as a temple! The house I sought had to have enough rooms to leave one free for consecrated use and study. This house was surrounded by an ample and wild garden --- all the better!
Reluctantly, I took leave of this first, chance example of what I needed in a home. Farley took me to see several other places. All were too small and too public. All were occupied --- the idea of waiting on a lease was too much. My thoughts kept coming back to the first house. It was twice the size of any of the others and perfect in all respects. There were good omens about the place. Behind the house itself there was a small lattice house for plants --- much like the oratory described in The Book of the Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mage. The realtor's sign in front of the place was for the "Abrams" co., a word play on the name Abramelin and the name of Abraham, the editor of that same grimoire. These omens did not decide me, but they confirmed me in my liking for the place. Eight rooms and a large garden --- just what I needed. The owner was asking $32,000; a thousand dollers for each of the thirty-two paths of the Tree of Life! I asked Farley to see what he could do.
Several days later, I learned that the owners had reduced their asking price to $29,000 before being contacted and were willing to listen to an offer. After weeks of legal proposals and inspections, the house was reduced in price to $26,000, and tentative agreements were signed. This number too has symbolic significance. The numerical value of the Tetragrammaton, the great name of God of four letters, the name Jehovah, HayVauHayYod, is equal to 26 by the ancient Qabalistic method of gematria. I bought the house at a price a thousand times blessed by the name of God.
I first saw the house under the influence of the gate QofKaf, on September thirteenth, 1971 e.v. I took possession on November 5th, 1971 e.v., between the gates of Kaf and Lamed, halfway through the meditations on the 231 gates (twice repeated). I had purposely delayed the meditations so that this exact point would be reached. Half the meditations were done while I lived in Oakland. The other half began in the house in San Anselmo. The delayed meditations were not broken ones; I had learned to stretch time in the physical world without altering time in the inner world.
In my new home, the events of the soul became mirrored in the forms and events of the environment. This had happened before to me, but not so profoundly or so completely.

The stretching of the time between meditations was not easy at first. My diary for November 1st records: "I pine for the time of regular meditation. It is harder to endure life without it. This is the last gate meditation before the gates of Lamed. May the matter of the new house be soon concluded. It is as though I am a lover abstaining from my beloved --- that our love might burn the brighter."
Although I started sleeping in my new home almost at once, things had to be done before I could properly begin the meditations in it. I had to prepare the temple. This I did, painting it black on walls, windows and ceiling all in a single night. I consecrated it by Act of Will, to Binah, the third Sephira on the Tree of Life. I undertook to consecrate other rooms to other Sephiroth of the Tree.
I brought to my new home an old blacksmith's forge and tools from the family ranch in the north of California. Heidricks have lived there for more than a hundred years. The forge was used by my grandfather and my father. I shall use it to craft what will be needed in the time of need.

The familial Gates:

BetAleph---Father---- Yod

My Higher Self began to teach me how to externalize my meditations in works. Before this could be done, currents of mental force had to be measured and adjusted. The next meditation brought a vision of these forces and of that which moves in all things.


11/30/71 e.v.

The Lord of the Sacrifice welcomes his gift. Set the order of the ways in shadows of eternal darkness. A river flows in ordered silence between its banks. Few know of its existence. Even the river-master thinks little of it. Yet it flows and bears all traffic from one port to another. Well ordered indeed is the river which is kept in silence between its banks. What comes is received. What departs is let go. No hanging back, no hindering, no regrets. Why should a check be made in a perfect flow? Should not eternity be left eternal? Answers and questions there are none. An artist of high renown set the river in its place. It's not for bosuns to contemplate a change.
With season, the river rises; it overflows its banks. Yet all is order still. The spreading waters journey into channels and into prepared places. Harmony prevails in the flood as in the flow. This is the true sacrifice. If blood would flood or flow --- so be it. One river is like to another. Husbandry depends on the flood as much a the flow. Harm cannot come where there is a channel well prepared and a grave to receive. In time, commerce. In time, the inundation.
Life is a flowing and a flooding river. Sacrifice to the perfection of the whole.
There is a current which flows in and beyond matter. Sacrifice to its perfection and ascend in radiance of its waters.
The sacrifice is of the Lesser Will, that places doubts in the way of action. This Lesser Will rules in ignorance and inexperience. It is the False Self that stands in the way of the True Self. To sacrifice, trust to the inner voice and set aside that which hinders.

Later that same day I meditated again. The message that came emphasized the need for mystical and physical balance in my work. Detachment from excessive concern with the immediate task was stressed. This applied both to abstractions and to physical actualities. all things that exist are in some ways formless. Form and purpose are variable in all situations. to become fixed in interpretation of anything is to loose power over oneself. Things must be done and forms fixed, but each form must be understood as a thing for the moment and not an eternal reality. To fail in this is to fall into a deep sleep with but one dream. If the dream is great enough, this state may be bearable --- usually it is called: "waiting for death." Death comes to cleanse us of our unmoving dreams.

I continued to labor on the rooms of my home. Some of the plans for this work came through meditation on the gates. Some of what I did was determined by the materials at hand.


12/2/71 e.v.

Behold a room. It is empty and unadorned. White and dull are its walls. Its windows are blind eyes staring through dying growth at a life-despoiled world. I stand in the center of the room. About me swirls Chaos. Within me builds order. This room has much to become. Two vaults lie overhead. Square panes in twelves fill the windows. Much framework about the walls. The upper walls join the ceiling in an even curve. A fire place of complex pattern rises in the south. The north is an open space. There is no carpet.
Let there be night! The room shall be the place of Yesod, the temple of the Moon. Blue walls and ceiling, violet carpet, silver trim. Such are the colors of Yesod and the Moon. The vaults shall be covered with silver Egyptian stars until the goddess comes. Then shall Nuit reign in the depths of her sky. black and silver chairs appointed for the visitor. The eye of entertainment shall be decently shrouded in the South-East. The voice of dreams and far reporting shall lie East and West of South. Upon the Western wall and to the short path of the North shall be what will be. Perhaps books to the two places, perhaps something better to the West. In mid-room, what will be.
Next to night is day; next to the Moon is the Sun. Tipheret shall lie next to the North. Yellow, gold and violet. Books, tapestry and wonders. The place of light and enlightenment. Next to darkness and entertainment.

In all, four rooms were designed to correspond to Sephiroth and planets. In effect, this means that there are four temples in the house. Only one is consecrated to special meditation, but the others serve as foci for consciousness appropriate to their symbolism.

The first of these rooms to be completed was the main temple, the room dedicated to Saturn and to Binah, the third Sephira of the Tree of Life. The color scheme is very simple, black and nothing else. By 1973, there were several modifications to the basic design. When not used for meditation, the room of Binah serves as an occult library of over a thousand volumes. These books are displayed on the four walls of the room. To the East are two desks, one for use with the microfilm viewer and one for general use. Also in the East of the room are various notebooks and dictionaries. A small but growing collection of microfilms is kept near the viewer. These microfilms are being purchased from several major libraries and will, in time, furnish a considerable resource of centuries-old occult manuscripts. By 1973 the collection included works by John Dee, Robert Fludd, Kunrath and others on about 450 feet of film. In the West are works mainly devoted to history and a set of the Encyclopaedia Britannica. A single desk provides access to these works. To the South are classical works on occultism and religion. These included a complete Hebrew Zohar, half a dozen translations of the Sepher Yetzirah, the works of the Ante-Nicean, Nicean and Post Nicean Fathers and several Bibles. Also in the Southern cases are to be found Thorndike's History of Magic and Experimental Science, and much source material on Alchemy, Hermetics, Mythology, Rosicrucians, Neoplatonism, Gnosticism, Eastern systems, Qabalah and Philosophy. the Northern wall holds modern occult works, works on Psychology, Anthropology, Astrology and a fourth desk. These books include a complete set of the Weiser edition of Crowley's Equinox, several first edition numbers of the same work, a compete set of Frazer's Golden Bough, and many of Crowley's separate works. The Order of the Golden Dawn is well represented. Theosophy is moderately represented.
This library is intended to be a place where occultists may indulge in research without the usual difficulties of large libraries. It is not a borrowing library, but provision is made for those who may wish to come to it and use its facilities. There aren't many really rare works present, other than the microfilms; but it is not common to find so many useful books on occultism in one place.
When the room of Binah is to be used for meditation, black curtains are drawn across in front of the books and desks. This leaves the central portion of the room completely enclosed in featureless black. Only a single flush-set light in the ceiling breaks this visual silence. When the light is turned low, the cubical inner chamber seems to be extended to infinity in all the six directions of space. Sound equipment is installed to permit recording of ritual for study, and the room is partially soundproofed.

Connected to the room of Binah by a short hall is the room of Geburah. This room is decorated in the four colors that the Order of the Golden Dawn assigns to the sephira Geburah and the planet Mars. The walls and ceiling are Orange, the woodwork is Bright Scarlet, Red Scarlet curtains can be made to enclose the central part of the room, and the floor is carpeted in Red flecked Black. The martial element is stressed by a dozen or so swords, knives and battle axes displayed on the walls. This room also contains several hundred technical works on Mathematics and Physics. This is a place of gentle strength and a source of power to concentrate the mind on things that must be made and unmade. This is the room in which I have written this book. Despite the swords, etc. There is no overtone of violence about the room of Geburah. Everything is in the open; it is a warm and secure place without threat or discomfort. The four cats that live in the house often prefer this room. Two of them were born in it, under my bed. (Description dates from 1973 e.v.)

The rooms of Tipheret and Yesod are separated by an open arch. They are the common rooms of the house, intended for relaxation and leisure. They are united by a purple carpet which covers the floors of both rooms without division. The room of Tipheret and the Sun has yellow walls and ceiling, golden woodwork and lattice interior window shutters of gold lined with yellow and rose-pink cloth. A single antique globe hands from the center of the ceiling to furnish light. Below this artificial Sun is a brass table, positioned to catch its light. About the table are six cushions, intended to be covered by as many sheep skins. Under the windows in the East are shelves for books --- these hold about 400 works of fiction. Other shelves in the room hold books on art and books for pleasure. Tapestries relieve the yellow of the walls and soften the contrast between walls and carpet.
The room of Yesod and the Moon is intended for use in the night just as the room of the Sun is fit for the day. The walls and ceiling are a deep blue while the woodwork is metallic silver. Silver stars the size of a human hand make the flat vaults of the ceiling a symbolic night sky. Black chairs and a black couch provide comfort. The room is usually lighted by reflection from the room of the Sun, by light from candles and by fire light from a blue and silver brick fireplace in the south. Silver lattices backed by blue cloth cover the windows. A crystal ball stands upon the mantle to represent the Moon, and there are figures of the goddess at various places about the room.

The other Sephiroth are not absent; other rooms and places are dedicated to the remaining six. These are not yet specially decorated. The entrance porch is Malkut and the Earth. Netzach-Venus is the garden around the house. Hod-Mercury is the workroom. Chesed-Jupiter is an extra bedroom. The kitchen is sacred to Keter, in that it provides nourishment to those who inhabit the other rooms. The whole house is dedicated to Chokmah. Another room was made sacred to Sagittarius by the indwelling of a fair and beautiful lady of that Sun Sign, and is now the press room.
The entire house and garden is a physical representation of the Tree of Life. It's a pleasure to be able to walk through the various spheres of influence in this place. The different energies of the different rooms are quite easily felt, especially the decorated ones.

Many of the meditations that were made while I painted and organized the four special rooms reflected this labor and used it to teach balance between the mind and the physical world. These were typically shorter in the writing and about a half hour in duration for the first part of he meditation. Several days often intervened between meditations, in accordance with the change of method received earlier.

I became a bit overzealous in my work in on the house. This resulted in exhaustion and another lesson. Diary, 12/10/71: "Again I am confronted by a lesson, LamedChet is balanced activity; and I have, of course, experienced the meaning of this gate. Whereas one may experience in the positive, I have done so in the negative. By ignoring the dictates of this gate and those prior in the last three days, I have left open the only channel in suffering. Overwork on one day costs the next and weakens for one beyond. Thus again is vindicated the power of the gates and their truth."

During the gates of Lamed I came to accept a theory that had evolved much earlier. This theory concerns a technical point on the division of the Tree of Life into the Four Worlds of the Qabalah. There are several ways by which this is done. The method preferred by the Order of the Golden Dawn employs the division of the Tree into Macroprosopus= Keter= Atzilut; Father and Mother= Chokman and Binah= Briah; Microprosopus= Chesed, Geburah Tipheret, Netzach, Hod and Yesod= Yetzirah; Bride of Microprosopus= Malkuth= Assiah. This method of division in traditional Qabalah is designed to teach about the "Parts of the Soul" and the "Countenances", not the concept of the Four Worlds. The associations it gives to Yetzirah and to Assiah are not very useful. For my own view, I hold that the most natural division of the Tree into the four Worlds corresponds to the division by the Tetractys. Thus Keter = Crown = Atzilut = Transcendent. Binah and Chokmah = Understanding and Wisdom = Briah = Intellectual (as by these names). Chesed, Geburah and Tipheret = Mercy, Strictness or Severity and Beauty = Yetzurah = Moral (as by these names). Netzach, Hod, Yesod and Malkut = Victory (through endurance), Splendor or Glory, Foundation and Kingdom = Assiah = Mundane (as by these names). These Four Worlds represent the descent by emanation of the pure essence of God into the material multiplications of the created world. They also represent ascension of human consciousness from the mundane to the spiritual, when taken in reverse order. The concept of Microprosopus, on the other hand, represents the conscious mental activity below the Abyss (the division between the three Sephiroth at the top and the rest of the Tree). This involves both Yetziratic and Assiatic consciousness. Malkut is excluded from Microprosopus because it represents that part of the physical world which is below the level of self- aware consciousness. Malkut and the rest of the Asiah Sephiroth represent the physical world and those levels of consciousness immediate linked to it. Tipheret and the other Yetziratic Sephiroth represent consciousness levels one step removed from direct contact with Malkut and the purely physical.

After dealing with this theory about the Four Worlds, I took off three weeks from the steady flow of meditations to finish the major work on the house. The gate influence during this time was MemLamed. Each gate holds sway over the time from the previous gate meditation until the conclusion of the next formal meditation. All the time of the influence of each gate is to be understood in the light of the meanings of the gate. This means that a series of gate meditations constitutes uninterrupted meditation. Much of the time this is not consciously considered, but events occur and ideas come that make the connection to each gate very definite. These times between formal meditations give me a chance to work out what I have learned and to experience the influence of some gates over a longer period of mundane time that others. Each gate has the same basic importance, but I need to adjust to some gates more than to others. These "hard to learn" and "important to work with" gates are the ones with the longest stretches between formal meditations. When a series of twenty-one formal meditations has been finished (all twenty-one involving the same letter matched to the other letters of the Hebrew alphabet) a meditation on the common letter of the series gives a brief respite between gate meditations. During this respite, no gate of the 231 has particular influence.

The formal meditation on MemLamed occurred on January first, 1972 just after the last of the four black curtains was hung in the temple. I had attempted a first-type meditation on this gate on December 15, 1971. At that time the meditation failed owing to mistaken correspondences. This was an omen to me that I should finish the temple before continuing meditations. I wrote in December: "The gate of presence before the scales of the Great Judge. Karma is weighed out and willingly accepted. Harmonious complementation in active and passive. The sealing of the covenant through release of the past and exchange of being." In January, after successful meditation: "The gate of the presentation of the born. Here a child of those who labor is raised to the place of holiness. It is for him to decide the path. Yet love of that which IS is omnipresent. Let darkness reign that there may be light!"

I continued to use Crowley's poem, the Lesser Pentagram Ritual and my own Cube of Space meditation. I occasionally performed these exercises aloud in the darkened temple before performing them astrally without moving or speaking. This sort of double meditation exercise is very beneficial. The physical run-through gives fresh impressions for the mental projection. Both get me very high, especially the mental or astral projection, I continued to develop my technique of vibration of the magical words of the rituals. This technique eventually became very effective. It is based on some theories of Crowley, Goetic "Howling" and the capacity of my body to produce loud, high pitched sound. I can get very stoned by ritual vibration.

The meditations on the gates of Mem began on January seventeenth. The first twelve of these included formal written meditations of the second type. The rest were of the first-type.


1/17/72 e.v.

Stand on a high rock above a great pit. What can you see? Is anyone there? Clouds come not so high, yet vision, even eagle-like, cannot penetrate to such depths as are below. There is a means of testing the 'depts. There is a path to Hell which leads from Heaven's lofty gates. Why tread that path of awesome falling? No answer to a question ever came in Heaven. There is no place to ponder; only dreams of dismal space and glowing splendors. No true dreams, these; only glowing, only emptiness. What can a soul do with such? Abandon! Flee! Seek answers in an otherwhere! As foot departs the Abyss lip and body falls into forever-deep, a voice cries out: "There is no other- where." Unheeded now, the voice is buried in a thousand calls and utterances. Fall past the knowing dreams and past the blinded seers. Fall ever deeper into matter. Seek ever the core as voices abound in ever increasing ruckus. Where once was silence now is a steady flow of noise. The noise merges into a hum and crackle. The voices pass into the Voice. The Voice is lost in its own senseless roar. Soon mind distinguishes it not. An infinite sound is no different than a total silence. Matter accumulates and darkness falls. Density is reached where movement cannot be. Dark is reached where there can be no relieving, no single gray mote of lesser dimness. Infinite density is no different than absolute freedom from restraint. Infinite darkness is no different than infinite, featureless light. What has the fall accomplished? No change has been perceived. Yet in the moment between the fixed points that equally are Heaven and Hell a loss of memory occurred. Rise up to fall again. Fall to rise again. The pendulum of madness swings to and fro across a span that is a greater thing than its boundaries. Heaven and Hell are not different places unless there is a place between. Let him who can inhabit all three. It matters not where head and feet are situate, so long as the middle is in rushing air and flowing water.

On the twenty-first of January, 1972, I first met L. This lady reached more deeply into my soul than any lady had before. In L. I learned to love a woman deeply and closely as a person; and ultimately lost the worst dementia of my virginity, though not my physical virginity. This beautiful woman made free my mind and enabled me to climb higher on the Tree of Life. Without her I would have failed. She is important, though often hidden, in these writings; for the love of her is prominent in my life. She became my dear sister and the spiritual fifth person to whom I was able to say "I love you." She has freed me to love many others in many ways.


1/22/72 e.v.

Rise up and join the fires of eternal life! The winds are calling as they rush upward past the beings men dream they are. There is no stopping or turning back. The land of Grimalkin and the children who grow at the roots of the trees of madness is my land. There is a darkening sky below me. The mountains and trees recede above my dangling limbs. I fly upward and backward on a path that has no end, no beginning. There is a fire which burns not, yet consumes all and makes it fire. This is my fire. This is my being . Waters flow in veins of fire. The water burns. The fire wets. Wind howls its laughter as we mount higher than there are souls to mount. Higher yet into the place of spirit trailing our souls on long tethers down to the sky. Laugh and mountains rise while cracks appear in a false heaven and an untrue cosmos. The wheels of mad minds churn not half so fast as do the little wind-mill sandal straps by which we leap. Come follow and be one of us in being one.

A few days later, Fr. F. N. and I received a most welcome visit. David Bycina, a teacher from San Francisco State, came to see the new place and the growing library. David had taught the class on the "History of Magic and Mysticism..." in which Fons Numeris and I meet. The bibliography provided through that class gave me direction in building my library. Without it I would have been lost among the thousands of vague books that crowd the shelves of occult bookstores. With the aid of that class, I selected a core of powerful books and built up the rest by running down bibliographies in the best of the books that I had. This method has proven itself to be quite effective. good books recommend other good books.
On the occasion of this visit, David Bycina explained that it was possible to order microfilm from the great libraries of the world and thereby gain access to their collections of rare manuscripts. Long after this suggestion, I acted. The result has been described above. Since writing that description of my library, I have received from the British Museum a copy on film of the Book of Enoch as taken down by the hand of Edward Kelly, medium to John Dee. This manuscript contains the magical square of the system of Dee and Kelly that was so highly regarded by Crowley. It will afford many hours of research. Perhaps a new book will be written. Perhaps a new perception will be found concerning the mental processes of Renaissance and Modern Magicians. Only time and effort will tell. There is much to do.

On the 29th of January I made a Tarot divination to determine my progress and to obtain some idea of the road ahead. This used the Waite deck:

The signifactor (Seven of Cups) refers to my wish for peace and harmony. The covering card (Queen of Swords) indicates the difficulty I have with resolution of the means-end problem. The card opposed (Three of Wands) shows more clearly the trouble I have in manifesting my will because of this problem. I should have realized that one part is mine, the second that of the Universe, the third is the manifestation. Crowning (Nine of Coins) is what I seek, it is but inverted to signify that this is not to dominate or destroy future growth and change. Below, the Ace of Wands, inverted to show that there is a realization of the one aim behind my thought and being, but that this is yet imperfect. Behind, the Page of Wands inverted to show my approach in inexperience and confusion to this problem --- yet a noble and determined approach. Before, the High Priestess inverted; I have made the commitment, however imperfectly, to the subconscious living soul that guides me. The future has been set and now must come. The Emperor is myself, a mark of willed ordering of being. The Two of Swords inverted shows that my environment proposes the problem I am now facing and resolving. The King of Cups inverted shows that I both hope and fear what I shall possess in the conclusion, no matter what it is. The card of what will be is Ace of Swords; union of the means and end into one inseparable whole, firmly clutched in the hand of the Universe.

The meditations of the gates of Nun began on February second, 1972. The first of these, Aleph and Nun, was reported earlier in this history. The second of these meditations took place five days later. This meditation of Bet and Nun caught me up again in the arms of my Angel. The allusion to the number nine is an announcement of the approach of initiation into Yesod --- still four months away.


2/7/72 e.v.

Nun-finalBet, the Son! I am the Son of the eternal fire that consumes not yet burns all away. In me the winds have their being. Nine walls face the winds in my land beneath the flat surface of the sky. The waters cling to my ceiling as the motes of life rush in eddies and swirlings about. I am a stormy sea in heaven. Upon me sail the boats of gods and men; yet I am not that Great Sea, my Mother. I am the sea that is the soul. In me and through me pass the currents of becoming and of ending. I am the sea of change. A place below the flat place of Heaven is my place. Cold gray are my winds. A blueness is there also. Few can but glimpse the land of my being. Easy is it enough for gods among men to lower the wall a bit an view the ceiling of my place. Yet no one dares to view me. For in my place am I. When worlds collide it is nothing to my dark stillness. I am Thor. I ride the storm. The storm is my being. Those who fear the storm are my enemies. To them I send sickness. There is a way to know me. Stand alone in my place and name me. You shall keep at bay my many forms which conceal my one form. Stay the influences. Make firm the place. Set warders to the directions. Build a universe within the place and within yourself. Then call aloud my name. I will come. I will take you as myself. Yet you shall see me not. You will see with my own eyes, and you shall dwell in my place. Harken to the wind. Seize the lightning. Watch for the foolish gods among men to peep trembling at the ceiling of the flat sky. Laugh when their wall shuts tight against them. They know us not. They know not the Son.

The setting of this meditation is in Yesod, and the attributes are mostly those of the Moon. My Angel (or Higher Self) speaks to me in the form of an inhabitant of that place. The Angel instructs in the methods which may be used to reach up into Yesod and beyond. The Angel will also appear in the higher Sephiroth, but this is the first of the visions of those places called "Yesod" and "Binah", for a vision came with this meditation that partook of both.
My reader, if it troubles you to call such a beingness an angel, call it what you like. Be it Devil or God or Delusion or Schizophrenic Alter Ego, it is still my Angel and my great delight. If you would join with me in this --- read on!

The gate of NunDalet communicated at long last the mystery of overcoming nose itch and sneezing during meditation. This minor physical discomfort had been a considerable distraction in the past. There's nothing quite so effective as a good sneeze to break one's concentration. I learned to get behind such things and to make them an advantage instead of a liability.


2/8/72 e.v.

Behold! A marvel is revealed to the children of men! Thy nose, thy very nose which filleth with snot, which paineth htee, which causeth thy whole body to convulse with the goings out thereof --- this is a great thing that is above many.
Examine thy sexual organs, O'h man. Examine thy cock and balls. Examine thy cunt and ovaries, O'h woman. Are these not like unto thy nose? Ponder this. Even as there are two testes in the male and two ovaries in the female, there are two nostrils in both. There is but a single cock (how like the nose in shape!) or but a single cunt in the best of us (at least most of us). Is not this like the tracheae which dependith from the breathing passages? Even as the sperm and egg do pass from two places into one, so does the air pass from the two nostrils into one throat. When nares are filled with snot, the inhalation bears it to the throat --- thence out in cough as in similitude to orgasm.
Deeper and more profound are these matters. As does the sexual orgasm so does the breath. The one lets forth the germ of life. The other draws in the essence of it. Yet the nose is more readily reversed. When cock is stimulated there comes an irritation, then a feeling of great pleasure, then explosion. When nose is irritated, there comes a feeling that the ignorant know as discomfort and the wise identify with a churning in their knockers. To one the sneeze is pain and violence, to the other pleasure and orgasm. Ask those who use snuff, that aphrodisiac of the nares, they know. Then too, each sneeze is preceded by a drawing in as the divine air rushes like cum into the lungs. The lungs are like a double womb and pair of testicles combined; they quickly hurl back the new formed babe in a great blast of double copulation.

Let it be recorded that the God who designed such a machine as man had a crude sense of humor.

The meditations of the Gates of Nun continued.


2/11/72 e.v.

The greatness of heavenly abstraction meets with earthly application. Behold above the joining and dividing. There is a logical process whereby one is made two and two one. This process is the only one in nature, yet it is seldom recognized. This unique process is the root of all construction and destruction, yet it serves to construct and destroy even itself. There cannot be but two applications; to make or break. Yet these two applications are of one principle. Thus the principle in its abstract form is one; in its practical form, two. The processes of analysis and synthesis (themselves but the the practical forms in a specialized case) may be applied to this principle to get the processes; or to the processes to get the principle. Thus the one and the two are subject to themselves as ordering and disordering. View the case of a cloth joined to another cloth. The needle divides the thread and travels in two distinct directions. Yet, when all is done, there is but one piece of cloth where once was two. The dual actions involved in sewing have produced a unifying result. The day and night are together the Day. In like manner the life and death of a being are together the Life of that being. Even as two pieces of cloth are joined to form a single piece through the action of the needle, so also are life and death joined by the separate acts of dying and being born. Visualize life as a bright cloth, death as a dull one --- or reverse the symbolism if you wish. Some choose to visualize an individual life as a cloth of alternating light and dark, perhaps endless, perhaps in time merging into the garment that is the Life of God or the Existence of the Absolute. For such, life is a fringe on this metaphoric prayer shawl of the Creator. Even as the fringe of a garment may be knotted to represent prayer, so may lives become entwined. Is not the cloth of the greater an entanglement or an orderly weaving of many threads? Others view life of all as always interwoven. Still others see a single patch of light in a vast sea of darkness. These we pity, for they have an eternal Hell of not-being before their minds, or else a heaven with a flaw. Yet it is in some ways closer to the simplest and most rational to view thusly, in absence of further information. Let not reason confound you. It is but a tool to give pleasure and to create the means for pleasure, use in lesser matters is vile.


2/11/72 e.v.

A serpent wings its way from Chet to Nun as secret wisdom finds a ready nest. Come blankness. Come vanishment. My mind has labored long over the 3 x 72. My mind has been banished of dreams of place and time. Gone is desire and madness. I am not. I know not. I conceive not. A slimy-clean serpent of tarnished bronze exits my anus and girds my loins. It has a womb for my penis. I enter it. About my body twines the rainbow. It rubs itself lasciviously upon and within my flesh. About me and within me coils and rubbings. To my mouth thy gentle lips and sharp tongue O'h beauteous God of Snakes. Come enter in. The tongue of all that's vile and beautiful enters my mouth to exit my nostrils. It passes in at orbs of eyes to drill the brain! In me stirs a golden one. Without, a vertigo clasps. When will they join who love each other thus?

In the next meditation, I first accepted that the messages which I had received came from my Angel. There were other more-or-less direct messages before, but this time I could not mistake or look away. The message was too plain and too plainly given.


2/14/72 e.v.

Journey to the sea shore. Watch waves break endlessly upon the stone. The waters rush to and fro, produce mighty display and effect nothing, to the eye. Yet the stones die into sand and the waves break new stones, without change. Such is your nature in these meditations. You were given this sign that you might know where you stand. As with all signs, it conveys no information that is not known before. Yet it does convey an emphasis. Journey the long journey. Labor without remission. Yet labor not upon the peculiarities of every obstacle one-at-a-time. Like the sea, you must meet the barrier in a form-fit. You must ever rush in and ebb away. Yet each rush loosens, and each ebb frees a little more. As in the sea, storms of might will sometimes rise and then will work great wonders. These are rare. Avail yourself of them. Yet it is the slow tidal action of your body and soul that you must use most often. You shall see me when you will see me. For you know and you don't know how to see me, yet you know something. Continue. Grow. Labor. Obey me. You and I are one forever. Remember ...

Soon came the gate PehNun; in Tarot, Death and the Tower of Destruction. My Angel took this opportunity to instruct me concerning my too great attachment for physical possessions. Diary: 2/17/72; "... The events of this date are involved in limited violence to preserve and to establish union. For example, at about 3:00 PM today, under the influence of this gate, my car was struck from the rear and the trunk stove in. At about that same time, or a bit earlier, someone stole almost all of a collection of posters from my garage. These events brought home the meaning of the gate without serious harm to me, but with graphic suddenness. My possessions mean nothing to me where they conflict with my higher objectives. I was only mildly upset by the accident. I was more deeply annoyed by the theft, but I recognized it as stemming from my carelessness ..."

On the seventeenth of February, under the influence of TzaddiNun, L. came again to the house. She came to stay seven days later. The house was large enough, and it had become apparent that feminine influence was needed. The Gate was TawNun when L. took up residence.

On the twenty-sixth of February, I completed the first passage of the path of Taw, the path connection Malkut and Yesod on the Tree of Life. The path of Taw is in one sense never finished, for it prefigures the entire Tree. In another sense, this path is finished when the waiting period for initiated entrance into Yesod has begun. I was ready to enter as soon as my Angel judged me ready. All basic preparations were finished. It only remained for me to gather strength and continue development alone established lines.

The gates of Samekh began on the 28th of February, 1972. Some of the second-type meditations follow.


3/14/72 e.v.

The Dreamer and the Dreamed. This is thy designation. Ponder it in the waste time. It is thy given name or motto. Set it to Latin and inscribe it on the rose cross. You are to make and consecrate a rose cross. It is to be of metal, such as you have power to take. In its consecration the elemental weapons are needed. For the weapons, the forge. In short, the time has come to set your hand to these manual labors of the Great Work. That is the true nature of the test. Fashion first the forge. Consecrate not the implements and the forge. The belong to that One Who IS. They have been long consecrated to Mercury and Venus through Water and Fire. Craft then the altar. There shall be metal in the forge. There shall be no metal in the altar, save that which is kept for the purpose. You shall be given further instruction when the time is proper for it.

I became suspicious. Something in this was not quite right. The making of the magical weapons was premature. I desired it with too much of my lower will. The Higher Will provided direction, but the lower will sought to advance the date of the making and use. My meditations became a mixture of genuine messages from the Angel and forced messages from my lower self. I later discovered how to identify the difference. At the time of these meditations, I usually felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and a sort of hesitancy, when my lower will intruded. The instructions are valid, save in some minor and variable details; but the statements of time and urgency are often false. The Higher Will cannot be disobeyed. The lower will is often frustrated and must indulge in threats. Where threats occur in the meditations, it is always the lower will. Where statements of the consequences of certain actions are made, it may be the Higher or the lower will. Where pronouncements of a certain sort, attended by certain signs or omens, are made, it is the Higher Will.
Thus, the task of the forge, weapons and cross is right. The motto is valid and may be used in Latin. The time of the working has not yet arrived. The tasks are not yet due. It is permitted that these things be made ahead of need, but the impatient lower will falsely stated that they were to be done almost at once. I did assemble and dedicate the forge. In that way, my Higher Will, my Angel or Little God protected me against my own folly. Some of what follows is from the Higher, some from the lower. I will differentiate.


3/14/72 e.v.

Yes! A return. The task has been appointed. A forge has been begun this day under the Chariot and the Temperer. Heed this as the influence. Continue the gate mediations. The dominion of hours and days in your work is that in your life. The inner planets and signs rule, not the outer. When there is no cycle having such associations, attend to the mortal sky, else reckon by the inner sky as is appointed in the cycles. Thus shall the making of the weapons and such things be reckoned by the moving patterns of these gates. When other things are done at other times, reckon by the things of those times. The deeds now are those of the preparation and consecration of the magical weapons (This sentence is not quite right. The lower will is seeking to advance the date to the present. The Higher Will does not specify). A word of warning. Look not for omens or auspicious times in these gates. All times are telling. You have a key in inner trinities whereby any influence may be drawn from any. Use it! (My Higher Will warns of the deception. The seekings after omens are improper. Omens come suddenly without warning. They may be requested; but to actively seek them is to make them up.) This has been done for the starting of the forge. For other matters, see that you set the influence. View the gate until it opens on the desired radiance.

The meditation continues with an attempt by the lower will to force the making of the magical weapons, the tools of ceremony. The Higher Will does not directly oppose, but provides a means of ritually controlling and transferring the powers of such premature creations to later and better tools.

Another matter. There is a holding back in the making of weapons which should not be. This is ridiculous. To aid your labors, say this: "Spirit(s) N. or N. I charge that you inhabit the astral form of this material implement. When you are called, come. When you are sent, go. When you are charged to quit this habitation for another, do so. It is my voice and my will alone that shall send and appoint in these things. If you are sent by me to another, quit him at my command and return to me." When improvements are being made in magical weapons, send the spirit or soul of the weapon into some place, object, part of the weapon, or part of your being; such as the hands which fashion, the matter which forms, etc.
Thus the instructions of the hour.

The next meditation gave detailed directions for making elemental weapons; these include the dagger, cup, wand and dish. The altar was also described. This meditation will not be given here. It is being withheld from the concern that these designs may be copied by others. Each who takes this path must design his or her own in accordance with the Will of the Higher Self. To copy is to lose much of the virtue. It is fitting that such implements as are know be studied and even duplicated, but only for practice. I have not yet made these magical weapons. The time is not yet upon me for that task (1973 e.v.). Yet, as I write this I enter the Sphere of Tiphereth and there it is a thing that may be done in fullness. The rituals of consecration shall come when the weapons are made. These shall not be made public until they have been used.

About this time several ladies came to visit. My virginity began acting up and many of the succeeding meditations were botched by horniness. It isn't that sexual horniness is wrong for this sort of thing, it's just that sexual horniness coupled with ignorance and unrealizable fantasy is a hindrance. Sex energy can be a powerful basis for Magick. Confused and immature sex isn't a basis for much of anything. My lower will was all for getting it on, but it lacked the competence to get it together. My Higher Will was all for it too, but not until things were ready. This conflict resulted in a lot of mediations dwelling on how soon I could get myself laid. I will omit most of these examples from this history, but I will report on the progress toward proper balance. L. helped by puncturing my fantasies. Whenever I got a little too heavy, she taught me my place. My place was to get my head straight. Now that I have made the necessary adjustments, I'm not so much in a hurry to drop my rocks. It doesn't have to be NOW NOW NOW!!! I came to accept that initiation into these sweet mysteries would come in due course, perhaps by someone I had known for a long time, perhaps by someone I had yet to meet. Matters of circumstance and person became the chief considerations. There were suitable persons, but the circumstances weren't quite right.

Meanwhile, back on the brink of Yesod, the ninth Sephiroth on the Tree of Life.


3/18/72 e.v.

Come vagrant one! Time presses heavily upon you in this hour of aloneness. You talk overmuch to yourself in dimness of understanding. Rise up when the hour of rising is upon you. Ask not what hour. Only rise up. Thus the ages are appointed. Thus the day wears on. There is indeed much to do. Have at it! Heed the call to action when it comes. There is labor to be done. Labor well and labor strongly. Seek the fulfillment. Bemoan its absence not.
Thus the ordinance. Thus the duty. Yet what is duty and ordinance but the prompting of Thy own True Will? These things shall be done. See that you do them willingly, not that you do them with unwilling waiting to the hour of action. Think not of what might have been and what may be. There is now for eternity. The past is dream time, the future is blind to the anxious. "Go forth and teach all nations," was an ordinance to Thy brothers. "Be all and raise all," is Thy ordinance. Get on.
The ordinance last given supplied me with my name in
Hod and will supply me with my name in Chesed when the time is right.

The next gate was the last of the second-type meditations for Samekh. It concerned a further stage in my spiritual development and effected a relaxation in hostilities with my old religion. There will probably never be a reconciliation, but I am at peace with my Catholic past. About this time I began to introduce ritual invocation of the Tree of Life into my meditations. This eventually became elaborated into the meditative ritual given in Appendix E of this book. I recommend its practice highly. This ritual provided me with the focus necessary to develop my views of the Tree.


3/18/72 e.v.

There is a little voice of clay inside you which says, "No." This "No" is gradually falling into dust, but the process must be accelerated. The study of rituals will aid in this. Remember always that there is merit in all things. This includes the old faith. Confession is not possible. Communion is an affront to those who believe in it. You must not scandalize these children in their best part. Yet there is much that is good and that is open. Spurn not chance, hope, opportunity. There is light where once was darkness. Let the old light become darkness. Let the old light become absorbed in the new. Only when all threads have been tied in a single, well-made knot will the Great Work be a free labor of lustful glory. The little nay-sayer is a hindrance. Yet his voice has its uses in a later stage as in an earlier. Tend him well and get him straight as to his lessons. This is a long task. It proceeds.

In the next meditation, the Angel speaks in the form of Ariel, the Devil of Tarot who is also called Lucifer and Morning Star and the Adversary who is Satan. This is not the black thing that the crippled minds of recent ages have painted. This is the spirit that perfects through hardship and limitation. Honor the Prince of the Fallen Ones, for that prince shall ever be a just servant of God. There are many simple and a few complex mysteries in this matter; but the substance of them is this: There is no evil in an absolute sense. Lucifer never rebelled against God. Lucifer is the dark and hard aspect of God's appearance to men. The jealous god of the Old Testament is Jehovah acting in the person of Lucifer. Christ of the New Testament is Lucifer playing out his role through self-inflicted punishment. The trials, temptations and tortures of Christ are no more than a mythical reenactment of the mysteries of Hercules, Orpheus, Tammuz, Osiris and other dying gods of antiquity. These mysteries are not new, nor are they outdated. Christ and the others are images of every person of the human race. The trials they endure are dramatizations of the experience of everyone. When physical violence was a common thing in the world, such trials were displayed as physical. Now such trials are more often represented by mental than by physical suffering. We need a new savior to receive the garment of the mysteries. We need a new Buddha or a figure in many ways not unlike Aleister Crowley. If Crowley is that new, mortal Christ-Lucifer, we must wait until time has made his mortality less evident. There have never been gods and sons of gods among men who were in any way uniquely superior to other men. Only time can dull the mortal memory and make a Christ or a Crowley something more than human. The Gods and Sons of the gods dwell within us all. We are all Gods and Goddesses, or there are no Gods and Goddesses. There are other candidates beside Crowley for this post of symbol of humanity. Who is chosen for the New Age matters little. By the time the new Lucifer is risen in light above the altars of the world, all but the Christ in Him or Her will be forgotten. That is why our old gods wear out. Their worshipers forget that they worship one of their own. Enough. Here's the meditation:


3/26/72 e.v.

Hail traveler in darkness! Summon the light and see the day. Doubt and fear vanish beyond this door. You can have no fear, for all things of fear end here. Doubt cannot pass, for this is the all-dissolving portal of certainty. Draw the scales from of your eyes and see God! All that you see is; yet all that is, you do not see. Know what you see not. I give you the knowledge of good and evil. Mine is the fruit of the fallen. Yet why are they the fallen? Is it not that they have fallen from false righteousness and ignorant pride? Taste the fruit offered by the woman chained as are you by the natal string to men and women gone before. Thus are dimnesses dispelled. Come avenging angel and disperse these willing ones from dismal paradise of nonentity into the greater world upon the path to gods and goddesses. Come nigh the fruit; for to fall is to rise. Thy end draws near. Beyond are greater ends.

The entrance into Yesod drew near. Much of what has been recorded here is proper to Yesod. Even the manner and form of the meditations is in some senses proper to Yesod. Yet Yesod is not attained until one is nearly ready to pass beyond it. The gates continue.


4/4/72 e.v.

The wheel of ages grinds out karma for the children of ages. This is the one task, the simple task. To come and go. To form and vanish. Endlessly to be and cease to be. Let be; let die; it is one. The path doubles ever back on itself. Yet it is a spiral, ever ascending. There will be a turning back of this spiral, yet the spiral is a part of an even greater spiral and the greater of a greater still. Thus the path of eternity. Ever moving in endless epicycles in the void. Yet never moving. All souls journey thus. Yet the path is made of souls. These lie in place of stones for pavement. They light as lamps; they refresh; they quench. These souls of the path are themselves journeying on the path. Yet smaller are their curvings. They are on interior spirals. Even so O'h traveler with thee. The elements beneath thy heel. The Gods upon thy head. Reach a little down that the Gods may bear you up.


4/7/72 e.v.

Come to the quiet and deserted places beneath the sea. These marble halls have been long hidden beneath the moving waters. Long has the archway been silent. Long has the courtyard been untenanted. Call out to the sea and raise the hand and will. Back roll the waves. The waters depart from concealed abundance. Ancient stairs of porphyry and archways of yellowed limestone emerge. The children come and play amid the stones. I stand and ponder. The sea has drawn far out while children play. My mind relaxes its force for an instant. Waters rush in a cascade that fills the arch. I will again and the cascade freezes, then fades from sight. There is no rushing water save beyond the gate. Yet when I will, I see the cresting wave dimly lurking in the archway.
The children play in the heart of the waters. Who knows but that the waters are here. They are but unsensed.

I experienced another outbreak of irrational and fantastic horniness. This occluded the meanings of the gates behind a mass of impossible expectations. Finally I came to a decision and magically purged the problem. Diary: 5/4/72 e.v. "...I have decided that I am no longer Virgin. Physically, perhaps; but mentally, no. To this end, I opened the 1959 Chateau d'Yquem, as I privately had decided to do on my coming of 'moral' age ..." This was done under the influence of the gate TzaddiAyin.

There were many gaps in the flow of meditations at this time. I began to take longer with the individual gates. My resignation from the virginity obsession reduced the amount of sublimation that I needed. I had more time to let the gates work their magick.

Around the end of May, I sent out 78 brochures advertising a workshop in "Ritual Magic, Tarot and Qabbalah" to be taught by Frater Fons Numeris and myself. This series of classes met at our house. The whole of the thing lasted for several months and brought good contacts and new friends. We didn't make any money, but we got a lot organized. This series of classes started my communication with the outer world on occult matters. At this time I started writing and thinking to teach others. The results manifested in an exponential increase in productivity. I bought a mimeograph machine and published a short pamphlet on the "32 Emanations." More will be said about this later. As for now:
Under the influence of the gate ReshAyin:




During a dream experienced June first, nineteen hundred and seventy-two of the common era.

The Dream: I was a part of a crew or camp on Earth's Moon. We had little contact with the home planet and were engaged in exploration. On one of the treks, we discovered a shallow cave. The front of this we covered, and we flooded the inside with air to render our work easier. In the rear of this cave we found a stone figure of an elephant. The figure was about six or seven feet high and set to the front shoulders in the cave wall, near the back of the cave. This interested us much. Nonetheless, our time to return was nearing and we had little to spare on such a remarkable, but isolated, find.
Toward the end of our projected stay, I and a girl of the crew returned to the cave. She pulled on the elephant's head; and, to our surprise, the stone came away. Beneath was a smaller elephant, carved of gold. My female companion returned to the camp while I remained behind. I chanced to grasp the trunk of the golden elephant and pulled the entire head clockwise with the trunk going from about six to eight or nine o'clock. A door opened in the rear of the cave. People of the Moon came out. Soon the party from my camp arrived. We entered with the lunar people into their air- filled cavern. They were not fully willing to tolerate us and, in time, told us to leave and not return. The others left.
I returned to the cave with the girl, and we stood outside the veil of the passage leading into the cavern of the moon-people. This position did not infringe upon their privacy. The moon-people were in attendance at a religious ceremony much like the Roman Catholic Mass. I felt devout and bowed my head over clasped hands in prayer. The priest of the moon-people gave them communion behind the veil. He saw me and my companion and carried the holy cup out to me from behind the veil. I held it and did as I should with it. It was as a small wedding chalice of silvery metal, encrusted with round knobs. Inside was a wine of purple shade. I returned the sacred cup, and the priest reentered the cavern behind the veil.
After the service had ended, I sued for entry into the cavern, saying that I was not a human of Earth. To prove this claim, I floated off the cavern floor (I had been permitted entry to state my case.). After floating about at various heights before and on a level with the heads of the moon-people, I was allowed to stay and to roam at will. There were some who didn't wholly approve of my floating, but I was accepted (This points to the need, at some future date, to improve myself in the things proper to Yesod. I have them in adequate measure to function within that Sephira and to govern it; but I do not function there perfectly or govern absolutely.). I saw how the air was produced by small red and white "mollusks" in square water tanks. They were like a sort of crayfish. Water came from crab-like creatures in other tanks. I wandered to the edges of the cavern where the dome came down to the floor and seemed of concrete, shaped like the underside of a freeway overpass where it descends to high banked earth. In a small cranny near the junction of the wall and floor lurked a wild specimen of the air-creatures. This I gently summoned with my mind. The small "mollusk" began to follow me ... "
My Diary also includes a commentary on this dream: ... This dream is set on the 32nd path of Taw, near the 9th path of Yesod. This is shown by the earth-people visiting the Moon. The path into the Moon (DaletVauSamekhYod) can be entered only for the sake of the higher things (TawReshAlephPehTaw) --- shown by the golden figure. One may stay for a visit, but the place itself will expel the dull and morbid thoughts of Earth. The mind must go forth with them or suffer them to depart from the mind. The episode of the veil and ritual was a holy rite of entry, a cleansing before passage. ... I entered into the Sephira, passed a silver veil, and demonstrated that I was airy (Floating. Air is a correspondence to Yesod.). The objection mumbled seem to refer to the floating as an act of will (Hod consciousness?) rather than freely. The air-mollusk-arthropod-crayfish fits the Sephira and also the 29th path to Netzach. Thus it would seem that the events of the day allowed me to rise on the 32nd, pass into the 9th and touch the 19th path of the Tree of Life. ... To fully travel the 29th is not so easy for one of my persuasion. ..."

AND THE VEIL ("Paroket" in Golden Dawn usage):

I began the gates of Peh on the 23rd of June. These gates continued my initiation on the Tree. The initiation into Yesod was confirmed. Later other Sephiroth were entered. The time between meditations was often quite long. The gates of Peh supplied the quality that I needed below the veil called Paroket, which separates the lower four Sephiroth of the Tree from the upper six. The lower four, Netzach, Hod, Yesod and Malkut, are united by the path of Peh (path 27 on the Tree diagram). The time of the gates of Peh was extended to aid in the mastery of these Sephiroth. The magical influence of these gates was needed to bring me through to higher mental spaces.


7/17/72 e.v.

A shining one has come! He stands to the right hand. He is clothed in silken brown-gold leaves. He is a friend and yet a being of one sort of power. He is clothed with the Sun of Earth. He is young and strong. Amber garment. Hair of dark amber-brown. Hair the color of sun baked earth. He is there. I have seen him.
There shall be many things yet, O'h wanderer after wisdom. Some little bit of the foretold has started. It will never end. There shall come revelation, and with it shall come love. Bonds have been lifted. This shall not make bonds that limit more. Nothing shall be raised in opposition. Await the return of the messenger of the paths. He has visited you. He will come again in sleep and waking. Heed him and know his purpose. He is the one who shall be thy aid past these earliest veils of Isis. He is a guide such as has entered your dreams.

He is a part of self, and yet he is himself. This one will, by his presence, lead you on to better things. You know him well. Many dreams has he inhabited. Many acts have you and he witnessed in the moving places of eternal sleep.
This visitor is the helper of the paths from Yesod.

During the time of PehBet and PehGimel I formulated my theory of initiation on the Tree of Life. At first this theory came as an extemporaneous lecture to my small class on ritual magick. I made a recording of this lecture on tape and later transcribed it into manuscript. After some editing, I printed and published a hundred copies of this paper. This became the token of initiation into Hod. In the several months that followed the writing of this paper, I slowly gained strength in the eighth Sephira of the Tree of Life. When I carried copies of it to bookstores on both the West and East coasts, I came gradually into possession of the powers of Hod. Finally I received my name in that Sephira and initiation to Hod was complete.
The paper titled The Thirty-Two Emanations and the Path of Initiation began in Malkut. It formulated itself in my consciousness in Yesod. It was written and published on the 31st and 30th paths from Malkut and Yesod to Hod. When it entered the minds of enough people, I became initiated into Hod. Many contacts came as a result of this paper. One person wrote a letter from Nigeria asking advice on a matter related to the Tree. I responded. Other people came to visit and to share in the work. In the second printing of this paper, I described work in progress and issued an invitation to those who might wish to join us. Several have taken advantage of this invitation and all of us are richer by the increase of this informal brotherhood.
Here is the paper. I have done little more than add a few diagrams and correct a few minor errors. It is substantially as it was:


by Bill Heidrick

This presentation deals with the 32 paths or categories of the Tree of Life. The diagram found here illustrates each of these 32 paths. This diagram should be consulted by the reader to facilitate understanding of this material.
The first ten numbers (1-10) refer to the ten Sephiroth and are illustrated as circles on the diagram. The remaining twenty-two numbers (11-32) are illustrated as lines connecting the circles.
The Tree of Life represents the creation of the World by a ten stage process. It is difficult to understand this theory of creation until the Tree has been traveled in reverse by the mind, from the bottom to the top and from 10 to 1. The number 1 represents the Mind of god. The number 10 represents the starting place of human consciousness. The human mind must rise to union with the Divine. The Mind of God creates by descending on the "Path of the Lightning Bolt."
The numbers 1-10 are levels of consciousness, resting places between the very spiritual (1) and the very material (10). The numbers 11-32 are practical modes of learning whereby the levels 1-10 are reached. The numbers 11-32 form a secondary system that is used to explain and to study the primary system, 1-10.

Sometimes a number Zero is included in this system. This is a very difficult concept to work with, but it signifies that which lies behind the entire Tree of 1-32 paths. Zero may be represented by a black background behind the Tree of Life. Zero is the unformed state from which everything emerges (Traditional Qabalah calls this "Mezla", although the term has often been miss-applied by modern writers). Even the human concept of the Mind of God, the number 1, emerges from the Zero.
The Tree of Life is a cosmology, not a physical one, but a mental one. It is a map and a life history of an illuminated mind.

This method of studying the Tree is called the Path of Initiation. It forms a plan for the initiations used by a number of Occult societies. To attain levels or grades in such societies or orders, a member must pass through ceremonies. These ceremonies are designed to raise the mind of the initiated person to the level of consciousness on the Tree of Life that corresponds to the particular Grade or Degree that the member is entering. Decorations, speeches and actions are combined to match the correspondences of some one or more of the 32 paths of the Tree of Life.
The presentation made in this paper follows the 32 paths as they appear in the mind, not as they might be expressed in ceremony.

The first approach to Chesed is by path 21 from 7 to 4. Netzach (7) is an emotional level. It is weak at this stage because it has been exceeded by the Vision of Tipheret and the power of Geburah. This weakness makes it easer for the mind to realize that the emotions of Netzach must be drawn up the the higher level that is called Chesed. At this point, the Netzach consciousness realizes that feelings of good and bad are beyond control. The mind can establish a sort of wavering order in them, but it is impossible to fully organize such feelings when they are drawn only form the Dream and the Physical world. The Tarot card associated with this path is the Wheel of Fortune. This picture displays the workings of karma. The 21st path involves an embracing of karma, an acceptance that everything that happens to oneself is right, not because of any particular reason, but just because it happens. This path ascends from a low and helpless moral belief (7) to a high and hopeful moral belief (4). This is a raising from faith in right and wrong to faith in a Higher Being. It makes little difference what the Higher Being is called. Some use the word God, some the Over-Soul, some the Future Hope of Humanity. At the 4th level of consciousness, the outward differences between the various highest Gods and Ideals of mankind are not important, because the restrictions people place on what they are willing to accept as God must mostly be abandoned before Chesed is attained. In traveling the 21st path, one must either see the Universe as good or evil. If the Universe is seen as evil, consciousness collapses and the person becomes what is sometimes called a "black magician". If the Universe is seen as good, consciousness continues to rise.


Malkut is the number 10 on the Tree of Life. This is the level of physical awareness, of the senses. Consciousness here is limited to more or less direct perception of touch, taste, smell, etc. This is the level of physical existence. The physical body belongs to Malkut. Even the thoughts in the brain belong to Malkut in so far as they are electrical impulses. Only the physical basis of thinking belongs uniquely to Malkut. The thinking processes themselves belong to higher states of consciousness.


Path 32 rises up from Malkut (10) to Yesod (9). Nine represent fantasy consciousness. Here the mind no longer simply perceives things; it is involved in its perceptions. Path 32 is a transition in consciousness from the sense mind to the dream mind. The level of dream consciousness is the so-called "Astral" plane. When people say that they can see things on the Astral plane, they are saying that they can pass from the sense level of consciousness to the dream level without falling asleep in the usual fashion. Path 32 connects two version of the same thing. In number 10 nature is more or less directly perceived through the physical body and the physical senses. In number 9 those perceptions have been assembled by the unconscious mind into a moving pattern which the self-conscious mind experiences as a dream or as a reverie. The Tarot card of path 32 is the World. The picture on this card shows awareness of the motion of the Universe as a dance seen in a dream.


In the next stage, we travel to Hod, number 8, by path number 31 from 10 and by path number 30 from 9. Path 32 was a transition from physical awareness to dream awareness. Paths 31 and 30 involve the reasoning process. Subconsciousness was involved in path 32.
When a person employs reason to study his senses, he is traveling the 31st path to number 8. The corresponding Tarot is the card of Judgment.
Path 30 is the use of reason to obtain an understanding of dreams. The Sun of Tarot casts its light upon the dream.
Both paths 31 and 30 involve reason; they are different only in that reasoning processes applied to isolated sense perception differ in some ways from reasoning processes applied to more or less connected dream or daydream.


On the opposite side of the Tree of Life we have Netzach, number 7. Netzach is the result of emotional reaction to the sense world (10) and the dream world (9), just as Hod is a rational reaction to those same two levels of consciousness. Netzach and Hod counterbalance each other. The Weaknesses and Strengths of the one are offset by the Strengths and Weaknesses of the other.


In path 29, from 10 to 7, emotional reaction to the senses leads the mind to an emotional understanding and acceptance of that which is sensed. In path 28, 9 to 7, a similar emotional reaction to dream and revere leads to the same level of consciousness. Path 29 corresponds to the Moon in Tarot, a card (9-7) of deep emotional stirrings. Path 28 corresponds to the Star, a card of meditation.

SUMMARY OF PATHS 10, 9, 8, & 7.

Up to this point, these four Sephiroth (10-7) and five (8-7) paths (32-28) form an almost complete group of interlocked states of consciousness. There is only one more "path" that is needed to finish this pattern. Path 27 connects Hod (8) to Netzach (7). This path connects the world-view or philosophy of life obtained by the first practices of reason with the world-view obtained by emotional reaction. Path 27 is associated with the Tarot card of the Tower struck by lightning. This Tarot card shows that a mind built up on reason from nature cannot withstand the intensity of emotions developed from the same source. The numbers 7 and 8 represent two opposite types of understanding, two opposite levels of awareness. The simply logical mind explodes when it goes into emotional awareness. The simply emotional mind falls apart when it descends to the level of reasoning. This confrontation between simple reason and simple emotion produces a considerable amount of pain. In Hod a person tries to pull his environment into a neat and simple structure. In Netzach a person tries to feel for and within his environment. Hod uses constraint and will. Netzach implies acceptance and love. Because the Hod and Netzach (8 and 7) levels of consciousness are usually poorly developed, they are often seen to be in conflict. The Tower Trump dramatizes a battle between the rational mind and the loving soul. When the 27th path is painful, the pain many be likened to sexual orgasm in one who thinks sex is evil. When Hod and Netzach are in harmony, path 27 is intensely pleasureful, just as the free union of two lovers is intensely pleasureful.
In another system of correspondences, Malkut is the element Earth (10), Yesod is Air (9), Hod is Water (8) and Netzach is Fire (7). Path 27 is water and fire exploding together. Yesod is a balance in an airy dream and Malkut is a balance in earthly sensation.
With path 27, the group of the first four Sephiroth is complete. This group of the numbers 10-7 forms a triangle with a center on the Tree of Life diagram. That is a symmetrical thing, a regular pattern. When one finds symmetry on a diagram like this, one finds something basic to what the diagram represents. A symmetrical diagram gives information through its symmetry.
Ordinary consciousness rarely goes far beyond the levels already described. Higher levels are reached in states of expanded or evolved consciousness. To get some other ideas about the material just introduced, consider this: Sephiroth 10-7 are the area of magick. This is magick that is directed toward dominating the physical environment. The levels of consciousness higher up the Tree are not directly involved in this kind of magick. This type of magical work requires direct, physical, sexual energy. That sexual energy is mostly found in the dream world (9). Emotions bring the energy out in one sense (7). Reason brings the energy out in another sense (8).
Hod is also associated with the god Mercury, the god of Magick, Writing and Knowledge concerning hidden or "Occult" matters. Netzach is associated with the goddess Venus, the goddess of Love, Art and Physical Beauty. Yesod is associated with Moon goddesses generally; Selene, Hecate, Diana, Lilith and so on. The lover who comes to men in dreams is the goddess of the Moon. Lunar gods like Adonis, Attis, Virbius, Sammael and others appear in the sexual dreams of women. Many of these lunar gods and goddesses are also associated with the Sun, thereby representing a more lofty version of the same deity. This is not often the case with Lilith and Sammael --- these are usually considered demons.
In a lodge where initiations are based upon the parts of the Tree of Life, initiation to the level of Hod is often supposed to confer the power to work practical magic. A person who has been initiated into Netzach is supposed to be able to work natural magick, magick which works through nature instead of against the usual natural order.
One reason that practical magick is often said to be dangerous and "black" or "evil" is simply that such magick represents a state of mental imbalance on the side of the logical mental processes. Hod (8) consciousness is a one sided thing. Netzach balances and perfects Hod. either alone is bad. Hod alone is the reasoning mind without feelings. Netzach alone is emotion without reason. In either extreme one finds very disturbed individuals. Higher levels (6-4) can lead to control over the lower reason and the lesser emotions. That control is the sort of thing people refer to under the names of "white magick", "religion", etc. Such controls result when the consciousness extends itself to higher levels and remains in contact with the lower levels.


6, 5
& 4.
The next group of levels of consciousness in the Tree of 6 - 4. Life theory involves the numbers 6, 5 and 4. These are called Tipheret, Geburah and Chesed or Gedulah. Tipheret translates as Beauty, Geburah as Force, Chesed as Mercy. There are many alternate titles for the numbers from 10 to 1. The names assigned to 7 and 8 generally carry less significance than those assigned to 6-4. Hod means Glory. Netzach means Victory through Endurance. The alternate title for Chesed, Gedulah, means Greatness.
The numbers 6, 5 and 4 are a more abstract version of the numbers 9, 8 and 7. The former group represents more advanced and loftier states of consciousness than the latter. The numbers 10 through 7 are raised and purified to attain the numbers 6 through 4. Just as there are three (9, 8 & 7) that are drawn from the Earth (10), there are three (6, 5 & 4) that are drawn from the lower four (10 to 7). Before anything can be securely attained in the part of the diagram which includes 6-4, the levels 10-7 must be placed in harmony. Path 27 must cease to be a path of pain. The relieving of the pain of that path comes by successive approximation, by trial and error.
A person rises up in consciousness to the 8th level and to the 7th level. Reason meets emotion on the 27th path. They collide and fall back. Terror accompanies the failure of reason as the structure of the mind topples like a house of cards. That terror arises partly from fear of insanity. The pain on the side of emotion is of intense loss. Eight is closer to the material. Seven includes a portion of faith in the basic goodness of things. The failure of reason is generally more painful than the failure of emotion. In the explosion of the 27th path, both reason and emotion fall as one.
After the failure of the world views of Hod and Netzach, of 8 and 7, the original process repeats. Both the 7th and 8th consciousness levels must be built up again from Yesod (9) and from Malkut (10). The new 7 and the new 8 collide in 27 again. They fall again. They rise again. This continues until they both meet and join. In time the reasoning world view is such that it doesn't rule out the emotions. The emotional world view is such that it doesn't rule out reasoning. This is the state of the balanced person. This is the person who is in control of his life. In practice the explosions on the 27th path are mostly minor and the rational and emotional levels of consciousness take turns dominating the mind. In the final state of balanced reason and emotion, the emotions establish a pattern of desires, hopes and beliefs that are all more or less capable of being reconciled by reason while the reasoning mind establishes a repertoire of means for obtaining major goals without excessive frustration of secondary desires. Most of the effort put into psychological help and self-improvement goes into balancing 8 and 7 on the 27th path.
When the rational mind and the emotions are properly harmonized, it becomes possible to rise in consciousness to the level of contemplation of beauty, number 6. The type of consciousness typified by the number 6 is what most people think of when they speak of "meditation" and "religious experience". Both these terms have much wider application to many more levels of consciousness than the 6th level. An insight into the 6th level of consciousness is usually what gives people a "purpose in life."


The first passage from the lower four Sephiroth is from Hod (8) to Tipheret (6). Hod represents Mercury and Tipheret represents the Sun, the god Apollo. Apollo is the beautiful god, (8-6) the shining god. Mercury is the mischievous god, the god who has something a little wrong with his mental processes. Otherwise these two gods resemble each other very much.
The path between 8 and 6 is path 26, represented in Tarot by the Devil. This is a source of some disturbance for people who are just getting into Tarot symbolism. This Tarot card represents material illusion. The Devil is pictured as a monster, something that could not exist in the physical world. This monster of the mind represents those restrictions, placed by the mind on itself, which keep it from full development. The same restrictions that created a world view in number 8 must be surpassed in path 26. It is as if a scaffold of restrictions were necessary to build the temple of the mind. When that mental temple is finished, those temporary restrictions must be torn away if the temple is to be properly used. Even through the reasoning world view has accommodated to the emotional one, it is still based on materialism. Faith in something higher than that observed by the senses is needed to provide a new basis for a new philosophy in things unseen as well as seen. Needed inspiration may come through a drastic change in lifestyle, religion, nationality, family, work, etc. Whatever the immediate cause and source of inspiration, a higher awareness (6) rises from Hod along the 26th path. The Vision of Tipheret is not perfectly attained by this means, but human consciousness can dimly perceive an order to the entire Universe.


The next approach to Tipheret comes from the dream world of Yesod. Just as the dream world (9) came from the sense world (10), so also this higher awareness (6) arises as a perfecting of the Dream into a steady and clear Vision.
In 10, the sense world, there is very little order. Some order is realized in the Dream (9). Both Hod and Netzach represent more ordered ways of handling the sense experiences and the semi-organized dream experiences. When the reasoning and the emotional world views are harmonized in the 27th path, there are still gaps. There are still some things that are not understood. Not enough knowledge can be derived from the sense perceptions and the dream awareness to supply an answer to all questions. There must be a faith in something beyond the senses which will enable the mind to see by its inner processes an order not perceived through the physical. Path 25 rises from number 9 to number 6. This is the path whereby the hazy dream of Yesod is crystallized into the brilliant vision of Tipheret, when spiritual aspirations join material awareness. The number 10 is the world itself, 9 is the Dream and 6 is the vision. Vision transcends dream just as dream transcends sense perception. The Tarot card of Temperance pictures the process of the 25th path.


The last entrance into the level of consciousness numbered 6 is by the 24th path from 7 to 6. The Tarot card corresponding is the card of Death. Death is a heavy symbol, but this is a heavy transformation of the mind. The emotions must now be given the same redirection that was given to the reasoning faculties in the 26th path. The feelings that a thing is "right" or "wrong" are the main qualifiers of emotions in the consciousness of Netzach. These feelings compose a simple morality derived from experience in the sense world and elaborated from the fantasies of the dream world. There is very little understanding of why a particular thing is good or bad, only a feeling that everything is one or the other. This is a simple type of faith, but faith can be a far higher thing. The transition between 7 and 6 involves a heightened trust in the "rightness of things." The 24th path teaches that things are never absolutely good or bad. By this path a person comes to realize and to accept that the lesser morality is only a pale thing in comparison with the greater morality. That greater morality plays no favorites and acknowledges no enemies among the experiences that rise from the lower states of awareness. All things fit into the pattern of Tipheret. There are no flaws in the tapestry of the Vision of consciousness associated to the number 6. This passage between 7 and 6 involves a recognition that even death and loss have value in transforming the soul and in elevation of consciousness. For many believers in an after-life, death is a cutting free followed by a perfection. The theory of reincarnation is also very useful in gaining an understanding of this path.


At this point the consciousness of Tipheret has been attained. This is the central level of the Tree of Life, and in some senses it is the most desirable state for a human mind of all those depicted on this diagram. Tipheret (6) is midway between the earthly (10) and the divine (1).
Tipheret is itself the level to which the concept of the Tree of Life belongs. The kind of vision that a person obtains at Tipheret is of the whole Universe as one ordered and beautiful pattern. The Vision is understood by emotion and by reason. This diagram of the Tree of Life embodies a way of relating to everything in the human consciousness both by reason and by emotion. The traditional Tree of Life is someone else's vision, however. It is possible to study and, to a degree, master such a vision of another person. Such a study enables one to more easily build his own vision. When the consciousness attains to Tipheret, number 6, a unique vision of the cosmos opens to the mind. That vision is somewhat different for each person. The Tree of Life pattern is such a vision derived from the Jewish Qabalah.

INTRODUCTION TO PATHS 23, 22, 21 & 20.

23, 22
21 & 20.
When reason is applied to the Tipheret Vision, path 22 INTRO. is developed and the consciousness of Geburah (5) emerges. When emotion is experienced from tipheret, path 20 and Chesed develop. This is the same sort of development that produced Hod and Netzach from Yesod by the 30th and 28th paths. The relationship between the numbers 8 and 7 and the number 10 was established by the 31st and 28th paths. Paths 23 and 21 lead from the lower four Sephirot just as paths 31 and 29 lead from Malkut (10).


Hod (8) was derived from the natural world and the dream world by reason. Geburah is a higher sort of reasoning world view than Hod. Geburah consciousness is the highest rational philosophy that a human being can claim as his own. Anything purely rational above this level has an Absoluteness to it, like something that comes directly from God. No human mind can proceed farther than Geburah in the reasoning fashion and remain fully a human mind.


The 23rd path connects Hod, number 8, with Geburah, number 5. The Hanged Man is the Tarot card the corresponds to the 23rd path. Most writers of Tarot symbolism say very little about the card of the Hanged Man. In the meanings of the 23rd path, it is possible to see why this is the case. In passing from Hod to Geburah, an inversion of the natural order is necessary. It is no longer possible to base reasoning arguments solely upon information derived from physical sensation. In Geburah, the rational mind works with ideals and abstractions which often have only a slight connection to physical experience. A second reason for avoiding discussion of the card of the Hanged Man involves the use of mind altering drugs. Many people wish to attain the powerful level of consciousness that is associated with Geburah without first fully attaining Netzach and Tipheret. Very drastic things must be done to an unadjusted rational mind if that mind is to function on the Geburah level without first experiencing the usual intermediate states of consciousness. Consciousness can only remain functional at Geburah for a short time if it lacks the usual preparations. After such a brief enlightenment, awareness usually descends to Yesod where the mental energy acquired at Geburah works itself out in the form of intense and sometimes quite frightening dream experiences. One of the simplest ways to obtain the results just described is the taking of hallucinatory drugs. If a person isn't able to rise in consciousness on his own, drugs will sometimes force consciousness up. Under such conditions it is possible to briefly glimpse something that is subsequently carried back down to Yesod and elaborated in a series of dreams or hallucinations. These dreams are difficult to control, owing to the operation of the particular drug and often owing to lack of experience in the person taking the drug. When a person has some flaws in his psychological construction, these flaws may be developed into very frightening dream experiences. Most people have many such flaws and are therefore in some danger of "freaking out." There are numerous techniques for avoiding bad drug trips, but some of the best techniques may be acquired through the raising of the human consciousness along the levels of the Tree of Life. When such consciousness levels are well attained, the use of drugs is often unimportant. Everyone must decide this matter for himself both as to what drugs to use and whether to use any drugs at all. The current "blue laws", which restrict some drugs under threat of extreme penalty, make these drugs very much more dangerous both in their use and in the sense of the law. It is difficult to foresee a time when the stronger of these "psychedelic" drugs and the equally valuable opiates will be legally and generally available for religious and meditative purposes. Moral censure has been excessive and severe; so sever that quite respectable sources are often "Bowdlerized"; and references to drugs as a path of enlightenment are removed without comment. To cite a case of this last sort, the advice of Patanjali on the use of drugs is often excluded from popular editions of his aphorisms. Such a passage in Patanjali's Yoga Aphorisms is IV., 1: "Perfections proceed from birth or from drugs or from spells or from self-castigation or from concentration." ... James H. Woods translation of the Yoga System of Pantangali, Harvard University Press. The same passage in the D. R. Stephen paraphrased version reads: "Occult powers may be obtained in five ways. (1) The knowledge of them may be brought over from a previous life. (2) Or they may be obtained by Hatha Yoga. (3) Or by Sorcery. (4) Or by Magic. (5) Or by Meditation." The drug reference is concealed by use of the technical and less specific "Hatha Yoga". The writings attributed to Patanjali are classical Indian in origin. They were written somewhere between 300 and 500 e.v. The writings, with commentaries called "Yoga- Bhashya" and "Tattva-Vaisradi" are quite widely praised as a means of entrance into Indian methods of elevation of consciousness. A strong resemblance to be found between these Indian methods and the method here called the Path of Initiation points to a possible connection between the Hebrew Qabalah and the Indian Yoga methods.
To return to a consideration of the 23rd path connecting Hod and Geburah, it should be noted that this path may be prematurely traveled as a result of almost any major consciousness altering experience. To drugs, we must add medical shock from drastic physical or psychological accident; strong vicarious experience obtainable even from watching TV, reading a book or witnessing a remarkable event; and the effect of a sudden strong disorientation such as may be caused by trying to follow a conversation "beyond one's intellectual depth." A person can become "stoned" through the action of natural glandular secretions; in this we should include the effects of Epinephrine (Adrenalin) in cases of fright and the complex chemical conditions found in the bodies of psychotic schizophrenics.
Geburah (5) is associated with the War god Aries or Mars because of the power aspect of this level of consciousness. The term Geburah is translated as "Severity". Other names for number 5 include Din or "Justice" and Pachad or "Fear". Severity illustrates the nature of the level itself. Justice illustrates the means of attaining this level from Tipheret (path 22) as well as the general operation of this fifth level of consciousness. Fear refers both to the result of premature attainment of this fifth level and the reaction of other people to one who too openly exhibits this level of consciousness. These three descriptive words: Severity, Justice, and Fear can also be interpreted in several other ways as applying to the level number 5.
It should be repeated that the path from Hod to Geburah can be traveled correctly and safely only after some experience has been obtained in paths 32-24. The more experience the better.


The 22nd path connects 6 and 5. This path stabilizes Geburah. The Vision of Beauty of the Universe and the mind (6) is consolidated into a picture of a vast moving machine that is capable, in part, of being controlled by the mind and will of a human being. That human mind which has such a power over the manifestations of the physical and mental worlds is a mind at the consciousness level called Geburah. When it is said that: "power corrupts," the warning concerns a person who has some Geburah level awareness. Geburah power will only corrupt if it is imperfectly attained and if it is considered the last desirable level of attainment. Geburah must be balanced by Chesed just as Hod was balanced by Netzach. The 22nd path permits a perfect attainment of the Geburah consciousness. The Tarot card of Justice is associated to the 22nd path. This path proceeds from Tipheret by balancing elements of the Tipheret Vision against each other. This 22nd path applies a rational analysis to the Vision of number 6 to get the ordered power of number 5. This is a taking of the knowledge of the Vision of Tipheret, through the practice of reason, to attain a consciousness capable of great works of organization and strength.
At this point, the levels of consciousness numbered 10 to 5 and all their mutual interconnections (32-22) have been considered.


Number four, the next level, is very significant. It's the last stage of awareness that can be attained while in a human body. To pass beyond this a person must either be able to ignore the physical body or experience death of the physical body. Just being insensible of the body is enough for a certain measure of advancement beyond this point. No one has to die just because consciousness has reached Chesed. A person who has so attained can live a normal life span (some say much longer than a normal life span), but the physical body cannot contain a mind which has its principal consciousness farther up than level number 4. This level 4 is called Chesed, which can be translated as Love or Mercy. Netzach is love derived from feeling. Chesed is love derived from transcending feeling. The god associated with Chesed is Jupiter, the beneficent god, the god who rules everything in a kindly fashion. The War God of Geburah (5) is sometimes called the son and sometimes called the brother of this god. One finds that there are difficulties when some of the old mythologies are applied too literally to a study such as this. The numbers 4 and 5 are like the opposite faces on a Janus head. One denotes severity and the other mercy. The human consciousness at the level of Chesed yearns for union with God above all else. The mind at this 4th level sees everything else in existence to be rising up to union with God. That is the 4th level reaction to the 6th level vision.


Path 20 is next. This leads from the Vision (6) to Love (4). This path is represented by the Hermit in Tarot. The Hermit holds aloft a lantern to guide other people. This simply (6-4) means that the Vision is seen as a means of uniting the Deity with the lower creation. To a person who is on the 20th path, the vision of Tipheret has its chief value as a guide to draw others up to higher states of being. There is a six pointed star illustrated in the B.O.T.A. version of the Hermit Trump. That star corresponds to Tipheret, the 6th level of consciousness. The B.O.T.A. Tarot is especially useful in that the colors associated with various symbols in the design of the cards afford a clue to the meanings of those symbols. Thus the star in the card of the Hermit is yellow, a color that is associated with Tipheret in one system of color attributions to the 32 paths. (The colors associated with the Sephiroth in the "Queen Scale" are: Keter --- white; Chokmah --- gray; Binah --- black; Chesed --- blue; Geburah --- red; Tipheret --- yellow; Netzach --- green; Hod --- orange; Yesod --- purple; Malkut --- citrine, olive, russet and black.)


Path 19 connects Geburah (5) with Chesed (4). These two must be joined in the same fashion that Hod (8) and Netzach (7) are joined by Path 27. Both Chesed and Netzach are types of emotional awareness. The explosion that happened in path 27 won't happen in path 19 because the state of the latter is higher. More pain is felt at the lower levels than at the higher levels because the lower levels are closer to the physical body, which feels pain. The card of Strength corresponds to Path 19. This card shows a woman holding open the jaws of a lion. The lion is Reason and the woman is Love. The woman enables the lion of reason to speak and to adore God. On the 19th path, the power of Geburah (5) must be sacrificed to the service of God. That sacrifice brings the consciousness of the person making it into readiness to enter a mystical union with God. The readiness for that union is the 4th level of consciousness.

SUMMARY OF PATHS 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5 & 4

3, 2 & 1.
The series of 10 to 4 and 32 to 19 represents another compete set of states of consciousness. It has been mentioned above that beyond this point exist levels of consciousness not generally open to anyone who remains in the physical body. The area covered so far is called the Microcosm or Little World. The three above (3-1) are sometimes called the Macrocosm or Greater World. More often that name is reserved for number 1 alone. Strictly speaking, the whole set of 1 through 32 is the Macrocosm. We have gone over the lower seven Sephiroth (10-4); and a lot of philosophies and formal theologies are based on the number seven. The Theosophists try to derive their philosophy in part from Eastern sources, usually Indian. They often state that everything can be divided into seven categories or rays. These are our numbers 10 through 4, according to H.P.Blavatsky in her Secret Doctrine. The seven Chakras or awareness centers in the body can be identified with our numbers 10-4 (there are several other ways of associating the Chakras to the Tree of life.). It is said that there are also three originating sources (3-1) in many of these seven-based philosophies. There are many sacred words that are spelled with three letters. "AUM" is sometimes spelled with three letters in English and Sanscrit. Many occultist groups use three- letter symbolic words. Many old talismans from the first centuries of Christianity are engraved with the letters "IAO" or Iota-Alpha-Omega. The Latin word LVX has been used by alchemists and modern mystics.
The numbers 10-4 include the totality of the physical world. The physical world is not represented as penetrating any higher than number 4 on the Tree of Life. The numbers 3 through 1 are considered to be completely separate from the material levels. The consciousness associated with number 4 is complete dedication to the Deity. Anyone who attains that level of development has, through superiority to the lesser states of consciousness, complete power over the physical levels of existence. In actual practice, however, deficiencies in past development among the lower levels may make attainment to level 4 incomplete. In such a case, the proper thing to do is to return to the deficient levels at times and to make up what is lacking. It is not wise to try for perfection at each point during the first conscious pass up the Tree of Life. It is better to pass up at least to Chesed (4) without the loss of too much time (a few years may be considered reasonable the first time). Once the pattern of the Tree is established in the mind, these deficiencies may be more easily dealt with.
Those who have strongly attained to the levels of consciousness here represented by the numbers 6, 5 and 4 don't have dreams in the sense of an uncontrolled experience in the mind. Such individuals create their own dreams. Few indeed are such people. Hardly anyone can function on these higher levels of consciousness for any notable time. To live a life in one of these higher states of consciousness is almost impossible, simply because these states are so far removed from sensory experience. The attainment of numbers 6, 5 and 4 is a goal of Yoga, Meditation and Ritual. Because these three levels are such high understandings, one who has access to them can function very well in directing the magical practices that are down at the Hod (8) level. People who are in strong possession of the Tipheret Vision (6) can work seeming miracles. Some say that Jesus Christ was a man who attained to the Vision (6) and became able to rule everything below that Vision. Another name associated with Tipheret and number 6 is Malek, King.

PATHS 3,2 & 1.

(3, 2 & 1.)
Now it becomes necessary to deal with Crossing the Abyss. That phrase is used to describe the crossing of the gap between the numbers 10-4 and the numbers 3-1. This deals with passage into he world beyond the human body. The remainder of this treatment of the Path of Initiation will, of necessity, have to be brief. It is impossible to say much with words about things that transcend what words actually are. Words are sounds, things that mostly represent other things which can be seen, felt or touched. At their highest, words only symbolize abstractions of things that are known to the senses. Words are inadequate to describe the highest levels of consciousness. All that can be done is to project up ideas. The right hand column of the Tree of Life (2, 4 and 7) can be studied up to the number 4. The left hand column (3, 5 and 8) can be studied up to 5. The middle column (1, 6, 9 and 10) can be studied up to 6. From the Sephiroth below, the Sephiroth above can be theorized.


This process of projecting the higher Sephiroth upward (5-3) from the lower begins in the 19th path, corresponding to the Chariot in Tarot. This path links the reasoning consciousness at its highest level (5) to the consciousness of Absolute, Abstract Reason (3). This number 3 is called Binah, or Understanding. It is the Divine aspect of reason and is reasoning considered purely and without application to anything. This is something a little like the study of pure mathematics, but even more abstract than abstract algebra. The Chariot represents this path by showing the mind as a mighty king, enthroned in all his power and rising to his greatness, the Crown of Reason. In simple terms, to go from 5 to 3 means throwing away the world, throwing away sense based abstractions and going to pure abstractions. In 5 one might say: "It will rain today for such and such a reason." In 3 the mind deals with abstractions even farther divorced from the material than: "A is B. B is C. Therefore A is C." The consciousness associated with the number 3 is often viewed as a maternal thing, because the seven lesser Sephiroth can be produced from this consciousness as a baby is born from the womb of its mother. Pure logic is like the cause of creation, the cause of the manifested Universe.


Path 17 leads from the Vision of Tipheret (6) to Binah (3).This is represented in the card of the Lovers. The picture on this card is related to the story of the expulsion from the Garden of Eden. According to this story, Adam and Eve fell into trouble because they ate of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Eden was number 3, the place of perfect understanding. The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil is represented on the Tree of Life by the lower seven Sephiroth. Adam and Eve are said to have put on coats of flesh or skin, that is to say, they entered into more dense bodies and descended from the level of the pure creative, rational mind to that which deals with the physical. The passage was from pure knowing to material knowing. When the upper three Sephiroth (3-1) are added to the lower seven, the result is the complete Tree of Life. The symbolism of the 17th path is born out by the attribution of the Hebrew letter Zain to that path. Each of the 22 paths from 11 to 32 is associated with a Hebrew letter. In the case of path 17, the name of the letter Zain is also a Hebrew word meaning "Sword". This is said to be the sword of expulsion that moves every way to keep Adam and Eve from returning to paradise. Only when each individual human being has so perfected himself or herself that there is no division and no one thought can be made to oppose any other thought, only then can the mind journey from 6 to 3.


Love has to see something above it. That is found by (4-2) traveling along path 16, from 4 to 2. The number 2 is known as Chokmah, Wisdom. It is that which lies beyond feeling and emotion. It is that from which emotion distills. Path 16 is represented by the Tarot card of the Hierophant, the Great teacher.


From the Vision to Chokmah the path is numbered 15. The Tarot of the Emperor corresponds to this path from 6 to 2. This is the passage of the emotional force of the Tipheret Vision back to its higher source.


Path 14 is the connection between 3 and 2. This is the link between pure reason, the creative urge that makes a plan for an action (3), and pure desire for any action (2). The card which illustrates this connection is the Empress. The Woman on the card is pregnant with the world, and she sits on a bench called Eternity. Chokmah is sometimes called the Father and Binah is sometimes called the Mother. The union of 2 and 3 in 14 impregnates 3. That which is represented by the number 3 gives birth to the rest of the Sephiroth.


Rising up from Tipheret, one attains perfection and union with the Absolute. The number 6 ascends to 1 by path 13. Keter (1), the Crown, represents the Absolute God. The Tarot for this path is the High Priestess. This is the path of Memory and the end of Memory. The card also represents the subconscious mind functioning perfectly. The only thing that the human mind can understand while in the body about this passage beyond the most beautiful Vision that the body can sustain (6) is that everything that exists, has ever existed and will ever exist is perfect, without flaw and one with everything.


(3 & 1)
Path 12 connects 3 and 1. It is represented by the Magician in Tarot. The left column of the Tree of Life is especially
associated with the magical practices, and where these Sephiroth (3, 5 and 8) derive their nature from the One, we see the Magician. this path is the end of Form and the beginning of Form.


(2 & 1)
The path of the Fool is path 11 between 2 and 1. It shows how emotion comes out of the Absolute. This is the path of the end and beginning of Separation.



also called


0. From the state of undifferentiated being and non-being a single
existence is formed.

1. The one existence forms its counterpart, for one thing cannot

exist except in comparison to something else.

2. Two opposites cry out for union, in that union a third is born.

3. The union of opposites forms a model for the logical processes

and becomes the key to multiplying manifestations.

4. The multiplying of manifestations cries out for control.

5. Restriction of multiplication permits the ordering of creation.

6. Ordering creation permits the multiplication of consciousness.

7. Multiplied consciousness cries out for an order between entities.

8. Ordered entities breed complex interactions.

9. Complex interactions become crystallized into a fixed state.

10. A fixed state cries out for union with the One.






also called


10. The physical world of sense consciousness.

32. 10-9. The first step on the path of return to the One.

9. The Dream consciousness.

31. 10-8. The application of reason to the sense consciousness.
30. 9-8. The application of reason to the dream consciousness.

8. The ration world-view obtained from the senses and the dream.

29. 10-7. The emotional reaction to the sense consciousness.
28. 9-7. The emotional reaction to the dream consciousness.
27. 8-7. The meeting and union of rational and emotional


7. The emotional world-view obtained from the senses and the dream.

26. 8-6. The raising of the lower reason to the vision of the Cosmos.
25. 9-6. The perfecting of the Dream into the Vision of Beauty.
24. 7-6. The emotions embrace the Vision.

6. The consciousness of the Beauty of the Cosmos in a single Vision.

23. 8-5. Reason shifts its basis from the senses to the Ideal.
22. 6-5. Reason draws the Laws of the Universe from the Vision.

5. The consciousness of the Order and Law of the Cosmos.

21. 7-4. Emotion embraces all Karma as Dharma.
20. 6-4. Emotion accepts the Vision as a love-making with the One.
19. 5-4. Rational order accepts the guidance of Live.

4. The consciousness of unalloyed desire for union with the One.

18. 5-3. Reason and the Rational are purified into Pure Reason.
17. 6-3. The Vision is unified on the side of Reason.

3. The Crown of all logic and Reason.

16. 4-2. Emotion and Love are purified into Pure Desire.
15. 6-2. The Vision is unified on the Side of Emotion.
14. 3-2. The Pure Reason returns to the Pure Desire.

2. The Crown of all Emotion and Desire.

13. 6-1. The Vision returns to the Absolute Existence.
12. 3&1. The Crown of Reason is one with the Absolute.
11. 2&1. The Crown of Emotion is one with the Absolute.

1. The Crown of Existence is ABSOLUTE BEING.

Another step-by-step study of the Tree will be found in Appendix A.

While I journeyed toward Hod, I continued to develop my techniques in astral projection. All work on the astral is limited by nature to Yesod. When higher levels are reached on the astral, they are projections from the actual higher levels down into Yesod. Astral vision may accompany consciousness as it ascends to higher Sephiroth, but it is no more than the obedience of Yesod to her betters. Astral vision is an important tool, but it is less important than reason. Reason is the tool of Hod and is in its own turn subordinate to emotion, the tool of Netzach. More will be said about these matters below.

Late in July I returned to New Jersey to visit again my friend, Joe. I received the honor of being best man at his wedding to the fair Lois, a lady of many charms and much practical wisdom. May they both be blessed.

Before I went off to New Jersey, I received a visit from my Holy Guardian Angel in the person of one Edwardo. Edwardo acted unconsciously as a medium for a time, but the Angel is mostly using other channels now. Reception was not always very clear. Edwardo remains my very good friend. It's just as well that my Angel no longer uses him so much in this fashion. It was a bit hard on him.

About this time I finished making my first magical robe. The design is similar in some ways to that shown in the illustrations to Crowley's Magick in Theory and Practice. The basic garment is of heavy, black satin; and a separate hood of the same material has a white hexagram in place of a face. Crowley placed the hexagram on the top of his hood and cut eye-holes below. I moved the star downward and made it transparent to replace the holes. It is always best to make such things oneself, and to add alterations that make the things unique.

While visiting in the East, I performed a ritual to rout the last traces of my virginity hangup. In this invocation of the Whore of Babalon I used my Yesod name for the first time. This name in English had finally settled down to: "The Dreamer and the Dream." When I translated it into Hebrew, the name became more meaningful.
On returning home, I rendered my Yesod name into Hebrew and obtained gematria for it via Frater Fons Numeris' Number Dictionaries:

Diary; 7/28/72; "This name is my 2 = 9 motto.

I Dream the Dream:

Mem-finalLamedChetHay Mem-finalLamedChet

Chalem Ha-Chalem

whose number is 161 (1281 by finals)

161 = 1 + 6 + 1 = 8 = Hod, the next grade to this.
161 = 7 x 23 = sevenfold highest soul (7 times the numeration of Yechidah).
161 = YodAlephNunQof = Zealot, for the grade before.
161 = HayNunVauTetTzaddiAleph = cylinder.
161 = AlephLamedPehNun = marvelous, wonderful.
161 = HayAlephLamedYodAyin Mem-finalDaletAleph = the heavenly man.
161 = HayVauHayYod LamedHayQof = marvelous, wonderful.
161 = CUM LUCE SALUTEM = with light salutation.
161 = JEHESHUAH MIHI OMNIA = HayVauShinHayYod is my all.
161 = SOL INVISIBILIS = the invisible sun.
161 = TERRESTREITAS = Earthiness.
161 = Beginning is united to beginning.

The gates continue.

In the nearly two months that I spend under the influence of the gate PehVau, many things happened.
I studied the rituals of the Order of the Golden Dawn that apply to the lower five Sephiroth. These aided me in my growth.
The "Renaissance Faire" started in Marin County. Fr. Fons Numeris and I participated in a booth with Barbara, a friend of F.N. We set up as Tarot readers in an obscure corner of the "Faire" grounds. Our booth was a simple affair, just cloth sides and unstretched canvas paintings. In the back of the booth was displayed Fons Numeris' version of Eliphas Levi's "Great Symbol of Solomon." To the right and the left were my renditions of the "Rose of Creation" and the "Heptagram of the Seven Days" combined with the "Seven-branched Candlestick." These two show the twelve signs of the Zodiac and the Seven Ancient Planets in Hebrew, Greek and Latin. Barbara painted a splendid wooden sign which hung on chains before the booth. Our costumes were appropriate to the theme of the "Faire." Barbara dressed as a gypsy while F.N. and I wore linen robes with hoods. over the course of the "Faire," I embroidered various talismanic devices on my robe. These I took from Mathers' version of the Greater Key of Solomon. I chose one talisman for each of the lower seven Sephiroth, using a color appropriate. I fully understood the meanings of all these except certain cryptic words on the Venusian talisman I choose to link to Netzach. This one flaw reflected my own weak place on the Tree of Life. I had come to know something of each of the lower seven, except Netzach, the Sephira of physical emotion. My defect was reflected in my garment. Later, I used this robe in ritual meditation. Many of the old rules restricting the use of magical things no longer apply, and strength can be gained in the display of secrets. When they are known to many, some mysteries become greater. To know is not to master.

Over the course of the "Faire" we met many people. Some lasting friendships resulted, and we gained colleagues. One of these was Peter, poet and mystic.
While talking with Peter, I received a sign that my initiation into Hod was near. Hod is the Sephira corresponding to Mercury and to practical magical working. Up to that time I have been mainly a theorist in practical magick. What few occasions I had had for spells, charms and the like had been fraught with difficulties. I could do many things, but only after exhausting ritual. The results were usually just not worth the work, easier to obtain in less fantastic ways. I had to build myself up artificially to work my will magically. Since I lacked the initiated powers of Hod, my magick was sluggish. This time things were different. What I did was no great thing, but it was both effortless and instantly effective. Peter and I stood conversing on a hillside. All at once, some bagpipers about thirty feet away struck up their music. Conversation became impossible. Peter shouted to me something like: "I guess that's the end of this talk." I shouted back: "Just a moment," and took up my wand, cut from a young sapling by a single stroke at top and three at bottom to show the unity of the trinity, and carved with the characters prescribed by Solomon, and pointed it at the players. I quickly moved the tip through the form of the Banishing Pentagram of Earth. At that moment someone passed between me and the players, and I uttered a soft expletive. The players immediately stopped and walked away. They couldn't have heard or seen what I had done. They simply went away. Food for thought.

I continued to distribute my pamphlet and to begin new works. I started writing my book of Words of Power, the Basis of Ritual. When it is complete, it will offer a comprehensive listing of the magical names of spirits used by the Order of the golden Dawn in astrological workings and on the Tree. Most of these names will be given in both English and Hebrew. The Names corresponding to the Sephiroth will be analyzed letter-by-letter to show their magical significance. This part is finished now, with over seventy examples. More than a dozen different techniques of the literal Qabalah will be given, with examples and procedures for analyzing the various words of power in Hebrew, Latin, Greek and the vernacular. Crowley's "Bartzabel" ritual will be appended with my commentary and a new glossary. This book is being delayed while research continues. I wish to present origins of as many of the Names as possible, and that takes time. A technique for letter-by-letter analysis of Words of Power will be presented below.
About this time, our classes began to give out. The heat of the Summer had taken its toll, and it was time to digest what we had done. I finished typing up the transcripts of my lectures. There were, in all, ten meetings of the Ritual Magick class; and these furnished much material for Words of Power.
My mind was filled with a thousand names of god, yet I didn't have the One Name to unite myself with God. I dwelt in all names and in silence.

Late in September, I received a vision of a stage to come, initiation into the royal Sephira of Tipheret. The image of a King is traditionally connected to this Sephira. There was also a warning.


9/23/72 e.v.

This vision is of myself as a king, crowned by a golden crown, points set with golden spheres and surrounded by a ribbed band. I am lean and hungry, yet not prompted toward motion. I have a short, black beard; my hair is black. I sit my throne in silence. I am a beggar king with a true gold crown.
Thus again to this task. Time is a pretty illusion to catch thee, little brother. There is that which seems precious and which must have time. That is a matter which we shall indulge in You. It is not of concern. Should you not complete the work in this "life," there shall be so many more. It is done, you know. There is no turning back. The age wears on like a tired thread to a hopeless confusion. You are one of the little ones who shall be raised to largeness for a purpose. Accept the task in earnest, and it shall reward thee of its substance. Strive against True Will, O'h child, and be left a pauper after the same works.

On the next day I meditated again and received a name for Hod. My initiation to that Sephira was not yet complete, but the name came before.


9/24/72 e.v.

Come O'h bearer of the shining lamp! Come to me and light my way. A quick spark that flies before the whirlwind shall tend to a signal flare. Thus the day wears on to it's surcease. Thus the appointed rounds of the living.
At last! The flame burns well upon the wick. Come near and draw warmth from a golden fire. Know that there is nothing between you and me. Nothing at all stands upon the brink of the way. Yet apart we seem. Not so! This is a jest made by the mindless. We come to such in days beyond our call. Yet are there such? Will time become again what it may be again? This, as all questions, has no answer. It is the question that is false to the lips of a man. Come not to me with questions of that and that. They keep us apart where we are closely one. This is not the thing. This is a shadow wheel cast by the whirlwind of an unplumbed Abyss.
I am with you all days even unto the consummation of the world. Thus spake Christ and a thousand before. Christ lied. He had a demon. I am that Demon. The lie was told to those who heard only lies and learned thereby the truth. Thou hast a demon, thou and Socrates. This demon others have called God. To you there is no god. There is no demon either. There is but all things in all things. Purpose swims in a close pattern. The time approaches for you to assume a name for Hod. This is "All Things in All things." This does not signify a passage over the Tree. This is the mark of time. After Chesed the names mean nothing. Heed well the work O'h child of the way. Farewell! We never truly part!

I translated this name into Hebrew and obtained meanings for it by gematria. In that, Frater Fons Numeris' number dictionaries were indispensable:

The Name of Hod, 3 = 8

"All Things in All Things."

Mem-finalYodReshBetDalet-LamedKafBet Mem-finalYodReshBetDalet-LamedKaf

Kol-Dabarim Be-Kol-Dabarim

whose number is 614 (1734 by finals).

614 = 6 + 1 + 4 = the path of Aleph. The Sephira Da'at.
1 + 1 = 2 = Chokmah --- Wisdom.
614 = 2 x 307 --- within Ribkah.
307 = 125th gate; 63rd prime:
AlephVauShin --- vanity, nothingness;
TzaddiYodBetReshHay --- to flay or strike, to spread knowledge;
ReshMemZain YodLamedKaf --- musical instruments.
614 = 2 x 307 = the double existence manifested through hard
won knowledge and ordered action.
614 = TawVauReshChet = palm leaf, freedom.
614 = Mem-finalVauChet = brown.
614 = ReshYodDaletTaw = frequent, constant.
614 = ChetVauTawResh = boiling.
614 = TawYodBetBetResh = one ten-thousandth.
1743 = 3 x 7 x 83
1743 = Alpha-nu-alpha-kappa-tau-alpha-upsilon-rho-omicron-omega = recrucify, crucify afresh.

The gates of Peh continue.


9/25/72 e.v.

Come to the passage of minds. Let the day of awakening commence. There shall be food for minds enough to fill an abyss of hungry doubt. Come and join with us.
The fulfillment of the work is near. Complete the task at hand down to a single piece of work, and then attend to the needs of the worldly flesh. This is fitting. So shall it be that all things shall be well attended. Nothing is left out.

Finish this with the letters in the Body...

The meditation ended with an attribution of the letters of the Hebrew Alphabet to various parts of the human body. This has been adapted for use with the Cube of Space ritual. See Appendix D.

The gate of PehTet provided instruction in the preparation of a set of simple rituals.

9/27/72 e.v.

The light comes to those who make ready. Accordingly, make ready and receive the light.
The task soon to come will be new rituals. This shall you do when the spirit moves you. Let the magick be performed between two lovers. Best that they be upright and united face-to-face. Then shall they meditate according to your writings. Several versions of the Tree of Life. Several of the Cube of Space. Several of the Bodies. Let them select what they will of those rituals. Provide of each type four examples. One in simple images. One in slight abstractions, stories. One in rational description. One in pure color and form. The lovers may each pass into and unite each with the other's body, in each and every part.
This is to be a holy work. Let nothing profane it.
Yet you may derive a profit for the continuance of life and the pursuit of the Great Work.
Many are the tasks which shall be set before you. Take heart, for the way is long but at each step the reward increases by a thousand thousand.
Come unto me O'h my little one. Great is my love for thee. We shall join our flesh in Heaven and in Hell, spanning a gap no other way could know.
Come unto me O'h my beloved. There shall never be a darker or a brighter love.
Come unto me dearest child, that I may foster life within thee.

The next meditation confirmed my passage into Hod at the time of the meditation. It also gave a diagnosis of my progress over the paths of the Tree of Life and a prognostication of things to come. Where letters of the Hebrew alphabet are mentioned in the meditation of PehYod, they refer to the paths of the Tree of Life and progress along those paths.


9/29/72 e.v.

And again the light does grow. This is a time of great awakening. Yet that awakening need not be easy. It is to your own efforts, the ease of that awakening. Strive and be satisfied. Await without true desire and be overwhelmed by the teachings of harsh mistress world.
Bright grows the light. Seek the light in all things.
Soon the grade of Hod will be conferred. Then prepare Netzach. Time enough. You must learn much. Love is a thing that must shine out in ways yet unseen.
Fear nothing. All will come according to True Will. It is only the falseness of time and a reluctance to see clearly that holds back. There is much that hangs about this life that is like drapery about a stage. This is not an evil thing; yet remember that such fittings may easily be changed without alteration of the substance of the central thing. New trappings make a semblance of change. In the center there is no change, for change itself is an essential mark of the unchanging. It matters little, such a paradox. These have value only in that they intoxicate and raise to holiness. Yet they also mislead. Speak plainly and in the language and forms of your listeners.
Scorn no one. Scorn not even the walking dead. Have they not foolishly given of their lives that the little ones may each live brighter lives? These have gone a far way and now return to soft ash. Their fires once burned brightly. They nourish within a glowing coal to set a world aflame. Tend to the tinder that the fire within burn ever.
Rest comes often enough to the dead.
Die then O'h weary one, to walk in strength on the bright morning of eternity.
Dreams quicken. Labors of will draw onward. The dreams are Yesod. They shall be with you always. The quickening is Resh to Hod. The labors are Shin to Hod. The product is Hod. When well won these are well kept. Know then that you have now become initiated into Hod. The ceremony was the work of 32 Emanations ... The Pronouncement of initiation is this understanding of the way. Long shall Hod be yours.
Always by the paths of Resh and Shin.
Shin --- the classes.
Resh --- the labor of the mind.
Shin --- the work of the printing and writing.
Resh --- the visioning and expressing.
Hod --- the finished work.
Toward Netzach:
Qof --- works in nature to speak to others.
Tzaddi --- thoughts communicated and efforts taken.
Peh --- the strong bursting of one thought of order from one to anther.


10/1/72 e.v.

Hod comes before Netzach that the emotions may be viewed and ordered. Pleasures grow but carefully and must be constantly watched. Hod watches, Netzach provides. The way between is sharp with blendings and reparations. This is good, and this is necessary.
Qof --- Matter to Netzach. The material basis is the life I lead.
This has had much improvement. Only a little is needed.
Tzaddi --- Mind to Netzach. This needs much, although much has
been done. My fantasies must alter until they can be fulfilled.
Peh --- Will to Netzach. Much done. Much to do. Still too rigid.
Much to do with holding Netzach.
This is my Hod-awareness of the Netzach degree. Soon I must advance along the roads prepared. Very soon. My Netzach name shall come soon, but my initiation is yet unclear; both in its form and in its time. I hope for love, both personal and sexual. There is a lady who could be the one, but it is for the Great Ones to decide.
Soon I shall obtain a Hod level realization of Ayin, Samekh and Nun. This is to be an understanding of the place of these within my life.
Remember, the Tree is climbed in all parts --- ever.

In the next meditation, I used my magical names for Malkut, Yesod and Hod as a part of ritual projection of the Tree of Life (see Appendix E.). That was done during the intensive part of the ritual meditation, before the written part. The intensive ritual meditation lasted 54 minutes on this occasion.


10/9/72 e.v.

Come Ancient One, come to the daybreak of the Hidden Sun. A cry has gone forth: "The Great Pan is Dead!" It is a truth and a lie. There is no Pan and there is no death. There is Pan and there is death. Come to the place beneath a mighty stone. Crawl and fly. Cry out and murmur. There shall be such an awakening as the world has not seen since.

In the following meditation of the gate PehNun, a gate of past explosion, I received a task and a commission.


10/11/72 e.v.

To the matter at hand; attend it closely and well. It shall raise your name to certain places and there shall come many to join with you. Be confident. Be strong. Be faithful.
Much has started. Dalet dances in Resh. Bet acts to focus Aleph. Attend that Lamed does the job. Draw all the letters forth and serve them well. This do also with as many tongues as may be.
Realize that these things are communicated to and through you.

This knowledge is a gift by the wayside.

The task appointed was the setting of simple meanings to the letters of the Hebrew alphabet. I looked for a code similar to that used by Carlo Suares in his Cypher of Genesis but easer to apply and more simply structured. This code was needed to make the book Words of Power more useful. The code came on October 14, 1972 e.v. I give here the portion of Words of Power; the Basis of Ritual which describes this code. It is not the same as the one used by Suares; but it is similar and to my mind conformal with that code. I follow this presentation with examples of its application to virtually all of the Golden Dawn Names of spirits associated to the planet Venus and the Sephira Netzach. By this code the names of God are rendered into simple formulas whereby the mind may quickly soar to zenith! The names of angels are made helpers! The names of devils and the lower sort of Demons are made to teach virtues!

Brief Meanings of the Hebrew Letters

In the examples which follow, several sets of correspondences to the Alphabet of Hebrew Letters have been merged into simple ideas. These ideas form a sort of code to the meaning of the Letters. This code is a personal language and will be somewhat different for each individual. There is much to be learned from such a code, even if it is not ones own.

The Hebrew Alphabet is divided into four parts, corresponding to the four ancient elements. Three Mother Letters correspond to Fire and the archetypes of all that exists. Seven Double Letters correspond to Water and the basic forms derived from the archetypes. Twelve Single Letters are the detailed states and forces of creation and correspond to Air. Five Final Letters exhibit the ultimate state at the end of the creative process and correspond to Earth.

The Three Mother Letters are Aleph (Aleph), Mem (Mem) and Shin (Shin).

Aleph, (Aleph), is Absolute Being, pure existence without any sort of condition.

Mem, (Mem), is Immortal Substance, able to take any form, possessed of no form of its own.

Shin, (Shin), is Pure Force, not restricted to any purpose and able to work any result.

The Seven Double Letters are Bet (Bet), Gimel (Gimel), Dalet (Dalet), Koph (Kaf), Peh (Peh), Resh (Resh) and Taw (Taw).

Bet, (Bet), combines the meanings of Aleph and Shin. Bet is a conduit for directing (Shin) the flow of existence (Aleph). Bet may be described as a way of doing, a path to follow, a container for Being that is open at both ends.
The word "ShinAleph" in Hebrew means: "fire" and "foundation".

Gimel, (Gimel), combines the meanings of Aleph and Mem. Gimel embodies the mysterious connection between existence (Aleph) and substance without form (Mem). Because form is absent, the nature of the combination cannot be understood, only felt. This is the secretiveness and hiddenness of Gimel.
In Hebrew, "MemAleph" signifies: "Mother", "whither" and "if".

Dalet, (Dalet), combines the meanings of Shin and Mem. Dalet is the quickening or forcing (Shin) of pure substance (Mem) into rapid production of many forms. Because these forms lack the quality of Aleph, they do not persist. Dalet is full of images of anything and everything.
In Hebrew, "MemShin" means: "name", "where" and "sign".

Koph, (Kaf), combines the meanings of Bet and Gimel. Koph is a directing (Bet) of invigorated substance (Gimel) into forms that progress through cycle after cycle of modification toward perfection. This process is analogous to the actions of an artist who sketches, erases and re- sketches until a finished work is produced.
In Hebrew: "GimelBet" means "food".

Peh, (Peh), combines the meanings of Bet and Dalet. Peh is an uncovered container (Bet) of many images (Dalet). These images burst forth like the spirits of evil from the opened box of Pandora. Peh is a crying out that may bring pain or blessing in its revelations.
In Hebrew: "DaletBet" signifies "separated thing", "linen cloth" and "speech" in the sense of "prattling".

Resh, (Resh), combines the meanings of Gimel and Dalet. Resh is a working out of the hidden and invisible nature of things (Gimel) through many forms and images (Dalet). This is what happens in the human mind when meanings become attached to things seen.
In Hebrew: "DaletGimel" means "destiny".

Taw, (Taw), combines all the above letters and their meanings. Taw is the totality of created things.
In Hebrew: "ShinMemAleph" means: "to pass away", "yesterday" and "night". This is the passing of the three purest states into the night of matter. "DaletGimelBet" means: "cover" and "conceal". "ReshPehKaf" means: "to cover" and "to be strong".

The Twelve Simple Letters are Heh (Hay), Vau (Vau), Zain (Zain), Chet (Chet), Tet (Tet), Yod (Yod), Lamed (Lamed), Nun (Nun), Samekh (Samekh), Ayin (Ayin), Tzaddi (Tzaddi), and Qof (Qof).

Heh, (Hay), combines the meanings of Aleph and Koph. Heh is pure being (Aleph) coming into order (Koph). Heh is alteration of form to fulfill a purpose. Heh is an abstract modifying process.
In Hebrew: "KafAleph" signifies: "that", "but" and "only".

Vau, (Vau), combines the meanings of Aleph and Peh. Vau is a revealing (Peh) of the fundamental unity of all that exists (Aleph). Vau joins and declares union.
In Hebrew: "PehAleph" signifies: "addition", "breathing", "face" and "also".

Zain, (Zain), combines the meanings of Aleph and Resh. Zain is a rationalizing (Resh) about all that exists (Aleph). Zain is a sword that divides all that can be divided. This is like the process of analysis in the human mind.
In Hebrew: "ReshAleph" signifies: "burn".

Chet, (Chet), combines the meanings of Aleph and Taw. Chet is the containment (Taw) of existence (Aleph) in a way that conserves and still permits expression.
In Hebrew: "TawAleph" signifies: "token", "thou", "plowshare" and "self". It is also a word having no English equivalent and meaning roughly: "this is so!".

Tet, (Tet), combines the meanings of Shin and Koph. Tet is the power (Shin) of cycles of creation and change (Koph). Tet is the power that comes out of nature.
In Hebrew: "KafShin" signifies: "thorn", "hedge" and "enclosure".

Yod, (Yod), combines the meanings of Shin and Peh. Yod is the power (Shin) of revelation (Peh). This is the fiery power of the act of creation.
In Hebrew: "PehShin" signifies: "to grind", "to rub" and "to polish".

Lamed, (Lamed), combines the meanings of Shin and Resh. Lamed is the power (Shin) that relates one thing to another (Resh) and regulates their relationship until perfect balance is attained between their qualities.
In Hebrew: "ReshShin" signifies: "walls", "tile", "band", "master" and "tumult".

Nun, (Nun), combines the meanings of Shin and Taw. Nun is the power (Shin) that transforms all things (Taw). Nun changes created things from one form into another.
In Hebrew: "TawShin" signifies: "column", "noble", "buttocks" and "tumult".

Samekh, (Samekh), combines the meanings of Mem and Koph. Samekh is the process that makes the substance of creation (Mem) strong and perfect through matching things against their opposites (Koph). Samekh is like the tempering of metals through heating and hammering. Samekh is testing and trial, like the trial of faith of Job.
In Hebrew: "KafMem" signifies: "to become poor" and "lowly".

Ayin, (Ayin), combines the meanings of Mem and Peh. Ayin is the substance (Mem) of created things exposed (Peh) to the mind. This provides insight into the form, structure and effect of created things. The perceptions that come through Ayin do not always pass through to the abstract, but are mostly limited to that which is immediately associated with nature and natural activity.
In Hebrew, "PehMem" is the name of the Egyptian city of Memphis, "the house of Phtah."

Tzaddi, (Tzaddi), combines the meanings of Mem and Resh. Tzaddi is the process whereby understanding (Resh) of the substance (Mem) of the created is obtained. In the human mind, this takes the form of meditation on a particular object, experience or state of mind. Tzaddi draws wisdom from nature.
In Hebrew: "ReshMem" signifies: "drop", "bitter", "sad" and "fierce".

Qof, (Qof), combines the meanings of the letters Mem and Taw. Qof is the process that makes a reality of substance (Mem) in the forms of creation (Taw). Qof is a hidden sort of process, more to be experienced by the whole being of a person than to be understood by the mind alone.
In Hebrew: "TawMem" signifies: "Man" and "death".

The Five Final Letters are special forms taken by the letters Koph (Kaf-final), Mem (Mem-final), Nun (Nun-final), Peh (Peh-final) and Tzaddi (Tzaddi-final) when they appear at the ends of words.

Koph final, (Kaf-final), combines the meanings of the letters Heh, Tet and Samekh. Koph final is that which acts to organize, energize and develop created things.

Mem final, (Mem-final), combines the meanings of the letters Vau, Yod and Ayin. Mem final is matter itself, that which unites all the forces of creation into a single formation.

Nun final, (Nun-final), combines the meanings of the letters Zain, Lamed and Tzaddi. Nun final is thought in created minds which analyzes, synthesizes and understands.

Peh final, (Peh-final), combines the meanings of the letters Chet, Nun and Qof. Peh final is the life of creatures, which is contained in bodies, which passes out of them at the transformation called death and which gives purpose to all the rest through evolution of higher forms.

Tzaddi final, (Tzaddi-final), combines the meanings of the letters Koph final, Mem final, Nun final and Peh final. Tzaddi final is the unending activity in all creation which brings all creatures in contact with each other and which expresses life.

The method by which these meanings can be used to analyze words will be made clear in the following examples. These examples use the names of spirits associated in the tradition followed by the Golden Dawn with Venus and Netzach. I have provided additional information about each of these names from Words of Power; the Basis of Ritual. There are many more examples of this sort in that work. In what follows, the words written in actual Hebrew letters are written in the usual manner for Hebrew, right to left. When the letters from these words are written in English, the reading is left to right, as is proper for English.

First, the name of the Sephira to which Venus corresponds on the Tree of Life. This is: "Netzach", which means "Victory through Endurance" in English.

The Seventh Sephira.
ChetTzaddiNun Nun-Tzaddi-Chet.
Transforming change (Nun) enlightens the natural mind (Tzaddi) by containment of transformation and the perceptive mind (Chet).
Nun --------- Change that replaces one form with its opposite.
Tzaddi ------ The perception of truth by the minds of the created.
Chet -------- The containment of both change and perception.
Netzach elaborates the plan of creation through the minds of the created. This is done through the teachings of experience and through alternations of appearances.

Next consider the Divine Name attributed to the Sephira Netzach. Divine Names represent the level of highest abstraction and greatest spirituality on Qabalistic hierarchy.

The Divine Name for Netzach and Venus is: "Jehovah Tzabaot" Which translates into English as: "He/She is splendor"
TawVauAlephBetTzaddi HayVauHayYod
Yod-Heh-Vau-Heh Tzaddi-Bet-Aleph-Vau-Taw.
The creating force (Yod) passes into order (Heh) to establish unity (Vau) in the ordering process (Heh). Mental processes (Tzaddi) are the way (Bet) whereby the Absolute (Aleph) is joined (Vau) to the created (Taw).
Yod -------- The creating power.
Heh -------- Order.
Vau -------- Union, joining.
Heh -------- Order in the abstract, the principle of Order.
Tzaddi ----- The mental processes as they can occur in the created.
Bet -------- That which serves as a channel for action, method.
Aleph ------ Absolute being.
Vau -------- That which joins or unites.
Taw -------- All created things.
Jehovah Tzabaot establishes the principle of unity in rational processes, both those that occur in the conscious minds of the created beings and those that are implicit in the workings of nature.
This name is found in the Old Testament, where it is often translated as "Lord of Hosts." Traditionalists often obscure when translating from the Torah. The worst example that occurs to mind involves the first use of a Divine Name in Sacred Scripture. The name "Elohim" in Genesis I:1 is almost always translated as "God." Any decent Hebrew dictionary will indicate that this word is actually a masculine plural of a feminine noun. The nearest thing to a direct translation of this word is "Gods" or perhaps "Male and Female Deities." Thus, all English Bibles should begin: "In the Beginning the Male Gods and Female Goddesses created this the Heaven and this the Earth."

Next in sequence after the Divine Name is the Archangelic Name. This name represents the level of pure mental operation. The Archangels are the architects of creation and creative activity.
The usual Archangelic Name associated to the Sephira Netzach is:
"Haniel" which is "The Ship of God" in English.
Order directs (Heh) existence (Aleph) to pass through transformations (Nun) in the process of creation (Yod). Existence (Aleph) is harmonized (Lamed).
Heh --------- The purpose behind creation, order within creation.
Aleph ------- Pure Being.
Nun --------- Extreme change.
Yod --------- The power that creates.
Aleph ------- Existence.
Lamed ------- Harmony.
Haniel produces those great changes that include physical death and rebirth. These changes or transformations advance the forms of things into materialization. Haniel acts as a producer of change, not as physical change itself.
The spelling used here for Haniel in Hebrew agrees with the form given in Calendarium Naturale Magicum Perpetuum ..., printed in 1582 e.v. at the direction of Tycho Brahe. This source lists many of the names used by the Golden Dawn in the Nineteenth and Twentieth centuries. Other spellings exist, and some translate the name as "Grace of God."

After the Archangels, come the Orders of Angels. Each Angelic Order represents a particular aspect of the beginning of action, feeling and morality in creation. The Angels are the workers of creation, the individual forces and actions necessary to produce the world. Lists of Angelic Orders which include the names used by the Order of the Golden Dawn have been found in the writings of first and second century Christians and in the Sephir Ha-Zohar. Most of these names come directly from the Hebrew version of the Old Testament.
Two Hebrew names are often used for the Angelic Order of Netzach. The first and more common of these is:
"Elohim" or "Male and Female Deities" in English.
Existence (Aleph) is harmonized (Lamed) through order (Heh) by the power that creates (Yod) matter (Memfinal).
Aleph ------- Pure Being.
Lamed ------- That which harmonizes.
Heh --------- Abstract order.
Yod --------- The creating power.
Mem final --- Matter.
The Elohim are active creators of the World. They function in accordance with Divine plan (Heh).
This name is found in Genesis I:1 and in many other places in the Bible. Elohim is also used as a Divine Name.

The alternative name for the Angelic Order of Netzach is:
"Tharshisim," in English "Ships of great Beauty." The name literally means "Those from Tarshish" or "The Ships of Tarshish." This name is used in Isiah frequently to denote an image of great beauty. The ships that sailed from the port of Tarshish were renown in Biblical days for their magnificence.
The world (Taw) is rational (Resh); and Divine Will (Shin) creates (Yod) through mundane will (Shin) in the creation (Yod) of matter (Memfinal).
Taw --------- All created things.
Resh -------- Mind.
Shin -------- Pure will.
Yod --------- The power of creation in action.
Shin -------- Pure will.
Yod --------- The creative power in action.
Mem final --- Matter.
The Tharshisim work with created things and the pure Will of the Absolute to continue the process of creation. They bear the things of the world about in beauty, and they please the created senses.
The Hebrew spelling is found in the Hebrew version of Isiah, II:16; "And upon all the ships of Tarshish, and upon all delightful imagery." Christian D. Ginsburg, in his The Kabbalah, cites Daniel X:6 with reference to this name. This reference is copied by Mathers in his plagiarized introduction to The Kabbalah Unveiled. The text in Daniel does not contain this name. The only obvious connection between this text and Netzach or Venus comes from its use of the name of a metal sacred to Venus in the description of an angel.
Advanced students of Qabalah might like to meditate further on the spelling of this name. There are further mysteries concealed in the arrangement and repetition of the letters.

Next below the Angelic Orders are the Planetary Spheres. The planet associated with Netzach, as has been said, is Venus. The Hebrew word used to designate Venus is:
"Nogah", which literally means "Splendor" or "Glamour".
Transformation (Nun) joins (Vau) with the subtle (Gimel) order of creation (Heh).
Nun --------- That which transforms one thing into another.
Vau --------- That which joins and establishes.
Gimel ------- The invisible nature of things.
Heh --------- The order underlying creation.
Nogah transforms created things into one another in accordance with the purpose of creation. Nogah possesses the power of changing a thing by growth into another thing. Nogah adds motion to creation.
Nogah is also the word used in ancient Qabalah to identify the last of the four traditional Qlipoth, that of illusion or "shining".

The planetary Spheres include the lower stages of creation, actual manifestation in material forms. There are several traditional types of spiritual beings that are more closely associated with the planets than with the corresponding Sephiroth. The Order of the Golden Dawn used such Spirits.
The Angel of Venus is both distinct from the Archangel and the Angelic Order. The name of the ruling Angel of Venus is:
"Anael", which means in English, "a Ship of God".
This name differs from the name of the Archangel associated with Netzach only in the absence of the letter "Heh", the definite article in Hebrew. This is the third name found to have association with Venus and also found to signify a ship. Allusion to Venus as the womb of nature fits well with the image of the hold of a ship.
If the code be applied to the letters of the name Anael, it will be found that only the idea of dominating order is absent from the similar study made of Hanael. This means that the Angel of the Planet Venus is less guided than the Archangel of the Sephira Netzach. Anael is closer to the small work of creation but cannot follow the general plan of creation as surely as Hanael. Thus Hanael is better to summon in planning a thing corresponding to Venus; Anael is better in the working stages. There are other names that descend further into matter.
The name Anael is found associated with Venus in Tyco Brahe's Calendarium and in the 13th century Heptameron of Peter de Abano.

Beneath the Angels of the planets are the Intelligences of the planets. These are the lowest of the spirits associated to the planets that are regarded as being more- or-less "good" in the theory of the G D. By that theory, which is somewhat at variance with Merkabah Qabalah as to detail on this point, beings below this level are said to have a predominance of "evil" in their makeup. "Evil" may be translated into modern terms as "pain". There is no absolute good or evil. There is only a state of Existence which is equally called "good" or "evil" according to the psychology of the person experiencing. Optimistic people and people successful in their desires usually consider the Universe to be "good". Pessimistic people and people usually frustrated in their desires tend to see the Universe as "evil". Spirits represented by Divine Names through Planetary Intelligences tend to satisfy and give pleasure when properly invoked. This is the manner in which they aid and teach, the gentle manner. Spirits below the level of the Planetary intelligences tend to frustrate and cause pain. This is teaching also, but it is hard. When a person seeks to summon a kindly spirit or state of consciousness and instead receives pain and unhappiness, that person has failed to properly open himself to the influence of the beneficial Spirit. When the administrations of kindly spirits are sought but not accepted, the painful counterparts of the same spirits manifest. If one invokes an Archangel and instead receives the attentions of an Archdevil, the demon is the same; but the person invoking has refused the kindly help. These spirits are all states of the human consciousness in so far as they affect people from within. When events occur in the outside world in accordance with the nature of these spirits, that is as much a state of the human mind. There is no absolute separation between man and nature, between inside and outside. There is often a seeming of separation. Climbing the Tree of Life can cure that.

The Intelligence of the Planet Venus is partly productive or pleasure and partly of pain. Pleasure predominates, but only slightly. This is the name of that Intelligence:
"Hagiel" which means "The Cutting of God."
The order (Heh) is concealed (Gimel) in the working of creation (Yod). Existence (Aleph) is Harmonized (Lamed).
Heh -------- The order of things.
Gimel ------ That which is not visible, that which is concealed.
Yod -------- The force of creation taking place.
Aleph ------ Pure being.
Lamed ------ Harmony.
Hagiel is the invisible plan of the creator guiding the process of creation. This is a clear path through the seeming complexities of the Universe, but it is a path that is not understood in detail by the created. The creator acts in ways that are quick and sure like the slash of a blade, but those ways are not always clear to men. Hagiel tells us that there is a hidden purpose behind all appearances. An alternate translation of this name gives "The Valley of God", the place of the careful work of creation. There is a Hagiel in the world and a Hagiel in the mind.

And now, into the dark ...

The "Spirits" of the Planets are the counterparts of the Intelligences. Whereas in the Intelligences good or pleasure slightly predominates; in the "Spirits" evil or pain slightly predominates. Both have a direct effect on matter.
The "Spirit" of the Planet Venus is:
"Kedemel" meaning "Early god".
Integrate (Qof) images (Dalet) in substance (Mem). Existence (Aleph) is harmonized (Lamed).
Qof ---------- That which elaborates and establishes.
Dalet -------- Many forms or images.
Mem ---------- The universal substance.
Aleph -------- Absolute Being.
Lamed -------- Harmony.
Kedemel develops and evolves the many details that are found in creation. The multiplicity of forms and functions produced through Kedemel can confuse and bewilder, but it can also provide all needed tools and supplies. Kedemel is an example of the old "nature" gods which were believed to animate trees and animals.

The Intelligences and "Spirits" of the planets are listed in Brahe's Calendarium Naturali Magicum...

When an invocation of the Angelic Orders fails and harm results, the "Demonic" Orders are responsible. The Angelic Orders are a holy and a lofty conception. Their force and power is great. When that force is summoned and no fit receptacle is ready, their dark counterparts are given the task of breaking obstacles. The "Demonic" Order of Netzach is:
"Harab Serapel", or "The Ravens of Death". They are mentioned in the later appendices of the Zohar according to A.E.Waite in his Holy Kabbalah, page 256. The Hebrew that I have given below is a reconstruction based upon the Anglicised "Harab Serapel" and Wait's translation of this name. The actual spelling should be found in the Tequni Zohar, a postscript several centuries later than the Zohar itself, which departs in the matter of the Qlipot and some other matters from the older traditions.
LamedAlephPehReshShin BetReshAyinHay
Heh-Ayin-Resh-Bet Shin-Resh-Peh-Aleph-Lamed.
Order (Heh) perceives (Ayin) mind (Resh) in a fashion (Bet). The burning (Shin) mind (Resh) cries out (Peh) and existence (Aleph) is harmonized (Lamed).
Heh ---------- Order and organization.
Ayin --------- Consciousness of existence and limitation.
Resh --------- Mental structure.
Bet ---------- The directing power of the mind.
Shin --------- The burning spirit of God (Ruach Elohim).
Resh --------- The mental structure that holds the burning spirit.
Peh ---------- Explosion and speech.
Aleph -------- Unlimited Existence.
Lamed -------- That which equilibrates.
The Harab Serapel represent the mind crying out that it may escape from its limitations. These limitations are created by the mind itself and may be set aside when they are known. The intense desire for an understanding of all things is Shin. Shin is the fire that burns away all that is mortal in man. This fire may burn out the life of a man who is not ready to experience it. That life is restored by Aleph-Lamed.
These "Demons" and the "Angels" are both holy and, in a way beyond the physical, "good". God is worshiped not less by burning with the Harab Serapel than by creating with the Elohim and Tharshisim. For those who know that these two are one, there is no "evil". Soar aloft on the wings of the Ravens of Death as well as sail in the Ships of Tarshish. Rise in fire or in water. It is all the same. The passage is difficult only to those who fear fire and cannot pass flowing water. Such have trouble entering Netzach. Such an one was I. No longer!

These names of the "Demonic Orders" sometimes do duty as opposite or mirror names for the Sephiroth. In such application, there are additional names for the Demonic Orders. For Netzach, this alternate Demonic Order name is:
"Theumiel", or "The Fouled Substance of God."
The forces of nature (Tet) are locked (Vau) in unending change (Nun). Existence (Aleph) is harmonized (Lamed).
Tet -------- The powers and forces in the created.
Vau -------- That which joins, secures, makes one and
Nun -------- Transforming change.
Aleph ------ Pure existence.
Lamed ------ That which brings balance.
The Theumiel frustrate that which cries for freedom and simplicity. They make vivid the impermanence of forms. As soon as we come to depend on something or to believe a thing sacred, the Theumiel change it into a totally different thing. In this sense they are polluters. They teach freedom from dependance on forms of the moment.

The counterparts of the Archangels are the Archdevils. Both are equal before God. Archangel is the merciful hand of god. Archdevil is the hardened hand of God. Both are holy and to be reckoned above the changes of matter.
The Archdevil associated with Netzach is:
"Baal", in English, "Lord".
There are several ways to spell this name in Hebrew. The one I have given here is one of those used in the Old Testament.
A way (Bet) or seeing (Ayin) harmony (Lamed).
Bet--------- A way or method. A container of the unformed which
directs it into action.
Ayin ------- To see and to experience, but not necessarily to
Lamed ------ The balance implicit in all things that exist.
Baal exposes the nature of things. For those who are free enough from preconceptions this is a good thing. Others see too much. They refuse to accept what they see and are destroyed.
Invocation of an Archangel is almost the same as an invocation of the corresponding Archdevil. Few indeed are they who can keep mind so pure as to rejoice in all that their Angel tells them. At the first determined opposition, the Angel smiles forth the fangs of the Devil. This is no more than the discord of the person invoking being reflected back from a place it cannot touch. Laugh and the fangs become kindly glints from the Angel's eyes. It is sometimes hard to laugh. Yet it is never impossible unless there is need to burn away some unwholesome part of the self. Once the correction is made, Baal becomes Haniel and a light not of the mortal world shines within the soul.

Another name is sometimes given as the Archdevil of Netzach. This is:
"Tubal Cain", "The mark of the Lord in Sharp Weapons". This name is given in Genesis as the name of a descendant of Cain. The attribution of this name to the place of Devils comes from an old legend. According to this legend, Cain could find no one to mate with after he had killed Abel. No daughter of Eve would tolerate his advances. Only the female devils would receive him. By this legend all the Biblical descendants of Cain are reckoned Devils and Half- Devils. Another legend credits Tubal Cain as being the first blacksmith. Nun-finalYodQof LamedBetVauTaw
Taw-Vau-Bet-Lamed Qof-Yod-Nunfinal
The world (Taw) is attached (Vau) to the path (Bet) of harmony (Lamed). Natural order (Qof) is invigorated (Yod) through mental acts (Nunfinal).
Taw -------- The whole of the created universe.
Vau -------- That which joins.
Bet -------- A means of action for Aleph.
Lamed ------ Harmonizing guidance.
Qof -------- Order as it appears in nature.
Yod -------- The Power of Aleph in action in the world.
Nun final -- Mental processes.
Tubal Cain is a hard teacher. Those who will not think about the nature of things will receive death if they will not learn from lesser experiences. For a mild example of such a problem, consider the myth of the beginning of mankind. If Cain killed Abel, and Cain mated with demons only, who are we? Either there are some other sons of Adam not mentioned, or we are all half demon! If you answer that demons are not your cousins, the myth clearly insures that every descendent in the third generation is a product of incest!

In this manner may all things be investigated, if they can be written in Hebrew. Other methods exist for other languages. More methods than this may be applied to Hebrew. It is a property of the Qabalah that nothing in words or numbers is silent. From a name or a passage in Scripture great mysteries may be discovered.

Soon after preparing and testing this Letter-code, I meditated on the gate PehSamekh and received my name for Netzach.


10/24/72 e.v.

Wonder upon wonders! Yet another name to add to the growing list. A time shall soon come when you shall bear it fully. Until then consider and record it.
Many tests have been administered. You have survived them; no matter how, you have survived. That is enough for now. Soon there shall come an end to some of these, but never to all. No, never shall all tests end. Never shall anything depart for an end of time.

At this time I met Christiana, whose coming was foretold. This lady was full of fiery energy and beauty. Through her lips my Angel sometimes spoke. Through her eyes my Angel often smiled. Through her actions and thought I was slowly driven nuts. She was intense! I grew with her.

This is my name in the Sephira of Netzach, and my 4 = 7 motto;
"Wonder upon Wonders"
Mem-finalYodAlephLamedPehBet AlephLamedPeh
whose number is 264 (834 with final Mem)
264 = 2 + 6 + 4 = 12, the number of the path of Bet on the Tree 12 = 1 + 2 = 3, Binah, the place of understanding.

264 = 23 x 3 x 11 = 8 x 33, the fountain of desire.
264 = 132 x 2, the wisdom of Q.B.L.
264 = ReshDaletSamekh = arrangement, order, row; passover eve service (Sader)
264 = KafReshDaletMem = footstep, treading.
264 = ReshYodDaletNun = rare, infrequent, scarce.
264 = MemYodBetYodBetResh = descent of showers.
264 = ReshKaf - MemDalet = Blood of the Lamb (name of a place in Arabia visited by Brother C.R.)
264 = NunVauReshChet = anger, brier.
264 = ReshNunYodDalet = coin.
264 = MemYodQofVauQofChet = Emanatia.
264 = MemYodTetHayResh = channels, pipes (another reference to Bet and to the paths of the Tree in general)
834 = 2 x 3 x 139.
834 = TawYodPehVauChetLamedShin = womb.
834 = delta-omega-delta-epsilon-kappa-alpha = twelve (another reference to the path of Bet).

Again I must express my thanks to Frater Fons Numeris for the use of his extensive number dictionaries. Without them such gematria is hard to get.

I continued to meditate, but nearly all of the second- type meditations on the gates of Peh had been done.
In another burst of sexual need, I sent out four demons to seek me a woman. One of these was Bartzabel; another combined influences of the Sun and Mars. The remaining two were of the Sun and of Venus. I was not yet open enough to receive a woman's love in accordance with the Will of my Angel. Accordingly I failed to obtain more than a sizable amount of entertainment. This was done on November third. I kept the demons in reserve, but they were inadequate as aids to surpass the magical circle of my physical virginity. Time will tell. I decided to use the demons for other things and wait for a Magical Lady to be my willing tutor. I did not dispatch the demons against anyone in particular, but as a sort of general procuration. this was too vague. I scruple to direct them more personally.
The failure of the demons resulted in a backwash of energy that rear-ended my car again. No serious problems. Christiana was at the wheel.

During this time (under the influence of the Gate ReshPeh on the thirteenth of November) I went to a job interview. This was a sign of the eventual approach to Tipheret. It is one of the marks of the sixth Sephira that those who enter there have at least a part of their material and mental life in order. I had been running low on money for some time. This interview led to a part-time position in computer programming at the University of California in Berkeley. The job added enough money to my inherited income to provide sustenance and to maintain my work. It also provided a needed shot of humility.

Another gift of these gates was a lesson in the practice of Magick, specializing in precautions. I give this from my Diary:

11/26/72 e.v. Christiana called and we went off to Zebedee for dinner. Later went to the Sleeping Lady for coffee and chess. I detest the game. Played her once and lost. She then began a series of three games with another fellow. Someone noted that the time was 9:30 PM. My boredom at a peak, I decided to evoke fire at Christiana to cause her to be impatient at the game. I repeated this later. Much odd power-flow consciousness. After a time the third game ended and Christiana took me home, with thanks. She returned to the Sleeping Lady. When I entered the house, I noted a strong odor of smoke, windows open. I went toward L's room. There had been an electrical fire in L's room, a lamp and cloth that Christiana had admired earlier in the day. The fire had burned out the clock at 9:45 precisely, connection obvious.
I resolved in the future to first project a circle in such cases to contain the force. Christiana had too much fire energy anyway. The extra bled back through a common point between her and myself.

The same diary entry goes on:
I have entered Netzach to the point of belonging. I will not truly have mastered Netzach until I have attained Tipheret. Much growth in Netzach is before me. Tipheret will be attained when I have a grip on my trip in mind, emotion and solvency, independence. This is not so simple, yet not so hard. Time will grant the patent. The gates march to the wind what molds the worlds.
I have received a measure of power to work the miracles of Hod. As my emotional force advances in depth and order, Netzach will be gained more fully and Hod will be truly ruled.

My new job started in December. Through it I gained stack access to the library of the University of California. This greatly helped my research, and I acquired photocopies of several important books. At the same time, I began a collection of microfilms of rare and unusual works. This job took much time that would otherwise have been spent in more spiritual endeavors, but it granted me a needed balance of mind and the money that I needed to pursue my works in this world. I am thankful for this.
I began a new volume of my Diary with this writing:
"Suffer no hindrance to bar thee from knowledge." This is my oath and no will of mine may alter it. The will of beginning is established.
A new age is upon the Earth. No longer shall strength abide in secretiveness. To those who trod the Path, the four injunctions hold, yet not by act or inaction of the wayfarer. These injunctions are a reading of the nature of things, and nothing of mortal will can alter them. The injunction to silence is in the nature of things; it is not a charge to deceive or to withhold that which cries out to be told. What is set down here is for the good of many. What is told is told indeed!
Void are all prohibitions of speech! Void are all future swearings to a killing dumbness!

I began the gates of Tzaddi on the 28th of December, 1972 e.v. These gates will see great wonders in the world. For that reason the time between some of them will be long, longer than for Peh. These gates are greater, for they are gates of love.

The next meditation confirmed initiation into Netzach and gave the name to be used in Tipheret. About this time possibilities of teaching another class began to manifest. Joseph, the proprietor of an occult book shop called the Magus, suggested first to F.N. and then to me that we might teach classes in Tarot and Qabalah through his shop. More about this in a few pages. For now, here is the meditation.


1/14/73 e.v.

Light of Heaven in a Lamp of Earth! This, in Hebrew, shall be the new name. It is a name of Tipheret. The ways have been trodden in silence. Now shall the ways become strong. Now shall the ways become visible.
Welcome to the city of the children grown to the point of human reception. The gates of the place of the elect are open. The King sits upon his throne among the Kings who fall not. These are the Kings who are crowned in Heaven and who stand upon and within the Earth. There is no one to say them nay. There is no one to divide them. All passages open to the bidding of the Kings of the Palace of Schemesh.


At the end of the third week in January, our family grew temporarily larger by the addition of J. and C. These mutual friends of F.N. and myself had been living in a house boat near Sausalito. When the winter storms reached their height, tragedy struck, and their home sank in the polluted waters of the Bay. C. was seven months pregnant at the time. We welcomed our stranded friends and gave them shelter. This simple kindness has been rewarded a thousand fold by what followed.
The influence of these two gentle people brought us all together and helped to close the rifts that had formed between L., F.N. and myself at various times. They also brought a great blessing on the house and rendered the room of Yesod and the Moon truly sacred. This blessing and this consecration was the eventual arrival of C's tiny baby, Amala.

The classes that Fons Numeris and I were hoping to teach at the Magus more-or-less fell through. We obtained tutoring work, but the classes had not enough applicants to warrant being given. We would try again later and under different circumstances.
In my own case, on the night the class was to begin, I went to the Magus and waited. Grace, an astrologer friend from Berkeley and points East, was a very welcome sight. Amusement was offered by four Jesus Freaks who tried to convert me from my personal contact with God to their follow-the-leader blindness. I talked about half the time and helped them with their Biblical quotations, but after an hour or so dismissed them. They helped me to get over my disappointment at not having the class. I don't know where their souls dwell. Their words were filled with ignorance and hatred, but no one should judge the progress of a soul by its manifestations in the body. I blessed them again in the intensive part of my next meditation. I hope one day that they will be able to listen to such words as I have heard.


1/28/73 e.v.

A great light burns brightly in a lamp of earth. This is the present state of things. This is the present state of the task. Have all faith in the going forth in light. There shall be no lack of what is needful. There shall be no failure. Yet there shall be unexpected lessons. Accept the truth in all things. Even when that which is so carefully planned runs contrary to plan, deny nothing. There is no fault or punishment. There is no defect. All is as it should be. All proceeds well. The lesson comes to thee as new knowledge, not as dull exercise. Many tasks, once readied, give way for greater. If the older is to be done, it will be done. Relish surprise. Much is in store.
Receive then the blessing of the Dominus Liminis. Words matter little. You pass now through Paroket and upward to TawReshAlephPehTaw. Come dreaming child, a place awaits thee in the Sun! The day star shines to illuminate the world for thee! See by its light and know the lost knowledge that all know behind all seemings.
The silent lady smiles upon thee. Accept her good graces and smile in return.
Already the mighty one bends low to shelter you from harm and miscarriage. Adore the high and embrace also the low.
Other grades await.
Other initiations are before thee.
The names for Geburah and Chesed are hovering about you.
The names for the unnameable shall flit through brief existence.
"Holy art Thou, Lord of the Universe. Holy art Thou Whom Nature has not formed."

The class at the Magus was a failure, but a better came of it. Grace, who was my friend in the affair with the Jesus Freaks and in many other things, proposed that we tutor each other. She would teach me Astrology, and I would teach her Qabalah. This arrangement was both pleasing and acceptable to me. We met every week or so for a time and shared our knowledge. It was at one of these meetings that Joseph, the proprietor of the Magus, dropped in and suggested this very writing. At his instigation I began it. By the Will of my Angel I am finishing it.
Grace introduced me to many interesting people.

In February, I received a last communication from AMORC, the San Jose based group of pseudo-Rosicrucians. These good people and I had a falling out over an oath of secrecy. I contended that the oath in question was too narrowly defined and that the AMORC material in question (through the eighth degree) contained nothing of a secret nature. AMORC replied that the oath was not subject to review and that only by signing it could I remain a member. I made a personal phone call to pursue the matter, but was indifferently handled.
Because of the wide influence of this order and because of the nature of this narrative, I feel it would be best to give my final communication to AMORC in some detail. This will establish more clearly my relationship to such popular groups and will bring light to bear on the relationship that earlier existed between AMORC and myself. I quote from my letter:
"I have decided, on close perusal of the 'Plea for Admission to the Ninth Degree' that the text of that plea is in contradiction of my understood obligations to the Order. This contradiction lies chiefly in two points:
1: the absolute prohibition on showing the monographs to others.
2: the overly generalized prohibition on discussion of the Order.
"In earlier oaths to AMORC, various promises and dedications were made to the effect that I, a member, must do my utmost to propagate the Order in the directions naturally open to it. This I have done. This I fully intend to continue to do, regardless of my being an active member or not. The prohibition on discussion is too restrictive to permit verbal propagation of the Order among those most in need of its teachings. The prohibition on displaying the monographs places a member in an inferior position to that occupied by nonmembers. The monographs are not 'secret' in any sense but the formal one used by the Order. They contain no information not already available to the public through the Library of Congress...
"Since I have acted in a manner to make the noted provisions of the Plea untrue with respect to myself, and since to sign that Plea as written would be to utter an untruth, I have decided that I may not sign the Plea in good faith. In an earlier letter I submitted an alternate Plea, drafted after the example of earlier, member composed oaths. This has been refused. Accordingly, I see no alternative before me other than to tender this, my formal resignation from active participation in the Order AMORC.
"Although I will not be able to continue in the work of AMORC in a direct fashion in the future, until such time as the present restriction may be lifted or I undergo a change of understanding which may permit my signing the Plea as written, I shall continue to consider myself a Rosicrucian in the full sense of the title.
"I am grieved that it will no longer be possible to continue my studies of AMORC, especially in the question of 'the only true and original Rosicrucian Order.' This has never been demonstrated to my satisfaction, and I have hoped to be shown evidence of AMORC's past, beyond the vague hints appearing in several published works. It has seemed on the one hand that AMORC is an outgrowth of the Grand Orient Lodge of French Masons in union with a branch of the SRIA; on the other hand, AMORC seems to borrow much of its material from the writings of H.P.Blavatsky and A.Crowley. The influence of Crowley is especially prominent in AMORC's little booklet 777, having the same title as Crowley's 777 and displaying on its cover the official seal of Crowley's O.T.O. Such matters as this are a passion with me. Crowley has been a high person in my life for some time. Although to copy him is folly, much of his work and his life is noble in the extreme. I had hoped that AMORC would be another avenue of approach to this great man's works. The question of AMORC's being the 'True and Original Rosicrucian Order' is, of course, moot, that Order being invisible from its inception on the Cosmic. Nevertheless, I had hoped that AMORC would prove to be an accessible channel to membership in that Higher Order (called the Great White Brotherhood by some). Other channels have subsequently opened to me, and I am in daily communication with my Higher Self. Thus I am not dependent on AMORC for anything beyond the sense of fraternity that I have come to so deeply cherish. I grieve the loss of AMORC from my path to the upper light. To paraphrase the late President, John Fitzgerald Kennedy; It's not what AMORC could have done for me, it's what I could have done for AMORC --- had I been truly cherished in its ranks ... To abandon the Ego and to abandon Egotism are not the same. Had Fr. H.S.Lewis truly abandoned his Ego, AMORC would never have come into existence. The artificial repression of the Ego below a certain level leaves nothing but an automaton, a being capable of nothing more than a rubber-stamp-like existence. Such people have no measure of the love and patience possessed by a truly egoless person, a person at one with all things including personal identity. Fr. Lewis did not abandon his Ego, he outgrew it.

Paul Foster Case once referred certain groups as "Grammar Schools of Occultism." The need for such is very great in this time of religious crisis.

Some time later I discovered that my theories about the origin of AMORC may have hit close to the mark. Francis King, in his Sexuality, Magic and Perversion, pages 143-144, gives details about the origin of AMORC as a sort of splinter group of O.T.O. According to this account, Lewis obtained a charter from Theodor Reuss for the establishment of a branch of O.T.O. Lewis had done some organizing before this time, and had a small group ready. Later, when Crowley replaced Reuss as Head of O.T.O., several branches of this organization were unable to accept the new leadership and rebelled from the parent Order. AMORC seems to have been one of these. King goes to quote Crowley in a passage directly refuting many of AMORC's claims.
I still contend that AMORC has its uses. There are many people who don't need much more than a consoling hand and a simple faith in human superiors. To such, AMORC is a very good thing. As a source of Higher Knowledge, AMORC is not what it seems to say it is.

I remained for several more years a member in good standing in BOTA (Builders of the Auditum). This organization was founded at the direction of Dr. Paul Foster Case, and has its main offices in Los Angeles. BOTA is an outgrowth of the American branch of the Order of the Golden Dawn, according to its literature. In my experience to the end of my active affiliation, all of its pledges and swearings include a clause or provision that makes the whole thing subject to the Higher Self. I find nothing wrong with this. Its teachings are drawn from the work of Dr. Case and are strong in the areas of Tarot and Qabalah. I have found no trace of the preposterous claims that many other similar organizations have made. I do find that BOTA is far less practiced in its own teachings than I would wish. There is a genuine spirit of love and sanctity about this Order, but not enough attention to scholastic study of its teachings among the members to suit me. I am perhaps a bit overbalanced on the side of the pillar of severity of the Tree of Life. For that reason, my comments concerning both BOTA and AMORC should be taken with a grain of salt regarding overall judgments of their weaknesses. For those who have read consistently and understood some of this narrative, I would recommend membership in BOTA but not AMORC. For those who were unable to understand or read most of what I have written in these pages, I recommend membership in AMORC. Mine is a path involving a fair amount of work and intellectation. For those who can and will labor and study without dependence on peer parity, BOTA is a source of much that is useful and desirable in these matters. Neither group is particularly tolerant of other groups or of unorthodox social and sexual orientation.
Whether a person joins such a group or not, the path is essentially a private one in its higher reaches. Such groups provide companionship and some knowledge along with a little direction. No group or Order exists in the physical world that can bestow the heights of spiritual growth or rightly dictate its limits. That is a work that can only be accomplished by the efforts of the individual and God. At most, such groups can make easier the way. When such groups seek to dominate the unwilling or to damage those who will not or cannot profit by their methods, they are indulging in a simple power play; and their members should withdraw. If such a group would try to extend their control past the point of harm, the provision of Crowley's Liber OZ, a sort of declaration of independence, come into proportionate force. AMORC and BOTA are not likely to abuse their roles to a very extreme extent, but there are a few groups calling themselves O.T.O. (without any right to do so) which have been known to exceed the bounds of their rightful authority. Some of these have been destroyed through the direct action of the Law of the Land, and others remain in existence. There are lodges of O.T.O. which are both duly constituted and rightly acting. These are in the line of Hymenaeus Alpha, continued under his successor, Hymenaeus Beta, under charter by Crowley and determination of identity by the US Federal Court to be authentic. They are accessible to the public. Many other groups and orders exist. Join them at peril and in hope, if you will. Many of them are excellent. A few of them are rotten. Most of them are harmless.

There is a greater Order than these, called A A. Crowley established it to lead people through and beyond the petty restrictions of other orders. It nearly failed in his lifetime, but it presently continues in direct link to this day. That is a matter not proper for me to discuss here.

We are nearing the end of this narrative. That which it describes goes on, but this writing has set limits. A few more things will be taken up, and some appendices will be added to aid the seeker.

To return:

A bout of hay fever in March led me to speculate about reincarnation and introduced another communication from my Angel.

3/15/73 e.v.

At some time in the distant past I was a nature priest. In that role I grew to prominence, made dedications and became bound by strong oaths. In time, however, I learned of another sort of magic, a magic of logic and number. This I embraced. I never joined the worship of nature to the magic of order. This new magic held the physical world to be evil, or at least inferior. I abandoned my previous oaths and sought the celestial and higher worlds. I rose to and beyond the Abyss. Yet I fell, by my own need and will. I had attained to a place which was one of two places. I came from one place and, abandoning the first, went to another. I changed one state of another ... I ended up the same in a different world. My fall from beyond the Abyss was voluntary --- as all such falls are. This fall constituted reincarnation. It is my destiny to reincarnate and to strive until there are no more two worlds, but only one. Then I will reincarnate until two and one vanish into none. Then I will reincarnate until all, one, two and none are and are not. At the end of time I will be free not to exist. Only when my feet cry and my head laughs will I be as I am destined to be. In those days the worlds will float like soap bubbles about me, and I will pleasure myself at my pretty toys. All parts of me are now in existence. This matter of time is a jest I have invented to amuse myself with limitation. The lesser parts of me shall cleave to the greater and draw strength through Divine madness.

On the 17th of March, C. had her baby. The room of the Moon was sanctified with the advent of a magical childe.

On the 20th of March, I made the following self- analysis:

Diagnostic speculations on progress. Comprehension of Sephiroth and Paths. (A such exercises are recommended to students on mastering the general human correlations to the Tree of Life.)


Tipheret --- hard to hold to. Currently tend to move toward Geburah and instead fall from Tipheret.
Netzach ---- mostly held, but deficiencies in detail. Needs more work via path 24. Paths 28 and 29 are fully functional but tend to be overridden by recurrent 24-25; 6-5-8 problem.
Hod -------- fully functional but not fully controlled or guided. Failure of reach to Geburah causes fall to Hod and recurrence of old problem. Attempts to do Geburah work with Hod tools are engendering Qlipothic activity in Malkut and undermining Yesod --- results in a fall to Qlipothic Tree.
Qlipothic experience: This is not an "inverted Tree" in the sense that it must be climbed up to the regular Tree of Life. This is a "turned inside out" version of the regular Tree of Life. Qlipoth result from improper use of the regular Tree. This is nothing more than break down through improper activity. The cause is an attempt to work problems on higher levels than those actually attained or appropriate to the nature of the problems. The results which should be immediate are instead totally frustrated. The evils attendant on such frustration all stem from descent of the Tree under the illusion that the Tree is being ascended. The instant that the actual status of descent to a lower level is recognized and accepted, the Qlipothic Tree vanishes and the Tree of Life is reinstated. Climb to the point just before the failure is almost automatic.

Description of Subjective Experience.

Tipheret --- Sense of harmony and good order. No problems. All is mellow. All work proceeds smoothly. Alcohol doesn't produce much hangover. All experiences are beneficial.
Attempt Geburah -- Greater powers of action (Magical and otherwise) of Tipheret consciousness tempt toward control. Vision of Tipheret is not clear enough. It must grow. Tried Geburatic controls of house. Some success. Geburah activity of minor key partly successful along path 22, but path 23 not functional enough. ... Results in downward drift. Geburatic tasks attempted from Hod level produce anger. This is a poison to the whole Tree. This anger is not Geburah anger (angry God) but Hod anger (angry servant). Geburah anger is merely hot compulsion on externals. Hod anger can work that way only on Yesod and Malkut. On Netzach, Hod anger is catastrophic and produces path 27 problems. This produces more trouble until corrected. Paranoia results. Hatred enters. This is Qliphothic.
Recovery --------- many banishments instill good attitude and reduce hate and paranoia. Centering actions set circumspection in action. This proceeds through analysis and theory of the Hod nature. Desire to correct the problem of hatred-paranoia draws up to Netzach. Tipheret emerges with an overview (this analysis). Consolidation of the whole of progress to date results from this overview.

Progress to date and overview:

Malkut ------- functional.
Yesod -------- functional.
Hod ---------- functional.
Netzach ------ functional but requires occasional watching.
Tipheret ----- beginning functional.
Geburah ------ slightly functional.
Chesed ------- functional but not always connected to lower Sephiroth. This results in high purpose, but actions toward attaining that purpose lack coordination.
Da'at -------- Tipheret-Yesod-Malkut not yet ready to link to this state. Da'at full functional between Chesed and Binah-Ain, but not able to be active below Chesed.
Binah -------- full functional but no links below Chesed.
Chokmah ------ same as Binah.
Keter -------- same as Binah.
Ain ---------.
Ain Soph ----: always functional. Provides only link to all
Ain Soph Aur . other levels.
32 through 28 ----- functional.
27 ---- functional but gives occasional trouble.
26 ---- functional but can be overloaded through negative emotion.
25 ---- functional during balanced emotional states and during introspection.
24 ---- developing, partly functional. Able to bear almost full normal load. Not able to bear overload unless greatly supported by lower paths.
23 ---- functional only partly; and, even then, outside help from chemistry generally necessary.
22 ---- occasional snap functioning. Normally closed.
21 ---- usually closed, occasional leaks.
20 ---- as 21.
19 ---- some opening.
18 through 11 ----- some opening and some fully functioning, not usually open from lower levels. Communication from lower levels is fully functional only through Ain (Mezla) ... Much downward communication. These and all other paths work well from top to bottom; but ascent is not yet possible, except by chance, to the higher levels. Occasional, partial, chance ascent happens.

Lightning bolt overview --- after this corrective study.

Malkut ruled by Yesod --- mind over matter --- works always.
Yesod ruled by Hod --- magical control --- works usually.
Hod ruled by Netzach --- motivational guidance and selection of magical activities --- works often.
Netzach ruled by Tipheret --- current purpose in this life --- works partly.
Tipheret ruled by Geburah --- direction of life purpose and development --- works unconsciously except for rare conscious working.
Geburah ruled by Chesed --- administration of higher purpose --- unconscious. All higher are unconscious.

Function proper to Sephiroth:

Malkut --- physical existence.
Yesod --- lower activities coordinated.
Hod --- lower activities planned.
Netzach --- lower activities motivated.
Tipheret --- life activities coordinated.
Geburah --- life activities planned.
Chesed --- life activities motivated.
Da'at --- link to total consciousness. (vanishes when middle pillar rises).
Binah through Keter --- separate higher self --- communicates via Da'at and guides Chesed. Functions change when Da'at is replaced by Tipheret --- constitutes total victory over the Abyss and marks attainment of godhood.

Late in March, the major rifts in our family closed. Some time after that we went our separate ways in peace to live in other places. The love that resides does not depart. We will remain brothers and sisters in quiet ways all the time to come, under our own True Will as it manifests in our individual wills. As Crowley wrote: "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law." "Love is the law, love under will."


On the third of April, 1973 e.v., I received the name of my holy Guardian Angel. This name is not alone the name of the Highest. This name is that by which I may ritually invoke the Angel and seek the Presence. Another bore it long ago when Troy stood against the Mycenaeans and Odysseus was less than he later seemed. From this indwelling spirit comes trust to the planet of Thoth.

The name: Pi-alpha-lambda-alpha-mu-eta-delta-eta-nu
Palameden --- "from Palemedes"

With thanks to Apollonius of Tyana for services piously rendered.

The number of the Angel is 222.

"Ever the Beginning" --- the motto of Da'at.


On September 29th, 1973 e.v., Sun in Libra and Moon in Libra, under the gate TzaddiZain, Trisha and I ......but that's another story ....




To touch Tipheret is to reach the center of the Tree of Life. The Tree then assumes new functions. Climbing above is possible; so is descending below. Tipheret is not only the center of the Tree, it is the heart, the one best part.
To limit one's self to the heights alone or to the depths alone is pointless. The center is the lawful place of man. The reaches above Tipheret are a vast and dimly perceived future. The passages below Tipheret are an equally vast and nearly equally dimly perceived past. Tipheret is a great lock upon a mighty river. The name of the lock is "Now". The river above the lock is called "Future", below "Past". Through Tipheret passes all consciousness. Tipheret regulates the flow of consciousness.
The space between the highest three Sephiroth of the Tree of Life and the lower seven is called the Great Abyss. The three Sephiroth above this gap represent very abstract and spiritual states of mind that are hard to "bring down to Earth," to link to the seven Sephiroth below. When one has come near to some consciousness of Tipheret, this Great Abyss remains. Its character changes after Tipheret is reached. Before, the Abyss represents a division between the immortal Mind of God and the created levels of mortal consciousness. At Tipheret, the mind of God looms closer. Voices are heard and visions experienced (Yesod function attendant on Tipheret). These communicate imperfectly between the mind at Tipheret and the first three Sephiroth. There is a vagueness, increasing rather than decreasing as attainment proceeds. The mind at Tipheret seeks understanding through reason and in time rises to Geburah. The supercelestial messages are still not fully understood. Purpose is clearer at Geburah and actions in the lower worlds are easily directed. Yet there is a haunting dimness, as of a figure half hidden by the glare of the Sun through morning mist. The mind of the one below the Abyss hungers for the parting of the mists and the clearing of the glare. This hunger builds as a yearning for union with God; and Chesed, the Sephira of the higher emotions is reached. At Chesed desire grows until the mind leaps across the gap of worlds, the Great Abyss, and enters direct consciousness of the highest Sephiroth. In the abandoning of the lower seven Sephiroth, consciousness in them is diminished and partly lost. The body and the lower mental functions continue in a semblance of independence while the higher functions watch without comprehension of the lower. There is a failure in this, a failure that can be remedied by multiple reincarnation into one body or into successive bodies. This process constitutes spiritual death and rebirth. There is yet another way to repair this failure, this loss of connection between the lower and higher minds. I refer the reader to 32 Emanations, the Path of Initiation, herein, in the matter of path 27. The problem is basically the same. When the lower seven are perfectly developed by great care and long effort, the Abyss ceases to exist and the passage to the Highest is easy. The Tree of Life than changes its form. More about this later in this Appendix.

We shall now investigate the shadows of the Tree. The Tree is one thing, its shadows are others. The Tree of life is a map of creation and of consciousness. It shows states of mind, and it leads cognition from one state to another. When the Tree is seen from one of its own Sephiroth, and understood by the consciousness that attends that Sephira, it is perceived partially. Each Sephira includes within itself all Sephiroth lower on the Tree than itself, and each projects itself into the higher Sephiroth. Each Sephira provides a distinct perception of the Tree of Life as a whole. Each Sephira colors, as it were, the whole Tree with a distinctive mental tint. The ten views of the Tree of Life that are natural to the ten Sephiroth are "shadows: of the Tree. In Malkut, the tenth Sephira, the Tree is the physical world. All its attributes and all its symbolism relate directly to the physical World and the senses. Books have been written which expound this view. They insist that all criteria surrounding the Tree of Life be based on physical measurements, astronomical phenomena and the like. Such books often greatly alter the form of the Tree of Life Diagram to make it fit particular physical data. In Yesod, myths and stories define the Tree. In Hod, rational philosophy develops the Tree. In Netzach, love of beauty and pattern overreach the strictly rational, and the Tree is portrayed through artistry and poetic imagery. In Tipheret, no less than a harmonious life can express understanding of the Tree of Life. Geburah views the Tree through teaching and aiding all life. Chesed depicts the Tree as salvation.
No matter what the Sephirotic view of the Tree, all the Sephiroth participate. There are no absolutely pure conceptions of the Tree. All understandings are "shadows." The depth of the understanding is revealed in the intensity and characteristics of the "shadow." Consider this book. It has physical existence and refers to physical events. These events are described in order that some understanding of the Tree of Life may be conveyed. This much is Malkut. There are several dreams and a considerable number of dreamlike meditations and stories included here. These also relate to the Tree and, by their nature, are a part of the "shadow" of Yesod. Hod's "shadow" is seen in the philosophical and analytical portions. Netzach is found in those parts which strive with emotional response and describe physical drives. Tipheret is embodied in the form of the work as autobiographical, in so far as the Author's life tends to harmony, and in accounts of social existence with others. Geburah is found in the intent of the work and in the mysterious power that produced the experiences described. Chesed is found in the aspiration of the Author.
Of all the "shadows" of the Sephiroth that touch this book, that of Tipheret is the strongest --- yet all are present. Even those shadows that are found in Binah, Chokmah and Keter are found in this work. All these things are found in all books and works of all Mankind in varying proportion.
But what of the shadow in Tipheret? This "shadow" in Tipheret is one's own conception of life and of purpose in life. This conception may take any form. It may be formalized into a pattern like the traditional diagram of the Tree of Life or like a manner of life outlined by church, society and state. It may be a hit or miss thing developed without plan and accepted when it settles down to consistency. This conception may be limited in aspiration or it may be without limit. Whatever else it may be, it is the Tipheret level understanding of existence --- to a student of the formal Tree of Life diagram, a Tipheret tinted shadow of the entire Tree. When this shadow brings joy and pleasure, it is projected downward into the Netzach shadow. When it is analyzed, it is projected into the Hod shadow. When it is dramatized and fantasized it is in the shadow of Yesod. When the Tipheret shadow that is the total conception of one's own life effects the physical world, the "shadow of Tipheret" penetrates and rules the shadow of Malkut. All these shadows dance and move within each other. They have no separate existence. Tipheret is meaningless without Malkut. Malkut is dead without Tipheret. Hod is sterile without Netzach. Netzach cannot be a vehicle for Beauty without Tipheret. All are in all. All depend on all. There is only one Tree; all seeming separate parts and views are shadows of that Tree. For the word "Tree", take any word that includes all things in one thing.
Projection upward is also possible. When the shadow of Tipheret is studied analytically and synthetically, projection into three other Sephirotic shadows occurs. The simple mechanical relationships of life are viewed in Hod. The underlying principles of the life experience are elaborated in Geburah after they are rationally isolated from Tipheret. Binah receives particular examples of the application of pure reason. In like manner, the reactions and developments of emotions project the shadow of Tipheret into three other Sephiroth. The life experience produces simple wonderment and isolated emotional display in Netzach. Chesed draws a unitary longing from these same experiences. Chokmah receives particular tongues of the Universal Flame of Passion that are proper to its own exalted place. projection of the Tipheret shadow of the Tree also occurs in a balanced fashion into three other Sephiroth. This projection is an elevation or degradation of the life experience accordingly as it ascends or descends on the Tree. No moral connotation is intended by the words "elevation" and "degradation", only elevation as approach to unity and degradation as multiplication of forms with concealment of unity. The experience that is the shadow of the Tree in Tipheret falls down into Yesod when it becomes puzzling, imperfectly visualized, or imperfectly accepted. The projection into Malkut is accomplished through Yesod. Yesod is the link between the perfected consciousness of living in Tipheret and the physical processes of life in Malkut. In Malkut the life experience becomes actualized in physical living. The weak link between the inward consciousness of Tipheret and the outward life of Malkut is Yesod. One conception of the Tree suggests a solution to this problem, at a price. The examples that conclude this Appendix will deal with this suggested solution. Projection of Tipheret upward into Keter is nothing more or less than a final perception of the life experience as an absolute unity. When this occurs perfectly, the Tree vanishes into the Absolute Oneness of Keter. Much the same sort of vanishing occurs when the Tree is perfectly projected into the Absolute Multiplication of Malkut. Merkabah Qabalah recognizes ephemeral and partial states of this kind in conjunction with crossing the Abyss, notably under the method called "50 Gates of Understanding" in which the top three Sephiroth become one and the last two are similarly subsumed in each other at the moment of opening of the 50th Gate. Those gates are not combinations of letters, by the way, but of the lower seven Sephiroth with each other.
There are many mental and physical activities that involve all the lower seven Sephiroth. Among these are speculations on the form and meaning of the Tree itself. No matter what the basic approach, whether from Malkut, Geburah or wherever, all the Sephirotic shadows take some part. The examples which follow are devoted to a study of alternate forms of the Tree of Life diagram. In the sense of their being studies of a system of salvation, they belong to Chesed. As constructions for guidance in life, they belong to Geburah. As efforts produced in life, they belong to Tipheret. Their emotional impact, the delight of understanding them, belongs to Netzach. The rational application of these examples and their more concrete explanation comes from Hod. The direct guidance they have over physical conduct pertains to Yesod. Their physical existence in this book and their actual effect in the physical world belongs to Malkut. Because they are abstract, rational structures in their most prominent details, Geburah is their chief place.
To understand that which follows, a bit of foreknowledge is necessary on the part of the reader. Some of this may be obtained by reading 32 Emanations, the Path of Initiation earlier in this book. The summaries toward the end of that selection are especially useful. Alternately, the reader may wish to refer to books by other authors on the subject of the Paths of the Tree of Life. The next few paragraphs introduce the Tree to those who may not have seen it before. Those who have considerable experience with these matters will find some of this a bit overly familiar, but it may help the neophyte.

The Tree of Life diagram is a development from a far more complex and ancient system of mysticism called the Qabalah (also spelled: Cabala, QBL(H), Kabbalah, Qabbalah and in various other ways. The word in Hebrew is HayLamedBetQof, and before 1,000 e.v. it was called: Chokmah Nestorah, Raz and Sod). The original use of the Tree of Life diagram appears to be for organization of methods of interpreting sacred literature. Our familiar Tree of Life diagram appears in 16th century illustrations with the assignment of letters to the paths used later by the Order of the Golden Dawn. The present form of this diagram is not absolutely known to be more than half a thousand years old. Whatever its age, it embodies a philosophy similar in many ways to Gnosticism and Neoplatonism. The diagram is a graphic depiction of the mental universe. In the form used here as "traditional," it is composed of thirty-two parts, with an additional part sometimes postulated. Ten (or eleven) of these parts are called Sephiroth, a Hebrew word meaning, among other things, "Numbers". These Sephiroth represent states of human consciousness ranging from unity with God (number 1, called Keter) to immersion in the physical world (number 10, called Malkut). The Sephiroth can also be viewed as stages in creation, as levels of interpretation ranging from the Abstract to the Concrete, and in other ways. Circles are commonly used to represent the Sephiroth on the diagram. Twenty-two lines or paths connect the circles. These paths are transitional mental states created by moving between the more firmly established Sephiroth. There are many details in the description of the Tree of Life diagram that will not be taken up here.

In all these examples, the following set of correspondences to the thirty-two parts of the Tree will be used. There are many other correspondences that provide insights. For more correspondences, see A. Crowley's Liber 777 and Appendix B of this book. The numbers used here on the diagrams and in the left-most column of the tables agree exactly with those used in the margins of Liber 777. To make this a bit simpler, only the common Hebrew names and planetary correspondences will be used for the ten (or eleven) Sephiroth. The twenty-two lesser paths out of Mezla will be linked to Hebrew letters, alchemical symbols, astrological symbols, and Tarot cards. Explanations given with the examples will frequently use Tarot correspondences so that the reader may relate each idea to a picture. All descriptions of such Tarot cards in this presentation refer to the BOTA or Case deck Its illustrations are simple and pleasing. The Author does not believe it possible for the average person to get much out of that follows without recourse to such a Tarot deck in the process of reading this material. The "Rider" or Waite deck will do nearly as well. Crowley's Thoth deck is too complex for this exercise on first reading.


Comprising the Ten (Eleven) Sephiroth and the Twenty-Two lesser Paths:

The Sephiroth:

Number on
OneKeterCrownThe beginning of whirlings.
TwoChokmahWisdomThe Zodiac
---Da'atKnowledgeAsteroids or Transuranics
SevenNetzachVictory by EnduranceVenus

The Paths:

Number on
Hebrew Letter:
Corresponding Tarot
Card title in BOTA Deck:
ElevenAleph, AlephAir (Uranus)The Fool.
TwelveBet, BetMercuryThe Magician.
ThirteenGimel, GimelMoonThe High Priestess.
FourteenDalet, DaletVenusThe Empress.
FifteenHeh, HayAriesThe Emperor.1
SixteenVau, VauTaurusThe Hierophant.
SeventeenZain, ZainGeminiThe Lovers.
EighteenChet, ChetCancerThe Chariot.
NinteenTet, TetLeoStrength.
TwentyYod, YodVirgoThe Hermit.
Twenty-OneKoph, KafJupiterThe Wheel of Fortune.
Twenty-TwoLamed, LamedLibraJustice.
Twenty-ThreeMem, MemWater (Neptune)The Hanged Man.
Twenty-FourNun, NunScorpioDeath.
Twenty-FiveSamekh, SamekhSagittariusTemperance.
Twenty-SixAyin, AyinCapricornThe Devil.
Twenty-SevenPeh, PehMarsThe Tower.
Twenty-EightTzaddi, TzaddiAquariusThe Star.2
Twenty-NineQof, QofPiscesThe Moon.
ThirtyResh, ReshSunThe Sun.
Thirty-OneShin, ShinFire (Pluto)Judgment.
Thirty-TwoTaw, TawSaturn (Earth)The World.
            1. Crowley sometimes used the Star in this place in the Thoth Deck
            2. Crowley sometimes used the Emperor in this place in the Thoth Deck

These correspondences are used by the Order of the Golden Dawn, BOTA and many other groups. Paul Foster Case and Aleister Crowley use this system, although Crowley made a modification on paths fifteen and twenty-eight after publishing Liber 777. Other systems exist and are useful. This system is used to render the book consistent with itself and with the writings of those mentioned. The attribution of the Hebrew letters in this fashion to the twenty-two paths was published by Athanasius Kircher in the middle of the seventeenth century in Oedipus Aegyptiacus, Tom II, folding plate between pages 288 and 289. Kircher's astrological correspondences are at variance with these.

The first example shall set the method of this brief inquiry with an examination of the "Traditional" Tree of Life diagram as used by the Order of the Golden Dawn. This treatment employs the pictures on the Tarot Major Trumps for the twenty-two paths. Hebrew Letter correspondence is better, but it is not so easily understood at first. The Treatment will begin at the bottom and work toward the top.

The Traditional Tree of Life Diagram:

10 ........ Malkut (Kingdom). this is the physical world and all things that are perceived by the physical senses. This is the Earth. Consciousness here is direct and limited. No thoughts about the things experienced are proper to Malkut, only the experiences of the physical events and material objects.

32 ........ The Path of Taw (The World in Tarot). This is the transitional state of consciousness whereby the physical, direct consciousness of the Sephira Malkut is elevated to the half-awake dream consciousness of the Sephira Yesod. The world is found to be filled with endless forms in endless change. On the Tarot card of this path, a figure dances out the steps of existence within a womb- shaped wreath. The perceptions of the senses in the World are like those of an observer at a ballet. This is the first drawing of meaning from the Physical World and from the sensual experience of all created things.

9 ......... Yesod (Foundation). This is the place of beginning thought. Yesod is both the foundation of higher thought and the foundation of the forms that manifest downward in Malkut. Yesod is the level of dream and fantasy. The perceptions of the senses are woven into a loose pattern that is but a single step from direct perception of the Physical World. When the mind descends from Yesod to Malkut, the path of Taw imprints the pattern of Yesod on the Physical World. When the mind ascends from Malkut to Yesod, a pattern is formed from sense perceptions.

31 ........ The path of Shin (Judgment in Tarot). This path elevates a selected part of the physical, direct consciousness of Malkut to the rational consciousness of the Sephira Hod. The card of Judgment shows an angel (the higher will) drawing forth human beings from graves. Rational will seeks for order among such perceptions. When cause- effect relationships are found and associations are discovered, this rational will acts to construct a world view. This world view is a hit-or-miss thing. Anything in the physical world of Malkut that does not fit the evolving world view of Hod is rejected by the rational will of the path of Shin. When a failure occurs in rationalizing out the Hod world view, new sense perceptions are selected to permit reconstruction. When the world view of Hod is perfected, the lower rational mind is resurrected from the grave of matter.

30 ........ The path of Resh (The Sun in Tarot). This path elevates a selected part of the dream consciousness of Yesod to the rational consciousness of Hod. The card of the Sun shows children dancing beneath the face of the day star. The Sun of Reason sheds light upon mysteries of the playful mind. This play is dream and fantasy. From the study of such things, the world view of Hod is tempered from the starkness produced by the hard path of Shin to a softer and more flexible awareness. Shin does little more than organize perceptions. Resh adds the tricks of symbolism to further compound and develop these perceptions. Resh introduces allegory and metaphor into Hod just as Shin introduced analysis and synthesis. The path of Resh completes the tools of mundane reason.

8 ......... Hod (Glory). This is the place of the first flowering of thought into order. Hod is the glory of the world of the senses and the compacted will of the higher Sephiroth. Hod is built up by rational inquiry along the path of Shin and by analogy along the path of Resh. The end product is the development in Hod of a rational, self- consistent consciousness of material things and of imaginings. When this is reversed, and the influence of Hod descends along the paths of Resh and Shin, fantasies are designed to embody ideas in Yesod, and the physical world is controlled in Malkut.

29 ........ The path of Qof (The Moon in Tarot). This path elevates a selected part of the physical, direct consciousness of Malkut to the emotional consciousness of the Sephira Netzach. The card of the Moon shows a strange scene of animals, crayfish, water, towers, a path and the Moon. This complex of images suggests slow evolution of feeling and emotional reaction. The physical world gives many experiences. These experiences may be rationally examined (to lead toward Hod) or they may be emotionally accepted (to draw toward Netzach). The path of Qof is emotional acceptance of experience. By Qof the senses develop strange echoes in the soul. Preferences and desires awaken without explanation. Some things effect the mind to produce pleasure, others to produce pain. Some experiences seem to be meaningless in terms of emotion. Such unemotional experiences are ignored in the path of Qof. Only those things that quicken or slow the heart are taken up by this road to build the emotional mind that dwells in Netzach.

28 ........ The path of Tzaddi (The Star in Tarot --- var., Emperor) elevates a selected part of the dream consciousness of Yesod to the emotional consciousness of Netzach. The card of the Star shows an allegorical figure pouring water upon the earth and into a pool. This image represents the emotional qualities of fantasies and stories as they are enjoyed by the empathic mind. A story or legend in Yesod would be analyzed along the path of Resh to discover its hidden meanings. The path of Tzaddi seeks emotional content from such a story or legend. To Hod go the theories. To Netzach go the feelings. The path of Tzaddi makes less demanding and less immediate the emotional pattern of the soul in Netzach. A dreaminess is added from the Sephira of dreams to help emotions trust each other. (On the variation: Crowley switched the Emperor and Star cards in an effort to explain a passage in Liber AL vel Legis. If we view the woman of the Star as Mother and the man of the Emperor as Grandfather, it is possible to see the Emperor as emotion striving to assess life. The Star then becomes an ordering influence.)

27 ........ The path of Peh (The Tower in Tarot). This path elevates the rational consciousness of Hod until it can mingle with developing emotional consciousness in Netzach. The path of Peh beings order to the emotions so that no emotion runs contrary to another emotion. The emotions are guided and ruled by what is best for all the mind. Emotions are not suppressed; rather they are liberated from disorder. Instead of breaks and crises in the feelings, there are waves of greater feeling and of lesser feeling. These waves are synchronized and compose a sort of tide of the soul. Before the influence of Hod is added by Peh to Netzach, storms and madness wreck the emotions. After this path has been taken, the emotions are in concert. At no time does the rational mind at Hod dominate the emotions; guidance is necessary only to make them healthy. The emotions are more important and more holy than empty and lifeless reason. The card of the Tower shows a phallic building crowned with fire and lightning. This represents both pain along the way and the orgasmic joy that accompanies marriage of reason and emotion. After this marriage is consummated, emotion rules the mind while seated on a throne of reason.

7 ......... Netzach (Victory through Endurance). This is the place in which the lower worlds are perfected through elevation of emotion to the queenship of the mind. Netzach is the victory of mind in the senses, and the embodied passion of the higher Sephiroth. The path of Qof draws sympathies from sense impressions in Malkut and builds from them a loose mesh of emotional reaction in Netzach. The path of Tzaddi adds melodramatic touches by drawing upon the dreams of Yesod. The path of Peh coordinates the whole by drawing upon rational conceptions from Hod. Netzach is then complete, and fervor links with reason to rule the lower worlds.

26 ........ The path of Ayin (The Devil in Tarot). This path elevates the rational world view of Hod to begin the formation of consciousness of life in the Sephira Tipheret. The Devil card represents a monstrous beast upon a half- cube. At this "Devil's" feet are chained womanly reason and manly emotion. These must be liberated from the undue restraint of the chains forged unfeelingly in Hod. Strong is the rational mind of Hod, too strong to permit free use of its strength. The path of Ayin sets before the reasoning mind an image of its excesses. Earth-bound reason must give way at times so that higher and more comprehensive plans may be accomplished. Before this path is traveled, the mind in Hod is like a well-meaning police officer who is too much concerned with the letter of the law and not enough with the spirit. The path of Ayin opens the eye of reason to let it see purpose behind method. Hod then becomes a true servant of the safety of the mind, applying its rules for thought in some cases and not applying them in others. When the purpose of life is threatened by a particular way of living, Hod learns to make a new way more in keeping with the whole life. This path to Tipheret gives a basis of reason to the totality of living that is consciousness in Tipheret.

25 ........ The path of Samekh (Temperance in Tarot). This path elevates the dream of Yesod to a consciousness of personal life and purpose in Tipheret. The card depicts an angel mixing fire with a water nature (The Eagle of Scorpio) and water with a fiery nature (The Lion of Leo). In this way, by taking a little from one thing that has too much and by adding it to that which lacks, all thoughts are given balance. This is a blending of the elements of consciousness until each contains a little of each. The net result is a single, cohesive mentality. This is the substance from which the Tipheret life consciousness develops. Reason comes from Hod to order it. Emotion comes from Netzach to enliven it. The substance of life is drawn up along the path of Samekh from Yesod.

24 ........ The path of Nun (Death in Tarot). This path elevates the emotional complex of Netzach to the living totality of Tipheret. The card of Death shows a skeleton harvesting and nurturing a field of human parts and green plants. This shows how proper care and attention, through successive generations of feelings, produces a perfect growth of emotion. Emotional consciousness comes in ebbs and flows. At its high points, it ripens. At its low points, it fades. Consciousness of this cycling of emotional intensity enables a careful mind to nurture its garden of passions in the high times and to weed it in the low times. When emotions are ripe and full, they freed into Tipheret and make a joy of life. When emotions are low and weak, the painful emotions can be rooted out. This is a slow process requiring many cycles of emotion, but it succeeds in time. The Netzach mind becomes a wondrous garden filled with delights and loves. These are then chosen so that no matter what the season (the state of the physical world) some emotions are to be found in full bloom. The emotional cycles then change from intermittent elation and depression to successive blossoming in the garden of the soul. When the beauty of Netzach is a continuous and orderly dance of many hued and strong sentiments, it adds the seed of life to Tipheret and wakens the consciousness of life.

6 ......... Tipheret (Beauty). This is the place of consciousness of the whole of life. Tipheret is the seat of the healthy soul. when Tipheret is fully attained, love runs smoothly. The details of existence in the World come to Tipheret by the path of Samekh from the dreaming world. Tipheret has no direct contact with Malkut; the physical world must be a little removed from the inner world. The path of Ayin aids Tipheret to structure the details of life. The path of Nun gives meaning to the changes of life. In Tipheret is built up the full conception of what it is to live and to be among the living. Order is seen in all things. Delight is taken in all things. All things are seen in their ever-changing interrelationships. From Tipheret descends the control that brings life to fruition in the physical world. Netzach alone can do no more than look for pleasure. Hod alone can do no more than look for structure. Yesod alone can do no more than link one experience with others. When Tipheret rules these three; Netzach, Hod and Yesod act together to enrich physical existence in Malkut.

23 ........ The path of Mem (The Hanged Man in Tarot) elevates the lower reason of Hod to the higher rationality of Geburah. Hod reasons with the things of the Earth, of Malkut. Hod is an examining consciousness, a mentality that sets things into order only through observation of their manifestations. Geburah is a state of mind that plans without concern for details. Hod knows the detailed workings of the physical world. Geburah knows the purpose of the World. The path of Mem connects the precise but fundamentally purposeless organizing activities of Hod with the purposeful but indefinite organizing will of Geburah. The Tarot card shows a man hung upside down by one foot. This is the symbolic state of one who has possessed all but understood nothing. Such a person, gifted with the powers of Hod, soon comes to boredom. His worldly consciousness gives no purpose to his world. To control is not to understand. Such a person comes finally to be hung upon the gibbet of his worldly power. Nothing has meaning. All things obey, but to no purpose. Perfect skill without a perfect purpose is maddening. In that inversion of consciousness an openness occurs. The mind yearns for another mind, an inward guidance. When this yearning is crowned with success, Geburah has been touched along the path of Men. Down this path floods inspiration and purpose in life. Tipheret can view all of life and know its course; but Geburah directs life and is the immediate source of its purpose. Tipheret responds to Geburah's plan. Hod is the working out of that plan in detail.

22 ........ The path of Lamed (Justice in Tarot) elevates the life view of Tipheret to the life purpose of Geburah. The card of Justice depicts a woman with scales and sword. This is the mediatrix of mind, weighing out the proper measure of all things and fending off excess. The mentality of Tipheret is examined along the path of Lamed to produce the guiding will of Geburah. This is a rational process much like that which occurred between Yesod and Hod and between Malkut and Hod. The difference is found in the object. To build Hod, the chief concern is in how and why things work mechanically. In the reaching of Geburah, the concern is in how and why things work morally. Hod seeks and develops skill in the doing of things. Geburah seeks and develops skill in discerning and directing the purpose of life. Along the path of Lamed, the mind rises by examination of its motives until such motives are justified with each other. This justification gives a personal morality to the soul. All older, fragmentary moralities are forgotten in the one, consuming morality of Geburah. This is not necessarily a good thing. The morality so evolved may be a hateful and a repressive one. In that case, mind will not progress beyond Geburah. Only when mind is ready to love and to bestow all good things on all who need, will evolution continue. Once Geburah is reached in this way, the path of Lamed becomes a channel for change in all aspects of life. Before reaching Geburah, life is locked in by many vague restrictions. Once Geburah has been fully attained, all the shackles are dropped away; and life is free to follow its willed course. The attainment of Geburah is marked by a freedom from all sense of guilt and unhappy restraint, but not abandonment of duty to others. When this state is reached before the mind is ready for such responsibility and freedom, great physical danger results. This can happen when people take drugs that are beyond their strength. Such powerful drugs act to release the moral bonds that restrain the mind. This is a very good thing when the mind is fundamentally healthy, or at least not violent or self- destructive. If the mind that is so prematurely released is filled with self hate or with a poor understanding of people and things, this release may lead to irrational and harmful actions. To a calm, loving and knowing mind there is no harm in moderate use of legal consciousness altering drugs. To a violent, hateful and ignorant mind, such drugs are an extreme danger. To a mind that is partly calm and partly violent, partly loving and partly hateful, partly knowing and partly ignorant, such drugs may teach a way to the higher state of the mind. To such a person, consciousness altering drugs are religious sacramentals, at the same time helpful and dangerous. When peace, love and knowledge dominate the soul, drugs are often a good thing. When anger, hate and ignorance are in charge, drugs may help; but professional restraint is necessary.

5 ......... Geburah (Severity). This is the place of consciousness of the proper course of life. This is the guiding will that sets all limits and releases all restrictions. When Geburah is fully attained, conscience ceases to plague, for the dictates of the conscience become consistent and welcome. Geburah is the master of the house of life that is situated in Tipheret. Geburah is obedience to the Will of God in all ways understood. Geburah, once attained, means an end to hesitations. When this Sephira is fully active, the mind is rendered capable of immediate response and proper action in any situation no matter how complex. The working of the body depends on the lower Sephiroth. When all the Sephiroth up to and including Geburah are perfectly developed in a person, that person is capable of anything in mental and in physical action. Nothing can oppose such an one. Such a major adept is perfectly a demigod to rule the world of his life. In practice, the Sephiroth are fully developed for some things and lacking where others are concerned. Repeated passage over the Tree of Life increases the development of the Sephiroth and bestows more power on each attainment of Geburah. At some times, great development is accomplished in the Sephiroth and great freedom to change is obtained. Such a time may be considered a mark of initiation, but not mastery of Geburah. Total attainment and mastery of the Sephiroth is never found in a mortal man. It is man's purpose to increase his attainments toward an ever advancing ideal. To reach perfection is to become one with God and therefore to become useless to one's brothers and sisters in the world. Touch union with God, but return quickly to the place of the crying children. Union with God is not the sole purpose of Being, it is a pleasantness that gives strength in time of need. The purpose of Being is found in being in all ways. Geburah is the master who selects the ways. Tipheret is the place of the mustering of the ways. Netzach is the place of the brightening of the ways. Hod is the place of the ordering of the ways. Yesod is the staging place from which the ways reach the physical. Malkut is the place of the action of the ways.

21 ........ The path of Koph (The Wheel of Fortune in Tarot) elevates the emotional complex of Netzach to the emotional idealism of Chesed. The card depicts a wheel surrounded by symbolic creatures. This is a representation of the many cycles of the emotions that are experienced in Netzach. When one emotion is found to underlay all others and to pass without change through all the cycles that change all other emotions, the Sephira of Chesed is touched. The one underlying emotion serves to build a basis for the emotional perfection of Chesed.

20 ........ The path of Yod (The Hermit in Tarot) elevates the emotional part of the life summation of Tipheret to the emotional union of Chesed. The card shows an old man with staff and lantern on the summit of a snow capped mountain. This is an image of the purified mind searching for vitality and love in the life experience. The emotional aspects of Tipheret are received along the path of Yod to build the emotional perfection of Chesed. When Chesed is reached, the path of Yod becomes a channel for a vitalizing flow of purified feeling from Chesed into Tipheret.

19 ........ The path of Tet (Strength in Tarot) elevates the purposeful will of Geburah to the motivating emotional state of Chesed. The Tarot card shows a Woman opening the jaws of a Lion. This is a representation of purified emotion (Chesed and the Woman) uniting with forceful will (Geburah and the Lion) to invigorate the World. Geburah is filled with purpose, but lacks consistent desire. Without powerful motivation, the highest purpose may go unrealized. The mentality of Geburah knows what to do in life, has the power to do it, but lacks the desire to consistently labor. The path of Tet draws forth from Geburah its systematic, purposeful action and compares it with the desire that supports existence, through Chesed. If the Geburah purpose is unworthy of the Chesed desire, attainment of Chesed is not complete. Only when Geburah's purpose is a perfect match to Chesed's desire will the path of Tet be fully opened. When that happens, the life of the person experiencing this consciousness of Chesed will become totally active. Geburah supplies the direction of life, but Chesed supplies the motivation to live. Geburah is the master and Chesed is the mistress of the house of life in Tipheret.

4 ......... Chesed (Mercy). This is the place of consciousness of motivation in life. Chesed is the consciousness of all- encompassing desire for being. All the Sephiroth below Chesed lack the vigor to fulfill their promise until they are joined to Chesed. When Chesed is fully developed and the lower seven Sephiroth are functioning with force and power, the time has come to face the Great Abyss that divides the lower seven from the higher three. Chesed reverses its vitalizing force and the whole lower Tree is filled with yearning to pass up toward the infinite. This is only desirable in that it compliments the attachment to the physical world. Above Chesed are levels of thought too distant to easily effect the physical world. They must be explored and drawn toward the union of consciousness that occurs in Tipheret. It is pointless to climb the Tree of Life just to attain union with pure spirit in Keter. That results in rebirth back into the same course. It is best to develop the whole Tree in such a manner that the tendency to fall down into the darkness of matter is exactly balanced by the tendency to ascend into the light of spirit. As was said before, the middle place is the best place for human consciousness. Neither the physical nor the spiritual should be ignored. Both must be united in a dynamic union.

18 ........ The path of Chet (The Chariot in Tarot) elevates the rationality of purpose in Geburah to the level of pure abstraction in Binah. The Tarot card depicts a crowned figure in a Chariot (the Merkabah of Qabalah and the Royal Arch of Freemasonry) drawn by two sphinxes. This image represents contained force, in the sense of thought contained in the body. The rational elements of Geburah are themselves subjected to reason and the methods of thinking are discovered. These methods of rational thought are preserved as laws of reason in the consciousness level called Binah. After they have been isolated from particular applications by passage along the path of Chet, these archetypal patterns of thought descend at need to furnish tools for individual reasonings in Geburah and Hod. Binah is the crown of the left hand pillar of the Tree. This left hand pillar is called the pillar of severity, owing to the purgative nature of reason.

17 ........ The path of Zain (The Lovers in Tarot) elevates the rational part of Tipheret to the level of pure reason in Binah. All the passage and complexity of life is examined by the mind to abstract from it the application of reason in the course of living. This set of perfected techniques is added to Binah to round out the tools of the mind. The card corresponding to this path shows two lovers under two trees being united by an angel. The meaning is that the mind (the angel) differentiates between aspects of creation (man and woman) to learn the means of uniting and dividing them. When this path is complete, Binah is attained.

3 ......... Binah (Understanding). This is the place of consciousness of the methods and laws of thought. Binah is a state of mind that has little direct touch with the physical. In Binah only abstract thought exists. That thought is solely devoted to the rational techniques. Mathematics in its purest sense belongs to Binah, also logic and mathematical physics. It might be thought that the last mentioned is too mundane to belong to the level of pure thought, but the reverse is true. Mathematical physics is concerned with evolution of models and theories that fit experimental discoveries; but it is not so much a mode of understanding the physical world as it is a way of abstractly developing a thing having the same general properties as the physical world. There is a thin line between the physical and the abstract. Speculation is on one side of that line while observation is on the other. Things like mathematical physics are not organized experiences of sensation (proper to Hod), but they are idealized abstractions of the physical. They are attempt to produce patterns that could be followed in the creation of a physical universe, but not necessarily this particular Physical Universe. Binah is the storehouse of archetypal patterns for the lower Sephiroth. Binah is a library for Geburah and a pantry for Chesed.

16 ........ The path of Vau (The Hierophant in Tarot) elevates the unified emotional consciousness of Chesed to the level of pure emotional force. All the consciousness of Chesed is involved in a single drive toward some particular fulfillment. This drive is separated from its particular goal in the rise from Chesed to Chokmah along the path of Vau. In Chokmah there is only force: drive and desire without object. This is like a vague but intense unrest that animates a person who knows that something is needed, but who does not know what that thing is. Chokmah is pure force, the source of all energies. The Tarot card of the Hierophant shows a teacher of wisdom ministering to two priests. The meaning of this image is found in the nature of the force that binds and creates. All things must be desired and willed. Before anything can be, there must be the blessing that is the desire force, the energy toward manifestation. The real essence behind all things is desire for existence.

15 ........ The path of Heh (The Emperor in Tarot. var. Star --- see above on # 28) elevates the life consciousness of Tipheret, in its emotional part, to the level of pure energy in Chokmah. The Tarot card depicts an Emperor in marital armor sitting upon a stone cube by a river. This is the absolute master of mind sitting on a symbol of the universe and ruling over the flow of consciousness. The path of Vau draws up desire elements from the living consciousness of Tipheret to bring them into union with the absolute and undirected force that resides in Chokmah. This desire force is the true master of all that exists; for, without it, nothing has meaning.

14 ........ The path of Dalet (The Empress in Tarot) elevates the absolute reason of Binah to the absolute desire of Chokmah. Binah contains all the tools that go into the making of the universe. These tools are worthless without an energy to make them work. All the power to make plans and carry them out is implicit in Binah. This power is separated from such abstract works and drawn up to complete the formation of Chokmah. Chokmah is the force that underlies all else. After Chokmah is reached, the paths from it supply unconditional vitality to all that is below. The Tarot card of the Empress shows an Empress on a bench in a garden. This is a depiction of the process whereby the desire force in Chokmah is joined with the capacity to multiply and embody that force in Binah. The Empress is the mother (Binah) who receives the seed of passion from the father (Chokmah) and who gives birth to all that exists (the things in the garden).

2 ......... Chokmah (Wisdom). This is the place of consciousness of absolute desire. Chokmah is desire without object, desire strong enough to create a world. Chokmah is the summit of emotion, a vast whirling of energy. This Sephira is the crown of the right hand pillar of the Tree of Life. The right hand pillar is called that of mercy, owing to the clement nature of uncomplicated emotion.

13 ........ The path of Gimel (The High Priestess in Tarot) elevates the totality of living consciousness at Tipheret to ultimate dissolution in the Absolute consciousness of Being that is found in Keter. The card depicts a pythoness between two pillars and before a veil. This veil is the last concealment of the Absolute. The pythoness is the last voice before the silence that is the ultimate voice of God. This path is the connection between pure Existence without modification in Keter and living existence with all its various forms in Tipheret.

Da'at ..... Midway on the path of Gimel it is the fashion of Qabalists to depict an eleventh Sephiroth called Da'at (Knowledge). This is a symbolic filling of the Great Abyss with the lost knowledge that makes one thing of all creation. It is said that when Da'at is restored, all of the Tree of Life will be one thing and that the Tree will bloom and bear fruit. This means that there is a way to join the abstract Sephiroth above the Great Abyss with the seven Sephiroth below it. When this joining is complete, the Tree is made symmetrical and perfect. Until this joining is made there can be no true mastery of the Tree of Life, or full living in all ways of the mind. The examples which follow this traditional exposition suggest a general way in which this joining may be represented. From the representation, the experience may in time be found. A few more details remain in the traditional example.

12 ........ The path of Bet (The Magician in Tarot) elevates pure, abstract reasoning processes to dissolution in the Absolute unity of Keter. The card depicts a Magician in a garden with his ritual tools upon a table. The meaning of this image is found in the relationship that exists between pure Being (The force that passes through the Magician to work wonders) and the tools whereby that state of Being is incorporated into particular forms (the tools and actions of the Magician).

11 ........ The path of Aleph (The Fool in Tarot) elevates desire force in Chokmah to dissolution in the Absolute Being of Keter. The card depicts a carefree person walking toward the edge of a cliff. This image represents total absence of anything to limit or condition. This is the path of Aleph. To the Fool, there is no restriction. The Fool is free.

1 ......... Keter (Crown). This is the place of unconditional existence which may be identified with the highest state of consciousness. In Keter, all is one. Keter is the highest of the four Sephiroth that form the middle pillar of the Tree of Life. This middle pillar is a series of graduated levels of balanced consciousness reaching from the purely physical to the purely spiritual. The two pillars to the right and left contain unbalanced states of consciousness which display either too much emotion or too much rationality. Only the middle pillar is a comfortable place to reside.

This concludes the first of the examples. Those which follow represent unconventional reorganizations of the paths of the Tree of Life. In each of the next three examples exactly twenty-two paths are retained to link the Sephiroth of the Tree. These paths are rearranged to form traditional patterns of five and six pointed stars (pentagrams and hexagrams). Through such speculation, new insights into the interrelationships between the Sephiroth may be obtained.
In every instance in this Appendix, the numbers one through thirty-two represent the same things in the tables of Appendix B and Crowley's Liber 777. These numbers are placed differently in the following examples to facilitate explanation of the diagrams. No absolute rectitude in these associations is claimed. Anyone may make any assignments to these paths that occur to mind. The specific associations are intended as hypotheses only, not dogma.

Here is the second example of the Tree of life to be presented in this Appendix. It is called:

The Tree of the Two Pentagrams.

The principal change from tradition in this example is a redrawing of the inner paths of the Tree to represent two pentagrams and a deletion of the two outer paths from Malkut. The Sephiroth have been left in their usual positions and the path numerations have been changed to reflect the new organization. Before turning attention to the new meanings of the paths, a few remarks should be made concerning the symbolism of the pentagram.

Pentagram in
Normal Orientation
Pentagram in Inverted
or Reversed Orientation
N.B. This allocation of elements is intended to associate with the following diagrams. It is not the same association as used by Crowley in his rituals involving "upside-down" pentagrams -- see the Ace of Disks in the Thoth Deck for that. This allocation comes from flipping the pentagram around a horizontal axis through the third dimension. Crowley's elemental allocation to a reversed or averse pentagram is accomplished by rotating a pentagram 180 degrees in the plane of the drawing. The latter yields fire to top left, earth to top right, air to medial left, water to medial right and spirit to bottom.

A pentagram is a star of five points. It is a symbol of man, an emblem of the power of Mars (not stressed as such here), a representation of the four material elements and the ruling subtle element called spirit, an emblem of "good" when in normal orientation with a point on top and an emblem of "evil" when inverted with a point on the bottom. There is a more considerable bit of symbolism behind the "good" and "evil" orientations of the pentagram. As might be suspected, the vague generalizations "good" and evil" are underlain by more specific meanings. The "good" pentagram with point on top is a symbol of a human being in upright posture. The uppermost point is the head; the two lowest points are the legs and feet; the two middle points are the arms and hands. The head rules the limbs; therefore, the conscious mind is said to rule the powers of the body. In terms of elements, the element spirit (the head) rules fire and earth (the legs) and water and air (the arms). This pentagram is said to be "good" only because rulership by mind (or spirit) is usually considered to be a "good" state of affairs. The "evil" pentagram with point down represents a distortion of the human form. There is no uppermost point and therefore no head. The lowest point represents the sexual organs. The inverted pentagram is a symbol of a mindless (headless) human who has enormous physical drives (sexual organs). This inverted pentagram therefore represents the powers of the human body (arms and legs) responding to physical desires (sexual organs) without rule or guidance from the mind (headless). Elemental associations to the pentagram give a similar sort of conception. The elements are symbolized by the two upper and two middle points of this inverted star. The physical universe is represented by the lowest point. No spiritual force is symbolized in the inverted pentagram; the elements are in a state of chaos.
Among the writings of those following the traditions of the Order of the Golden Dawn, there is an alternate theory concerning the inverted pentagram. This theory considers the inverted pentagram to be a symbol of a human form turned upside-down. The lowest point is considered to be the head. Such an inverted pentagram is held to symbolize mind (spirit) buried beneath function (the elements). There is nothing fundamentally in contradiction between these two interpretations of the inverted pentagram, beyond assignment of elements and body parts to the points.
Crowley's approach to inverted pentagrams can be seen on the Minor Arcana of the Thoth Tarot for the fives. In addition, O.T.O. Newsletter, # 4 has an article on all 24 of the pentagrams used in Crowley's approaches to ritual and symbolism. This method of interpretation of the pentagram is only superficially derived from the Golden Dawn inversion. It carries into depths not necessary for this presentation.

The Tree of the Two Pentagrams has two pentagrams and no middle pillar paths. These properties will be briefly analyzed in the following study. In all cases of the examples of this Appendix, the numbers from one to thirty- two on the diagrams refer to the tables in Appendix B. Even though the paths are changed about, these examples always use the same numbers to refer to the same Hebrew Letters, Astrological Symbols, and Tarot Cards. The numeration of the paths is changed to reflect the changed situation. Various correspondences to Hebrew Letters, Tarot Trumps and the like follow these numbers to the new locations. Other assignments are always possible. The symbols employed are flexible enough to provide some insights wherever they are placed. Here is the analysis of the Tree of Two Pentagrams:

Malkut .......... This Sephira represents the physical world as before, but now only the path of Taw leads upward toward Yesod. The paths between Malkut and Hod and between Malkut and Netzach vanished. This Tree represents a state of development in which consciousness of the physical world is not obtained directly from Malkut in regard to reason and emotion (Hod and Netzach). The physical world communicates through visions and dreams (Yesod) with the higher faculties of the mind. This state is attained when a person is able to perceive "Auras" or receive other complex impressions of the state of the physical world. This change is like that experienced in learning to read. At the beginning, the words have to be spelled out letter- by-letter. Later, words and sentences are taken in at a glance. Beyond this point, the meaning of a page leaps out to the reader without any dwelling on unnecessary individual words. Effectively, the perceptions of the senses are no longer treated separately but directly assembled in Yesod as a cohesive impression of the physical world.

Yesod ........... Yesod receives the sense impressions of Malkut consciousness and transmits them by four paths to higher Sephiroth. The path from Yesod to Tipheret is deliberately broken to isolate Tipheret from direct contact with Yesod. Consciousness of living in Tipheret is no longer directly concerned with the dreams of Yesod, but derives its understanding of the Yesod consciousness from lower reason (Hod) and lower emotion (Netzach). More will be said about this below.

Hod ............. The first path from Yesod leads to Hod. This is the new path of Shin, number 31. Hod makes a rational examination along this path to discover logical meaning in the consciousness at Yesod. The three paths leading upward from Hod are in the same positions we find on the traditional Tree of Life. They have been given new numerations to reflect their changed functions.

Netzach ......... Two paths lead upward into Netzach and two lead upward from Netzach. All four are in the same positions that are found on the traditional Tree; but, like those from Hod, they have new numerations and new functions. The new path of Resh, path 30, connects Yesod and Netzach. This signifies that the relationship between lower emotion at Netzach and dreaming consciousness at Yesod has become more inquisitive and less reactive. This is not quite the same as a rational function, but it is more like intuition or the taking of omens and signs. This activity of new path 30 may be compared with the artistry of a Chef in checking the quality of of his sauces. The smell, taste, appearance and consistency of a sauce are more important than precise measurement of the ingredients. Such work must be done as much by feel as by science. That is the manner of the new path of Resh. The path from Hod to Netzach has undergone a similar change. This path is now that of Qof, number 29. New path 29 is not violent. This Tree represents an advance over the state depicted in the traditional Tree of Life. Hod and Netzach have ceased to battle. Reason and emotion have joined hands. Hod and Netzach are connected by a transitory state of consciousness that resembles evolution and growth from a primitive but exact structure in Hod to a complex and living structure in Netzach. Hod provides the skeleton and Netzach grows the flesh by the path of Qof, new path 29.

Tipheret ........ Tipheret receives influence from below by two paths and transmits it above by two paths. All four of these are found on the traditional Tree of Life, but here again the numerations reflect new functions. The path that traditionally connects Tipheret with Yesod has vanished. Tipheret is no longer directly concerned with interpretation and direct elevation of the Yesod level. This activity has been delegated to the four Sephiroth just above and just below Tipheret. Tipheret has become a nerve center to coordinate the functions of Chesed, Geburah, Netzach and Hod in the lower part of the Tree. This represents a state of development in which the Tipheret life overview has become strongly established, and the influences from above and below on the middle pillar of the Tree of Life have been temporarily cut off. Receiving these influences directly would inhibit working out a world view in Tipheret. Such higher and lower influences are only permitted to reach Tipheret after they have been interpreted and filtered by other Sephiroth. Tipheret reassembles rational and emotional content in accord with the prevailing view of life, a process akin to the Spagyric technique in Alchemy (See The Alchemist's Handbook by Frater Albertus, Weiser, New path 28 from Hod transmits insights into the rational content of the physical. New path 27 from Netzach transmits emotional energy derived from the physical. New path 24 transmits powerful directives from the higher reason of Geburah. New path 21 transmits higher emotional power from Chesed. All these energies and structures are coordinated in Tipheret and sent back along the same four paths to direct activity in the physical and celestial levels of thought.

Geburah ......... Geburah connects to the other Sephiroth by seven paths in this new conception. Three of these paths connect to the lower Sephiroth, and four connect to the higher. New path 24 has been discussed in connection with Tipheret. New path 25 connects Geburah with Yesod. By this path the moral influence of Geburah is exerted to bring Yesod consciousness into harmony with higher consciousness. Yesod in its turn conveys information concerning the physical world to the Geburah level. New path 26 connects Geburah and Hod. This path exerts control over lower reason to maintain its alliance with the purpose of higher reason.

Chesed ......... Chesed has now seven paths connecting it with other Sephiroth. Four lead to lower Sephiroth and three to higher. New path 21 has been described under Tipheret. New path 23 connects Netzach with Chesed. This path sustains the lower emotional complex by keeping it in contact with higher motivation. New path 22 connects Yesod and Netzach to maintain emotional balance in the conceptions taken from the physical world and to communicate these conceptions more directly into the level of Chesed. New path 20 connects Geburah and Chesed so that higher reason may be invigorated by higher emotion.

Binah ......... Four paths connect to Binah, two from below and two from above. New path 19 feeds the power of absolute rationality from Binah to Geburah. New path 18 links the emotional motivation of Chesed with the perfected order of Binah.

Chokmah ......... Four paths connect to Chokmah, three from below and one from above. New path 17 transmits the absolute energy of Chokmah to intensify the emotional directing force of Chesed. New path 16 keeps Geburah aware of the underlying energy that permeates all purpose and all creation. New path 15 asserts the rule of the energies of Chokmah over the rational abstractions of Binah.

Keter ........... Four paths communicate downward from Keter to the nearest four Sephiroth. New path 14 unifies the purposeful consciousness of Geburah. New path 13 unifies the motivating force of Chesed. Paths 12 and function as they do on the traditional Tree of Life.

The Lower Pentagram:

This pentagram is inverted and shows a major concentration in Yesod. The lower pentagram is devoted to utilization and control of physical experiences as communicated through Yesod. All the semi-physical mental states; sexual excitement, hunger, anger, pleasure, etc. are examined and developed in accord with influences derived indirectly from the upper part of the Tree. Tipheret acts to coordinate and monitor the process without direct contact with its principal seat in Yesod. This inverted pentagram is not in any sense "evil." It is a special focusing of developed consciousness on the immediate connection to the physical world. Through this focusing, a powerful link between the physical and the spiritual is forged. In time this link will reappear as a path on the Tree of Two Hexagrams linking Yesod and Tipheret. At that time the lower pentagram will open into a hexagram with stabilizing effect. This double pentagram is used to build up a link between the developed states and the physical. The link that is found on the traditional Tree is primarily used to develop awareness of of higher states.

The Higher Pentagram:

This pentagram is in the "normal" or upright orientation. It acts to communicate influences between the five highest Sephiroth, but its functions are not coordinated (Da'at has not yet manifested). It effectively abolishes the Abyss but does not completely link the lower Tree to the Sephira Keter. Parts of the middle pillar have been lost in establishing this star-bridge across the Abyss. Had Keter remained in direct communication with Tipheret, the Abyss would have remained. This stabilizing of the Abyss by elimination of the traditional path of Gimel is implied in the spelling and gematria of a Hebrew word meaning "abyss", HayDaletBetAleph. It is the direct link between Tipheret and Keter that destroys consciousness of the physical world. This link will be remade when the Tree has been strengthened and when Tipheret has ascended to the traditional position of Da'at.

So much for the Tree of the Two Pentagrams. We now take up another example of the Tree of life, called the Tree of the Hexagram and Pentagram. The Tree of the Two Pentagrams represents a stage of development in which attained consciousness in the lower seven Sephiroth links with partly attained consciousness in the highest three Sephiroth to concentrate attention on the Yesod Link to the physical world. The Tree of the Hexagram and Pentagram strengthens consciousness in the upper six Sephiroth to provide a stepping stone to ultimate symmetrical unification of the entire Tree of Life.

The Tree of the Hexagram and Pentagram.

This Tree derives from the Tree of Two Pentagrams by a simple change. The paths numbered 18 and 16 on the Tree of Two Pentagrams are moved until their lower ends terminate in Tipheret instead of in Chesed and Geburah. The upper pentagram of the Tree of the Two Pentagrams then becomes the Hexagram of the Tree of the Hexagram and Pentagram. The ath numerations of this newly developed Hexagram are changed to reflect some new functions. Paths 32 through 20 have the same significance on both these Trees. Paths 12, 17, 12 and 11 are also the same on the two Trees. The effect of changing the remaining paths will be discussed below.

Tipheret ........ Tipheret receives two new paths by this conversion of a pentagram into a hexagram. New path 18 unites the rational principles of Binah with consciousness of life at Tipheret. New path 16 unites the energies of Chokmah with the life consciousness of Tipheret. These changes reestablish two paths that are found on the traditional Tree of Life, but these reestablished paths have a heightened function on the Tree of the Hexagram and Pentagram. By their means the coordinative function of Tipheret is augmented by a greater insight into the spiritual regions of the highest Sephiroth. This increases greatly the power of Tipheret to administrate the surrounding Sephiroth and all but elevates the consciousness at Tipheret above that of Geburah and Chesed. That elevation takes place in the Tree of Two Hexagrams, but it is potentially present in the Tree of the Hexagram and Pentagram.

Binah & Chokmah ........... These two Sephiroth are now linked by new path 13. The mysterious link between energy and the means to use energy is being reforged to enable a return to the traditional relationship between these two Sephiroth in the Tree of Two Hexagrams.

Keter ........... The new path 15 communicates the unity of Keter, as a master of all patterns, to the purpose designing consciousness of Geburah. New path 14 communicates the unity of Keter as a vitalizing basis for the emotional motivating consciousness of Chesed.

The hexagram:

The change of the upper pentagram of the Tree of the Two Pentagrams into a hexagram in this Tree is especially significant. Pentagrams may be considered to represent the spiritual and physical worlds separately. Hexagrams are considered to represent the union of the physical and spiritual worlds. It is an aphorism of the Order of the Golden Dawn that: "The Great Work is accomplished by uniting the Hexagram with the Pentagram." The meaning of this can be made clear symbolically:

The hexagram can represent the whole man, not just the man without sexual organs (upright pentagram) or the headless man (inverted pentagram). This means that both spirit and matter are equally involved in consciousness. Pentagrams represent one-sidedness toward the spiritual or the material. A hexagram represents of perfect union of spiritual and material in a single consciousness. The Tree of the Hexagram and Pentagram has a hexagram above to represent total, Divine consciousness and a pentagram below to represent mortal consciousness. When these two figures are united, human consciousness has developed to its highest state. To go far beyond is to exceed human consciousness. It is desirable to do this near the end of life, before physical death of the body. It is also desirable to be able to do this at any time to obtain thereby all the benefits of unity with the mind of the Deity. This further step involves Tipheret in a special way. The process identifies the lower pentagram with the upper hexagram of the Tree of the Hexagram and Pentagram so that: "That which is above is like to that which is below, and that which is below is like to that which is above, to accomplish the wonders of the one thing." The pentagram is a star of five points and the hexagram is a star of six points. This process of uniting these two stars is symbolized by the formula 5 = 6. The Sephira Tipheret embodies this formula. Tipheret is the fifth Sephira from the bottom of the Tree and the sixth from the top. Tipheret is the Sephira of 5 = 6. The union of the pentagram and hexagram is also symbolized by the formula 5 + 6 = 11. The Sephira Da'at is not fully a part of the Traditional Tree of Life; but tradition states that its place is between Keter and the present place of Tipheret on the middle column of the Tree, and that it will again exist in the Tree when the Knowledge (Da'at means "Knowledge" in Hebrew) that was lost in the fall of mankind from paradise is regained. The number assigned to Da'at is 11 (not the same as path 11 for Aleph). It is the contention of this Author that the accomplishment of the Great Work may be attained by raising the middle pillar of the Tree of Life from Tipheret through Malkut until Tipheret occupies the position traditionally given to Da'at. This involves an elevation of Yesod to the place formerly occupied by Tipheret and an infusion of spiritual consciousness into the physical world so that the whole of the created universe is raised from the former position of Malkut to the former position of Yesod. The Great Work cannot truly be accomplished for anyone until it is accomplished for everyone. This is true in one sense. In another sense any one person may be said to have accomplished the Great Work when that person is able to see pure spirit (Keter) in created matter (Malkut), a traditional Qabalist would say "raise the sparks", perform Tiquon. This involves identity of the inner fantasy world (Yesod) with the outer sense world (Malkut) and identity of the consciousness of one's life (Tipheret) with the consciousness of dreams and fantasies (Yesod) in that life. Accomplishment of the Great Work is creation of harmony within all that constitutes the being of the accomplisher of that Work. This does not mean elimination of all discord; but each discord must be balanced by a corresponding concord, and conversely. The Tree of the Two Hexagrams represents the mind of a person who has completed the Great Work. There are other stages beyond that point. One of them will be illustrated, and others suggested.

The Tree of the Two Hexagrams.

Malkut .......... The Sephira Malkut is connected to the rest of the Tree by four paths. It has risen to the place formerly occupied by the Sephira Yesod. This ascension took place through influx of self-aware consciousness into the physical world. Malkut is linked to the Sephiroth Hod and Netzach by the paths 32 --- full understanding of the material world, and 31 --- full feeling of the rightness of events of the physical world. Path 30 connects Hod and Netzach; this is the established link of perfected thought that joins rational conception of the physical to emotional feeling of the physical. From Malkut to the elevated Yesod goes the 29th path. This 29th path is a passage from enlightened experience in Malkut to enlightened perception of the implicit meanings of the physical in Yesod. Path 27 leads from Malkut to Geburah and conveys the ruling power of Geburah into the Earth. Path 25 balances the Earth with the celestial mercy of Chesed.

Hod ............. The lower rationality is joined to the middle rationality by path 28 --- perfected vision and meditation. Hod is further enlightened along path 24 by the transforming qualities of the elevated Tipheret.

Netzach ......... Path 26 parts the veil of illusion between the lower emotions of Netzach and the middle emotions of Chesed. The 23rd path projects the purified life conception of Tipheret into the lower emotions of Netzach.

Yesod ......... Yesod receives perfect order along path 19 from Binah. Perfect vitality communicates from Chokmah to Yesod along path 17. Path 21 unites the center of the lower universe with the center of the upper universe.

Geburah ......... This Sephira receives order along path 20 from Binah. Geburah is unified by path 16 from Keter.

Chesed .......... Chesed receives vital moving force from Chokmah along path 18. Path 15 communicates the ruling power of unity in Keter into Chesed.

Tipheret ........ Tipheret is unified as before by the 13th path from Keter.

Binah ........... Binah derives creative potency from Chokmah by path 14

Chokmah ......... This Sephira is made one by the path of unmodified existence, path 11.

The lower and upper hexagrams do not directly contact their centers. They depend instead on consciousness derived from other Sephiroth and from the middle pillar. In this way there is a yearning for knowledge from all the Tree instead of a centering on the nearest point of balance. In time this knowledge increases to the point that another stage is reached. Yet another Tree of Life is produced:

The Tree of the Two Cubes:

This new Tree is a three dimensional conception. When viewed schematically on a flat, two-dimensional surface, it seems to display less than twenty-two paths. When viewed in three dimensions, it displays thirty-two parts of which ten (or twelve) are Sephiroth, twenty are simple paths and two are penetrating influences. Very little will be said about this Tree, beyond a few geometrical details. The other versions of the Tree of Life that have been presented in this Appendix have been described in such a manner that the first is most easily understood and the last is most difficult. Those who wish to study such things can do so only as they learn the techniques of interpretation. The Traditional Tree of Life can be learned with little more than simple persistence. The Tree of Two Pentagrams requires more mental effort. The Tree of the Hexagram and Pentagram is more difficult still. That of Two Hexagrams is quite difficult. The Tree of Two Cubes is easy to visualize but complex to understand. Some notes follow:
There are twenty separate edges on the two joined cubes. These edges are assigned path numbers from twelve to thirty-one. The eleventh path, represented by a dot in the center of the upper cube, may be visualized as an influence wholly permeating the upper cube. In like manner, path thirty-two fully permeates the lower cube. The corners of the cubes are twelve in number and represent the Sephiroth. In these corners, Tipheret and Yesod are repeated along major axes to illustrate the way in which they bind together the upper and lower cubes. The upper cube represents the upper Sephiroth and the spiritual. The lower cube represents the lower Sephiroth and the material. Both are joined in a double cube which may, by multiplication, fill all of space.

Two further modifications will be suggested.

In the traditions that come to us from the Golden Dawn and the magical methods of Aleister Crowley, there is a ritual object known as the Double Cubic Altar. This Altar of two cubes is identical in physical appearance with the Tree of Two Cubes. In the tradition that accompanies the Altar, the Sephiroth are not associated with the corners of the cubes, but with the squares that make up the surface of the Altar. There are ten such squares on the surface of the Altar: one at top, two on each of the four sides, and one on the bottom. The top square is assigned to Keter (1). The bottom square is assigned to Malkut (10). The remaining eight Sephiroth are assigned to the four sides in pairs. The exact manner in which the middle eight Sephiroth are assigned may be standardized or it may vary with the nature of the ritual in which the double Cubic Altar is used. The assignment shown in the illustration is merely an example of how such Sephiroth may be balanced on the sides of the Altar. The particular assignment made here is suitable in invocation ritual. The influences of the sides of the Altar are more or less consistent on each side. The interplay of the influences between different sides varies considerably. Other assignments of the Sephiroth would produce different advantages and disadvantages in ritual. Perhaps a good standard assignment to the sides would be one in which the Sephiroth are placed in order clockwise (invoking --- counterclockwise signifies banishing) about the top and counterclockwise about the bottom. When this is done in such a manner that Chokmah and Tipheret are on the same side of the Altar, the influences of the Sephiroth are nicely balanced. In this second arrangement: Binah and Yesod share the same side of the Altar, Geburah and Netzach share the same side, Chesed and Hod share the same side. As far as the remaining 22 paths are concerned, they may be assigned as in the Tree of Two Cubes or in some related pattern.

The last modified Tree to be noted in this Appendix is a familiar one to BOTA members: The Cube of Space of the Sepher Yetzirah. This figure represents the twenty-two paths (corresponding to the letters of the Hebrew Alphabet and the Tarot Major Cards) by the parts of a single cube. The Three Mother Letters: Aleph, Men and Shin (paths 11, 23 and 31) are assigned to three coordinate axes in the body of the Cube. The seven Double Letters are assigned to the six faces and the central point: Bet, Gimel, Dalet, Koph, Peh, Resh and Taw (paths 12, 13, 14, 21, 27, 30 and 32). The remaining twelve Simple Letters: Heh, Vau, Zain, Chet, Tet, Yod, Lamed, Nun, Samekh, Ayin, Tzaddi and Qof (paths 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 22, 24, 25, 26, 28 and 29) are assigned to the twelve edges of the cube. The ten Sephiroth may be assigned to the eight corners, the entire interior and the entire exterior of the Cube, much as they can be assigned to the squares of the Double Cubic Altar. A preferred assignment of the twenty-two paths in detail may be gleaned from the ritual presented in Appendix D of this work and from the writings and teaching of Paul Foster Case in his book The Tarot.

There have also been versions of the Tree of Life in the form of Circles and Spheres, to say nothing of that most common representation in the children's game "Hop-Scotch". The sixteenth century Qabalist, Isaac Luria, taught of a Tree in which the Sephiroth were concentric spheres. The Golden Dawn writings published by Regardie describe a Tree on the surface of a single sphere. There are a number of variations on the traditional Tree of life diagram in the writings of Qabalists of the early Renaissance, and the Irish Book of Kells includes a stylized Tree of Life on a page illuminating the Latin word "Quoniam" at the start of one of the Gospels.
All conceptions of the Tree of Life as a geometrical form are valid. The various designs may be understood separately to great advantage, but they are best understood as developments of one another; as branches, leaves, flowers and fruit of a single invisible Tree. The presentation made in this Appendix offers clues to link the Traditional Tree used by most modern occultists to the Cube of Space. Similar links can be made between the Traditional Tree and the spherical types. Frater Achad's book, The Anatomy of the Body of God, describes a part of such a link. All this is good exercise for the mind and spirit.



The meditations described in this book are intended to develop a "Magical Language." Such magical languages are of several kinds. The type that is discovered through these meditations on the 231 gates is not strictly a language so much as it is a manner of thought, a special fluidity of consciousness. The more usual sort of magical language is a set of symbols, such as Tarot Trumps, alphabet letters, colors, etc. These sets of symbols are chosen in such a way as to exhaust all possibilities of a type. All the traditional colors of the rainbow (usually taken as seven), all the astrological planets, all the letters of a particular alphabet, all the pictures of a particular set are taken as a metaphoric representation of everything that exists. Each of these magical languages or sets of symbols may be used to describe any event or relationship. When several of these sets have the same number of individual symbols, it is often possible to alter the definitions of a few symbols slightly and to establish tables of correspondences between the different sets. In mathematics, that is called "conformal mapping". This book makes frequent reference to a set of 32 symbols which can be subdivided into two smaller sets of 10 and 22 symbols each. These are sometimes taken to be the 10 Sephiroth and the 22 Paths of the Traditional Tree of Life diagram as used by the Order of the Golden Dawn. The simplest such set is composed of the integers from one to thirty-two. Another way to represent the 32 employs colors, another astrological symbols ... there is virtually no limit to the corresponding sets. Crowley's book 777 lists many sets of 32 corresponding symbols. A portion of the 32 corresponds to traditional Qabalistic interpretations of the 22 Hebrew letters. It is that smaller set of 22 symbols that affords practice material for meditations on the 231 gates (all possible combinations of Hebrew letters in pairs with no duplications).
This magical language is a type of Yoga. The mind is trained to form rational links to randomly selected symbols. When sufficiently trained, the mind is able to deal calmly with many different situations. This calmness or evenness of consciousness affords the opportunity for spiritual growth and for self-analysis. The magical language is simply that part of the thinking process which connects any thought to any other thought, no matter how diverse.
The several sets of symbols that are used in these gate meditations are presented here for the convenience of the reader:

Value of
Meaning of
Letter Name:
AlephAleph    1The FoolOx11
BetBet    2The MagicianHouse12
GimelGimel    3The High PriestessCamel13
DaletDalet    4The EmpressDoor14
HehHay    5The Emperor1Window15
VauVau    6The HierophantNail16
ZainZain    7The LoversSword17
ChetChet    8The ChariotFence18
TetTet    9StrengthSerpent19
YodYod  10The HermitHand20
KophKaf  20The Wheel of FortuneClosed Hand21
LamedLamed  30JusticeOx Goad22
MemMem  40The Hanged ManWater23
NunNun  50DeathFish24
SamekhSamekh  60TemperanceProp25
AyinAyin  70The DevilEye26
PehPeh  80The TowerMouth27
TzaddiTzaddi  90The Star2Fish Hook28
QofQof100The MoonBack of Head29
ReshResh200The SunHead30
TawTaw400The WorldCross or Mark32
        1. Crowley sometimes used the Star in this place in the Thoth Deck
        2. Crowley sometimes used the Emperor in this place in the Thoth Deck

Direction or
Atributes from the Sepher Yetzirah
(Golden Dawn version)
AlephElemental Air, Above to BelowBreath of life, Spirit.
BetMercuryAboveAttention, Life and Death.
GimelMoonBelowMemory, Peace and Strife.
DaletVenusEastImagination, Wisdom and Folly.
HehAriesNorth-EastReason, Sight.
VauTaurusSouth-EastIntuition, Hearing.
ZainGeminiEast-AboveDiscrimination, Smell.
ChetCancerEast-BelowReceptive Will, Speech.
TetLeoNorth-AboveSuggestion, Digestion.
YodVirgoNorth-BelowResponse and Union of Opposites, Touch.
KophJupiterWestRotation, Wealth and Poverty.
LamedLibraNorth-WestEquilibrium, Action-work.
MemElemental Water, NeptuneEast to WestReversal, Suspended Mind.
NunScorpioSouth-WestTransformation, Motion.
SamekhSagittariusWest-AboveVerification, Wrath.
AyinCapricornWest-BelowBondage, Mirth.
PehMarsNorthAwakening, Grace and Sin.
TzaddiAquariusSouth-AboveRevelation, Meditation.
QofPiscesSouth-BelowOrganization, Sleep.
ReshSunSouthRegeneration, Fertility and Sterility.
ShinElemental Fire, PNorth to SouthRealization, Decision.
TawElemental Earth, SaturnCenter PointUniversal Consciousness, Dominion and Slavery.

Yetziratic Intelligence
Golden Dawn Version):
Musical Note
(Paul Case Version):
AlephFiery IntelligenceE Natural
BetIntelligence of TransparencyE Natural
GimelUniting IntelligenceG Sharp
DaletLuminous IntelligenceF Sharp
HehConstituting IntelligenceC Natural
VauTriumphant and Eternal IntelligenceC Sharp
ZainDisposing IntelligenceD Natural
ChetIntelligence of the House of InfluenceD Sharp
TetIntelligence of the Secret of all Spiritual ActivitiesE Natural
YodIntelligence of WillF Natural
KophRewarding IntelligenceA Sharp
LamedFaithful IntelligenceG Sharp
MemStable IntelligenceG Sharp
NunImaginative IntelligenceG Natural
SamekhIntelligence of ProbationG Sharp
AyinRenewing IntelligenceA Natural
PehExciting IntelligenceC Natural
TzaddiNatural IntelligenceA Sharp
QofCorporeal IntelligenceB Natural
ReshCollecting IntelligenceD Natural
ShinPerpetual IntelligenceC Natural
TawAdministrative IntelligenceA Natural

The musical correspondences developed by Case associate the Hebrew letters with the black and white keys of the piano in the same pattern as the King Scale colors.

King Scale
Queen Scale
Emperor Scale
Empress Scale
AlephYellowSky BlueBlue Emerald GreenEmerald flecked Gold
BetYellowPurpleGrayIndigo rayed Violet
GimelBlueSilverCold Pale BlueSilver rayed Sky Blue.
DaletEmerald GreenSky BlueEarly Spring GreenBright Rose rayed Pale Green
HehScarletRedBrilliant FlameGlowing Red
VauRed-OrangeDeep IndigoDeep Warm OliveRich Brown
ZainOrangePale MauveNew Yellow LeatherRedish Gray inclined to Mauve
ChetOrange-YellowMaroonRich Bright RussetDark Greenish Brown
TetYellowDeep PurpleGrayReddish Amber
YodYellow-GreenSlate GrayGreen-GrayPlum
KophVioletBlueRich PurpleBlue rayed Yellow
LamedEmerald GreenBlueDeep Blue-GreenPale Green
MemBlueSea GreenDeep Olive GreenWhite flecked Purple.
NunGreen-BlueDull BrownVery Dark BrownLivid Indigo Brown
SamekhBlueYellowGreenDark vivid Blue
AyinBlue-VioletBlackBlue BlackCold Dark Gray
PehScarletRedVenetian RedBright Red rayed Emerald
TzaddiVioletSky BlueBluish MauveWhite tinged Purple.
QofRed-VioletBuff flecked Silver-WhiteLight translucent Pinkish BrownStone Color
ReshOrangeGold YellowRich AmberAmber rayed Red
ShinRedVermilionScarlet flecked GoldVermilion flecked Crimson & Emerald
TawIndigoBlackBlue BlackBlack rayed Blue

Some of the more unusual color names derive from the labels on Winsor & Newton Designer Gouche opaque water colors. That was the brand used by the Order of the Golden Dawn in the form of dry paint blocks, still available in tubes.



This ritual is performed as a banishment to clear the mind and the place of working from unwanted Earthly influences. Owing to the virtues of the Names of Power and the Signs of the Art, the Master of the ritual is rendered proof against any distractions and obsessions that arise from the Earthly regions. This banishment is effective also over the elemental regions of Fire, Air, and Water where they are admixed with the Earthly. This banishment is effective in controlling forces corresponding to paths 10 through 7 and paths 32 through 27 on the Traditional Tree of Life. The greatest effectiveness of this ritual is in path 32.
The Lesser Pentagram Banishing ritual is a suitable one for beginning and ending meditation of any sort.
No warnings are indicated, besides the usual suggestion that such rituals be performed in a secure and private place. Special advance precautions to avoid interruptions are necessary. Such precautions should be considered a part of the ritual.
It is advised that this ritual be performed without aids, such as elemental weapons (wand, cup, dagger, or disk) until the ritual is mastered.

The ritual is divided into three parts, with the second part being subdivided into three additional divisions.


First part. The Qabalistic Cross.
1. Stand facing the East, body straight, feet together, hands at sides.
2. Touch fore-head with right hand and say: "Ateh".
3. Pass right hand down as low over center line of body as possible without
bending at the waist and say: "Malkut".
4. Touch left shoulder with right hand and say: "Ve-Gedulah".
5. Bring right hand straight across to right shoulder, touch and say: "Ve-Geburah".
6. Clasp hands flatly, palm to palm at heart level and say: "Le-Olahm".
7. Pause, say: "Amen" and bring hands back down to sides as in # 1.

Second part, the Pentagram to the Quarters.
8. Take three steps to the East. With the right hand trace the Earth Banishing
Pentagram. This may be accomplished by first, placing your right hand
before your body on a level with your left hip. Second, move right hand
directly to a point above your head. Third, move right hand to level of
right hip. Fourth, move hand to level of left shoulder. Fifth, move hand to
level of right shoulder. Sixth, return hand directly to starting place
before left hip.
9. Say "Jehovah", at the same time WILL that the God of the Israelites
stand between you and anything harmful from the East. Imagine the
pentagram glowing with fiery and potent force.
10. Return to center. Turn to South. Take three steps. Trace the same
pentagram. Say "Adonai". WILL that the Lord of all that exists
stand before you and ward off anything that is harmful from the
South. The pentagram glows.
11. Return to center. Turn to West. Take three steps. Trace the
pentagram. Say "Eheieh". WILL that the God who Exists and who
spoke to Moses from the burning bush stand before you and ward off
anything that is harmful from the West.
12. Return to center. Turn to the North. Take three steps. Trace the
pentagram. Say "Agla". WILL that the mighty and eternal God stand
between you and anything harmful from the North.
13. Return to center. Face East. Spread your legs and hold your arms
parallel to the ground; assume the form of a pentagram.
14. Say: "Before me Raphael." Imagine a vast column of yellow light.
Imagine a cool and refreshing breeze coming from the East. An
Archangel stands before you toward the East.
15. Say: "Behind me Gabriel." Imagine a vast column of blue light.
Imagine a rushing of waters in the West. An Archangel stands behind
you toward the West.
16. Say" "On my right hand Michael." Imagine a vast column of red
light. Imagine a great heat and a roaring of flames in the South.
An Archangel stands at your right hand toward the South.
17. Say: "On my left hand Uriel." Imagine a vast column of mixed browns
and greens. An Archangel stands at your left hand toward the North.
18. Still holding the form of the pentagram and facing East, say: "For I
am the flaming pentagram in the column of the six rayed star." On
the words: "...flaming pentagram..." visualize a band of white light
connecting the previously traced pentagrams in a circle about you at
the height of your heart. This is the magical circle. On the
words: "...six rayed star." visualize the variously colored columns
of the Archangels bending together above and below you. You are now
surrounded by three mutually perpendicular circles.

Third Part.
19-25. Repeat numbers 1-7, the Qabalistic Cross.

End of Ritual.

Notes on Ritual:
Lines 1-7, the Qabalistic Cross. This first portion of the ritual may be performed separately. The rite of the Qabalistic Cross is used to stabilize the Master of the Rite in the pattern of the Tree of Life. Such stability brings all subsequent parts of the Ritual fully into the system of the Tree. This rite of the Qabalistic Cross is derived from a similar "Sign of the Cross" rite still used by Roman Catholics. The Catholic practice is very old and signifies a belief in the Trinity of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. A simple use of this Catholic version is found in exorcising or banishing evil thoughts and manifestations. Catholics also employ their version during all prayers and sacraments. This is used as a rite of entrance into a holy place.
The occult version used here is adapted with minor changes from the method given by Eliphas Levi in his Transcendental Magic, pages 233-244. Levi probably originated the occult version, although he claims that it is very old. Levi states that this Qabalistic Cross is an enactment of the so-called Occult Versicle of the Lord's Prayer. This refers to the versicle that is sometimes added by Protestants and Catholics at the end of that Prayer: "For Thine (line 2) is the Kingdom (line 3), the Justice and the Mercy (or Power and Glory, lines 4 and 5) in the Generating Ages, Amen (or Forever, Amen, lines 6 and 7)." Some of the Hebrew words used in the Qabalistic rite may be translated in this fashion. The actual origin of the Roman Catholic Sign of the Cross is found in the ancient Sign of the Hammer of Thor.
The Hebrew words that are found in lines 3, 4, and 5 are names of the Sephiroth on the Tree of Life. The other Hebrew words are also well known:
Line 2: Ateh, HayTawAleph, meaning "Thine" or "unto Thee".
Line 3: Malkut, TawVauKafLamedMem, meaning "Kingdom". Sephira 10 on the Tree of Life.
Line 4: Ve-Gedulah, HayLamedVauDaletGimel-Vau, meaning "and the greatness". Alternate
            title of the 4th Sephira, Chesed.
Line 5: Ve-Geburah, HayReshVauBetGimel-Vau, meaning "and the strength". Title of
            the 5th Sephira.
Line 6: Le-Olahm, Mem-finalLamedVauAyin-Lamed, meaning "for eternity" or "for all that exists".
Line 7: Amen, Nun-finalMemAleph, several translations, "I believe", "the truth", "I Trust".
The pentagram: For attributions to this figure and a discussion of its significance, see Appendix A. The Earth Banishment is accomplished by tracing the figure starting at the Earth point (lower left) and going toward the Spirit point (uppermost point of the pentagram). This is going from Matter to Spirit. Invoking goes from Spirit to Matter. Banish to clear interference. Earth invocation is accomplished by starting at the uppermost or Spirit point and going down to the lower left or Earth point. Invoke to receive vision in meditation on earthly matters. It is usually wise to banish before and after invocation.
Lines 9-12: These Divine names are all from the Bible (except AGLA, AlephLamedGimelAleph, which is obtained from: YodNunDaletAleph Mem-finalLamedVauAyin-Lamed ReshVauBetGimel HayTawAleph, Ateh Gibor Le-Olahm Adonai, "Thou art mighty forever O'Lord", by a process of abbreviation called Noteriqon. Jehovah, HayVauHayYod, "He/She IS", is the most frequent name for the Deity in the Bible. Eheieh, HayYodHayAleph, meaning "I AM", is part of the name of God mentioned in the passage about Moses and the burning bush. Adonai, YodNunDaletAleph, meaning "Lord", is a very common Biblical name of God.
Lines 14-17: Except for Uriel (or Ariel) these Archangelic names are found in the Bible. Michael, LamedAlephKafYodMem, meaning "likeness of God", corresponds to the element Fire. Gabriel, LamedAlephYodReshBetGimel, meaning "God is mighty", corresponds to the element Water. Raphael, LamedAlephPehResh, meaning "God heals", corresponds to the element Air. Uriel (pronounced "Ariel"), LamedAlephYodReshVauAleph, meaning "light of God", corresponds to the element Earth. It is interesting to note that "Uriel" has nearly the same meaning as "Lucifer". Also "Sir Urians" was a medieval name for the Christian Devil. The Archangel of the North is none the Star of the Morning and the Peacock Angel. This is our old friend the Devil as Lord of the Earth and focus of the might of God.
Line 18: This portion identifies the Master of the ritual with the Pentagram and associates the Pentagram with the Hexagram.
Lines 14-18 derive directly from a Hebrew night prayer found in the Siddur for Sephardic Judaism. This full ritual is easily changed and elaborated. The Hebrew portions should not be altered until fully understood. The way of tracing the pentagram should not be changed until well practiced (see O.T.O. Newsletter #4 for all 24 pentagrams suitable for use.) The vertical and horizontal motions in the first and last part should be retained, and the general pattern of circular motion should not be changed. All else is subject to alteration. Almost every writer has an individual version of Line 18. Lines 4- 5 are often reversed in in order or "handedness". One can elaborate as: "By the name and in the Name of Jehovah the gates of the East are closed and sealed," or simply say" Jehovah". An elaboration for the Archangels could take the form: "Be thou O'h Raphael a warden and a guard to the East. Let nothing pass which is not for this place and this time." The order of the Archangels is often changed to reflect geographical location and special purpose. As given here, the Elements are appropriate for the Northern Hemisphere West Coast prevailing winds. The order of the pentagrams and divine names is appropriate for the Northern Hemisphere, but can be reversed for the Southern.
In banishing, it is not advisable to name a particular thing to be banished after forming the pentagram. Such naming should be done before the pentagram is traced. When time does not permit the use of the whole ritual, a thing to be banished is visualized or imagined to be some distance away; and a pentagram is traced between oneself and the thing to be banished. The pentagram need not be actually traced with the hand, but only imagined. Will the dissolution of the thing to be banished, and visualize it melting away behind the pentagram.
Visualizations change as proficiency improves. The pentagrams should eventually appear to astral vision without being deliberately imagined.
There are several other rituals which employ the pentagram and hexagram for banishment and invocation. Books by Crowley and Regardie in the short list below contain such rituals. Among these, the Hexagram rituals may be studied with the Tree of Two Hexagrams found in Appendix A of this work. All the component hexagrams except that of Water may be traced on that Tree. The Water hexagram is very similar to one that is traceable on the Tree of Two Hexagrams.

Bibliography of the Ritual:
Butler, W.E., The Magician: His Training and Work, pages 166-169.
Crowley, Aleister, "Liber O", in Magick in Theory and Practice,
p. 375 ff. Also in the Equinox, Vol. I, No. 2, page 19.
and portions of O.T.O. Newsletter #4.
Fortune, Dion, Psychic Self-Defense, page 183.
Hirsch, Samson Raphael, The Hirsch Siddur, Feldheim Publishers, 1969,
page 727.
Levi, Eliphas, Transcendental Magic, pages 233-234.
Regardie, Israel, The Golden Dawn, Vol. I, pages 106-109.
There are many other examples of this ritual to be found in other books beside the ones mentioned.



This ritual will be given in several forms. Those wishing to use it may find one of these forms easier to start with that the others. All but the last form of the ritual may be done alone or in company. The last variation requires two people who are capable of a form of Tantric sexual union. In that variation, the Cube of Space is an adjunct to the coitus.

The Ritual of the Cube of Space.

This ritual has many uses. It may be performed as a general banishment, an invocation of balanced power, a memorizing ritual, and as a basis for other rituals. This ritual is effective over the entire Tree of Life and is a restatement of the same sort of cosmological perfection expressed through the Traditional Tree of Life. The Cube of Space is particularly effective in developing consciousness of the paths 11 through 32 of the Traditional Tree of Life.

The first form of the ritual:
Vibration of the Hebrew Letters with use of colors.
The letters are taken in three traditional groups.

1. Assume a comfortable position, one that need not be changed, facing

East if possible. You may either stand or sit, but you should
remain in the same position throughout the ritual.
2. Take a deep breath, and expel it completely while saying "Aleph".
This should be said slowly, as: "Aaaaaaaa-aaLlllllllll- llEeeeeeee-
eePhhhhhhhh-hh". In this and each of the following utterances, the
letter name should be started with the beginning of the expelling of
breath and ended as the breath runs out. Visualize a great column
of yellow light rising from the floor and passing up through your
body into and beyond the ceiling.
3. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Mem". Visualize a beam of blue light on
a level with your heart, coming from the East and going to the West.
The beam intersects the yellow column at your heart.
4. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Shin". Visualize a beam of red light on
a level with your heart, coming from the North and going through
your body to the South. This beam intersects the yellow and the
blue at your heart.
5. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Bet". Visualize a vast ceiling of yellow
light above your head.
6. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Gimel". Visualize a vast floor of blue
light beneath your feet.
7. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Dalet". Visualize a vast wall of green
light in the East before you.
8. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Kaph". Visualize a vast wall of violet
light in the west behind you.
9. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Peh". Visualize a wall of red light in
the North, on your left.
10. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Resh". Visualize a wall of Orange light
in the South, on your right.
11. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Taw". Visualize a point in the center of
the intersections of the three columns or rays of yellow, blue and
red light. The point has no color. It absorbs all colors. The
point may be visualized as black or blue-black (indigo).
12. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Heh". Visualize a column of red light in
the Northeast, where the green and red walls intersect.
13. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Vau". Visualize a beam of red-orange
light in the Southeast, where the green and orange walls intersect.
14. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Zain". Visualize a beam of orange light
running from the North to the South above the Eastern wall, where
the yellow ceiling and the green wall intersect.
15. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Chet". Visualize a beam of yellow-orange
light running from North to South below the Eastern wall, where
the blue floor and the green wall intersect.
16. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Tet". Visualize a yellow beam of light
running from East to West above the Northern wall, where the
yellow ceiling and the red wall intersect.
17. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Yod". Visualize a yellow- green beam of
light running from the East to the West below the northern wall,
where the blue floor and the red wall intersect.
18. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Lamed". Visualize a green column of
light in the Northwest, where the red and violet walls intersect.
19. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Nun". Visualize a blue-green column of
light in the Southwest, where the violet and orange walls intersect.
20. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Samekh". Visualize a beam of blue light
running from North to South above the Western wall, where the
yellow ceiling and the violet wall intersect.
21. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Ayin". Visualize a beam of blue-violet
(Indigo) light running from the North to the South below the Western
wall, where the blue floor meets the violet wall.
22. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Tzaddi". Visualize a beam of violet
light above the Southern wall, running from East to West, where
the yellow ceiling meets the orange wall.
23. Deep breath. Say slowly: "Qof". Visualize a beam of crimson (red-
violet) light running from the East to the West below the Southern
wall, where the blue floor meets the orange wall.

End of Ritual.

The Cube of Space as Viewed from the West:

Aleph-11 Bet-12 Gimel-13 Dalet-14 Hay-15 Vau-16 Zain-17 Chet-18 Tet-19 Yod-20 Kaf-21 Lamed-22 Mem-23 Nun-24 Samekh-25 Ayin-26 Peh-27 Tzaddi-28 Qof-29 Resh-30 Shin-31 Taw-32

(The numbers refer to the "key scale" used in Crowley's Liber 777)

Second form of ritual --- abbreviated.

Vibration of Hebrew letters with visualization of Tarot images.
The letters are taken in simple order from first to last.

I. Same as # 1 above.
II. Deep breath. Say slowly "Aleph". Visualize the Tarot of the

Fool in the Above to Below position (yellow column of
# 2 above.).
III. Deep breath. Say slowly "Bet". The Magician. Above.
IV. Deep breath. Say slowly "Gimel". The High Priestess. Below.
V. Deep breath. Say slowly "Dalet". The Empress. East.
VI. Deep breath. Say slowly "Heh". The Emperor (var: Star) Northeast.
VII. Deep breath. Say slowly "Vau". The Hierophant. Southeast.
VIII. Deep breath. Say slowly "Zain". The Lovers. East-above.
IX. Deep breath. Say slowly "Chet". The Chariot. East-below.
X. Deep breath. Say slowly "Tet". Strength. North-above.
XI. Deep breath. Say slowly "Yod". The Hermit. North-below.
XII. Deep breath. Say slowly "Kaph". The Wheel of Fortune. West.
XIII. Deep breath. Say slowly "Lamed". Justice. Northwest.
XIV. Deep breath. Say slowly "Mem". The Hanged Man. East to West.
XV. Deep breath. Say slowly "Nun". Death. Southwest.
XVI. Deep breath. Say slowly "Samekh". Temperance. West-above.
XVII. Deep breath. Say slowly "Ayin". The Devil. West-below.
XVIII. Deep breath. Say slowly "Peh". The Tower. North.
XIX. Deep breath. Say slowly "Tzaddi". The Star (var: Emperor) South-above.
XX. Deep breath. Say slowly "Qof". The Moon. South-below.
XXI. Deep breath. Say slowly "Resh". The Sun. South.
XXII. Deep breath. Say slowly "Shin". Judgment. North to South.
XXIII. Deep breath. Say slowly "Taw". The World. Central point.

End of Ritual.

The above two forms differ mainly in the order of the letters. The visualizations can be exchanged at will between the two. Other visualizations can and should be employed, especially ones based on the correspondences between the Hebrew letters and the terms of Astrology. Such correspondences may easily be found in Crowley's 777 and Paul Foster Case's Highlights of Tarot. The two parts of the Cube of Space Ritual to be preserved at all costs are the speaking or thinking of the names of the Hebrew letters and the visualizations of something in the various locations and directions that form a cube about the master of the ritual. The color visualizations may be easiest to use at first. Try to visualize each part of the cube in relationship to others immediately surrounding. Example: The Yellow Aleph column of lines # 2 and # II passes up through the center of the yellow Bet ceiling of lines # 5 and # III. The more that can be visualized at any one time, the better the ritual.

Ritual Meditation on the Physical Body,
Using the Hebrew Letters.

These physiological correspondences are partly derived from the Astrological correspondences to the Hebrew letters. The correspondences have been altered and extended beyond the limits usually kept in astrological work, to permit full application to the human body and to facilitate use of anatomical texts.
The most fruitful use of these body meditations employs the first form of the cube of space ritual. For example, visualize Vau as a column of red-orange in the Southeast; and then visualize a beam of that same red-orange light coming from the column to illuminate all the parts of your own body here described under Vau.
These body meditations are designed to be worked as a complete set or as three subsets (Aleph to Shin, Bet to Taw, and Heh to Qof.). It is unhealthy to meditate on one portion of your body to the exclusion of the rest. It is possible to induce sickness through becoming overly sensitive to some single organ or group of organs. When the various parts of the body are all meditated upon in a balanced pattern, a general improvement in health and tone is to be expected. Meditation on the nervous system (Aleph to Shin or Bet to Taw) has a general effect over the entire body. Meditation on systems and natural articulations of the body (Heh to Qof) also produces a general effect.
It is possible to develop specific areas of the body by meditation on just one of the letters, but this is tricky and should never be continued beyond a few sessions unless it is alternated with full meditations on all twenty-two letters and corresponding portions of the body.

ALEPH: Visualize a ribbon of yellow light traveling from the very base

of the spine to the brain. Brain and Spinal Chord.

MEM: Visualize a ribbon of blue light to the left side of the yellow

ribbon. The blue crosses the yellow to the right side near the
base of the brain.

SHIN: A ribbon of red light to the right of the yellow. The red

ribbon crosses the yellow to the left side near the base of the

ALEPH, MEM, and SHIN: Visualize a caduces of Hermes in the
substance of your body. The central shaft is yellow
with a yellow knob at top. This is the spine and
the brain. Visualize a blue serpent, with head on
the right side of your body, passing back and forth
over the yellow shaft in the manner shown.
Visualize a red serpent with head on the left side,
as shown.

BET: Visualize a yellow sphere of light just touching the top of

your head and merging with your skull to envelop your brain in
its yellow radiance.

GIMEL: A blue sphere of light centered at a point just above your

eyes, and directly between them. The blue light passes over
and into your upper face. It includes the base of your brain.

DALET: A green sphere of light centered on your larnex. It envelops

your neck, lower face, nose, ears and upper chambers of your
lungs. The glow draws strength from the section of the spinal
chord in your neck.

KOPH: A violet sphere of light centered on your diaphragm. It

includes your abdomen and lower chest. It draws strength from
the spine next to the diaphragm.

PEH: A red sphere of light centered on your upper pelvis. It

includes your lower abdomen and thighs. It draws energy from
your spine just below the small of your back.

RESH: An orange sphere of light centered on your heart. It envelops

your chest completely. It draws energy from your spine opposite to your heart.

TAW: A glowing sphere of darkness. It is centered on your anus and

includes your upper legs and buttocks. It draws energy from
the base of your spine.

BET, GIMEL, DALET, KOPH, PEH, RESH, and TAW: Alternate the images of the glowing spheres until they seem to run into each other or appear all at once.

HEH: Visualize your Brain, spine and general nervous system

radiating out like the branches of an upside-down tree from its
trunk and center.

VAU: Visualize all your organs of sense and breathing.

ZAIN: Visualize all double organs of your body; the lungs, hands,

legs, eyes, testicles or ovaries, nostrils, halves of the
brain, kidneys, etc.

CHET: Visualize your skin, skull, rib cage --- all hollow organs that

contain other organs. Visualize also your skeleton.

TET: Visualize your heart, veins, arteries, capillaries, lymph

system, interface with intestines, etc.
YOD: Visualize your throat, esophagus, stomach, intestines, rectum,
etc. --- all organs that process food.

LAMED: Visualize all your glands, liver, pancreas, spleen, kidneys,

all organs that secrete fluids.

NUN: Visualize your sexual organs and their inner parts. Visualize

all areas that give sexual pleasure or stimulation.

SAMEKH: Visualize your upper arms and thighs, your shoulders and hips.

AYIN: Visualize your elbows and knees.

TZADDI: Visualize your forearms and lower legs, your wrists and ankles.

QOF: Visualize your hands and feet.

HE, VAU, ZAIN, CHET, TET, YOD, LAMED, NUN, SAMEKH, AYIN, TZADDI, and QOF. Alternate these until you visualize your complete body.

It is desirable to obtain a good book on the human anatomy and to study it along with these meditations. A recent edition of Gray's Anatomy, published by Lea and Febiger in Philadelphia would be a good choice. Here is a guide to using this particular book in the 28th edition. The page numbers are not valid for other editions.

ALEPH: "The Central Nervous System" pages 781-888.
MEM: "The Peripheral Nervous System" pages 1009-1035.
SHIN: "The Peripheral Nervous System" pages 1009-1035.

BET: "The Central Nervous System" pages 833-895.
GIMEL: "The Central Nervous System" pages 833-895.
DALET: "The Peripheral Nervous System" pages 959-962 & 1019-1024.
KOPH: "The Peripheral Nervous System" pages 983-997 & 1027-1038.
PEH: "The Peripheral Nervous System" pages 997-998 & 1035-1036.
RESH: "The Peripheral Nervous System" pages 965-968 & 1025-1031.
TAW: "The Peripheral Nervous System" pages 988-1009 & 1035-1036.

HEH: "The Peripheral Nervous System" pages 911-1038.
VAU: "The Organs of the Senses" pages 1043-1095 and
             "The Respiratory System" pages 1118-1157.
ZAIN: This material is scattered throughout the book. Look up all
             double organs that you can think of in the index or just trip
             through the pages to catch pictures and explanations when you
             see them.
CHET: "Osteology" pages 107-286;
             "The Integument" pages 1105-1110 and scattered generally.
TET: "The Heart" pages 531-562; "The Arteries" pages 565-676;
             "The Veins" pages 677-734 and
             "The Lymphatic System" pages 735-780.
YOD: "The Digestive System" pages 1161-1257.
LAMED: "The Digestive System" pages 1161-1257;
             "The Endocrine Glands" pages 1339-1351 and
             "The Urogenital System" pages 1265 to 1338
NUN: "The Urogenital System" pages 1265-1338 and
             "The Integument" pages 1105-1117.
SAMEKH, AYIN, TZADDI and QOF: "The Joints and Ligaments" pages 295-374.
             "Muscles and Fasciae" pages 375-530.

These suggested readings in Gray's exhibit many overlaps and do not exhaust the informative possibilities of this excellent book.

In the performance of the Ritual Projection of the Cube of Space it may be helpful at first to have the aid of another person. The person performing the ritual should face East and either stand or sit in a comfortable position. An asana is useful if one has been mastered. The following material may be read aloud by the person assisting. Suitable pauses should be made to give time to perform the needed visualizations. The part that relates to the physical body may be omitted until the projection of the Cube itself is mastered.

Begin the Ritual.

The first part. Aleph. There is a shining pillar of yellow light stretching from your heart above and from your heart below. Visualize a pillar of yellow light passing to infinite heights above you and descending to infinite depths below you, passing through your heart.
Visualize your spine and brain glowing with the same soft yellow radiance.

Mem is a brilliant beam of blue light passing from infinite distances in front of you, through your heart to infinite distances behind you. You see the beam of blue light intersecting the pillar of yellow light at the point of your heart.
The nerves to the right side of your body are bathed in a soft blue glow.

Shin is a brilliant beam of red light coming from an infinite distance to your left, passing through your heart and continuing to an infinite distance to your right. You see the beam of red light intersecting the blue beam and the yellow pillar in your heart.
The nerves to the right side of your body are bathed in a soft red glow. These yellow, blue and red glowings in your body swirl and intertwine to form a living caduces of Hermes in your body.

Bet is above. Visualize a vast yellow ceiling of light above your head. Rising straight up through you body, passing into and through the sheet of yellow light is a yellow pillar of light. See a canopy of yellow, supported by a column of yellow. See a vast yellow mushroom towering through you and above you.
The yellow light from the sky above you projects a yellow sphere of light to envelop the top of your head and the brain within. Feel a soft warmth in your scalp, a gentle caress within your thoughts.

Gimel is below you. There is an endless sea of blue radiance beneath your feet. Into this floor of blue descends the yellow pillar. Your are softly lifted upon a maternal sea.
From the blue waters below you there rises a glowing blue haze. This settles about your face and forms a sphere of blue light centered upon your forehead. Its soft coolness cleanses your thoughts and brings visions of things distant and near.

Dalet is before you. There is a green wall of light drawn from all the leaves of all the forests that ever grew upon the Earth. The green wall of light extends before you above and below, to right and to left as far as you can see. There is a beam of blue light that unites the green wall with your lifting heart. The green wall intersects the yellow sky and the blue sea below.
From the green wall a green light comes to envelop your throat in green light. Breathing is easier and stronger. The senses come alive.

Koph is behind you. There is a violet wall of light shining in regal splendor behind you. Its height and breath stretch to infinity. From the center of the violet wall of light a blue beam of light reaches out to pass through your heart and to penetrate the green wall before you. The violet wall behind you meets the yellow ceiling of light above and the blue floor below.
From the violet wall of light a violet mist comes to settle in a sphere of light about your abdomen. The light centers on your diaphragm. It cools and vitalizes.

Peh is to the left. A wall of blood red light stretches to infinities on the left. It intersects yellow above, blue below. It meets the green wall before you and the violet wall behind you. From the center of the red wall of light to the left comes a red beam of light to penetrate your heart.
A globe of red light detaches itself from the red wall and draws toward you. It surrounds your sexual organs and gives them strange awakening.

Resh is on the right. This is a wall of brilliant orange light. The orange light on the right intersects the yellow above and the blue below. It meets the green before you, and it meets the violet behind you. From the center of the orange wall a beam of red light comes to penetrate your heart and pass to the red wall on your left.
A sphere of orange light comes from the right hand wall to surround your chest. It invigorates the whole body with its vital energies.

Taw is in the center. Where the three beams of light intersect at you heart there is a strange spot of all colors and no color at all. This is an empty place and a place full of all things. This is the middle point of the universe.
From the center of the cube emanates a sphere of colorless light to center on the anus of your body. At times this light seems to be black as deepest space. At times it seems a mixture of all colors.

Slowly attempt to visualize all the cube yet projected. If the colors come easily, visualize them. If the parts of the cube are only seen as gray forms about you, that is enough.
Visualize all the correspondences to the physical body so far projected.

Heh is as vertical pillar of red light in front of you and to the left. It rises where the green wall before you meets the red wall to your left. Visualize your brain and all the nerves of your body.

Vau is a vertical pillar of red-orange light in front of you and to your right. It rises where the green wall before you meets the orange wall to your right.
Visualize inside you all organs of sensation and breathing.

Zain is an orange beam of light that is above you and in front of you. It runs along the top of the green wall before you where the wall meets the yellow ceiling above you.
Visualize all double organs of your body.

Chet is a yellow-orange beam of light that is below you and in front of you. It runs along the base of the green wall before you where it joins the blue floor beneath you.
Visualize all hollow organs of your body. Visualize also your skeleton.

Tet is a yellow beam of light to your left and above you. It tops the red wall to your right where that wall meets the yellow ceiling above you.
Visualize all blood and lymph carrying organs of your body.

Yod is a yellow-green beam of light below the red wall to your left where that red wall meets the blue floor.
Visualize all digestive and assimilative organs of your body.

Lamed is a green pillar of light to your left and behind you. It rises where the red wall to your left meets the violet wall behind you. Visualize all glands and fluid secreting organs of your body.

Nun is a blue-green pillar of light that rises to your right and behind you. It rises where the violet wall behind you meets the orange wall to your right.
Visualize your sexual organs.

Samekh is a beam of blue light behind and above you. It tops the violet wall where the violet wall meets the yellow ceiling.
Visualize your shoulders and upper arms, your hips and thighs.

Ayin is a blue-violet beam of light behind and below you. It runs along the bottom of the violet wall behind you where that wall intersects the blue floor beneath you.
Visualize your elbows and knees.

Tzaddi is a beam of violet light to your right and above you. It is found where the orange wall on your right meets the blue ceiling above you.
Visualize your forearms and lower legs.

Qof is a red-violet beam of light to your right and below you. It rests on the boundary between the orange wall to your right and the blue floor below you. Visualize your feet and hands.

Visualize the whole cube at one time or in sections.
Visualize your whole body.

End the ritual when finished.

This form of the cube of space ritual is for learning purposes only. The ritual is an exercise of the mind, and the only sounds that should accompany it when it is fully learned are not these words but the names of the Hebrew letters. The specific visualizations are not hard and fast. They may be developed by anyone who has mastered the ritual and who wishes to elaborate or change it. The various correspondences to the Hebrew letters found in Crowley's 777 and in other books may be substituted for the ones given here. Only the letter names and the allocations of those letters and their correspondences to various parts of the cube should not be changed.
If difficulty is experienced in visualizing the various colors, the person desiring to master this meditation ritual may improve color visualization by painting or coloring Tarot cards or other pictures. Once experience is gained with pigments, the color visualizations will be easier.

When two lovers are both capable of performing this ritual, they may perform it together in the state of sexual union. In such a magical love-making, the participants should first perform this ritual apart, with stress on the correspondences to their own bodies. While in tantric, unmoving sexual union, the participants should perform the ritual each simultaneously visualizing the other's body as their own. When physical and mental union is perfect, the two may soar to infinite heights. When the cube of space ritual is used in this manner, it becomes an aid to the higher ritual of the tantric union.



This ritual draws for its detailed explanation on the descriptions of the thirty-two parts of the traditional Tree of Life given elsewhere in this work. Its effective use depends on understanding interpretations of the Tree.

The Tree of Life Ritual.

Stand erect facing East, or imagine yourself in such a position. Place your arms loosely at your sides and become calm. Instead of standing, a full lotus asana may be assumed (Padmasana).
1. Say "Malkut" (10 on the Tree) and visualize a sphere of earthly
colors immediately below you and supporting the weight of your
body. This is the place of all material things.
2. Say "Taw" (path 32 on the Tree) and visualize a beam of indigo
reaching from the earthly sphere below you to the height of your
loins. This vertical beam communicates upward the sense experiences
of the material.
3. Say "Yesod" (9) and visualize a sphere of violet light surrounding
your sexual organs. This is the place of all dreams and fantasies
derived from experiences in the world of matter.
4. Say "Shin" (path 31) and visualize a red beam of light rising at an
angle from the earthly sphere below you to the level of your right
hip. This is the path whereby all rational impressions of the
physical world are communicated upward.
5. Say "Resh" (30) and visualize a beam of orange light rising at a low
angle from the violet sphere at your loins and going to join with
the red beam on the level of your right hip. This is the path that
communicates all rational impressions of the dream consciousness to
higher levels.
6. Say "Hod" (8) and visualize an orange sphere of light surrounding
your right hip. This is the lower seat of reason in which the mind
formulates a rational conception of the physical.
7. Say "Qop" (path 29) and visualize a beam of red-violet light rising
from the earthly sphere below you and going at an angle to the
height of your left hip. This is the path that communicates emotional
impressions of the physical world to the higher levels.
8. Say "Tzaddi" (path 28) and visualize a beam of violet light rising
at a low angle from the violet sphere at your loins and joining the
red-violet beam at your left hip. This is the path whereby
emotional impressions of the dream consciousness are communicated to
higher levels.
9. Say "Peh" (path 27). This is a beam of red light that travels
horizontally from the orange sphere at your right hip to join the
other two beams of light at your left hip. This path communicates
between rational understanding of the physical and emotional wisdom
of the ways of the physical.
10. Say "Netzach" (7) and visualize a green sphere of light on a level
with your left hip. This is the place of emotional perfection of
the things of the physical in consciousness.
11. Pause and consider the visualizations and their significance.
12. Say "Ayin" (path 26) and visualize a blue-violet beam of light
rising at an angle from the orange sphere at your right hip to the
level of your heart. This is the path whereby rational
consciousness of the physical world is elevated to higher levels.
13. Say "Samekh" (path 25) and visualize a blue pillar of light rising
from the violet sphere about your loins to your heart. This is the
path whereby dreams and fantasies are elevated.
14. Say "Nun" (path 24) and visualize a blue-green beam of light rising
at an angle from the green sphere of light at your left hip to the
level of your heart. This is the path whereby emotional
consciousness of the physical is elevated to higher levels.
15. Say "Tipheret" (6) and visualize a yellow (or golden) sphere of
light about the center of your body and your heart. This is the
place of understanding life in the physical world and life in higher
mental worlds.
16. Say "Mem" (path 23) and visualize a blue vertical beam of light
rising from the orange sphere on your right hip to a point on your
right shoulder. This is the path whereby the lower rational
consciousness of the physical world is elevated to the level of
moral rational consciousness.
17. Say "Lamed" (path 22) and visualize a beam of green light rising at
an angle from the yellow sphere at your heart to the level of your
right shoulder. This is the path whereby consciousness of life as
it is rises to the level of understanding life as it should be.
18. Say "Geburah" (5) and visualize a red sphere of light about your
right shoulder. This is the place of rational consciousness of what
is just and good.
19. Say "Koph" (path 21) and visualize a violet beam of light rising
vertically from the green sphere at your left hip to a point on your
left shoulder. This is the path whereby the emotional comprehension
of the physical is elevated to emotional comprehension of all things
physical and not physical.
20. Say "Yod" (path 20) and visualize a beam of yellow-green light
rising from the yellow sphere about your heart to the level of your
left shoulder. This is the path whereby the life experience is
elevated to emotional perfection.
21. Say "Tet" (path 29) and visualize a horizontal beam of yellow light
passing from the red sphere at your right shoulder to your left
shoulder. This is the path whereby the rational understanding of
rightness in all things is elevated to emotional comprehension of
perfection of all things.
22. Say "Chesed" (4) and visualize a blue sphere of light about your
left shoulder. This is the place of emotional perfection, the place
of yearning for union with the absolute.
23. Pause and consider what has happened to this point.
24. Say "Chet" (path 18) and visualize a yellow-orange beam of light
rising vertically from the red sphere at your right shoulder to the
right half of your brain. This is the path whereby all reason
returns to its archetype.
25. Say "Zain" (path 17) and visualize an orange beam of light rising
from the yellow sphere at your heart to the right half of your
brain. This is the path that communicates the whole life experience
back to the place of perfect reason.
26. Say "Binah" (3) and visualize a black sphere that radiates as though
it were light and that envelops the right half of your brain. This
is the place of perfect understanding, not understanding of
particular things but of all existence.
27. Say "Vau" (path 16) and visualize a beam of vertical red-orange
light rising from the blue sphere at your left shoulder to the left
half of your brain. This is the path whereby all emotion returns to
its archetype.
28. Say "Heh" (path 15) and visualize a red beam of light rising at an
angle from the yellow sphere at your heart to the level of the left
half of your brain. This is the path whereby all the life
experience is elevated to the place of emotional perfection beyond
all physical things.
29. Say "Dalet" (path 14) and visualize a beam of horizontal green light
passing from the black sphere on the right half of your brain to the
left half of your brain. This is the path whereby all rational
perfection is united to all emotional perfection.
30. Say "Chokmah" (2) and visualize a gray sphere of intense light about
the left half of your brain. This is the place of energy and
absolute emotional wisdom.
31. Say "Gimel" (path 13) and visualize a blue beam of vertical light
rising from the yellow sphere at your heart and going to a place
just above your head. This is the path whereby all the life
experience is elevated to perfect unity.
32. Say "Bet" (path 12) and visualize a yellow beam of light rising at
an angle from the black sphere of light at the right half of your
brain and going to a point just above your head. This is the path
whereby pure reason is unified.
33. Say "Aleph" (path 11) and visualize a beam of yellow light rising at
an angle from the gray sphere of light at the left half of your
brain and going to a point just above your head. This is the path
whereby pure emotion is unified.
34. Say "Keter" (1) and visualize a sphere of flawless white light
directly above your head. This is the place of perfect unity.
35. Say "Ain Soph Aur" (000) and visualize a darkness. This is that
which is limitless light in seeming darkness. This is the place
beyond the one and the many.
36. Say "Ain Soph" (00) and visualize a deeper darkness beyond the
first. This is the place of no limitation that is beyond all light.
37. Say "Ain" (0) and visualize an impenetrable and endless silent
darkness. This is the place of no-thing beyond all else.
38. Say nothing and visualize nothing. This is no place at all.
39. When a subjective eternity has passed away say "Eheieh" (I AM) and
visualize the white sphere of Keter above your head. This is the
returning to a state of unity from that which is beyond unity. This
is returning to being from that which is beyond being.
40. Say "Yah" (HE or SHE IS) and visualize the gray sphere of Chokmah at
the left half of your brain. This is the going forth from unity to
duality and the drawing forth of power.
and visualize the black sphere of Binah at the right half of your
brain. This is the multiplication of being to produce the unity
that is found in the many things existing in one creation. This is
the gathering of power to work wonders.
42. Say "El" (HE IS GREAT) and visualize the blue sphere of Chesed at
your left shoulder. This is the going forth of all forms into the
creation of the universe. This is the power of love in creation.
visualize the red sphere of Geburah at your right shoulder. This is
the limitation of forms for the production of a particular creation.
This is the power to control ultimate manifestation.
44. Say "Jehovah Eloah Va-Da'at" (HE or SHE IS DEITY AND KNOWLEDGE) and
visualize the yellow sphere of Tipheret about your heart. This is
the assembling of the creative force in a perfected image of the
existence to come. This is the assembly of a life.
45. Say "Jehovah Tzabaot" (HE or SHE IS SPLENDOR) and visualize the
green sphere of Netzach at your left hip. This is the multiplying
of developed forms for incorporation into physical creation. This
is the place of natural love.
46. Say "Elohim Tzabaot" (THE GODS AND GODDESSES ARE SPLENDOR) and
visualize the orange sphere of Hod at your right hip. This is the
limitation of developed forms for the production of a particular
physical creation. This is the place of magical selection of what
will happen in the world.
47. Say "Shaddai El Chai" (ALMIGHTY GOD LIVES FOREVER) and visualize
the violet sphere of Yesod at your sexual organs. This is the going
forth of the final impulse of creation into the created physical
universe. This is the place of consummation of magical acts.
48. Say "Adonai Melekh Ha-Aretz" (LORD KING OF THE EARTH) and visualize
the earthly sphere of Malkut beneath you. This is the created
physical universe.
This ritual is a key to limitless growth and endless magical power.
Discover its uses.